Is depression an actual medical issue or is it a regular feeling that is considered a problem and diagnocized for the...

Is depression an actual medical issue or is it a regular feeling that is considered a problem and diagnocized for the sake of selling medication to people who think they need it?
ADHD is known for being overdiagnocized for the sake of selling more ritalin, could there be a similar thing going on with depression and bipolar disorder? The number of diagnostics seems to be getting higher and higher as time goes.

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I want to literally kill myself. Is it a regular feeling?
I don't know, you tell me.

The moving goalpost that is medicine

It's an actual medical issue. It's more than just a bad mood.

True depression is real and harmful. It needs to be diagnosed though, not just self assumed because you have a bad day or want Internet points from being ducked up.

This. I have it and I've been on SSRIs for nearly two years. It sucks anons.

In America, psychologists are fucking ridiculous. The DSM, can be used to give anyone a depression diagnosis and Americans fucking know it.

Your mom died today?
Fucking clinical depression sufferer.

People get sad from time to time. If your sad ALL the time however, THEN see professional help.

Anywhere apart from America, is chill though.

I had moderate depression and it was a real thing. I got out of it with the help of serotonin reuptake inhibitors that gave me strength to face my fears and get my shit together in just six months.

Two years later I quit smoking, lost 10 kg (and more to come) and got myself my dream job. All I'm missing is a gf, which means I still have unresolved issues, but I know I'm going to tackle them just as I tackled everything else.

I lost 10 years of my life to depression. It is real. And it can be kicked out.

Well done Spainbro. I'm on sertraline atm. I'm making small steps. Might learn to drive soon and get a job. Still a virgin but at least I can cope in daily life, most of the time, now.

what med did you take?


I was diagnosed with Bipolar I. I agree that many people are "self-diagnosed" which is frustrating because they think bipolar is just muh mood swings. It's very and very serious but treatable. Being on medication has improved nearly every single aspect of my life that mental illness had poisoned.

I hope I'm on the second path. Although I don't really think I'll get married, or even want to

t. Mental health professional wizard

I have the real severe chronic depression and went untreated for eight years. I could have had a normal life if a family member or a doctor had taken notice and gotten me the help I needed.

No. Depression is a description of symptoms, it doesn't specify causes.

Most people who claim to be depressed are lazy narcissistic fuck wits.

Probably like 1% have a physical issue.

lol you cannot be further from the truth senpai

t. Juilliard trained doctorate of psychoanalysistologistics

>What is serotonin reuptake

i'm on sertralin (as anxiolytic, not against depression) since about a month. Shit sucks, i get liquid shit from it from time to time and the first week or so i couldn't go out of the house because my pupils were as wide as those of someone on MDMA and made my eyes hurt.

I really hate it to depend on drugs to be able to feel normal for now.

Seriously, everyone is a depressed, autistic addict nowadays. It's trendy.

I think people have used self diagnosed mental illness to replace Dayan as the big bad.

If you are really ill you kill yourself. If you are a spoiled bitch you lie around for a decade begging for attention.

You should do more research user, you lost the plot too.

Satan as the big bad*

>i get liquid shit from it from time to time and the first week or so i couldn't go out of the house because my pupils were as wide as those of someone on MDMA and made my eyes hurt.
>I really hate it to depend on drugs to be able to feel normal for now.

Yeah I had some bad shits the first few days too kek. My eyes were ok, though I do feel a bit sleepy sometimes.

Like you I was scared of taking them at first, I didn't want them to change me. But they haven't, and IMO it's worth it to be able to cope. If you feel they're not working for you, you can either increase your dose or switch to a different drug, like Citalopram or Fluoxetine

I think the only autist in the thread is you

>Is depression an actual medical issue
No it isn't, just like "string theory" is not an actual scientific theory because it cannot be tested. "Depression" is not an "illness" because the word "illness" does have a definition and set of criteria.

If your doped up on anti-depressants, you are simply a druggy not a person undergoing "treatment". What kind of treatment involves taking pills that mess with your thought processes in ways that nobody yet understands? That doesn't sound medicinal to me. Having said that, it doesn't matter that "depression" is not a medical issue in the normal sense. Humans are all about using tools to adapt to their reality. If taking mystery pills and classifying yourself as "depressed" helps you move forward with life, it is a good thing.

