Hourly Cred Forums humour thread

hourly Cred Forums humour thread

Other urls found in this thread:

nytimes.com/2016/09/19/world/europe/holocaust-survivors-aid.html?smid=tw-nytimesworld&smtyp=cur&_r=0
youtube.com/watch?v=zMGZtkMS3sQ
youtube.com/watch?v=sDT-_pTx8-s
youtube.com/watch?v=iRQ9A1vaXaw
youtube.com/watch?v=-5EDnYEl_OA
youtube.com/watch?v=Zlq0IMgGdlo
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

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hey I do this on Tinder too
Sometimes a real conversation forms and I make actual female friends

Befriending sluts is pretty nice. Fucking them is depressing though

why do jews have the biggest tits

In French it's "Abortion center" and "Neonatal services".

Hmmm. Are you sure it's not "abortions" and "maternity". I don't even speak French and I can translate better than you. KYS

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God this is not funny, this is just sad as fuck

Humans are not monogamous, they are possessive. When will normies understand? When will they learn from their hippie boomer parents' mistakes?

inbreeding

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They need to store all that inhaled air somewhere

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I love how Jewish the abortion doctor looks

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some people just don't know how bad something is until it happens directly to them. at least in this case she was literally asking for it.

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This will forever go down as the best rebuttal of all time

>D.Ndu
Holy shit haha

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Read this

You will pop a boner if white

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how can you be 25 and not have at least a little bit of life experience

maybe you really have to hit rock bottom at least once in your life

you are right

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>I'm a rabbit
top fucking kek

>having a family and comfy life is awful, I'd rather suck dirty cocks in hellholes

I can't even say that I disagree with this video or the underlying propaganda. It'd be truly awful if people like these would breed and become mothers.

>alt-right
checked

Lads, this one is a bit of a read but worth it.

>
>how can you be 25 and not have at least a little bit of life experience

She's a woman

> 165x960

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More like, the fakest shit faggots like you actually believe.

Even these slant-eyes can't squint hard enough to read that shit, Ahmed.

You're damn right it's funny. Silly bitch thought she would be getting action from all over the place, and it backfired on her massively.

Like other user said, bitch deserved it, and it's all her own fault.

Its real though

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Source or gtfo

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I think he artist done it intentionally. He was doxxed and exposed for drawing some happy merchant pictures and other stuff and was kicked from his college.

Lol

the* fucking auto correct doesn't turn off.

OK TIME TO LURE SOME AMERICANS

More sad than funny. Actually one of the more rational females I see shit posted from on Cred Forums. At least she accepts she did something wrong.

Although she really seems to be struggling to understand what exactly it is...

>struggling to understand
she's 100% clueless.

Any man who's not salivating over that video is low test.

does this continues??????

Divine.

She accepts she fucked up in some way at the end. That's more than I expect from crazy bitches these days. Only goes to show what shitty times these are...

>meal for one american.webm

quite a read

if you wouldn't eat that by yourself you are not a man.

kek apparently agrees. However..

I believe it is ego that causes this, and that because of ego white people are the simultaneously most compassionate, when convinced there is right and wrong they want to be the hero.

Thus is their weakness in the modern world.

CIA and FBI need to be switched around

Skin on the meat burned black. Enjoy your cancer.

t. fat fuck

it's smoked, not burnt.

to store their shekels

like with camel humps

>t. fat fuck

I'm 74 kg at 180cm, basically ottermode

Can confirm this still works.

Post screenshots.

>be me
>be practically a civil partner / unwed husband to a chick in terms of living together and pulling my weight
>be talking about getting married and kids
>go on a work related trip for 3 weeks
>on the day of return she says she cheated
>move out, meet some other chick on Tinder, shag her
>tell the first chick
>”but wuh did u do that? u did that to hurt muh feels! I fucked that guy because I don’t know why, it happened, but u cheated to hurt muh feels! u bad! u mean!”

She’s not struggling, it’s just how women think.

where is this i must eat there

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That's marinade, you faggot. Stick to chocolate making

I thought chinese girls respected husbands/boyfriends?

truly all is lost

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It’s not chocolate…

happened to burger girl in US

more Don

he never said it was

Yeah i know. But women struggle to think about these things at all.

eh thats just being mean.

