PRE-MARKET WATCH THREAD

How can you tell? What are the signs to look for in a meltdown?

Also praise Kek

....It really doesn't work like that Ameribro

Do you realize the sheer amount of money that would be lost if that would happen let alone the amount of businesses that would go under and the lives that would be absolutely ruined.

I'm really hoping you're just being ignorant instead of this stupid.

Good luck m8.

I wish all my brothers good fortune, if Kek doesn't will a collapse today.

But I have a feeling tonight will be a disaster if the past few days signal anything....

M8 if the DOW dropped 8K in a day, I GUARANTEE you shit will hit the fan.

Regardless we're discussing the German bubble tonight.

+
>green ID

Kek has spoken

Pepe mentioned a 9% drop

Praize Kek

the dow is .5 percent right now barley clenching its anus

I am not worried, I don't trust paper, gold, or silver, only lead, liquor and food.
youtube.com/watch?v=SPm8UZodIEU

SHEMITA

we were off by one fucking year

Nothing will happen today lads

>777
>AGAIN
>LIKE THE LAST THREAD I MADE

KEK HAS SPOKEN

just wait till 1230 pacific time, shit is going to fucking fly

>888
IT KEEPS HAPPENING

KEK IS LITERALLY HERE!!!!!!!

AHHH

KEK PLEASE THIS IS OVERWHELMING

1200 my bad

Finally the time is upon us :)

A highly reputable source sent me an email today, warning about a SEPTEMBER 30TH DATE set by the IMF to replace USD as the international trade currency with a "World Currency"

Time to buy up gold....

Stop your habbenings until DB is under 10.00.

Literally nothing will happen before

>gold
>not guns

Dump roach

Should I withdraw from my bank account?

checked

MANIFEST THE CHAOS

I wonder what the markets will be like the next day after trump wins? Im guessing (((billionaires))) crashing the market to punish the goyim for picking wrong.

what am I looking for when the market opens lads? I have no idea what a happening looks like but I'm ready to get comfy.

FINALLY

we haven't had one of these threads in nearly a year

time to get /comfy/

...

even if DB loses 2-3% a day, they have little more than a month left

Even if there is a major crash (which is unlikely) the system will not change. It is too deeply ingrained now and no one understands the real problem. The only people who will suffer are the workers and the industry. The banks will be fine like always. This is nothing to be excited about.

>chimpout
>market crash
thanks kek

I'm gonna need to buy some dollaridoos in these days. Should i wait for a happening to crash their price?

Looks like they might pull the plug at the end of the Jubilee.

The repeating digits are manifesting

GET /COMFY/ LADS

oh boy that time magazine was correct the phoenix is the new world currency.

Everyone give me solid evidence that this is a happening and why i shouldn't laugh at you.

Nah m8. The culling is only about to begin. The jubilee wasnt taken into account with the shemitah

sit on a pointy rockbusinessinsider.com/the-risk-of-a-us-recession-according-to-deutsche-bank-2016-9

fed meeting is in 12 hours

Does this look "healthy" to you?

They ain't solvent famalam. They're having problems paying their debts, and this means that people will pull out until the bank is bust

It's always been on a downwards trend since 08 what the fuck is this shit? And so what if a bank croaks, what does it mean?

How are other European banks doing? Italy is fucked I heard... Monte dei paschi is down like 8%, can this trigger the DB?

OH MMMYYYYYY

I'm so aroused right now.

what do i do tho

>dwq4do82y8xi7.cloudfront.net/chart/?symbol=CHXEUR:DBKD
also why the fuck do you not just link the normal website
tradingview.com/chart/?symbol=CHXEUR:DBKD

europe fucking explodes setting off chain reaction to banks all countries immediately collapse, reminder markets open at 12:00 pacific time

>so what if 74 trillion dollars go *poof*

THE SUPER SHEMITAH.

Any thoughts on Jewish holidays effecting the stock markets? Considering like 40% of the worlds billionaires are jews.

So when do the markets open?

What a giant assumption

IMF does their kike shit and makes Europeans pay for it an as usual they don't care they are further enslaved

Sorry I was logging in

S H O R T
H
O
R
T

It won't.
It'll be bailed out if it does.

I'll buy it fodr you

WOT germany holds all the banks together literally the top jew, germany is the most valuable country in europe.

Where should I put my money?

