Jokes thread

What separate men from animals ?
The Mediterranean sea.

>Brit joking about cuisine
kek

Top this joke anons:
>Sweden

Shut the fuck up nigger go flood your kidneys with more alcohol. I'll be happy if you animals never get citizenship here again fucking scum of the earth

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

nothing. she was told twice already

You go gurl !

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, feminists can't change anything

Here's a knee slapper for ya: Emus.

What was that?

>Assblasted this hard by a Lithuanian

How about the non country that got fucked in the ass by Germany, then fucked in the ass by russia, then fucked in the ass by women with their 1.3 birth rate.

Poland the cuntry that looks good because all other countries around it are on the verge of collapse.

Also you're killing off all the last European bison.

>forgetting when Poo in Loo drove your whole country off of this board last year

Go shit down your mother's throat and masterbate to the wheel for the fifth time today you brown abomination.

Nah, it's this line

Another joke:
>60%

No we're much closer to 50% white

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?
None.

Do you guys remember your first blow job?

Did you hear about the gay magician?
He always disappeared with a poof at the end of his show.

How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

Here's mine Cred Forums. Literally killed a jew on my voice recording. Dank af

all kikes must burn

vocaroo.com/i/s0zrnncfgzUw

What's the similarity between a pulse and an orgasm? I don't care if she's got one.
Am i part of the gang?

how about Korean war burger? You couldn't take whole Korean Peninsula while fighting against shit tier chink hordes during conventional warfare. Burgers never won a decent war against your level opponent ever and if you did fight strong enemy then you would be late in the show.

How do you pick up a hot Jewish girl?
With a dustpan

How do you pick up a hot Jewish girl?
Trick question. Hot Jews don't exist.

want to hear a joke? USA has culture.

I'm sorry Truman was a bitch and relieved MacArthur who would have fucked the Chinese and the North Koreans

You have to consider that all recent american wars have been an ocean away from their country, also you answered your own post by saying "hordes"

Lithuania and its "famed" culture of suicide

Holy shit 51 to 8.4, didn't realize it was that bad.

actually men with wives live longer than single men.

...

It's a great filter to drive away newfags. Don't stop.

>post your jokes Cred Forums

At least they didnt lose a war against some birds

>masterbate
>American education

Meanwhile you are killing yourself with food.

>Icelandic
>considering Poles civilised
Swede on holiday detected.

> What's the difference between niggers and onions?
< Slicing up niggers doesn't make you cry.

> How to kill 12 flies with one swing?
< Hit nigger in the head with a shovel.

> Do you know what a strobe light is?
< A nigger walking on the crosswalk at night.

> Why do niggers wear white gloves in the theater?
< So they know where the liquorice ends.

brice of freedom :DDD

What's going on in Guyana?

What did the nazi commandant yell at the top of his lungs as he prepared to unload into a jewish boy?

I will put my final solution in your gaschamber!

Thanks to us in medieval ages, pope armies were defeated and process of reformation began. Now what was relevance of aussie boganland in in past few hundred years?

i don't understand the jew one

Why do Jews watch porn backwards? Because they love that part when the hooker gives the money back.

Is this a new nuclear family?[spoiler]Because it would be the blast if they will run towards each other fast enough.[/spoiler]

> THIS SWEDEN TV KEK AD

Spelling bee champions and skydiving enthusiasts, atleast that's what all your professionally made identical resumes say.

>This thread
>Lithuania getting BTFO with every bant it tries
My sides

Whats the difference between a school full of syrian children and an ISIS training camp?
>I don't know, I just fly the drone

What's the difference between a nigger that got run over and a dog that got run over?
>the dog has break marks leading up to it
(You can make the same joke about french people on a sidewalk in Nice)

What do you call a barn full of niggers?
>Antique farm equipment

Why are jewish men circumcised?
>jewish women wont touch anything that isn't 20% off.

Where the fuck is Lithuania anyway? Isn't it some small town in Russia?

Pasta enjoy your French tier performance in 1st and 2ond world wars.

Somewhere in the baltic, so the even less relevant eastern bloc

They're both jew ones
No wonder you don't understand

Oh yeah how to forget the mighty Lithuanian forces

BTFO where?

You know what the heterosexual one has got.....?

Values.

This a a joke that I heard from a boss at a former job

>"What separetes humans from the animal kingdom?"

I don't know

>"The mediterranean sea"

Europe = mankind
Africa = the animal kingdom

jealous much?

How come Lithuanian male suicide is 4 highest in the world but Lithuanian female suicide is only 29 highest in the world?

How do you fit 4 Germans and 40 jews in a car?