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I love this one.

oh business as usual

carry on

>the last second

worth it lmao

>replace xanax with vitamin b

lol okay

just wanted to add, for any doubters, that is fully true and is something that happens in a lot of villages in romania and moldova

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We could save France right now

It's a cold ass world- niggas meme you in your sleep

How is that sad? That is fucking hilarious. It is good to know that some guys come out on top. He probably agreed only because he knew he had a girl lined up. Typically, these types of open relationships benefit the women more than their loser nu-male boyfriends. Fuck this bitch. Fucker her friend Michelle. This is yet another reason not to trust a GF who has slut friends. Slut friends will always push your GF to cheat. They do it to feel better about themselves.

Oh shit, and I thought why would they put a space in word “Therapist”. And why would every other village need a therapist? Suddenly it all became clear.

Damn i actually did

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>Guy had a girlfriend who wanted an open relationship, and now is pissed as fuck at him for taking advantage of it.
Does it sound like he came out on top? Sounds like he should have broken up with her the moment she mentioned open relationships. Now she's planning to lie to him about hearing about the fact that he slept with someone. Maybe he'll never find out she's lying and remain cuckold.

It feels sad for both of them. Hopefully they both break up and learn to know better next time.

True and true. I can’t believe I’ve seen an article in the Guardian the other day profiling several couples in open relationships (yes, I read Guardian for news, boo). Like, since when being a cuck became mainstream?

>meal for one
Fuck off limey, that's maybe half an appetizer.

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Lost

Lol wtf user

Blacks get way more abortions than whites, though.

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Enjoy being a pussy, faggot.

??
She iterates it right there in the text. She doesnt him fuckng other girls and she doesnt want to fuck other guys, but because of peer pressure she opened pandoras box.
Now she doesnt know how to close it

I really want to spread this around, but fuck doing it on my own platform

The salt lick in Austin Texas. Over rated.

JAPAN #1, TAIWAN #2, CHINA #4

HUNGRY

top kek, worth the reading

OP's pic is a bot.

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Thats funny

enjoy your cancer without the delicious meat

> I fucked that guy because I don’t know why, it happened,
Fucking this.
Women think "It just happened" is a fucking legitimate excuse for some insane reason.
>I don't know why I killed him judge, it just happened!

Anyone have a better resolution version of this?

Rank of preferable courses of action:
1. Know you can fuck another skank in your bitch girlfriends bed so do it. Then break up with her when she gets back.
2. Break up with her right away.

I agree that if he didn't break up with her when she got back from her trip, then opening up the relationship was a bad move. If he didn't have a girl lined up, which he obviously did, then breaking up with her right away would definitely have been the right move.

Women who do things like this deserve to be treated this way. Think about how selfish and stupid this cunt was. She deserved to get her heart torn out. Fuck her. I hope the boyfriend moved all her shit out while she was on vacation.

You bastard, I cannot find decent meat in decent sized portions anywhere in Moonland. A meal like that would cost $200+ easy.

>this one is a bit of a read
>165x960 pixels
>a bit of a read

>cant tell if this video is a parody or what feminists actually believe

This describes women perfectly. Good for you.

yes, that means we get to see those plates put together many more times

The video is from a song video.
Fuck men at the end is added later.

Fuck off coward kraut.

If your missus ever said she wanted to fuck other people I'm sure you'd line em up for her.

Faggot.

>The video is from a song video.

wow

fresh off the meme presses boys, enjoy

just had a new Tinder Match

what do I say?

Franklin's is better

>Traditional Texan meal.jpg

How do you call those music videos?

Prices are reasonable too.

Arr rook same

Delete your account

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hey baby, want to kill all humans?

“Howdy, neighboureeno!”

Who did 9/11?

>*what
come on gennaro you almost mastered the engrish language

OP's pic is why you only date virgins who have never had boyfriends.

You don't want a whore as the potential mother of your daughters, right?

The day I listen to a fucking German tell me what's funny is the day I start voting socialist

jesus fucking christ that looks so good

the beef if you pardon my pun, with American livestock is that often they're very fat
which means yes you get more meat on for example a rib, but you also have a thick layer of fat that kind of overwhelms the flavor
this is why often this is compensated with very dominant marinades and smoking
I still prefer European or South American raised livestock, but I guess that might be a matter of taste.

>virgins who have never had boyfriends

But it’s paedo, they must be, like, 12.

nytimes.com/2016/09/19/world/europe/holocaust-survivors-aid.html?smid=tw-nytimesworld&smtyp=cur&_r=0

There's a reason Texas is fat, how could you refuse food like this?

Being skinny in Texas is basically admitting you are a faggot.