I have 14k$ in a people's trust fcu account and no IRA

APPROXIMATELY 1 HOUR

GET HYPED

AND PRAISE KEK

Rolling happening doubles, if singles nothing will happen.

My paypal account

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR? WHAT DO I INVEST IN?

Invest? You pull out everything and sit on cash until the smoke clears

There has been enough digits in this thread.
The happening is already confirmed.

shitcoin or play russian roulette with the yen and hold or convert yens to yuans cause china is getting a new gold backed currency, or get gold/sliver

Sorry m87, I don't let my secrets out.

You're on your own or talk to /biz/

im fucking 19 wtf do i do

>Is straya ripped?

cuz i have no money already

or nothing, i would suggest nothing bro this is getting fucking risky the world is literally collapsing.

Oh shit i just noticed you're that shiro poster

And some Jew told me "shit's crashing goy" like a week ago guess he was right

I wonder where that guy is, he's usually on Cred Forums giving tips to the goys

hyperinflation is going to happen, if you do nothing you lose

France 30years ago created a special fund in gold (fed with taxes) to prevent any bank from crashing so any client would get his money back up to 40.000€. Do other countries got this system ?

>shits crashing goy

Our economy consists of people who are already rich enough to own a house buying more houses and hoping someone else will buy it off them for even more money down the track

Thank you, that's very sweet.

Nothing will happen, you can go to sleep now.

Yeah, we are protected up to 250,000 I think

US is a fucking timebomb, we have nothing

It's going to be like the Cyprus bank crisis but on a much bigger scale

how is my investments? I got my dust for free.

Sit back and listen to this lad.

Trust me, you won't regret it, I'm the best namefag on this board.

youtu.be/9LD3NKlS55g

Depositor's insurance doesn't fix all the other problems this creates...

>my parents in a nutshell

nothing will happen you're all faggots

Cash out your didgeridoos and invest in Kangaroo or Koala ETFs.

...

Can't wait for it all to burn and for the people to fucking WAKE UP.

nothing is a strong word.

>tfw the only investment you have is a hatchet, a machete, and some carpentey material

what can we do at a time like this, everything is fucked.

...

Hold cash, invest after crash is the simple way.
Shorting some cyclical goods stocks if you want to gamble.

It's OK, you can just machete those who have what you need

Be like the Samurai or Cossack. Meditate on death. Pray.
Or drink lol
Or not cause alcohol might be useful in the future

Even that wouldn't happen
Trading would stop as soon as the market breaker trips
>Dow dropped 508 points in 1987 after 22% drop

>Under the revised rules approved by the SEC in 2012, market-wide circuit breakers kick in when the S&P 500 Index drops 7 percent (Level 1), 13 percent (Level 2), and 20 percent (Level 3) from the prior day's close.

> market decline that triggers a Level 1 or Level 2 circuit breaker before 3:25 p.m. will halt market-wide trading for 15 minutes, while a similar market decline "at or after" 3:25 p.m. will not halt market-wide trading.

Sooooo is it happening goyi....I mean guys?

Honest question, how soon are we from the happening and what should I do to prioritize being ready?

I'm unemployed at the moment so my household is living off of one income, I have 700 dollars to try and make last until I'm employed again but 300 of that would involve maxing my credit cards.

Basically if I'd get a firearm/ammo/knives/boots/ect... I'd be going all in that it's happening and very soon and that it will be THE happening.

Luckily my wife also believes in happenings and feels like shit will hit the fan soon but I'd look like a lunatic if I'm wrong about this.

This is the beginning of a slow slide into an economic crash far worse than the 1930s. I'm telling you guys to buy silver, because I don't want to see you suffering. Nobody will listen to me, not my friends or family. BUY FUCKING SILVER AND SILVER MINING STOCKS.

Also sharpened it to the point that I can shave with it
And learned how to strike the way the cossacks did, since the machete is loosely related to the shashka.
Feels????

...

>It's OK, you can just machete those who have what you need

i have a 1oz sliver ring, and a couple sliver coins the ring has black tourmaline in it, how fucked am i

Why was there a fucking crab in his ear holy shit, did it think it was a shell?

Just silver, no gold? and is the best way to buy the 1oz coins and store them in your own safe?