But for a lot of people a diagnosis of "depression" is simply a way for them to avoid looking at their situation and taking steps to make it bearable without being in a drug-haze. Anti-depressants are a lot like Soma, and you should avoid looking at them as if they are a medical treatment. Thy are a tool to get you through a time of extreme weakness where you don't have the energy to engage with life (just like all drugs), but the "cure" for depression is changing your life through self-discovery.

>Is depression an actual medical issue or is it a regular feeling that is considered a problem and diagnocized for the sake of selling medication to people who think they need it?
its not a medical issue, the only time when it does is when it interfere with normal life.

some people have "depressed" personality type. and that's fine.
some people suffer from depression hardcore, which needs to be medicated

DSM-IV Criteria for Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)
• Depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities for more than two weeks.
• Mood represents a change from the person's baseline.
• Impaired function: social, occupational, educational.
• Specific symptoms, at least 5 of these 9, present nearly every day:
1. Depressed mood or irritable most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report
(e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful).
2. Decreased interest or pleasure in most activities, most of each day
3. Significant weight change (5%) or change in appetite
4. Change in sleep: Insomnia or hypersomnia
5. Change in activity: Psychomotor agitation or retardation
6. Fatigue or loss of energy
7. Guilt/worthlessness: Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
8. Concentration: diminished ability to think or concentrate, or more indecisiveness
9. Suicidality: Thoughts of death or suicide, or has suicide plan

See how it puts emphasis on how much time the symptoms persist?
Check yourself faggot
what the fuck?

most people are silent about it and only go visit a doctor when they really need help. Mental disorders suck and for many people its simply not possible to combat them all by themself, they need help. I'd agree that in many cases they could probably get out of the hole solely with self discipline and drive but the lack of those is often the reason why they ended up there in the first place.

Being depressed is not trendy besides on special snowflake boards

Don't worry about that now. When you find the right one, boy, it will happen and it will be good.

it certainly works, just the side effects suck. I hope i will only need it for another month or so, when the box is empty i'll see how it works out without them. I mean i was fine for decades, i hope the unbalance in my brain or whatever it is goes away just as fast as it came.

I don't fear that they'll change me, it just makes me feel kinda defective relying on drugs to function normally.

I don't think Cred Forums is the best place for mental health support, considering the level of "advice"/"explanation" going on ITT

People need a scape goat. We used to blame our sins on the devil and demons. Now we blame them on mental illness. Both are intangible ethereal concepts that we can claim go beyond our powers to change. Essentially humans can't handle free choice and certainly can't handle the thought that they make bad decisions willingly.

Ive done tests and I literally do not produce enough saratonin in my system, and no diet can fix this.

I takes meds because otherwise I'm nervous, I'm scared and I struggle to talk eith people. I've actually tried going out and trying to talk to people but it's such a mental screw up for me. I take pills to balance me out, it's not fun to admit that genetically you aren't balanced, but if society can ease the weight off me then I would accept it. Otherwise I'm completely healthy, and it's be a shame to kill myself when an alternative is available.
it's actually scary going off because I'm a stressed out nervous wreck that can't handle any pressure. Needed to swallow my pride instead of hiding it, but I've hid it my whole life.

Your brain is a delicate machine. And any little change is huge, you just need to learn that not everyone is born equal.

>logical emotional reactions to a situation are now a disease
>because the disease cannot be defined independently of subjective perception there is no cure
>but these strange chemicals seem to help in unknown ways when you dose your brain with them
>that seems like a better solution than changing the situation that causes negative emotional reactions

It's stupid. Will people finally realize how stupid it is when 70% of people have to be doped up on antidepressants or kill themselves?

>I takes meds because otherwise I'm nervous, I'm scared and I struggle to talk eith people. I've actually tried going out and trying to talk to people but it's such a mental screw up for me. I take pills to balance me out, it's not fun to admit that genetically you aren't balanced, but if society can ease the weight off me then I would accept it. Otherwise I'm completely healthy, and it's be a shame to kill myself when an alternative is available.
>it's actually scary going off because I'm a stressed out nervous wreck that can't handle any pressure. Needed to swallow my pride instead of hiding it, but I've hid it my whole life.

iktf bro. You're not alone. Shame we can't meet up

You know, you can just stop replying to this thread instead of floundering around and trying to convince Cred Forums you have any idea what you're talking about.

shit, am actually on path #2, working hard on

>physical fitness

this place isn't a good place for medical advice in general, never was. At least for people not being able to filter out what is bullshit and what isn't.

