YOU WHO I CALLED BROTHER

Is this actually a disney movie? Call me retarded but I never knew that

No. It's Dreamworks. Back when they were still good. PoE came out as 2D was going out of style in the West and didn't do as well as they hoped. So Dreamworks dropped stuff like this in favor of 3D, animals with the face and voice of prominent celebrities, and pop culture references.

I Saw it in the theatre as a kid. Turbokino.

SHREKED

...

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?

Best 2d movie in existence

Why wasn't Nefratitties in this version of the story when she played such a prominent role in The Ten Commandments?

holy shit i forgot how kino this movie was

Did it really do that badly?

I SEND THE PESTILENCE AND PLAGUE INTO YOUR HOUDE INTO YOUR BED INTO YOUR WINE INTO YOUR BREAD

Better than any Disney shit Tbh

It's probably done alright now since apparently every single Christian and Jewish school in the world bought a copy but it didn't make much at the box office and critics disliked it

youtube.com/watch?v=Bcg5rN-jlaw
best song

At the very least it broke even. But they were probably expecting The Lion King money. Dreamworks went all out on PoE. All-star cast and the film is freaking beautiful.

tfw this killed dreamworks

Could it be classified as a swan song of sorts? At least for 2D Dreamworks.

i unironically started tearing up when i watched a few weeks ago, i was like 4 when it came out in theaters so it couldn't have been the nostalgia or the memories. It's because it's an absolute kino

>critics disliked it
why the fuck?
Let me guess fucking boomers crying over how "violent" it was.

nu-Disney remake when?

>thought people who made it went on to make more kino
>main director did Brave
>other two did Bee Movie
How the mighty fall.

kek

pretty much any animated movie that wasn't typical Disney upbeat and happy with stupid sidekicks wasn't well liked for a very long time

Correction: the main director worked on Brave until she was fired and the guy who replaced her changed a bunch of shit, fucking the movie up

what about the road to el dorado?
Joseph, i think went direct to video, but was also a great movie.
Fucking hell why did dreamworks 2d die?
Was it they went all in with 3d animation after shrek?
I only remember shrek 1, 2 and Madagascar 1 living up to the hype, the rest was trash

Name ONE (1!) Disney film with an introduction sequence half as emphatic or emotional as this.

youtube.com/watch?v=mxZmDT7UKrg

"one for you one for them"
i guess

Figures. Watching it I thought about how much potential was wasted with its lore and stuff. She probably fleshed it out a bit more which Didney probably didn't like so they made How To Train Your Dragon with a bear instead. God I hate that movie.

Kung Fu Panda 2 was juuuuuust close to being kino but it's still nowhere near PoE level.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ig-4StuBfSE
gooks did a pretty good version of this

didn't watch the second one, the first one was funny. But it was just about the time when i was in my edgy teen phase, so i didn't watch many of the ones after that

those are chinks not gooks you fucking nigger

Watch 2, unironically an amazing film. Probably has the best Dreamworks villain too. Don't watch 3 though, just utter shite and disappointment there.

just out of curiosity, who else here is jewish?
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and he had never watched it. Did christians watch the movie?

Post your first and best jewfu

THUS SAYETH THE LORD

Lots of Catholics did. Most of my mates were shown it at school and I was pretty much raised on it.

Muslims didn't though because it's haram to depict Moses

SHREK'D

What the fuck

Growing up it was very popular amongst my friends and family, all catholic. Even all my atheist friends love the movie.

Does this count?

Why did the movie have to end just before it gets to the good parts?

What, you mean the hebrews falling into degeneracy and Moses breaking the tablets? Wouldn't have been a very upbeat ending.

You mean the really depressing parts?

I come from an atheist background but this film convinced me to stop mocking Abrahamic religion and actually start reading it.

literally getting lost in the dessert for hundreds of years

Only like 40.

kek
memes are too real

S T I C C

holy kino
gotta rewatch nao

Up there with the best Disney songs

Funny, I was just talking about this kino in some /vg/ thread and come to Cred Forums and see this thread.

I grew up in an ultra Catholic house (northern Irish mother) and this was literally the only movie I was allowed to watch for years

How shadow and light are animated in this film are a big part of what makes it special.

I don't think any Disney film of the period has frames as striking as these.

Certainly no animated film made with CGI can match this effect.

