Watch a film with a friend

Invited date over to watch Blade Runner 2049 since she hasn't seen it. Have that shirt on 4k, surround sound the works. 10 mins in she starts taking cloths off. Mfw

>watching kinos with friends in silence

this is only possible if all of you are autists

>watching a kino
>pause it
>make a thread on Cred Forums to "live discuss it"
>someone spoils the ending

>Go to cinema with friend
>Hes paid for this movie so fuck me hes going to enjoy it no matter how bad it is in reality.

I mean sure be a cheap fuck but stop telling me Pirates 3 was not all that bad.

i read your post as "Invited dad"

>Watch movie with mom
>Sex scene come on
>She glances at me and gently bites her lower lip
>Strokes my inner thigh
>Begrudgingly make love to her on the sofa
>I just wanted to watch a movie

>watch movie with any sort of violence, even PG-13 bloodless
>TSSSS, AAAAH, gasps
>tfw I know 2 people who do this

Why are some people so damn sensitive?

Why are YOU so insensitive?

>Watch a film.
>So many poor inconsistencies and senseless choices as well as cliched dialogue.
>Constantly critique the flaws and plot short-falls.
>Viewing partner either chuckles slightly or nods rather than joining in in tearing it apart.

It's like they don't understand what makes a good film.

Moms giving unsolicited blowjobs are the worst. CAN WE AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THE COMMERCIAL BREAK?

>friend starts quoting the dialogue along with the characters onscreen.

Had a guy do this while we were watching Kill Bill.

What’s the rationale here? Is he trying to impress us with how he’s seen it enough times to memorize the dialogue?

When girls don't suck my dick while I watch

>watching stuff with friends
>It's incredibly predictable
>spoil movie I have never seen
>suddenly I'm the bad guy
They get so mad heehee

...

>watch a film with Dad
>keep hearing him doze off
>when hes awake just eats sweets
Not so bad but i just want to watch

>>make a thread on Cred Forums to "live discuss it"
you deserved to have your endings ruined you dumb ass

>watch The Empire strikes back with mom and sis
>starts quoting along with the characters
>mom gets pissed
>tells me to shut
>wink at sis
>sis and I now quote together

You can't discuss a moving without sperging out you autistic manchild. kys

>Watching movie with Dad and his friend
>Dad says "This is boring! Hey buddy, you want to play Cave Explorers?"
>End up in my own movie.

“Oh, this next part is really funny.”

“Did you notice what that character just did. (Now you won’t be surprised when that part becomes relevant to the story later).”

Alternatively:

>watching movie/show with someone, you’ve seen it before, they haven’t.
>character opens a box, the contents of which are not shown to the audience. The contents of the box were deliberately obscured from the audience to create a mystery that will no doubt be paid off later in the episode. If you were supposed to know what was in the box right away, they would have fucking shown it. It’s not an accident that you didn’t get to see it.
> “what’s in the box?”

My sister was the fucking worst for this

>watching black panther with gf in heavily urban-youthed theater
>every five minutes
>why does that guy have a disk in his lip? That girl is really dark. I can't understand a word he's saying. They're being rude to the white guy. Looks like the panther's gonna get some pussy tonight.

Choose better films

>dont have any friends who enjoy watching shitty b films with like rlm

what is the purpose of watching a movie with another person? How does their presence enhance the experience?
You aren't using their eyes and ears as supplement to your own, and if you're watching a movie just to talk about it while it plays, you shouldn't be watching movies.

fucking lost

>Looks like the Panther's gonna get some pussy tonight
I don't believe someone could be so awkward to have said that.

No matter what others say, know that I respect you, user.

>watching Simpsons/Family Guy/South Park
>joke happens, nobody gets it. Maybe the joke was playing off a different cultural thing we have never heard of, maybe it was a joke about a celebrity who is no longer well known, maybe the joke is just too dated to make sense these days.
>clearly there was meant to be a joke/gag in there, but nobody in the room gets it for whatever reason
>one guy has to laugh anyway, even though he clearly didn’t get the joke

Recently it was a Family Guy cutaway gag that was mocking (I assume) a celebrity. I had no idea who the guy was, so the joke was a miss for me. Co-worker laughed. I asked her who the celebrity was meant to be, which would give the joke a bit of context and she had no idea. And it wasn’t like joke about John Goodman where even if you didn’t know the guy, you could still understand they were mocking him for being fat.