The way many people think here is misleading however. I always thought of depression and anxiety disorders as weakness, as something you can simply avoid/fight by not behaving like a sad sack of shit/limp wristed faggot. Then you get the shit yourself and it hits you like a brick.

>being sad everyday is a logical emotion
They are neither intangible or ethereal

I saw your flag and thought you'd be the Britbing to tell me to kill myself. Glad to know we aren't alone.

I have depression(technically bipolar, but the manic periods are like a few months only and the depressive ones are years long so it's essentially just depression), and it is very real.

I think the medications are complete bullshit, I tried a few and they just fucked with my mental state to a point where I preferred drinking till blackout just so I could sleep to continuing them.

I've just sucked it up at this point and focused on at least working to support myself and trying to not let it affect other people around me negatively.

It is fucking awful though, it is a complete inability to feel good about anything. I literally never feel good, my body feels completely wrong at all times, my mind is like a sludge of confusion and numbness, there is like a shadow hanging over everything, feelings of dread and despair never leave.

Nothing makes it better, not getting a girl or a job, drugs, art, whatever, you are incapable of responding normally to the things that give you a reason to want to exist. The only times of respite are the periods of mania which are accompanied by delusive beliefs that border on schizophrenia for me.

I don't kill myself because it would destroy my family and I don't have the will necessary to carry it out anyway.

I don't know if it's possible to explain this state of being to people who aren't in it. My life was great until this started, there was nothing wrong, and then it crept into me like some cancer and has never left.

It is like constantly dreaming, you are constantly 'waking up' into some reality that doesn't make sense, nothing feels real, it all seems like some awful mistake, and you can't actually stop to think about it because it is impossible to focus on anything, you can;t even really think.

I am a relatively high-functioning depressive as well, for people in catatonic states I can't even imagine what they're experiencing

Trust me, you try. You don't want to admit you need to rely on pills. But when you haven't left your house for the 18th day and start freaking out over anything.

I like talking to people, but I'm just not good at it. I'm scared of commitment and I'm scared of people knowing too much about me. So now I'm lonely, but I don't want be, but I've gotten used to it.

Might as well feel nothing then to feel bad all the time.

you're wrong on that. I don't know how it's called in english, so i'll freely translate it from german as "depth psychotherapy" and "analytical psychotherapy". Both aim to unlearn wrong behavior patterns and replace them with healthy ones to fix mental disorders like anxiety disorder that may also be treated with drugs. And they work.

It's not all about finding something to blame for what a fuck up you are, sometimes there are actually reasons and thus legit ways to fix it.

dont come to Cred Forums if you're fucking "depressed"

simple as that

watching the world burn is not a good uplifting activity

Have you tried getting psychiatric help?

Physician here.

Psychiatrists are the losers of the medical profession. It's the bottom of the barrel. You would be much better off seeing a neurologist.

More to the point, depression is an actual disease, as in you can run chemistries and you will be able to tell if someone is depressed based on the levels you get. (the difference between a disease and an illness is that diseases have well-understood biological pathways and illnesses are kind of just general feelings of being unwell)

Depression is a bad disease because anti-depressants (SSRIs) only have like a 30% chance of helping someone, as opposed to anti-anxiety medications like Xanax which work very well for depression but are also much more dangerous.

You're actually better off changing your diet and exercising more (lifting weights specifically) than you are taking medicine for depression. The outcomes are much better for people who aren't depressed because they have a physical disability.

OK. You described it better.

It's that feeling of being drunk right? You're sitting down drinking coffee but you aren't actually aware of your surroundings. You snap awake to look at something to feel awake but it's just not clicking.

I see reality through some foggy lens. Bit if I go off my meds I'll just be another scared whiner that can't handle reality. It's like I'm on cruise control and autopilot.

> i didn't want them to change me

Then why are you taking them you stupid weak minded cunt ?

What's your specialty user? Or are you primary care?