>betraying your solid Brother for a bunch of kikes

Fuck Moses, and who has ever heard of Jews doing manual labour anyway? Even under slavery? The exodus was Jew torture porn

ROFL

the way his mother sings reminds me of gazpacho's singer
youtube.com/watch?v=ykqiIKfoepo

The part with the whale astounded me
>you deserved those quad

>Mideanite
>Hebrew
Pick one

Goosebumps brah

I SEND THE SWARM
I SEND THE HORDE

THUS SAYETH THE LORD

truly a """"villain""""" that did nothing wrong

It was like 40 years man

was she some kind of ayrab?

>Women can't make good mov-

Christians were the overwhelming audience yes. Hell I'm an atheist and I liked the film.

Also that's an overly literal translation of an ancient Hebrew idiom that just means "a long time"

women can't make good movies

But God is a huge asshole in this story. Though it's Old Testament which modern Christians mostly ignore anyway.

I grew up in an Evangelical Protestant family. My parents were really excited to take us to see it in theaters.

>Fuck Moses, and who has ever heard of Jews doing manual labour anyway? Even under slavery?
Babylonians.

God wanted to kill off the degenerate generation, it makes more sense for it to be literally 40 years

Even if that were true, Mulan definitely killed hundreds. God relies on a plague like a pussy.

I had the biggest crush on her when I was a kid

at least it's kino

think, if you were born recently it could've been God's Not Dead or some shit

>God is the same yesterday today and forever
>"Then why was he a murdering asshole in the old testament, pastor?"
>"Well Jesus came and changed that"
>"So... God changes his mind and isn't the same being all the time?"

Still haven't gotten a straight answer from every Christian I know.

What about the scene where the Angel of Death just comes in and rips the breath out of the first borns' bodies? Gonna call Sammael a pussy?

How is he a asshole? Pharaoh was given numerous opportunities to free his people without consequence and he didn't. Before you mention the "hardened his heart" thing, bear in mind that this occurred only after Pharaoh lied about his intentions to free the Israelites and that hardening his heart doesn't necessarily mean God was controlling Pharaoh. Why did God go about things this way? He wanted to make an example of Egypt, showcase his abilities, and establish himself as the one true god. It becomes important post-Exodus. Also remember that the Egyptians had killed an entire generation of Hebrew males and subjected Hebrews to slavery for decades.

>that moment with jona's whale
pure kino

>and that hardening his heart doesn't necessarily mean God was controlling Pharaoh.
What does it mean then? And why not just keep killing Pharoahs until they got one that would let them go instead of killing everyone BUT the Pharoah?

He hasn't changed. A huge part of Jesus' message that most forget is: "repent for the kingdom of God is at hand." Revelation is literally a continuation of the fire and brimstone.

Unironically, it was a different time. I remember being really impressed by it when I saw it as a kid but I think it was too heavy and slow for a lot of kids, and critics seemed adverse to any cartoon aspiring for that sort of tone.

Would you this vegetable Cred Forums?

Somewhat, but it made me start seriously considering the ways in which religions get ingrained, and the kind of societies in which they evolve. The religion of a people generally speaks to the kind of hope they need to get through the day. For the Jews, it was obviously the idea of salvation from an oppressor.

Thinking about it, the fact that Hollywood has strong Jewish influence running throughout probably explains why common storylines in Hollywood blockbusters are about resistance against an oppressive force. It's in their cultural make-up, I suppose.

>He wanted to make an example of Egypt, showcase his abilities, and establish himself as the one true god. It becomes important post-Exodus.
Did you miss this?

Jesus didn't change God, he changed Man.

>youtube.com/watch?v=Rp5VsqVOu5s

>How is he a asshole
Killing innocent kids is a pretty dick move, regardless of how justified you feel he was in the matter.

By that logic, God hates humanity and needed Jesus to takes our sins away so he wouldn't hate us? So Calvinism?

It means they never have to suffer the slow decay of Egypt after the other plague's and the destruction of the Pharaoh's army in the ocean.

So it is the act of a merciful God.

from a certain point of view

FUCKING JEWS

No, He needed Jesus to take our sins away so we could enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Bible itself literally answers this question: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." This was said to Pharaoh. And people seem to ignore the parts where Pharaoh is said to harden his own heart against God. If you accept the interpretation that God actively prevented Pharaoh from releasing his people, it was only after Pharaoh had lied and hardened his own heart. It seems to have reach the point where God just said "f it" pushed him the rest of the way.