Maybe for gook females who are highly promiscuous.

went for "who will win the US elections and why is it Trump?"
waiting for response

That food is healthy as shit. Good luck getting fat eating that everyday. Protein is filling as fuck.

Texas people are fat shits for eating cheap, carb filled garbage all day.

I don't see why a man would care about his daughters. They'll carry the name of their husband. Worry about your sons.

P O W E R K E K

op pic is talking to a bot that will then try to get op's phone number

This is a sandwich.

she’ll freak out because her children are black and muslim

Lmao holy shit

>Be German
>Wake up outside of apartment
>Muslims stole my apartment
>we deserved it. after all, we stole their culture
>decide to go to work
>boss tells me i'm fired for a hate crime.
>tried running away from a shooting, which was against the shooter's culture.
>I appropriated their culture. I deserve to be fired
>go back to apartment and girlfriend calls
>she says she was raped by a black man
>its alright, we needed more diversity.
>Get to a diner
>Get shot
>I went to a diner that was stolen from a black man. Of course I deserve to be shot

Wait for that whore to start getting closer to her 30's and realizes that she's not Chad's first nor second nor third option anymore.
That's when she'll be ready to "settle down" and some beta loser will be ready to put a ring on her finger.

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>but because of peer pressure she opened pandoras box.

That's what she says now dipshit, she didn't open the relationship because her slutty friend made her, is just the female dindu nuffin attitude shining through. They're literal children that can't own up for their actions.

She actually does admit it was her fault but still has to deflect some of the blame on to her friend who 'pressured her'. She made a selfish decision and it backfired, keks were had by all

Haha aw thats not nice shes not doing anything wrong

The only woman I've ever loved literally asked me to cuck her. She wanted an "open" relationship because of our age difference (I'm 19, she's 32) and she said she'd feel guilty to "lock me up" in a couple.
She said she'd never cheat on me and I was free to do anything. I left her anyway, it was too risky for me. Commitment and trust are the basis of any relationship.

I know I did the right thing but...

[spoiler]I still miss her so much.[/spoiler]

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lol she just slutting and he just shillin

youtube.com/watch?v=zMGZtkMS3sQ

This made me feel good. So good in fact, I've proceeded to make a spaghetti for dinner.

LIKE A MAMMA USED TA MAKE!

I hope a part two comes later.

>german flag
>humor

Real?

Fucking keen

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Not in France, that's the point. Only white women get abortion here, shitskins don't, because the more children they have, the more welfare they'll be collecting.

same...wowza
how do i import one?

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youtube.com/watch?v=sDT-_pTx8-s

KEK
This is like a mix of The Sopranos, Stand by Me and the typical tard stories you get on Cred Forums.

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this is just a survival technique for maintaining relationships and it will work for her.

Assuming her husband is a cuck.

But if her husband is smart he'll play the situation well.

>unironically quoting LE CANCER BITCH
>on anything
he was a liberal mouthpiece and apologist to the warmongering neo-con US elite.
I am glad he died of cancer

I'm with you... except for that bread...

What the fuck is with the white bread?

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did you make this? mind if i use part of the song in my youtube videos?

reminds me of the time I met some poo in loo called Gagendeep I asked him if it was his real name or his gay porn star name

guess I'll dump some

Eating cat is a zipperhead thing

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>dating a hold hag
Holy shit, you are pathetic.

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those slices of "bread" are beyond disgusting

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What's there to believe? Does she look happy in part of this video? Or do you autists not understand human facial expressions?

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>The left and the mainstream are different

Is that a joke

The correct course of action is to guilt trip her the whole time in hopes she won't fuck chad, while getting it in yourself.
When she comes home, you break up with her for ever even suggesting it, as there's no way to tell if she cheated or not.
She is open to the idea like its no big deal so forget her.

You forgot to mention that you have to wait 2 hours for the food. Instead of making a bigger place they would rather make it a tourist trap

is this real?

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Do those look like hood niggas to you, theyre fucking african muslims dummy

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i litterally read right wing, Cred Forums has taken me too far

SCREEN CAP THIS

This is going to be the over all theme of this season of South Park. We laugh but we know its fucked up and eventually the consequences for making really mean jokes will be bigger than we expect

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You would be surprised. I'm 29 and i have learned so much shit in the past five years that I can understand how a 25yo could know literally next to nothing about real life.

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Pee in the tea.

