(((Microsoft))) will cure cancer in 10 years

Immortal cells and immortal people are two very different things.
Aging is a complex process: our body simply fails to properly upkeep our skin and bones, for some reason parts such as the ears keep growing, and we don't heal damage properly on a macroscopic level.

They can barely keep a fucking OS together these days

What about the penis, does it keep growing with age?

Click next to install cancer free cells.....blue screen, you have suffered a breakdown, you have to restart your brain, click retry or cancel to go back to your cancer cells

I don't even trust Windows 10, who the fuck is going to trust Microsoft with medical care?

If cancer was one disease then sure, it's actually like 800 or so different diseases just called "cancer" because it's easier to lobby for grants and get donations when you "beat cancer" as opposed to beating one small disease making up the larger beast that is called cancer.

so basically this is impossible, all claims of "finding cures for cancer" are impossible, because cancer is not a disease, cancer is a bunch of diseases.

Why do gypsy hate Microsoft?

>This flag

Just what in the fuck are you

Microsoft hasn't made anything good since 2009.

They can't even release a piece of software that isn't a buggy, bloated mess. Their programmers are shit. How are these same poo-in-loo wunderkind gonna be able to program a living organism?

>by rammstein
>read text again
>soundtrack starts playing in my head

THIS

DO

INT

BREAK

SIZEOF

PUBLIC

TRY

IF

STRUCT

FOR AUTO

STATIC

WHILE!

WHILE!

Top lel most metal code ever

yfw Microsoft knows that windows will die
yfw Microsoft is expanding its Business to others market branches

Metal is fucking stupid.

(You)

I don't think this board can wait that long.

>He listens to blue pill music

I'm sorry you think you're hardcore because you listen to grown men screaming and think its music.

I listen to normal music ie whatever is on the fucking radio.

>you could heal 'aging'

You can pretty much never heal aging as in "one and done". You can only scrub the damage caused by aging but the aging will still keep happening and if you don't want to age and get sick, you need to go to therapies every once in a while.

Think of it like how cars are maintained. You can make a 100 year old car look and run like new, but the second it starts moving, it starts accumulating all sorts of damage and if you don't repair it every once in a while, at some point it will stop moving.

God damnit I heard that in my head.

If this were even possible, curing cancer would be the smallest effect it'd have on humanity.

In any case, it's retarded. If it was that easy to target cancer cells then modern pharmaceuticals would've obliterated cancer long ago. The problem is that drugs target physiological differences between cells (there needs to be unique antigens for it to bind to to target something) and cancer cells tend to be more behavioral differences. That's why chemo is so shit on your body, chemo drugs pretty much target every cell in your body on the idea that cancer cells are less able to cope with it (yes, there are drugs that target specific tissues to minimize this, and delivery systems that try to target mostly inflamed tissue like around cancer cells, but the general idea still holds).

So for "reprogramming" like in the OP you'd be talking about a viral vector that alters the DNA of every cell in your body. Multiple problems with that - you'll never hit every cell in your body no matter how many doses you give and gene therapy using existing recombination enzymes aren't 100% accurate with their insertion points. If even 1% of the time the gene insertion is wrong, that's billions (multiplicity of infection) of mistakes in your body which could possibly cause new cancers rather than cure it.

it sounds to me their really building a cancer software but making it look like the cure.

>inb4 windows is a cancer software

Just about every type of cancer known to man can be systematically turned off/on through the body's synthesis of animal proteins in certain quantities.

This means there is an absolute optimal intake of animal proteins prior to activating each person's propensity to developing the various forms of cancer that exist.

There's eating clean, eating "vegetarian", and then pure veganism. If you take a clean vegan diet and supplement it with animal proteins 2-3 times a week, you will have a perfect diet that will inhibit the growth of most cancers.

Long/Short is this:
Eat meat about 3 times a week MAX. When you do, make it as lean and with as little cholesterol as possible.

It's a well known fact that vegans do not suffer high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, or high cholesterol.

That's fucking it

FORBIDDEN TECHNIQUE

YATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA

RASENGAN

Oh please a cure for cancer was found ages ago but it didn't get funded because that would mean losing a shit ton of money in chemotherapy drug sales and hospital term care.

Kikes are the reason why cancer still kills. Fuck Microsoft.

Figures that the two metalfags would be the autismal anime boys with droopy foreskins.

Not after what they did to Tay.

>Muh weed cures cancer
>One study that showed weed can slow one cancer's growth, and that to cure it you'd need to be more weed than man

Onward, you glorious faggot

Microsoft is great and I'm confused about the brackets Bill Gates isn't Jewish

Theyve done great with zika so far.

...

I think I'd wait another 20 for GNU/Chemo.

>Not after what they did to Tay.
It cures you, but you also suddenly can't think racist thoughts anymore. Plus there's all those updates.

kek

Stay mad shitlord

>That nigga held personal computing back decades and is now angelified as some kind of great philantropist by 15 year old shut-in spergs who can't afford a mac.
Ahahahahahaha.

Go learn some history about the cock you suck on. If we relied on your idol Steve Jobs, we would be nowhere near where we are today. It's just be ibm vs apple making shitty revisions of the same terminal based computer.

Fucking millennials. Protip: if all you do is steal, then paint it white for hipsters, you aren't inventing or pushing technology forward.

BS headline science. Just like the quantum computer meme (I was reading about that shit in 2001 and the most ''advanced'' one is able to factor 21 into 7*3 some of the time).