The Germans go on the seats and the jews go on the ashtray

I don't think Italians would ever have to be jealous for you Lithuanians.

It's not like they actually have some culture or anything. /s

1386-1434

Living in the past?

How did you manage to lose 90% of it?

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4.

my fucking sides

Tram has stopped on the rails
Bleeding jew between its wheels
Jews jews its always the jews

It is a song in russian about jews I just tried to translate it

Boт тpaмвaй нa peльcaх вcтaл
Пoд тpaмвaй eвpeй пoпaл
Eвpeи eвpeи кpyгoм oдни eвpeи.

Also what is picrelated?
Niggers stealing coal in the night.

xD

how did you managed to be non country controlled by foreign powers during medieval times?

Shit I meant the second one you nip

What's the common point between spinach and sodomy ?

Even with butter, children don't like it.

Ash goes up a chimney

Barbarians, you?

All the men in their army committed suicide

Ok that makes sense, thanks

Two jews talking
Wow that's great new jacket you're wearing!
Like it? My dad sold it to me with discount when he was dying.

A woman walked into a Chicago Department store, and asked a clerk for a 'lady train'.

So the clerk gave her a miscarriage.

How long does it take a black woman to do a shit?

9 months.

at least I am not going to have 100% non white future.

Better than loosing to Canada

>Men who have marital partners also live longer than men without spouses

health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/marriage-and-mens-health

Jew wedding lot of guests.
Bread and water on the table, guests are unhappy, no one eats. Host's wife appears and asks her husband-should I bring in chicken? No its early, they haven't eaten bread yet! Guests start mowing down bread hoping for chicken. Soon they eat all. Wife-do I get chicken? Host-bring in the chicken! Guests wait drooling. Wife comes in with live chicken and plants it on the table. Chicken walks around eating bread crumbs. The end.

The fact that our country still exists at all after going to war with Emus is a testament to our extreme strength

If any other country went to war against the Emu Master Race, their country would be a smoking crater

how many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman?
none

CUM IN MUM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

YOU INBRED FUCKS

Why are there no Walmarts in Syria?
>There's a target on every corner

How was copper wire invented?
>Two Jews were fighting over a penny

>Why do niggers cry after they have sex?
>The pepper spray

How do you make a little girl cry twice?
>Wipe your dick off on her teddy bear after you're done

What's the difference between a nigger and a tire?
>Tires don't sing when you put them in chains

Father Abraham is dying...he calls his family on his deathbed...
A: Sarah, my wife, are you here?
S: Yes, dear...
A: Isaac, my eldest son, are you here?
I: Yes, father...
A: Rachel, my daughter, are you here?
R: Yes, father...
A: Benjamin, my little boy, are you here?
B: Yes, daddy...
A: And who is at the shop?
>cont
After they realized the mistake, they made, they leave quickly and Benjamin says...
B: Daddy?
A: Yes, Benjamin?
B: When you leave your last breath, leave it close to the candle to blow it out, it's a waste to burn for nothing...
>cont
Abraham calls his eldest son, Isaac...
A: Son, this watch was passed on to me by me great grandfather...your grandfather carried it in the concentration camp, and he gave it to me to hide it when we went to Israel...now I want you to have it...
I: Really father?
A: Yes...how much you 'll give me for it?
>cont
The next day, Abraham died...His son Isaac went to the local newspaper for the obituary..
Isaac: How much does it cost?
Clerk: 2 dollars for 2 words.
I: Ok, write "Abraham died"
C: But for 3 dollars, you can write 7 words.
I: Mmm...Ok, write "Abraham died. Truck sold at discount price"

Why is 6 afraid of 7??

>Because 7 is a nigger

Cred Forums

you wanna know what looks funny hanging from a tree?

[spoiler]a nigger[/spoiler]

>the last one
kek
a priest says to a rabbi "let's fuck some kids", the rabbi says "out of what?"

A priest goes for a haircut. Mmm, very nice, how much? I don't take money from the clergy...The next day, the barber finds 10$ at his door. Then an imam goes in for a beard trimm...mmm very nice, how much? I don't take money from clergy...the next day the barber finds 10$ at his door...then a rabbi goes in to have his pigtails done...mmm very nice goy, how much? Nothing, i don't take money from the clergy...the next day, the barber finds 10 rabbis at his door

i knew where joke was going and i still laughed

The light bulb is beautiful the way it is. Its the world that needs to change.

So I was fucking my daughter the other day when my wife walks in, and I'm not sure what she was more horrified over, that I was fucking our daughter, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her!

Ehmus?

Argentinians are white.