Modern Seinfeld

Hudson Campbell
Hudson Campbell

Kramer goes to see black panther

Other urls found in this thread:

drive.google.com/file/d/0B50l484pDaMobXI2Wk5CX0NMbkU/preview

Julian Scott
Julian Scott

Jerry & George are caught on camera celebrating 9/11

David Evans
David Evans

jerry
ipad

William Price
William Price

ELAINE

Jeeze, can you believe how quickly
they got this place cleaned up? This
entire block was covered in dust!

JERRY

I know, it’s immaculate! It’s like
they made a blood sacrifice to Mr.
Clean. Hey, by the way, I am so, so
sorry about that guy you were seeing.

ELAINE

Brian? Meh.

JERRY

Meh? What do you mean, meh? He was
murdered by terrorists.
ELAINE

I was gonna break up with him anyway.

JERRY
I thought you liked him.
ELAINE

He was nice, but in conversations he
was just so... animated. It was like I
was dating a radio sound effects guy.
Anyway, saved me an awkward dinner.

JERRY

Well as long as it worked out for you.

KRAMER ENTERS AND RUSHES TO THE TABLE, SITTING NEXT TO JERRY.
6.

KRAMER

You remember my crazy friend Mo Atta?

ELAINE

The guy you fish-sit for when he goes
to Florida? What about him?

KRAMER
Look at this!

KRAMER HANDS ELAINE A NEWSPAPER. SHE READS.

ELAINE

“The leader of the hijackers has been
identified as Egyptian-national
MOHAMED ATTA.” GET - OUT!

ELAINE SHOVES KRAMER FROM ACROSS THE TABLE.

KRAMER

You know he was always talking about
how evil America was? Eventually I
told him, “Why don’t you do something
about it?” I thought he’d write to his
Congressman!
JERRY

Kramer, he just crashed a plane into
the World Trade Center! He slit the
pilots’ throats with a box-cutter!

KRAMER

Not “a” box-cutter - MY box-cutter. He
borrowed it last week!

7.

ELAINE
(even more intense)
GET - OUT! You have to do something!

KRAMER

Oh, you’d better believe it! I’m
getting that box-cutter replaced.

Mason Harris
Mason Harris

Kramer gets skinny jeans

Evan Torres
Evan Torres

This was actually not bad. Congrats.

Chase Peterson
Chase Peterson

bretty good.

moar?

Bentley White
Bentley White

They already did that one.

Oliver Diaz
Oliver Diaz

Jerry accidentally ends up at a black lives matter protest and asks kramer for a lift.
Kramer gets newman to take him but when they get there blm protesters start attacking newman's van.
Petrol bombs start getting thrown and newman runs over dozens of blm protestors.
Newman gets arrested for terrorism.

Nathan Hall
Nathan Hall

Kramer gets into politics

K: Don't you see Jerry?
K: It's the perfect time, ANYONE CAN WIN
J: And you're anyone?
K: You got that right

Colton Reyes
Colton Reyes

jery get ipad

Parker Hill
Parker Hill

Fucking moar. Right now

Dylan Russell
Dylan Russell

Not “a” box-cutter - MY box-cutter. He borrowed it last week!

Holy kek, made me laugh
Literally pictured kramer saying this

Alexander Moore
Alexander Moore

Kramer becomes and uber driver
Elaine finds out the guy she is dating is a trump supporter
The gang check out He Will Not Divide Us camera when it was in NYC and Kramer does silly things in front of it
Jerry gets beaten up when he accidentally comes across an alt-right rally
Kramer goes MtF
Kramer gets into memes
Kramer starts an IG acount
Jerry overdoses on fentanyl

Owen Myers
Owen Myers

tfw reading it in their voices and even seeing their reactions and movements

William Hall
William Hall

wow dude I totally came here to pots this, upboats 4 U friend
edit: *post

Luis Martinez
Luis Martinez

Bitcoin episode:
Kramer makes millions on bit coin only to reinvest it in icos and lose everything. Newman jumps onboard and makes a quick buck but also loses like Kramer. Kramer getting his intel from bob.newman Gloats to Jerry that he has more money than him. Goerge regrets not getting in when he had a chance. "I had a feeling Jerry! I always do this. I was this close to investing in apple too." Jerry and Elaine are skeptical. Jerrys dad calls because he can't figure out what a bitcoin is.

Andrew Cruz
Andrew Cruz

Jerry owes Kenny Bania a favor
Kenny asks Jerry to cuck him with his while he watches in the corner
Jerry doesn't finish so Kenny thinks he still owes him

Noah Rivera
Noah Rivera

lmao well done

Connor Kelly
Connor Kelly

This is really fucking good

Matthew Gomez
Matthew Gomez

kramer join gamergate

Kayden Adams
Kayden Adams

There’s a story about a "lost" episode of Seinfeld floating around the internet.

The episode was supposed to air around season six, but it was mysteriously cut. The “official” story about the episode was that it featured Elaine purchasing a firearm after being mugged, but many elements about this episode were never revealed until recently. NBC Executives refused to officially report on the episode until the Seinfeld season six DVD commentary. I have the tape but as someone who works within NBC, unfortunately I can’t reveal my sources.

I work at the GE building in Rockefeller Plaza, and I have access to their digital archives. That’s as much as I can divulge. We also have the entire original Seinfeld series in multiple formats, including original reels and VHS tapes. I noticed an episode with the production code “607” was missing from the tape set, and it was relocated in a set of old news reels. The replacement episode “The Mom and Pop Store” was filmed a season later to replace the missing episode. It is oddly titled “The Mason”.