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I hope he get doxxed

kek

In North America.
Blacks in Europe are usually Muslim

old classic

Don't forget this gem... in the same category

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She literally fucks men.

top kek

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This one needs to be sent to liberal groups.

Doesn't matter, they're still women. This is part of their basic evolutionary programming. Women feel weak because they are, so they NEED a man to take care of them. You can't possibly understand this, because as a man, you feel at least somewhat capable of living alone. Women have terrible anxiety if they don't feel a man/multiple men ready to protect them at any given time.


They go crazy when they're alone, because evolutionary speaking, a lone (outcast) female would just fucking die. They're fucking incapable of surviving on their own, they NEED men. It's a primal fear to be alone, and it's a basic biological need for them to be part of a group. There's really no such thing as an "independent woman". Even the ones who pretend to be go crazy without men.

Except Germany DID shot itself

Part 2 where?

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I don't have to speak the language to know what it means..That's how far we've fallen.

This made me cringe, but it told me a lot.
First of all, it shows me that modern society is discontent with their present life and seek to rectify their discontent by finding a solution, but the search is folly because modern society is never content with life, as they are in constant struggle with capitalistic anxiety. Marxists and feminists chalk it up to "Patriarchy", when the clear message is that it has nothing to do with class struggle or inequality; it has to do with a self-serving expectation created by the capitalist system. The woman doesn't know what she wants because she doesn't know who she is or her role in society.

I once brought a butter knife to school. Teachers said "It's against the rules", but hey, atleast I wasn't drone striked like in the UK.

top kek

Pleas explain this one. I didn't sleep last night, and I'm confused.

I didn't laugh, user. We have a town rapist too. hopefully he goes out west as well.

Eww... Why is it so cooked?
It's like texans don't even enjoy meat.

How does everyone get time stamps in theres? I just screen shot it, and there's no time stamp.

>Qu'rans of the stone age
>mecca death

Top. Fucking. Kek.

I think that's just lighting bro.

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kek

Sorry it doesn't meet your Slovakian standards of buckwheat roasted over a tire fire.

First and only cunt.

Not saying it would be morally righteous, however technically they could be charged with rape by deception.

Some people can't survive hitting rock bottom.

>inb4, if you can't survive you deserve to die anyway

yeah, yeah I know faggot, we all fuckin' know.

damn that's so good

They are indeed disgusting though, amerishart.

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Also slathering their delicious moist cuts in shitty BBQ sauce and drinking a litre of Coke along with it.

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Roof hares are also traditional Germanic cuisine.. In times of hardship anyway. Quite a few cats got eaten in WWII..

you got this with more pixels? cant see shit

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WE

Thanks for the input Muhammad.

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>shes mexican
Why did I do this?

10/10

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>Did shot

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holy fuck

I forgot about king of the hill somehow.

Time to binge all day.

post the cyberpunk version

Preddy ebin

is that really montie? kek

I don't have many of them saved and quite a few aren't Cred Forums related, I guess pic related could pass as a depiction of the faggots shilling pewdiepie recently

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>I'll call him mohammed, that'll blast him lmao xD

Nice insult, must have taken a lot of practice in front of the mirror in your underwear.
Can I ask you a favor? Would you amerisharts please stop spreading your SJW bullshit and degeneracy throughout the world and call it "culture, that people should appreciate" ?
Would be really kind of you, John.

Thanks.
I'll totally respect the opinion of some Amerifat fuck. Girls my age are really intelligent and cultured like a 32yo woman would be, it's a known fact.

Kinda Ironic, isn't it?

To them it is though. They have no control over emotions.

> not for being able to recognize Hollywood music video acting when they see it
> calls others autistic

Flag checked.

I already fapped today...

at least there are no poo in loo jokes being made, that shit isn't funny

do you have the original trump pic?
with the text included

>at least there are no poo in loo jokes being made, that shit isn't funny
see

>translating words that exist in English and are spelled almost identically
This is like when somebody asked me what 'Médecins Sans Frontières' meant

>I'll call him mohammed, that'll blast him lmao xD
>it's ok when I spout off my opinions, but when others do it ITS BAD! XD111!1!!

>Can I ask you a favor? Would you amerisharts please stop spreading your SJW bullshit and degeneracy throughout the world and call it "culture, that people should appreciate" ?Would be really kind of you, John.

Sorry Mohammed, I didn't know it was America that was lead by Merkel killing Europe with their degeneracy of allowing millions of """refugees""" in.

Thanks for setting me straight with that beheading in the name of Islam.