He was a good friend.

>"I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."
That's even worse.

And not go to Sheoul, which isn't even that bad, right? Th-thabks for killing my family with pestilence so you could save me, God.

>lmao I gave you guys free will so you can maybe end up in hell but if I need to prove a point watch out XD

People are right to disregard a lot of the shit in the Old Testament.

Well I'm from the middle east and a lot of Muslims I know watched it. They also drink and eat pork. From what I have personally experienced, Jewish people are way pickier about stuff like kosher food etc than Muslim are. But again that's my own experience.

Before then, everyone went to Sheol no matter how virtuous or evil they were, too.

Did you miss the part where Pharaoh disobeyed and lied several times first? That was all on him.

The movie portrays Ramses as a kid just trying to live up to his father's expectations and to be a good sovereign for his country.
They would have sold me on the "He didn't do anything wrong" bit but then when Moses says that Seti killed a bunch of children Ramses just says "So what they were slaves".
That's how they turned him from a misunderstood child to a villain.

A good way to think about it is that in the Old Testament the Heebs were extremely retarded so God had to hold their hand a bunch and dish out a lot of hard punishment because they were dipshits who would not learn otherwise or would all die without major handholding. This is because God created mankind blissfully ignorant but then the Original Sin thing happened so Man was like a toddler thrust out into the world.
God knew, however, since he's omniscient and shit, that in the future people would be better off and then it wouldn't be about survival but about the greater concern of ending the curse of Original Sin. Which he did, by sacrificing his own son, Jesus, in a reversal of the covenant with Abraham, which was in itself a declaration of God that he was a god who didn't demand sacrifices and that his power and love were so great that not only did his people not have to sacrifice to him, but he would for his people.
It's kind of a neat story. Also the Bible has a lot of cool ass shit like the whole book of Judges.

BTW how many people here have seen that old BBC miniseries, Testament? That shit was rad.

youtube.com/watch?v=7Tma_QZrwSk

Original sin has always and will always be complete bullshit.

Yeah but what are you gonna do. Without it man just thinks up his own variant, like "internalized misogyny", "systematic racism", "white privilege"...

How? He gave them an entire world and only forbade them from doing literally one thing. But if he didn't give them a chance not to follow directions they didn't have free will.

I don't ascribe to punishing innocent people for the sins of their ancestors, and it was basically just a story to justify a lot of misogyny with the whole LOL ITS ALL YOUR FAULT EVE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WOMEN DO STUFF.

>and it was basically just a story to justify a lot of misogyny
what are you a little bitch?

Did you miss where both of them failed? Adam and Eve were responsible for the fall man. Eve should have known better and Adam should have definitely known better since he received the original instructions. Notice how the curse doesn't set in until Adam takes a bite as well. And would it have been fine if Adam was the one deceived?

Which god was the one that wanted people to kill people that weren't from the same religion?
Which God condoned the crusades?
Old testament or New? Yahveh or Allah? I know it wasn't Budda or any of them polytheist gods.

No no i was just wondering since you know it was targetted probably mainly at children, i wasn't sure if super religious folks took their children to it, since i assumed maybe they weren't to fond on having a cartoon depiction of bible stuff.
I'm an atheist and I love this movie too, certainly more enteretaining than jesus creating bottomless bread baskets

I mean, are you going to seriously claim I'm wrong and that wasn't used as justifying treating women as less than men? Don't be a triggered incel.

No, because in case you missed my first point, I don't agree with the idea that a child should be punished for the sin of their parent. Its a bullshit fairytale creation myth anyways, we shouldn't be viewing these characters as humans who existed.

As a kid I never understood how Noah's arc didn't just fill up with water and drown with the rest of the world.
I mean it wasn't a submarine..

The good parts didn't happen till three thousand nine hundred and thirty nine years later though.

>implying

Retarded fedora detected.

>Which god was the one that wanted people to kill people that weren't from the same religion?
Pretty much all of them.

>Which God condoned the crusades?
The Crusades were in response to quite literally centuries of Muslim aggression. "Muh Crusades" is one of the fastest ways to prove how ignorant you are of both theology and history.