>african-british friend who enjoyed watching shitty films on the african tv channels has now gone to uni

>OP was really, really stoned
>It was the director's commentary
>There was no friend

>watch film with mom
>she comments I'm more handsome than the protagonist

People asking questions that were answered multiple times before in the movie.

Saw Black Panther last night with my mom, who’s one of the worst offenders of this.

>”Is this a superhero movie?”
>”Does this take place in the future?”
>”Who’s that guy supposed to be?”

Granted, she also didn’t understand how Killmonger was the bad guy so there’s that.

>be on work break
>watching family goy and get some kino joke about 80s actor
>dipshit user asks for joke explanation once again
>oh errr i dunno user

When people eat popcorn in the theatre. I'm there to listen to dialogue, not your chomping.

Any time I see some fat fuck walking towards my theatre with popcorn in hand, I "accidentally" bump into them causing them to spill their greasy maize balls onto the carpet.

I watched Snatch with my buddy who outright said “If you quote this movie I’m gonna punch you in the fucking face”.

We both ended up quoting the shit out of the whole thing.

>watch both Blade Runners with a friend
>he's on his phone the entire time
>says they're boring and he's glad K died at the end of 2049
>few days later recommends me the Ghost in the Shell movie and says it's really good

>watch movie at cinema
>some whore keeps laughing uncontrollably
>every fucking scene
>I mean, shit son, every scene
>every cut
>every dialogue
>there is not one fucking minute of silence
>she keeps laughing

The movie was Bridge of Spies. It barely has any jokes in it.

>watch movie by myself
>think of a funny comment I would tell a friend
>don't have any friends

I just can’t fathom pleb behavior

thank u fren

>"is bane the one who dies in the plane crash?"

>fart silently during movie
>the smell is slightly noticeable, but it’s not rancid. Should be easy to ignore and will be gone momentarily
>somebody has to point it out, thereby embarrassing me in front of the group

Seriously, fuck some people. Everyone farts. I can understand calling someone out if it’s a really putrid one, but when it’s barely noticeable, why not just let it go?

>Watch movie with friend, but i'm saving up the comments
>Movie is over
>Long as rant about why I hated it/ loved it/ movie fell flat
>"Well what did YOU think?"
>"It was ok"

kek. I had this happened when I was watching high tension aka switchblade romance. come on, it was too obvious.

>watch film with the love of my life
>she keeps kissing me and wanting to cuddle when I just want to watch the movie

“It was okay” or “it was alright” is the legitimate WORST thing I can hear about a film.

A strong runner up though, is “nothing happened, therefore it sucked”.

underrated

>watch movie with friends
>their gfs are with them
>5 minutes in phones are out
>5 more minutes
>user THIS IS BORING LET'S TURN ON GAME OF THRONES

this happened 4 times this year

>watch movie with girl
>something mysterious happens or has been done by a character
>"why did he do that/did that happen?"
Girls are fucking stupid, just watch the movie it'll all be revealed

My parents are very catholic, and anytime we watch a movie where a character does something immoral besides the usual Hollywood sex/violence, my mom has to rant about it. Example:
>watch million dollar baby
>mom is liking it until euthanasia scene
>when the credits roll she starts giving a speech about how horrible euthanasia is
Same with Silence

FUCK THIS HAPPENED TO ME TOO. I hate my friends, but I hate their bimbo gfs even more. They even said that they wanted to watch GoT

Blade Runner movies are boring, besides based Roy

>watch a film with a friend
>make one quick comment halfway through
>SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

girlfriends ruin friend circles

>movie ends
>make a comment about the movie
>SHHHHH THE POST CREDITS ARE ABOUT TO START

They're always against euthanasia

Until they're slowly dying in a hospital bed in extreme pain

>watch film with ex gf
>she starts texting
>playing jewel game
>asks me what's the film about mid way
>movie finishes
>"movie was terrible"

If you like enjoying movies appropriately, do it alone.