Yes. But it's not psychiatric help I need. My mindset is positive. I worked out, I've had partners and so on. But the wiring of my brain just doesn't compute.

Can't polish I turd I like to say. I'm probably always going to be a bi polar mess of anxiety. I'm scared of having kids because I don't want to pass on my messy DNA onto them, but I love kids. I'm in a catch 22

Pediatric gynaecology.

Jk I'm an anaesthesiologist

>Wide pupils
Oh fuck this. I got kicked out of a high school class because my teacher thought I was high.

i never was depressed. at least i think so. Also this side cheers me up more often than it makes me sad. That your nation is dying is a fact you come to accept after some time.

yeah that could probably help. What you describe sounds more like something that can probably be fixed with good therapy. I'm starting one for anxiety disorder, what i've spoken about with my doc until now sounds good.

hard finding a good one in general. Here in germany your insurance will pay for 5 test termines at 5 different psychiatrists of your choice. I had the luck to find a really competent one that happened to work 20 somewhat years as internist before switching to psychology.

How many people have you killed putting them under?

this sadly. Cred Forums is fun and all but too hostile

they help. and they haven't changed me

because you have the choice of constantly feeling like shit (or in my case getting panic attacs and not being able to follow your every day tasks at all) and swallowing some pills that have been proven to have no severe side effects.

it got away after about a week though. Felt like some lizard man hissing in pain every time i accidentaly watched out of the window.

It's a real thing. It's like lying in a bottomless pit and it really fucking sucks. Nothing feels like anything anymore and you become detached.

None, but have no fear I have a very long career ahead of me

The first ones the toughest, after that you kind of know how to get it done.

SSRI are great. I have been prescribed it although i don't think i am having depression. I just feel fearless and i am having tempers to the point where i could kill someone.

I have realized that I am honestly just not smart enough to properly express the phenomenological characteristics of depression.

The 'dreaming' label is the best I have been able to come up with because it captures that feeling that you are not really there, you are being pulled through some strange experience which you are barely responding to consciously, even if outwardly people might see what they think is a lucid, rational agent.

I have trouble remembering what was happening even half an hour ago, ever few minutes is a bizarre episode of confusion mixed with a struggle to surface into an understanding of what is happening, all under the weight of an enormous awful physical feeling I can only compare to a time when I was deeply ill with blood loss, near the point of death, and movement was difficult.

And I think more than even the mental confusion its the difficulty of movement I hate the most. Walking down the street feels like wading into a pond of molasses with weird chains attached to your limbs that jerk at uncertain intervals, making you into a stuttering puppet that can barely make it to the store and back.

I specifically sought out a job of intense physical labor because the exertion needed for it breaks through some of this barrier and there is little need for any kind of coherent planning or interaction.

The main cause of depression is boredom. It's hard to get bored when every day is a struggle for survival.

Israel red

Fuck yeah.

so I should go innawoods or live on a commune?

a little late to the thread, but what medications are you on?

i haven't found anything that works well for me. I'm on wellbutrin and lamitcal and seroquel for sleep, but i'm trying to get off seroquel

Yes, everything you say is what I feel.

What's worse is that I've found a way to feel awake, and to remember things not elderly, and it's with weed. It's fucking horrible. Ive completely abandoned my old friends and lifestyle for college and now I don't even remember what I'm doing one week from the next. But when I smoke I suddenly remembered old friends and what we used to do, what I was remembered for.

I'm stuck reliving my life through a plant and outside of trying to make a career I'm barely conscious for the lessons. I have to write everything down or else I'll forget it all within an hour.

Pic unrelated. I just thought it'd suit this thread.

See this is what lead me to understand what heaven and immortality is like.

In heaven you don't get bored, you can do something there and you'll find enjoyment in it because your eternal soul is no longer bound by "survival"

At least I wish I believes in heaven.

They changed your mental state to another, that's why you are obviously taking them. Grow up kid and learn to evolve by accepting yourself which results in natural healing.

Are you comfortable with yourself?

Your level of self awareness must be very shit.

did you do did through medication only or did you also enlist the help of a therapist?

Just look at all these blog posts.

You fucking spoiled useless first world emo drug addicts permavirgins.

why? I think it's quite decent.