>maybe you should be less focused on crying about America, though I know it's a European past time, and more focused on that refugee currently fucking your wife.

>2011
Wait...

Don't know. But there are bbc places have just have badge of white bread at each table.

>hourly
kek good one

I'm a little aroused. No, very.

Tinder has gifs now

I just searched "Build the wall and deport em all" and that one popped up

Here you go

>How does everyone get time stamps in theres? I just screen shot it, and there's no time stamp.

The time stamp is from Japanese TV if it's watched in a certain region where the cartoon variety tv show airing it places the time in the corner all morning.

That's why it's always generally stamped around the same time range of half an hour.

Some rips don't include the timezone cause they're ripped from a japanese region that airs it without this and the sponsor message at the end of episodes also changes "bando namkai!" or whatever.

That's the reason why the marxists and the jews started destroying western civilization with cultural marxism.
They would never manage to destroy white civilization by themselves throughout wars and such, so they realized they could only do that by destroying western society from within

Since the dawn of history, technology has been measured by how efficiently western people could manage to kill other people and not by "how small my eletronic device can be". Back when things worked like that it resulted in global subjugation and european hegemony across the world.

Cultural marxism kept western civilization from killing others. So western people suddenly forgot who they are, and we're living in the dark ages of modern mankind.

Once the west wakes up, things will get nasty.
Blacks and arabs always killed and always will kill each other, but they are not efficient, they don't manage to do it properly, they are technologic leechers.

The problem with western people is that they had become domesticated. They're all domesticated beasts, wasting their lives playing video-games instead of conquering the world. They're all wasting their lives in exchange for a jewish-driven lifestyle that pays off nothing.
They let themselves through that shit, and they refuse to realize it.
The jews were smart as fuck. They managed to get domesticated lions and bears.

But once something big happens, then I guess the west will finally break free from the spell and they will finally commit their lives to reaching greatness once again.
Well, I hope so.

>pepe is an acronym like ISIS

this can't be real.

>this behavior will turn out well
wtf does she even want or is she literally insane?
I would kill to be married to a hot girl and have my only responsibilities be washing dishes (dishwasher) and doing laundry (washing machine)

CIA didn't do Waco and Ruby ridge senpai.
The only people the cia kills is who their proxy forces like the Contras and Isis sorry "moderate rebels" kill.

that guys is far from hot

Why are Jews' noses so big?


Air is free.

To be fair, no one says sans outside of computers

Time for a holiday, I think.

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>Theres no way this is real

youtube.com/watch?v=iRQ9A1vaXaw
youtube.com/watch?v=-5EDnYEl_OA
youtube.com/watch?v=Zlq0IMgGdlo

legit loli pantyshots
>instant regret
>im probably on a list now

>>im probably on a list now
>uk flags

you were already

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Someone needs to edit CIA to CIAguy and give the speech bubble to him
Also add NSA that spies on all the beavers, owls and mice while Obama makes a speech on how infringing the rights of rabbits is unconstitutional and will hurt free society

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now I know why you guys are introvert.

>dating a junkie eleven years your senior and it doesn't go well

Well colour me surprised.

Sounds like storytime.

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kek i remember that thread

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Underrated

fresh 1/2

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Avort = Abort
Maternité = Maternity

Fucking retard

not only amusing, but amazing artwork

>dating drug addicts
Boy, never saw that one comming.

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Every fucking set of people on the planet fought around history.
Whites just got their hands on weaponry first.

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>Being Black
>Didn't do anything wrong

Where should i start if i wish to get into the 40k universe user?

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Quantum teleportation

source pol?

>just got their hands on
you say that like the weaponry just dropped out of the sky off the back of a passing asteroid.

We designed the weapons. And we created a society that could build them - do you have any idea how complex an industrial base needs to be before you can mass produce modern weapons?

You just want it to say "I'm CIA." don't you?

he literally believes in an elephant god with 6 arms.

Pick a faction you like, start reading. Eventually over 400 hours you will have the basics of all of them.

Protip: Chaos is the only true answer, Iron Warriors are pretty based.

This is a question /tg/ is better equipped to answer, but I'd say most of the 40k stuff written by Dan Abnett (excluding Horus Heresy)

Cringed hard

> Implying superminecraftkid isn't top tier shota

Disregard the first thing I said, read Armageddon by Aaron Dembski-Bowden.
It is literally about space crusaders fighting a planet wide war against sub humans.

saved

>how to make look the women even more like retarded sexual objets

disgusting

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