Also, what's the best place to buy from? These guys seem to have pretty good reviews regalassets.com/

I don't mean dinky ass jewelry pieces. I'm telling you that you need to take as much money as possible out of your bank accounts, out of your shitty investments, out of everything and buy silver. As much as you can. Banks are going to close, and people who keep shot there are just gonna be so fucked. I hate even thinking about it.

That was a spider

>crab
I thought you aussies were supposed to be good at identifying creepy crawlies.

Jumping spider, straya.

Jumping spider.

42 minutes till we find out right?

Silvers gonna go bigger than gold. Stocks, ingots, or coins, it doesn't matter, but stocks are gonna go bigger. I get my silver from my own guy at a nearby pawn shop, you'll have to source your own. It's getting hard to find, just another sign of the crash coming.

Don't freak out and go all out. Buy a little at a time, and do it on the down low. Focus more on your finances rather than using your meager 700 on stupid SHTF shit. Eventually Cred Forums will be right about this though.

gold or silver but silver is much cheaper while having relatively the same amount of volitlity

Correct, go make something tasty to eat so you can be full /comfy/ when it opens.

yes and no it doesnt just happen it slowly opens and then goes full ass rape city
tradingeconomics.com/dbk:gr

here take a chart when it opens

Thanks
Yeah, I meant when german markets open

>Fucking Terrifying 2

Where's Fucking Terrifying 1, user?

this is what is in the box.

See that's the thing though, if it DOES happen what do I do, I'm completely screwed and I'd have no way to have even effective knifes for survival.

All I'd have for hunting and self defense is a baseball bat and kitchen utensils.

I'd be SOL

R8 my tas-T

Check this 1 out

Why on earth would it crash today? It will crash in maybe a year or 2, why today specifically? Did I miss something?

...

I have the sr-71 or whatever tf its called survival manual pdf

Lol I posted this in a completely different forum and nobody believed me. They know I'm leftist. Is a derivatives-shitstorm a brewin' mateys?

Noice unbacked currency you've got stacked up there, that'll do ya good. Buy silver.

Looks breddy gud m8

Thats a tiny snake wtf lol, must have hatched its eggers in there

those are 1940's nickles mate. they are made of silver.

>#JustAustralianThings

Deutsche Bank is the next Lehman Brothers, signalling a massive market crash.

Fuck yes it is, get hype.

Good. Buy more.

Thx mang, all homemade, forgot to make a sliver in the top of the dough before baking, but came out well anyway

>Implying that the EZB won't just buy millions of DB stocks to push the share value up.

keked

its been like 2 hours nothing has happened

There's a shop near me, but is there any way to verify that it's real/pure?

I guess I have more faith in it than a bank anyway but I just don't know what to look for

for the last time lol markets open in 30 minutes

>collateralizing loans

I'd give it a year tops before its all over. These are the death throws, this is the tell tale signs of the end, just buying time now

>Hillary Clinton woos Sanders supporters.webm

Read the thread for the love of Kek.

Do I have to baby sit you?

Can confirm.

ITT: Retards get spooked and waste their money on silver garbage

...

take a magnet and try using it on the sliver, if it doesnt stick you have a high chance of a mix of sliver and something else.

yes, but literally nothing will happen today, tomorrow, next month, or even next year.
They will just sell shares at a discount to boost the share price, because people will be competing to make money. Then it will eventually be bailed out.
It will only crash if the euro starts to tumble really fast.

SR-71 is a plane O_o

I did.

If all you have is 700, you're screwed no matter what. Focus on getting a new job before stocking up, you still have time don't let Cred Forums convince you it's going to be Fallout: Mad Max 4 Deutsche Bank Boogaloo tomorrow morning all over the planet.

Dangit

I only spend money on lead sorry you can't have the same.

>work meeting at 7am EST
>Want to stay up to see if anything happens

What do

my bad, im sorry guys i love you

At least one guy who understands whats happening.

Ding dong the bitch is dead. The stupid fucking 400 year old right wing Peasant morons might finally see

Fm 21 76 manual

I dont do much fishing though

Habbenings don't habben in a day. Banks crash, governments with no money print to bail them out, repeat until currencies collapse. Bam, a perfect recipe for economic disaster.

Tbh I don't know shit about that. Like I said I've got my own guy who I really trust, he's the person who knows his silver.