It's who I am. I don't bother anyone.

It's not a physically disability, it's a mental insufficiency. I'm on medication that sometimes "glitches" but otherwise in fine.

I've got Bipolar and your second line describes the start of mania pretty accurately. At the beginning literally everything is interesting and significant but you aren't so keyed up you can't relax. Everything makes sense in a way but also you don't really care if it really makes sense because it makes sense to you.

Then you become overwhelmed by all the amazing things in the world, one thing leads to another and you're escaping through a bathroom window to join an orthodox Monastery in St Petersburg because your family has locked all the doors and the police are on the way.

it's good at the start though desu. I just see it as being like diabetes but in your brain instead of your pancreas; people like me have trouble regulating our 'feel good' chemicals, it's too easy for us to get too low or too high. Some people are really bad and need meds, some need meds occasionally and some can handle it with lifestyle changes.

>At the beginning literally everything is interesting and significant but you aren't so keyed up you can't relax. Everything makes sense in a way but also you don't really care if it really makes sense because it makes sense to you.
>Then you become overwhelmed by all the amazing things in the world
This was my experience exactly, but it translated beautifully into the world, everyone around me seemed to be similarly impacted by the revelations I was having, and life was unimaginably beautiful for a few months

I never went full insane, though there was a moment where I was seriously considering building a church for a new religion I believed needed my help, it just kind of ended, and I went back into depression

Sometimes I am, sometimes not. But giving your mood a negative value makes you an idiot. When you feel depressed, change your perspective to it. Your body gives you a "negative" sign which we define as depression. Analyze your thoughts without judging them, because thats whats your stupid intellect does continiously. Thats why it is called a "mood". Because it changes like the weather. But you all are possessed by fear.

>Grow up kid and learn to evolve by accepting yourself which results in natural healing

Normalfag bullshit. Some of us can't cope with the shitty world you cunts create

Quiet or we'll airstrike you again

Prozac gives you the strength to dismember shitty little slavic bodies. I would do that then i would pour vodka on your asshole and fuck it till the end of time.

Also it is bizarre but it was a Russian thing for me as well, it was centered around an old legend they have about a city that fell beneath a lake

it's an excuse to derive people off their free will and deny them the freedom to make a decision that won't significantly impact anyone but themselves.

While it's true that depression and bipolar disorder are over diagnosed, they are also very real, and oftentimes crippling, conditions.

I ended up getting locked up and dozed up on benzos for a week, can't remember a thing. By the end though, literally any disagreement or interaction that impeded my 'goals' sparked uncontrollable rage I've never felt before. Pretty scary to be so out of control.

Did feel nice for everything to feel sense for once, even if it was just for a couple of months. I've only every been hypo-manic since then and I've been able to calm myself down before it got too bad, take some supplements do some deep breathing/exercise etc.

I'm sometimes tempted to try and kick start a manic episode again just because everything seems so boring now but I know it will irrevocably fuck my life up and I'll end up in prison, ruining my normie wage-slave life. Which isn't much of an incentive when I think about it so I try not to.

Do you find you get 'up' a lot more easily since your first episode? I never used to get worked up or excited but it feels like I've gained a bit of emotional elasticity if that makes sense.

Aspie here, oddly enough Cred Forums had helped me get my shit together considerably, and that includes combating depressive episodes.

At the end of the day, you have to help yourself. You can reach out to others, doctors and the like, but they aren't going to carry you on their back. There's nothing shameful about accepting help where it's offered, and arming yourself appropriately for whatever battles you have to fight. There is shame, however, in being a leeching nigger who uses their condition as an excuse not to contribute to society while making no attempt to combat it.

I was raised in Commiefornia, where the school system basically beats the shit out of you if you're a straight white male, and teachers push college like pimps with thirsty hoes on deck. If you weren't a college educated feminist CEO out of school, you were basically looked down on as garbage.

Nobody ever explained to me how to be happy as a working class man, or how to take pride in my work, and living an honest life, until I came here. So, thank you all. Best of luck to every single one of you.


When I was manic I thought I was smart as fuck. I looked into going back to school for civil engineering. It never occurred to me that I could barely pass algebra the last time I took it in college.

I talked a million miles per minute and made a few new friends. I had the confidence I've never experienced before.