>Old testament or New? Yahveh or Allah? I know it wasn't Budda or any of them polytheist gods.
They're all supposedly the same god, though Allah is basically fanfiction by a false prophet. There are a bunch of bloodthirsty polytheistic gods though and Buddha isn't even a god, he's an ascended man. Stop being a retard.

>we shouldn't be viewing these characters as humans who existed.
But here you are, getting buttblasted because it "justifies misogyny."

It was your mother, faggot

dudes it's just a metaphor

The story was absolutely used to justify misogyny, yes. Just because those characters didn't exist doesn't mean the story of Adam and Eve doesn't exist. Are you slow in the mind?

>Allah is fanfiction.
As opposed to all the other real gods.
>Calls me a retard.

Cmon son.

That would make Jesus a liar because he taught it as actual history.

>The story was absolutely used to justify misogyny, yes
No it wasn't, retard. They both ate the fruit and both suffered for it.

>Eve is deceived by Satan, an angel created entirely for the purpose of deceiving and testing man
>Adam just does what Eve says because muh boner
>Somehow, Eve is the big fuckup here

Really? Interesting, it didn't convince me to start reading it if by that you mean believing it. But I agree it made me interested in reading up more about the whole old testament mythology. It's actually really cool, kinda like a Greek Epic Poem like if you see the family tree of the supposed first men, it's some straight up lord of the rings shit. Also the dude who was swallowed by the whale etc etc. It would be cool to see more kinos of those things.

He actually has a parable about taking parables too seriously. He was very meta.

You have no idea what this conversation is about, retard.

is that like the "till 120" thing?
If im not mistaken they tell you that in your birthday because moses lived that long, or is it also a code word for "very long"

>literally getting lost in the dessert
Frosting, as far as the eye can see!

Alright, original sin is a textbook for how to pull off a perfect con. The serpent was a god-tier hustler.

No, in fact, he got one over on God.

biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis 3&version=KJV

When God is casting the Serpent out of Eden, he says
>Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life
Now, first things first, the Serpent is already identifiable as such, so going about on his belly isn't bad for him; we can see snakes can handle that pretty well, snakes can move faster than you'd expect. But it's the second part that's important.
>and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life

Just a few verses later, God says this to Adam and Eve
>In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
>unto dust shalt thou return
Now, I'd think the Almighty would be one to choose his words carefully.

The only punishment the Serpent had to bear for his part in this was learning to crawl, otherwise what he really got for his effort was a meal ticket until the end of days, as long as humans keep dying.

Only question is, did the Serpent manage to con the Almighty here, or was the snake just in on God's plan all along?

How was it "used to justify misogyny" when they both fucked up and were both punished for it? So what do you want, for Eve to be a selfish bitch and not share the fruit? For Eve to do nothing and Adam to do everything and Eve gets shat on anyway along with him? You're a moron because you clearly have no idea what the point of the Adam and Eve story is, all you see is OMFG HOW CAN EVE BE SO DUMB MISOGYNY MISOGYNY

I don't believe in it literally at least, but it made me seriously consider both the good and the bad in these stories and more importantly consider WHY people take these stories seriously and base their lives around them.

I'm not an atheist any more but I'm not a believer in the Abrahamics, either.

>How was it "used to justify misogyny" when they both fucked up and were both punished for it?
Go read up on some church history if you want, I'm not wasting more time going back and forth on you.

So you don't have any examples to back it up.

Whatever I'd post you'd dismiss, I'm not going to bother.

What are your thoughts on the prequel?

You know it must have been awkward when Egypt ruled the Levant to hear the native Hebrew talk about how Joseph totally became Pharaoh's Grand Advisor and how Yaweh btfo of the Egyptian gods.

Has any other religion openly insult the surrounding local religions like Judaism did?

You have nothing and you sound like a defeatist loser, no wonder all you think about is misogyny. I will keep you in my prayers, you sad woman/beta male.

I think everyone, christians, jews, atheists, agnostics, and even anti-deists can agree that this film is pure kino. I say this as someone who respects no gods or rulers.

Shit forgot pic

>Has any other religion openly insult the surrounding local religions like Judaism did?
Islam.
Most of them probably did and we just don't hear about it since there's no record of them.

No good. Joseph's story is too contrived for kids.

If you even knew what Vatican II was without googling it I'd be fucking stunned. Its not worth it dude, sorry.

All of them back in the Bronze Age when all those tribes in the Levant were always killing each other.