Nothings going to happen, go to work...

y-you too

>oy vey nothing is happening goys just slide it

(you)

just wait for an hour damn

Wouldn't shit have to hit the fan before November though to suspend elections?

Like my reality is warped thanks to Cred Forums and the red pill that I have no idea what to actually believe.

>stamped penies
I love those things

Imagine if in 20 minutes it tanks and by 12 hours from now the reichtangle returns or some shif

>block of silver and coins

>shit desk
>craptop

"priorities.exe has stopped working"

Right? fucking worth more than the pennies they are printed on.

Thank you very much! I might pick up a physical copy.

Are you honestly retarded? The share price has been going down for years, why the fuck would the economy just go to shit because someone posted a green frog and got some repeating digits?
Honestly, if I missed something huge earlier, then let me know.

Dude, that is a fucking fantastic laptop.
The desk was free, so I don't care.

the red pill is mostly true, but there are threads exactly like this one EVERY SINGLE FUCKING WEEK for the past decade. Don't let it spook you into retardation.

Why do you still have any faith in this piece of garbage sewer system called capitalism

not an argument.

>Laptop
>fantastic
nice meme

xDXDXXSAZDXSAZSXZCZ

>33

Praise.

Not with share buybacks anyways. All money is fake. There's either a reckoning behind that or there isnt

It is a n75sf you fucking pleb, has a Gt 555 in it.

if i cut your head off thats simply the size you where as a kid and it would simply grow back in a few years

It was supposed to tank back in 07-08, but they kicked it down the road, now those chickens are coming home to roost.

Except it is an argument, you clearly haven't got any evidence or even any intelligence on the markets, so you resort to post jew memes. Nice.

It is not about not having faith, it is about having the common sense to realise that 70 trillion is not just going to disappear, not until all other avenues have been exhausted. The Deutsche Bank will not collapse for years.

22 MINUTES LEFT

GET YOUR SNACKS READY LADS.

No bullshit, this happened to me.

>be volunteering at anime con
>given floor as crash space
>work hard
>crash out
>ear is bleeding and hurts
>fuckit
>finish up last day
>can feel.something crawlimg in my ear
>go to hospital
>doctor sticks scope in my ear
>WELL THEN
>few drops in ear and it exits

Never ever sleep on a floor at a hotel.

Why did we ever let a single right wing politician put their hands on money

The economy won't tank because of one bank, that'd be retarded. But what if all the world's banks were doing the exact same bullshit, and Deutsche Bank happens to be the first to fail, signalling the end for many other banks? That's what's happening here.

In 08 they sold something like 30%, of their shares at a ridiculous discount, they will just do the same again, and again, until they can no longer survive as a bank.

The ratio of global gdp to only global derivatives debt (and these haven't even shown up yet on debt sheets) is 1:3

Right wing, Left wing it doesn't matter when in the back rooms they agree with each other.

still a laptop tho

OP is a Jew trying to scare poor anons into doing stupid shit with their monies.

What a fucking dumb penguin

Typical response. Christ was a certain way. We lie. Make nations. Get "enlightened AGAIN". Fuck up. Fuck up some more. And if we all howl innawoods we can thank Repuuuubes

What insect was it? My buddy got a moth stuck in his ear for 12 hours constantly fluttering against his eardrum until they got it pulled out

Well in Australia you have to wear earplugs in some places cuz its like 80% chance you get one in there

why are you angry brit bro.

Wait, did you still want the pdf, or are u good
You should be able to find it online

DB will not be the catalyst for a market crash if one happens today. It's going to be from the Feds if they announce a surprise rate hike after their meeting.

I know, but I wanted a glock instead tho.

Right wing, left wing, it doesn't matter when either side is now complete shit and won't look out for your best interests. Not in America or Canada anyways.

Shit.

You caught me.

I'm invested in every single store on earth

(You)

Ok Bibi!

Don't know why I even replied to a leaf. Keep thinking left and right are the things that really matter, when you end up having to eat rats and cats in order to not starve.

Maybe memes are quick bandaid fix alls that i can use for any siuation

Btw, daily reminder you can find yeast on grapes if you need a way to leaven bread if they stop selling it

That's a nice water pistol how many Milliliters it hold?

Is this the pdf?

geenstijl.nl/archives/images/fm_21-76_us_army_survival_manual.pdf

I was leaning towards a physical copy just in case I need it on the go and because I don't have a kindle + a dead battery is useless innawoods.