When I was finally medicated I was so disappointed because I thought I had come out of my depression.

Read this user. It covers anti depressants as well as opioids.

Wait, an aussie not shitposting?

As far as I can tell, yes it is. They aren't "Mystery Drugs" as much as it is trial and error, due to everyone's brain being slightly different. While some people use 'Depression' as a way to Xanax their brain into oblivion, there are people who just seemingly can't cope with the (((nothing))) that they face, and that isn't normal. So they get drugged until they can, or that little voice of 'It'll be so easy' goes away.

- t. someone who worked in a psych ward

Like most personality disorders (ADHD, autism, PTSD, etc.), there is such a thing as actual medical depression. Some people really are in a state of constant suffering regardless of stimulus or conditions, but this is the minority of diagnosed cases of depression.

Most "depressed" people are perfectly health, just with shit lives that ultimately make them go to their doctors as an act of drug-seeking behavior.

Maybe it's the liturgy/rituals? I was obsessed with order and transcendence through it so I think that played a large part. Plus Russian lore has a heavy, decisive tone which I think ties in well with Manic Men. Women tend to get more flowery and lovey dovey from my limited experience. Men want to set the world to right in a blinding show of power and will.

I actually did come out of my depression, sucks to hear that though breh. Part of me thinks that maybe I'm a bit manic still but I've made real world progress that I can rely on to ground me. Still get a bit grandiose at times, never used to, but it's controllable and usually doesn't lead to any trouble if I stay away from alcohol.

What medications are you on?

I go through this, as well. I won't go into detail but I've done some really fucked up things because I feel invincible and no one will ever stop me. I don't feel remorseful but do have severe anxiety attacks at times.

What makes you think that I support this hell on earth? My offensiveness just wants to break through your stupid jail of fear. What makes you so special you special boy. Most of us have to deal with the same things as you. Maybe worse. But here and there some intelligent people can escape. If you are one of them depends on how honest you are with yourself and on the intelligence you can harvest out of your infested mind

Your description scares me because I think I came very close to that. The violence entered for me after the mania left though, because I was angry at everything not being beautiful anymore. I was reverting back to a normal state of mind i guess, or maybe just a depressed state of mind, and I became very physically and verbally violent to the people around me, which they forgave because of how I'd been in the preceding months(not including the random street fights I started)

I think you're probably right that it is a bad thing, and I know that rationally, but it was so meaningful that i can't help but want it to come back.

As for feeling more 'up' I have always been a mess of emotional elasticity as you put it, the mania just felt like the natural conclusion to how I have always been, ecstasy and beauty intertwined with extreme grief and fear in a weird medley of energy.

Now that I am trying to pick up the pieces of what I've ruined in the violent stage I am just not really sure where to turn

What was it like for you specifically in the stage when everything just started to come together, to click, or whatever?

Yes depression is real. So is ADHD and all the other things Cred Forums think do not exist. Who then turn around and say trannies are mentally ill. Classic Cred Forums.

Depression has observable physiological and psychological effects. Elderly individuals with depression will have symptoms very similar to Alzheimers. Some even get misdiagnosed. I'm using the elderly as an example because the effects are more pronounced, but similar problems with cognition, focus, motivation occur with younger people during a depression. Sometimes they are a response to life-events, in which case short-term treatment is a great option. Othertimes the depression is very deeply rooted.

ADHD is also very real. Depression and ADHD are the two most studied mental illnesses in medical science, and it many cases are linked. It is over-diagnosed in boys because they are naturally hyper, and whatnot, but it is severely under-diagnosed in girls because they present differently (primarily inattentive, rather than hyperactive).

>I was obsessed with order and transcendence through it so I think that played a large part.
Increasingly strange that you would say that because i wrote an entire philosophy in the past years which centered around Order and Meaning, where Meaning was essentially transcendence.

The sex dichotomy you have there I agree with but I have always identified with both, the flowery emotional stuff resonates strongly but sometimes I just want power and strength, embedded in some purpose.

What Russian literature are you referring to?