Connor Butler
Connor Butler

Random GF from a previous series returns and accuse Jerry of rape

George becomes a famous meme

Kramer becomes gay

Elaine becomes Reddit

Nolan Ramirez
Nolan Ramirez

The episode starts out as normal, with Jerry’s apartment, but the camera is much more steady. Jerry walks out as though he’s been drugged and remarks that all of his family and friends have been dying lately. His buzzer rings and it’s George. George runs up, half crying and tells Jerry he’s seen something terrible. He’s mumbling and stuttering for about five minutes until he can form a sentence. There are still pauses for humor, but there is no audience or laugh track. George informs Jerry that planes have crashed into the twin towers due to a terrorist attack on New York.

Jerry turns on the news and you can see modern footage of the 9/11 attacks, all pre-filmed several years beforehand. George says that isn't the worst part: Elaine and Kramer were in the towers at the time of the bombing. What proceeds is a graphic and explicit phone call of screaming and crying and Kramer saying that something terrible has happened, and Elaine is dead. Kramer screams there’s no air in the building, and he’s burning to death, and that he’s going to jump.

The camera cuts to live footage of a man falling from the twin towers. George genuinely looks upset and says, “I’m sorry Larry, but I can’t go through with this,” and he tries to walk off the set, but people stop him and push him towards the stage. He walks out Jerry’s prop window and you can hear him calling his agent. There’s a lot of mumbling, and you can see candles being lit behind the stage.

Robert Sanders
Robert Sanders

George goes on Grinder and gets a stalker and has to get the Van B boys to break the guys kneecaps.

Also Jerry gets iTunes.

David Johnson
David Johnson

Jerry goes over to the bookcase and pulls it aside, revealing a ceremonial black table with candles, a dinner plate, and a strange box. There is a Masonic symbol against black cloth just outside where the fake stage window would be. Jerry says some weird things in a foreign dialect, and one cut of the camera shows a poster of Barack Obama (This episode originally aired in 1995). The scene ends with Jerry waking up in bed, as though it’s all a nightmare. Kramer comes in and asks if Jerry has seen a lizard. Jerry laughs and says, “We are the lizards,” and the camera zooms slightly. His eyes become slivered, like almonds.

The tape is only seven minutes long, and what proceeds is just twenty minutes of dead air. If you continue watching to the end, it seems there are three more news reports tacked on. The first is about an outbreak of swine flu, the second about a train bombing, and the third...

Easton Morris
Easton Morris

even /x/ would call this a retarded waste of time

Noah Davis
Noah Davis

Jerry walks out as though he’s been drugged
Kept thinking this during the entirety of his Netflix stand-up special

Nicholas Russell
Nicholas Russell

Jerome acquires a digital device known as the Apple iPad tablet.

Justin Turner
Justin Turner

drive.google.com/file/d/0B50l484pDaMobXI2Wk5CX0NMbkU/preview

Dominic Stewart
Dominic Stewart

I found this funnier than that shitty fanfiction desu

Aaron Powell
Aaron Powell

Fuck off.

Noah Howard
Noah Howard

Always Sunny pulled it off

Chase Bailey
Chase Bailey

Not appreciating art

Jonathan Myers
Jonathan Myers

what's your problem?

Brody Davis
Brody Davis

jary buy ipone x

Mason Murphy
Mason Murphy

SEINFELD - "THE TWIN TOWERS" AN ORIGINAL SPEC SCRIPT
BY: BILLY DOMINEAU 08/02/2016

COLD OPEN INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT
JERRY
You think they ever get backed up at
the gates of Heaven? Too many people die at once, it just overwhelms the system? It’s gotta be like the DMV on a Friday. “Everyone take a number, you’ll be judged in the order you slipped the surly bonds of Earth.” God’s angry at St. Peter. “What’s going on? Keep the line moving!” “I’ve got three angels on vacation - what do you want?!” All these poor souls just standing around, reading old magazines. “This is taking an eternity. I could’ve been in Hell by now!”
END OF COLD OPEN

ACT I INT. YANKEES CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
GEORGE AND OTHER EMPLOYEES STAND AMONG NYPD AND FDNY. MR. WILHELM STANDS BEFORE THE ROOM NEXT TO A FIRE CAPTAIN. A BANNER READS “UNITED WE STAND - THANK YOU, HEROES!”.
MR. WILHELM
We have all been shaken by last
Tuesday’s horrific events. But through the darkness of September 11th, the light of our brave firefighters and police officers shines through.
GEORGE IS IN THE CROWD NEXT TO A LARGE FIREFIGHTER. HE LOOKS UP AT THE MAN WITH A BEAMING SMILE.
MR. WILHELM (CONT’D) These selfless men and women are
heroes to us all.
GEORGE NODS HIS HEAD TO THE FIREFIGHTER AND PATS HIM ON THE BACK. THE FIREFIGHTER IS SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE.
MR. WILHELM (CONT’D) And I could not be prouder to thank
them on behalf of the entire Yankees
family!
APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE. GEORGE GRABS THE FIREFIGHTER’S HAND TO SHAKE IT AND GOES IN FOR A HUG. IT’S TOO MUCH.

MR. WILHELM (CONT’D)
Now please, help yourselves to coffee
and pastries!
GEORGE GETS IN LINE FOR THE SPREAD BEHIND A POLICE OFFICER AND A FIREFIGHTER WITH HIS ARM IN A SLING.
GEORGE PLEASE! After you, Sirs.
POLICE OFFICER
Thank you.
GEORGE
Literally the least we could do.
Unless you wanted us to do less. If you truly wanted less, I’m sure we could find a way.

Easton Watson
Easton Watson

Actually I tried to copy paste it but the formatting is turning out all wrong. Just google "Seinfeld 9/11"

Michael Lewis
Michael Lewis

I haven't even WATCHED Seinfeld and I felt like this was seinfeld

good work

Jack Brown
Jack Brown

I do not understand why you're angry

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