I have seen the sun break through
to illuminate a small field
for a while, and gone my way
and forgotten it. But that was the
pearl of great price, the one field that had
treasure in it. I realise now
that I must give all that I have
to possess it. Life is not hurrying

on to a receding future, nor hankering after
an imagined past. It is the turning
aside like Moses to the miracle
of the lit bush, to a brightness
that seemed as transitory as your youth
once, but is the eternity that awaits you.

>it's not worth it i'm too weak and lazy to give examples
>i'm just gonna keep posting though because I need the last word
I feel bad for you, my womanly friend.

If I recall the Monkey King stories of Sun Wukong take the piss out of Taoism and Confucius thinking. But that's not a direct Buddhist text.

You can have the last word.

I miss 2d animation

Ramses father said that to Moses, not Ramses.

how is that liberal arts degree going?
literally this.
The teaching is, your actions have consequences, those consequences can extend over to your children.
That's a fact.
If you for instance have terrible credit, it could extend over to your children. If you are abusive, your children might pick that up see it as normal and perpetuated in the future.
>But muh it's missoginistic
Also a metaphor if you will, it's a known fact that if you think with your dick you are more likely to do things without being very critical. So it's a valid point, don't ruin your life over a roastie, like Adam. And women don't fuck up your life over some smooth talking guy like Satan.

Yeah, pretty much all religions ridiculed each other. It's just sometimes the ridicule survives long enough that we know about it. ie. we still use the term Philistine as an insult, to refer to someone as an uncultured shit. Historically though it turns out that the actual Philistines BTFO of the Heebs in every way, having a far more developed and sophisticated art and culture.

Ramses also says it when Moses comes back from the desert.

So is he supposed to reply to this post to have it?

AYO MY NIGGA
WHYS YOUS CALLING DOWN THEZZ PLAGUES N SHIT?

Oh Jesus
I have no idea if that was intentional or not
But I’m legitimately crying
Oh fuck

I'm a computer science major, sorry user.

Old testament -> Better fantasy story that most fantasy
New testament -> Worse than Harry Potter

I'd read the Old testament over a lot of literature. It's pretty fucking metal.

>The teaching is, your actions have consequences, those consequences can extend over to your children.
Also some moaning about how we're not just another animal and while this brings opportunity it also causes lots of existential pain.

>the virgin David
>the chad Goliath

New Testament is not really supposed to be a story in the same way the Old Testament is. The Old Testament was more straightforward, the Old Testament is basically 4 dudes telling the same events and then another dude's letters.

2 Kings verses 23 - 24 - 25:
Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, "Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!" When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number. He went from there to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.…

Don't mock bald people kids.

what are you trying to say?

More or less, Goliath's people had sick armor and metal weaponry while the Jews were bumbling around with wood spears and just wrapping themselves in an additional piece of cloth for protection. David just got lucky/studied Physics/had a supernatural sling arm like Marty McFly's dad.

Nah there's plenty of great stuff in the gospels. Christ's Passion is powerful stuff with good reason: I still think the exchange between Christ and the two criminals on the cross is one of my favourite moments in any book.
Old Testament has great parts too. I think Isaiah is criminally underrated, but you've also got the Psalms, Job, Song of Solomon etc. Then you've also got stuff like Numbers and Deuteronomy, so it's not like it's all great from beginning to end.

You forgot that chick with the tambourine who dances for like 2 seconds during the song. Hips like Shakira.

The George Costanza translation of the Bible?

This is the moment when spanish speaking catholics enter the thread and tell everyone
YOU ALL ARE FUCKING FAGGOTS NIGGERS KIKES
Go eat a steak or something, time for siesta

the devil cucked us from god
in strictly layman's terms

>tfw 42 children died because 2 shitheads insulted some warlock.

So was the snake a lizard or crocodile in the gardens of Eden?
He apparently lost his limbs as punishment.
Maybe they could fly so they were cursed to crawl instead?

Grew up Jewish. My entire family still lives it.

Shit that's pretty bad ass.
Fucking hell man, why didn't jesus just cast some bears to save him? Fucking hippies

I think a more accurate translation of that passage turned out to be that the "kids" were actually "youths" so they weren't 10 year olds, but teenagers. Makes it slightly better.