>watching movie
>enjoying it
>turn my head to my friend
>it's an empty chair
>i've been alone for 10 years

>movie night with sister
>my time to pick movie
>pick Driver
>sister is on her phone all through the movie
>silent rage.jpg
>after movie finishes she complains it was boring and she couldn't follow what was happening
>can't stop myself
>yeah maybe because YOU SPENT THE ENTIRE FUCKING MOVIE WITH YOUR NOSE GLUED TO YOUR GOD DAMN PHONE SCREEN YOU LITTLE CUNT!
>she starts crying
>next week time for movie night again
>her time to pick movie
>she picks some fucking movie about black women working for NASA or something
>know it's gonna be a fucking bore after just one minute
>urge to pick up phone and browse Cred Forums is rising
>can't do it because of my earlier outrage
>forced to sit through 2 fucking hours of the most boring trite ever

why is life so FUCKING complicated???

t. nignog who talks int the theater

yeah but did she suck your dick

Damn nigga you nasty af

you underestimate how little attention some people have. I know a guy who can't sit for more than an hour without talking or checking his phone, regardless of what he does

>this is only possible if all of you are autists

>wanting to listen to understand the plot
I bet you were the loud one in the classroom too.

>watching movie with a group of people
>were having fun shooting the shit, nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking, and laughing at it
>except the guy who brought the movie
>he takes it very personally
>by the end throws a tantrum and says hell never bring a movie again
Who was in the wrong here?

I went to go see Call Me By Your Name with my girlfriend. She stayed quiet and we both loved it. BUT there were two fags beside us that for whatever reason kept making little gay comments and giggling whenever a guy had his shirt off. They also made dumb jokes during the ending. Almost ruined the movie for me.

Like shut the fuck up you faggots I'm tryna watch a movie about gay dudes in Italy.

>watch a film with brother

>he pauses the movie at a funny moment and asks me if I got a joke

>After movie, discuss with friends how sometimes actors don’t actually have to kiss, sometimes they just pretend and the camera angle makes it look real
>try to demonstrate it with one friend how they do it
>faggot actually leans in and kisses me
>rest of group starts laughing as though I’m the one who should be mocked in that situation

>watch movie
>mom tells me to take out the trash
>never take it out

LOCK ME UP

>Spider-Man Homecoming
>small cinema hall, only 4 rows
>4 seats in the corner of last row not taken
>get the second from the wall seat, maybe no normies will want to seat that far from the middle
>a fat neckbeard (about 30 yo) has already taken the seat nearest to mid (even though it wasn't his)
>he put a fucking bucket of popcorn next to him
>apparently I would suppose to sit next to his popcorn, but I decide to sit in the corner just to not sit so near that disgusting subhuman
>movie starts
>that fat fuck keeps commenting the movie with his friend (another greasy neckbeard in his thirties or so)
>"What? Flash but the story is totally different!"
>mfw they think Flash Thompson is suppose to be Barry Allen
>Stan Lee cameo
>"Wow, is this Stan Lee?" "Stan Lee!" "It's Stan Lee!"
>I tell those two fucks to shut the fuck up
>the one closer to me tells me to "calm down", his tone suggests as if he was the one rebuking me and no other way around
>I tell him in harsh tone that they are the ones who can't keep their mouths shut for 5 minutes like goddamn children
>those two fucks sit quietly till the end of the movie

Ugh... we wuz chads, I guess?

yeah the second type annoys me too
i always go with "just watch the movie"

maybe she was laughing a what a fucking hack Spielberg is. I mean did he fucing get the memo that the cold war is now over? that movie was a complete waste of my time, should have waled out/10

she was laughing at you

>not fucking her doggy while continuing to watch

There's a guy in my office that was fucking honest to God astonished when I said something about poor camera work, lousy dialogues etc. while discussing a movie. He just couldn't comprehend that a film isn't just some random shapes moving on the screen with sound added to match the visuals. It's like trying to communicate with a foreigner whose language you don't know. Or just a retard. Yes, those kind of people do exists. And it's scary as fuck, once you think about it.