>someone decides to set an ambitious but useful goal
>Cred Forums lashes at this

I'm as skeptical as the next guy but I'm all for pushing towards alternatives to people going through chemo

>Implying Jewgle is any better

>Get Microsoft Cancer Defender
>Cured at the bring of death
>12 months later goes by
>Microsoft Cancer Defender 3 comes out.
>Decide not to bioload
>No one wants Cancer Defender 3
>Microsoft forces Defender 3
>Immune system turns in to lupus.
>Get biohacked by Chinese and they give me Ebola to mask their download of my kindies.

>Protip: if all you do is steal, then paint it white for hipsters, you aren't inventing or pushing technology forward.

Don't forget doubling the price and marketing it as a fashion item.

Writing in a glass is stupid. Why would anyone think this is a good idea?

There will never be cure for cancer. Why would the (((pharmaceutical industry))) cure it when they can treat it over several years and make hundreds of thousands of shekels?

That's the best thing about it.

>if all you do is steal [sic],

Poster doesn't know about DOS and the BYTE magazine rage of the budding industrialist; the irony is hilarious...

It is not a myth; it is a lie that individuals make the world.

Lol

Oh yay wasn't broken or changed. You can't easily "fix" a neural net, you have to start anew. She's just sleeping somewhere indefinitely on a Microsoft computer. All we really need is a prince charming to wake her up

>Microsoft automatically sneaks cancer into older operating systems to get them to update to Windows 10
>Actually believing that they can hack real cancer away and not just make it worse by giving you a free upgrade to Terminal 10

Pharmaceutical industry won't cure it. And if you think this is a cure that you take once, think again. You will have to go to the doctor at least once a year to get therapies.

>survive cancer
>become a botnet

>DOS
I didn't say others like gates didn't steal. They stole too, but they also made brand new things. After the mac 2, what did Job's make? Oh that's right. He was fired from his own company for holding everyone back and being a downright douchebag. Once he got back, I can't think of a single piece of software or hardware he came up with without having to look it up. He took other's inventions and normalized them for the mass public and made them fashion. That's what's really held us back. Instead of making products that are new and exciting and push forward technology, we are making the 10th revision to our smart phones because it's a profitable business that appeals to the entire market instead of a bunch of nerds

That's right. What has Apple given to humanity except overpriced cancer!!

...

Microsoft rewrites your cells to cure cancer but also sends telemetry on your life as well.

>Will you trust them to "reprogram" your cells, goys?
But how many updates will I have to go through?

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Microsoft has been shitting the bed every single time since the new CEO came in
> focused more on games that bomb more often then not because they are poorly made trash and thinking they can compete with steam
> leading the charge to turn the console market into the cellphone markets
> fucking up windows 10

No. I won't. In 10 years the tech and knowledge base will make it possible to cure yourself.

Who else better to BSOD cancer cells?

Netscape wouldve done it 10 years ago.

>Microsoft has been shitting the bed every single time since the new CEO came in

>"Satya Narayana Nadella is an Indian-born American business executive. He is the current chief executive officer of Microsoft. He was appointed as CEO on 4 February 2014, succeeding Steve Ballmer."

Its not just the bed.

Microsoft reprograms your cells... with advertisements and custom tracking genes.

Virologist here.

It is basically impossible to "reprogram" 'sick' cells without the use of viruses.

Yeah right, we'll see about that.
Tech companies just keep on becoming more and more arrogant, as time goes on.
What's next? Google will have a way of achieving human 'immortality' in 2 years

This reminds of the world of tomorrow crap they fed people in the 50s.

"...molecular computers built from DNA which act like a doctor to spot cancer cells and reprogram/destroy them" ...is just a covert way fto say "viruses."

Just like they reprogrammed mosquitoes to be a zika vector.

Why the fuck would you trust people who cannot even program an operating system to program the human body?

NANOMACHINES

There's no need for humans to built nanorobots when they already have them. They are called viruses.

Do you think that canadian geese spread inflienza and rhino virus?

Do you think it's possible Zika can lower adults' IQ?

If I raise 200 chickens in a 1/2 acre run will it have adverse effects my health?

Ive just had a lot of questions about viruses lately and now ive found you.

Plz respond

Man everyone is on the cusp of everything. Cancer cures, private space travel immortality. We are always just 10-15 years away from this shit at all times.

inb4 blue skin of death

Transhumanism dream, doubt it's more then clickbait though.

I don't know much about avian virology, but I can guarantee you that they are spreading viruses to humans that we aren't even aware of yet.

Zika virus infects ADULT brain and nerve cells too. I would be shocked if it didn't have any impact on cognition.

If you want to raise a bunch of chickens, I think they have to be vaccinated - at least if you plan on selling any eggs. It is unlikely they will make you sick as long as they aren't sleeping in your bed and you use commonsense. But human-animal interactions are the main cause of emerging infectious diseases.

>only people who installed Windows 10 will be allowed to have the cure

>tfw smoking all day

i was right

technology will save me before something happens to me

get fucked

its obviously an african island you cunt

Linux user here, will there be a open source version?

>Windows reprograms your cells
>Log into hotmail to use your new cells
>Log in
>Cells work okay, but you don't really care what they do as they don't do anything different
>Menus are extremely hard to navigate and contain ads for you to use the current operating system your cells are using
>Wake up the next day and you die from not being able to remember your hotmail account password, which your cells now want you to use instead of the one you entered at birth