Yeah he was some kind of lizard.

youtu.be/7Tma_QZrwSk?t=15m

>Fucking hell man, why didn't jesus just cast some bears to save him?
He was a cleric not a druid

>some kind of lizard
HE WAS A REPTILIAN

God confirmed best druid

>Fucking hell man, why didn't jesus just cast some bears to save him? Fucking hippies
Because he had to die in order to be a sacrifice, if he had just saved himself it would defeat the point.

>tfw no animated movie based on the Divine Comedy
would be better than any shit out of the new testament at least

>believing in a phosphorescent dot in the sky
fucken navi ruining everything

Jesus was a Lich or Necromancer.

why not make it so the casting time lines up right when he bled out - so then an army of bears would run around and wreck anyone

Why did god make Lucifer? Is this all some sick joke?

was he at least spooky?

Jesus has instant casting times and he didn't want to just rek everyone because it would go against the whole "redeemer" thing.

To test man, like if your dad forced you to play Super Mario Bros The Lost Levels.

MUD

Why did God made you?

One day I'll find out. In the mean time I'm getting by doing my own thing.

There is literally no continuity issue with God between the Old Testament and New Testament. They're the same God. The OT promised the coming messiah from the very first book and the New Testament was just a fulfillment of that and God opening up mercy to all people. The Jews were supposed to spread the gospel and be God's representatives, though they rejected and killed him. OT laws were just to keep God's people separate from the paganism or lawlessness around the for a specific time in history. It was never a permanent solution. Jesus warns any who fails to repent before time is up will fall victim to the wrath of God (OT style language).

He had to die, he could have sent a whole battalion of the most mind bending angels to protect him, but he knew his role.

Dumb idea. Whilst the conceit of the Divine Comedy is ripe for being cannibalised and used in media, a direct adaptation of it simply wouldn't work. In the right hands, an adequate job could be done of Inferno and Purgatorio since a fair bit of the "meat" in them is based on things which could be physically represented without too much difficulty, but Paradiso simply cannot be translated into a visual medium.
Paradise Lost would be a better candidate as far as biblical poetic epics go, but in both cases so much of the greatness of the original lies in the beauty of the verse, not just the idea which are expounded through it.

I like the concept of Polytheism much more than Monotheism.
Having just 1 god is fucking boring.

w/e man I didn't say otherwise. They're not the same type of story though, OT is more straightforward in format with only some detours, and NT is like some Rashomon shit and then an extended collection of essays + Revelation.

Lucifer was an angel. The highest angel if I'm not mistaken. Basically a bishounen. He just decided one day that he would be better at the whole God thing. So he rounded up 1/3 of the heavenly host and attempted a coup.

ALL MOCKERY OF THE JEWS, AND THEIR ONE GOD, IS TO BE KEPT TO AN APPROPRIATE MINIMUM

Life of Brian is a fun movie.

It won an oscar for the soundtrack at least.

>but Paradiso simply cannot be translated into a visual medium.
then it's fucking meaningless isn't it

Do you guys think Mohamed ever thought that the rules he made up to fix the shithole he lived in at the time would still be taken seriously thousand of years later?

Grew up Baptist, used to go to one of those cliche black churches in one of the most dangerous cities in America, we'd drive in from the suburbs every Sunday. My sunday school teacher showed me it when I was young as fuck and it's been my all-time ever since. The soundtrack shaped my personality, I swear.

was he a nu-male?

i wonder what Muhammad would think of furries

What's middle school like these days, champ?

How? He literally came to die. That was his purpose. That makes him a chad more than anything. He willingly stepped down from glory laid down his life for the sake for people who didn't deserve it.

So Jesus was a carpenter like Joseph right? Why is it that we don't have anyone claiming they own a table or chair or something built by Jesus?

>for the sake for people who didn't deserve it.
this is why i ask

Scary dude. I'm constantly worried one of these losers is gonna show up with a gun and mow us down.

i mean i would rather die soon then live past 40 but i don't, if god asked me to sacrifice myself i'd do it

>Do you guys think Mohamed ever thought that the rules he made up to fix the shithole he lived in at the time
my friend you have been grossly misinformed
The Middle East pre-Islam was actually more diverse than it is today. In Mecca you had many tribes and religions co-existing peacefully. The men of Mecca worshipped stones, which they believed to be imbued with the essence of creation itself. There were the Yazidis, who survive to this day, one of the oldest religions known to man who saw life within flames. There were Christians, there were Jews, etc.
Muhammad started slinging his shit around being a caravan-raiding warlord and now the Middle East is 99.9% Islamic and they kill everyone who isn't and haven't invented anything in literally over 1000 years. He actually fucked everything up.

both the egyptians and the israelites were black?