Yeah and guess who stood up and said you're fucking crazy bankers and we need to watch you. Us. Who shat their pants. You. Then. And now. What the right wants is impossible. What the left wants is almost impossible

A fucking idiot

So what happens if it drops below 10?

Also vaginas

europes asshole blows open

how is euro still stable?

Hrm...

Pretty sure
You could print it out if you're desperate
I'm slav so I make all my stuff by hand.
I even have some leather I sliced from an old couch, could bind those papers up real nice

If it's coins you can easily tell by the resonance when you tap them with another metal. Even 90% silver has a distinct sing to it. Other than that, but from a reputable place.

10

jewish magic

thanks to brexit its really not stable at all.

THE CHICKENS NEVER FULLY COME HOME

KICKING THE CAN WILL BE ENDLESS AS LONG AS THE ESTABLISHMENT HAS MAJORITY STAKE IN THE FINANCIAL SYSTEM

THEY MAKE THE RULES AND BEND THEM WHEN THEY HAVE TO

This tbqh fampai

Leaf me alone!

Really causes my neurons to form action potentials at the axon hillock via the result of the summation of excitatory and inhibitory post-synaptic potentials that was equal to or greater than the threshold potential, leading to the depolarization of the axon by the opening of voltage-gated channels that passively diffused ions down their concentration gradient leading to the release of neurotransmitters at the synapse to stimulate in accord with long term potentiation pathways developed through the release of seratonin at key moments of sensory input.

But they worship lucifer so they don't care to preserve anybody else

Awesome!, I saw it's only like 8 dollars from amazon so it's worth it imo.

>bringing up survival
>has all this fresh pasta
Desu I think you'll be okay

it looks like shit

THEY'RE NOT TAKING DOWN THEIR METHOD OF WEALTH MULTIPLICATION AND MARKET CONTROL JUST TO WATCH THE WORLD BURN

TOTAL COLLAPSE WILL NEVER HAPPEN

Except that they can't kick the can anymore. We aren't in some fucking conspiracy theory world where everythings being controlled by some higher power. Banks and governments fucked up big time and now we'll all pay the price.

Probably nothing, they will sell more shares at a discount to keep their prices stable for a while, until they figure out how to bail them out

T MINUS 10 MINUTES

Forgot to oil cake pan, got messed up
Feels bad

Is it really coming or will Fed save investors again?

It'll come eventually. Not today.

...

I have 50K to invest how can I make money?

I will donate 10% of my earnings to Trump

Silver mining stocks.

5 MINUTES

Commodities

Its funny because you can tell thats happened more than once

To the right to the right

Fuck, where do I find my ssn again

rare pokemon cards

I'M NOT READY

PENGED

i dont even know what im watching or understand any of it but k

Let go of the idea of profit. Once you spend it you'll regret it. Gold included. Make your own shit and save your fiat moni

This tbqh. The economy is too propped up nowadays to go full on crash mode. Until the stimulus bubble bursts, there'll be no happening.

Guys nothing will happen. Continue playing on the carpet.

3 MINUTES
>3 MINUTES
3 MINUTES
>3 MINUTES

>murkans

PLS

MERCY

oh fug :DDDDDD

T-MINUS 1 MINUTE

***1 MINUTE LEFT***

TWO
MINUTES
TO MIDNIGHT

1 MINUTE GOYIM

LIN?? WTF AM I WATCHING

Here we go anons

Posting before meltdown.

What's the "oh shit we're fucked" stock number

youtu.be/9qbRHY1l0vc

>implying anything is going to happen

It'll be up

CRASHING THIS ECONOMY

WITH NO SURVIVORS

Deutsche Bank stock

We're all insane

can someone reccomend me a good knife? multipurpose, my budget is around ~150-200usd

I HAVE TO PEE

oh fugg whats habbening.

Burn it down... :^)

*****1 MINUS T MINUTES LEFT*******

>mfw loud weather warning pops on TV as 3 am hits

JESUS THAT SCARED ME

LETS GOOOOOO

WHATS HAPPENING?
AM I IN CHARGE HERE?
SOMEBODY LINK SOMETHING I SHOULD BE LOOKING AT AND FREAKING OUT ABOUT.