Depression is a legit medical issue caused by looking out your window and seeing hordes of niggers and muslim trash in your once beautiful and vibrant city

Nah it was gradual and correlated heavily with putting my energy into real world pursuits, effectively grounding me. This meant applying for jobs, volunteering etc. Of course I fucked up multiple times and applied for stuff I had no intention of doing, jobs I had no possibility of getting but eventually I just burnt out in a healthy way and sort of floated down to earth.

This was post hospitalization mind you so that gives you some idea of how bad it was before. I barely remember anything, just that I felt like the universe was flowing through me and I was seeing truth and meaning in everything. Part of me still believes this is true, I've become a lot more open to esotericism since going manic but I'm still able to keep myself grounded for the most part.

What kicked yours off? Mine was SSRIs ironically, started going up and up and basically triggered underlying bipolar illness.

Porn and fapping everyday in combination with 90% of your day being consumed by technology.
Reconnect with nature, work the fuck out, and stop watching the jew

Yeah the anxiety kind of suck from time to time. Try taking a benzo but only when shit hit the fan.

It wasn't specific Russian Literature, I was too hyperactive to read. More the liturgy, prayer rites I was in to. I got it into my head that I had been 'activated' by ancient Christianity by my actions and was destined to spread the true word of God, that I would be welcomed with open arms to any monastery.

A lot about order and meaning as well, something I still think about today. I was fixed on the idea that I could bring people to heel, to order through natures laws.

I suppose that ties into the emotional stuff but I never wanted to spread love, just natural order and truth. Nature was just an example of how beautiful and perfect things could be for humans but I didn't dwell on it, just used it as a guide. Strange stuff.

>mfw I've never actually fapped in my life
Maybe that's the cause of it all.

It can be both. On one hand, if your life consistently sucks you have every reason to be sad about it all the time. In this case, treating it as "depression" is a form of political oppression because you're being medicated for refusing to subscribe to the normative belief that everything is fine.

On the other hand, you will find that mental states correlate less with objective circumstances than with all kinds of fleeting conditions such as time of day, nutrient status and so on. In this case mood correction makes sense, although it's still better to treat the root cause rather than "idiopathic depression", which is a disgraceful diagnosis and a declaration of impotence by psychiatry practitioners pushing patented drugs and/or "therapy" (an exercise in suspending disbelief before a con artist who doesn't have the first idea about what she's doing).

Been there, but I tend to over-indulge and it brings out my true nut side so I stopped avout 6 months ago. I doubt any doctors can save me from myself.

>just that I felt like the universe was flowing through me and I was seeing truth and meaning in everything.
>Nature was just an example of how beautiful and perfect things could be for humans but I didn't dwell on it, just used it as a guid
that is essentially it

And I guess I am not as far down the road as you because that feeling still matters more to me than functioning properly, though I do try a bit, it is always beneath that need to find that ultimate meaning/truth thing.

I wish you well anyway, what you've said resonated extremely strongly with me it is nice to hear from someone who has had the same kind of experience, I hope things continue well for you

Was looking at this picture minutes ago, must be Kek's command to post it.

I feel pain all around my esophagus and my lower back. My legs are tense and I'm lactose intolerant so I can't eat anything tasty.

I haven't had a person to talk to in over 7 years. I'm gambling my life on being successful in college because I can't hold a minimum wage job to save my life.

I'm not exactly sure what you are doing.

Speaking of Kek, just found this little guy outside my back door. Sorry if you have to turn your monitor sideways to see.

That's honestly Amazon

нe caдкo, a китeж

Psychiatry puts the cart before the horse on this.
there is validity to the "chemical imbalance" from a certain perspective, but they only treat the symptom and ignore the cause. Worse yet, the treatments cause side effects which pile onto the situations that led to depression in the first place. Then, since the treatments "aren't working" they give you more drugs that cause worse side effects and your situation deteriorates even further. The worst is when they do it to kids, who don't have a concept of normalcy, who can be profoundly effected by the drugs during their developmental years, don't know how to properly speak up for themselves, and when they try its seen as "a symptom of the illness."

t. heavily medicated from age 10-20

Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple

Well done Spainbro. Plus your English is superb.

Likewise buddy. I'm a bit further down the road from you and I want you to know that you don't need to lose that feeling in it's entirety to function well, just save it so it doesn't take over.

But both memes are related, like spurdo and gondola

Depression is a symptom, not a disease.