I went to a catholic school and we watched the filum at school a shit ton.

Because owning a piece of the cross or Jesus foreskin would have been a more interesting relic to own.

I'm prettu sure it was said that Jesus could have razed the entire planet if He wanted to, but that was not why He was there

Please don't talk down to me. I am from the middle east, I've been spoonfed on how our ancestors were geniuses and pioneers before religion stroked. I phrased it that way cause it's from Mohamed's point of view.

IIRC, Lucifer rebelled against God because God loved humanity, while Lucifer did not understand why his Lord would love something so inferior

Everyone was black up until the invention of photography.

Muhammad wasn't trying to make things better for "his shithole" either because for an illiterate orphan Muhammad actually had a good life in a good place. He was just out to make things better for Muhammad. If you don't want to be misunderstood, consider expanding your command of the English language.

>Did you miss the part where Pharaoh disobeyed and lied several times first?
>first
You typed this as if it didn't completely undermine your entire argument. The sheer fact that it occurred regardless holistically undermines the concept of free will. Because it occurred at any point in the equation, the Pharaoh's degree of control is completely called into question. But it's not like this is anything groundbreaking; if you're not convinced that the character of God is meant to be an all-powerful all-controlling tyrant by Exodus or at most by Job you're a fuck.

Dante spends a great deal of time in Paradiso going on about how his words can't even really describe what it's like and he's just trying his best. He spends a lot of time saying "What I saw was a bit like this, but whilst I could sort of comprehend it when I experienced it at the time, now that I'm writing it down I can't really describe it." That's not to say there are no striking visual images in Paradiso - the one which always gets me is when Dante turns back to look down through the spheres back at Earth and remarks on how small and insignificant it looks, yet how much strife and violence happens on it: it prefigures things that astronauts will say 500 years later when they're actually in space looking back, which is staggering when you think about it - but that most of the visual images boil down to bright lights and patterns because that's as much as the human mind can comprehend of it.

It doesn't help matters that, in comparison to the life-stories and graphic punishments we get in Inferno and Purgatorio, a lot of Paradiso is spent in fairly in-depth philosophical and theological thought, so even less likely to adapt well on that front too.

>Cred Forums: the post

In the promised land, it'll be so grand

How was no alcohol, no pork, no gambling, pray 5 times a day, fast for 1 month, alms giving making things better for Muhamad?
You can't deny he wanted to change society.

youtube.com/watch?v=VY_mbam6vIs

Some of the best Western animation has to offer tbqh

We'll have our fill from the grill, as much as we can stand!

Muhammad was kind of a retard and he gave a lot of random orders, like when he claimed angels cannot enter houses that contain dogs, sparking a huge wave of dog murder that continues to this day. Most of the shit Muhammad said was about enriching his own life, like the revelation that allowed him to cuck his own adopted son.

Alright so do you think he ever imagined that idiots in the future would still be following his imaginary rules and even misinterpreting a lot of them?

On the subject of films related to Abrahamic religions, are there any good movies about the saints?

I am not Muhammad but I would imagine he was amazed how people followed his dumb rules even back then. So he would likely be even more amazed.

meme magic is real...

so basically it wouldn't get turned into a movie regardless of who picked up the trilogy? WOW like you need to be a genius to make good directing decisions

Flowers of St Francis
Becket

God just allowed the circumstances to align so that he could use Pharaoh for his own devices. Take God out of the equation and you still have Egypt's transgressions against the Israelites. Judgment was bound to come eventually and God used that as an opportunity to kill multiple birds with one stone. And the "hardening of the heart" depends on how you interpret the meaning of those words. Did God usurp Pharaoh's free will or indirectly influence him by threatening his sovereignty? Pharaoh was clearly a stubborn individual and didn't take well to the idea of another deity making demands. Remember he is supposed to be god. Pharaoh growing angry on his own accord is a valid reading of the text because such language is used elsewhere in the Bible. Sometimes things that God allows to happen are attributed to him. Figure of speech. Like if I said someone made me upset, did they literally take control of emotions and mental capacities?

severely underrated and rarely seen on /aco/

His mother is Ofra Haza