MIDNIGHT MIDNIGHT MIDNIGHT

youtube.com/watch?v=KH5He9TW0mE

Nothing happened

OP'S LINK FGT
WELCOME TO THE H E L L Z O N E

Hey Cred Forums let's save DB :-D

Everyone BUY! :)

i think this tradingeconomics.com/DBK:GR

Definitely do not invest in property, miners, oil companies, or any banks.

I assume you're talking about making money if the euro fails (Deutsche Bank collaspe), then I strongly suggest investing is the USDollar, as people will stop investing in European countries, and start investing in America. The same thing can be done with Sterling, or Shekel, as they will probably both profit from a euro collapse.

You also might want to invest in German government bonds, as people will invest in them if the euro starts to fail.

Remember, only invest what you can afford to lose.

lol me too, I'm gonna get up to piss and hopefully come back to something exciting

Can I have a link where I can see the opening/DB stock numbers, thanks

Damn nature, you scary!

it's gonna go up, fags

Anyone?

Offering pic in return

Where can I buy dragon dildos?

It's a standstill

fuck me I knew this was gonna happen. Every since I heard about them financing with CoCo's I fucking knew they were fucked. Especially when they started that buyback shit. DuecheBank is fucked, it might not happen tonight but anyone with a brain who has been following finance knows this. What is really gonna be interesting is when the Italian crisis happens. Bad debt is gonna unglue Merkel's fat ass from her chair and probably trigger a ECB bailout, which means she is gonna get voted out and Italy will leave EU, followed by France.

If any anons have questions I am in finance and have been following this stuff for a while and am taking a break from work

ITS CRASHING. GERMANY IS FUCKED BUY GOLD AND GET OUT NOW!

GFC 2.0 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO IS UPON US.

USDs going to crash, better invest now!

quotes.wsj.com/XE/DBK

SHIET

pls buy my bananas
I need the money

HOLY SHIT IT'S STARTING TO DROP MAN ITS CRASHINGLE HOLY FUXK..!!!

Did we start the fire?

Its starting to fall bois

(0.41)
Sheeeeeeeit

SHE'S BEGINNING TO DROP

***REMEMBER TO USE THE JEWISH GRAPH IT'S THE MOST UP-TO-DATE ***

Nothing is happening...
Is it...?

why would the USD crash?

...

>Its starting to fall bois

Link to watch it fall please?

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

what link are you using? mine is not working

DOWN 4% IN FIVE MINUTES

tradingeconomics.com/DBK:GR

Printing the shit out of it.

...

dwq4do82y8xi7.cloudfront.net/chart/?symbol=CHXEUR:DBKD

make sure you pick DAX

New bread

KABAR, available anywhere for about $80. It's a fixed blade and pretty big though, so if you're looking for a pocket knife try SOG

>Google
>ETR data delayed 15 mins
Where can I see the happening in real time?

It's not falling.

I don't make threads, leaf.

Are you fucked

NEW THREAD

>UK leaving EU
>German market crashing
>Sweden attempting to hold up the entire union by itself

Can't wait, lads.

soo nothing happened?

Daily reminder that the only thing stopping EU banks from bailing out Deutsche Bank is EU laws, who basically owns the EU? Germany. Dass rite, they're gonna break the rules and use taxpayers money to fix this.

Yeah you're not high up enough in the jidf hierarchy

anybody new thread?

IT OPENED GAPPED UP, JUST CLOSING THE GAP

Soo shut the fuck up because what the fuck kind of post is this

...

Nothing is happening.

FAKE AND GAY OP

To what extent do you think this will affect us ameribros?

But on the pro-side, this will crash the EU, as many people will become Eurosceptic

...

Give it time. I misread a shitty sauce but is it green right now? No. Rrrrrrrred and only just beginning methinks

DAX Germany +102.57 +0.99% 10,496.43 3:02am ET

wew

what's going on

T minus 7 minutes

you'd better be right user

...

If you balance a silver coin (90% or more) on the tip of your finger and gently strike it it will ring clear like a tiny bell.

Base metal coins will just go 'tonk.'

what about a 10oz bar?

MArket volatility is due to fed meeting and the quadruple-witching last week.

>tfw trading options
>mfw buying SPX strangle

Isn't there some kind of Kangaroo-Koala ETF straddle one could do?

>having so little gold that you can lift it
OK

>silver
It even says so on the god damned bar.