>watching The Wolf of Wall Street in cinema
>almost empty except a chad with a group of dumb roasties who keep making jokes and laugh all the time
>funny scene comes up, laugh out loud
>chad thinks I'm laughing with him, invites me to sit with them
>have to socialize and keep my autism in check for almost 3 hours
fuck that, I just wanted to enjoy my kino in perfect solitude

...

you if you're a bunch of fucking plebs. him if it was some capeshit or something

>Being balls deep in a thot while they stand before the gates of mordor

Bitch, no.

>Have a couple of my only and closest friends
>Don't see them too much after college
>See them once every two months
>One night a friend suggest watching a movie or a series
>Every time I say no
Sorry guys, buy I realised that we see eachother for so little time that we can't waste spending 2 hours passively watching something (as no one want to be interrupted while watching) so I always look for something that could keep the interaction, like talking, drinking or playing.

One of my friends does this every single time:

>recognizes an actor from something else he’s seen before
>in cinema, must lean over and whisper “hey, it’s that guy from that one episode of StarGate, remember him? Well that’s the same actor.”

If we are watching at home, and he recognizes the actor, but can’t pinpoint where he knows him from, he must get out his phone and look up the character IMMEDIATELY. This shit cannot wait until the movie is over, (where the actor will likely be mentioned in the credits), no, this shit needs to be done right fucking now. I hope nothing too important is happening in the movie after this character just stepped into frame, because my friend and his phone are on a mission to find out who that actor is, and where they have seen him before. Completely fucks up the flow of the movie.

>not politely telling him to fuck off and foiling his attempted magnanimous dominance play
this is why you'll never be a chad user

She was sitting like 7 rows below on the opposite site of the theatre, but nice try.

>trying to watch kino with a group of people
Its going to get nitpicked regardless of quality
Unless youre friends with some pretentious film degree fags

Retards who complain about accents, but are okay with the language being english even when its ancient rome

I was scared he's gonna bully me for the rest of the movie

>“Oh, this next part is really funny.”
>“Did you notice what that character just did. (Now you won’t be surprised when that part becomes relevant to the story later).”
i do this

there's no hope for you

I really don't think that a movie taking place in the '60s is trying to convince the viewer that the Cold War never ended desu. Or maybe I missed something.

Get rid of her

that's true. you have to know what you're in for. not in a darkened theater, bunch of people, basically just a social event at that point. so yeah the guy who got butthurt is a fag. you guys are probably still plebs though

>something gruesome or violent happens
>some edgelord had to laugh at this scene so we all know how badass he is

>Chad see's you sitting alone
>Thinks fuck that noise
>Invites you over for good times
>Probably wouldnt have cared about your autisim

Chad is your friend user, he only wants you to gain more bulk and to stop all that sulk.

my mom does this for every sad scene. idk why, she just does.

Well now that it’s been pointed out to you, maybe you can stop? I’m not trying to be an asshole, but alerting somebody that a funny part is coming up detracts from the scene, and as a result, the scene is now LESS funny for someone who hasn’t seen it before, because now they are expecting it.

I unironically did this watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning when a guy cut off grandpa's two legs instead of one and once asked why, he replied:
>For balance.
Other people laughed too though. Not sure that counts desu.

Would people really do that? Just go on the internet and lie?

yes he was nice but i hate when people pull me out of my autism zone, it forces me to improvise and I either ride it out high or crash spectaculary and have to avoid the place for another 5 years.

GitS is good too, user.

no

I think he meant the live action version though.

she could still smell you

...

>friend wants to "show" me a film and thus is constantly gauging my reaction during the whole thing as if it were his own creation

ur mum has tism of some degree and most likely wants to suck your bobby.

I do this but because I'm laughing at the edgelords that came up with that scene in the first place.

Fear is not the realm of the Chad

sounds legit

>not banging that pussy and coming right as Theoden dies

Dubs confirm

>Just sayin

kek

>take date to watch BR2049 because I really wanted to see it
>forget the movie is 3 hours long and get afraid she'll be bored
>mfw she liked it

did you marry her yet

Definite proof LOTR is "fun".

this is not a pet peeve this is downright annoying in all aspects
don't talk to people while they're focused on something

:(

and yet, y'all couldn't bare going to the theatre alone

To discuss it afterwards

Leave the fat simpletons alone :(

>what'd you think of the movie
>"oh it was pretty good"
>oh ok same yeah