You've been in a coma for, quite some time. Yes yes, you would like to now how long, i'm afraid it's been, 9 years

You've been in a coma for, quite some time. Yes yes, you would like to now how long, i'm afraid it's been, 9 years....

meme thread

Half life 3 come out yet?

so the head transplant is gonna fail right?

FIRST EVER HEAD TRANSPLANT

It would have still been referred to as Episode Three, user

I was sad when this guy died. I liked him.

So did he ever end up going through with suing Konami?

How did the head transplant go doc?

Rip Red Forman and Kitty Forman

I'd rather take solitary confinement for nine years. At least then there's a chance your cellmate will give you two billion dollars hidden on a small island between Corsica and Marseilles.

...

so are you telling me that if I wanna get /fit/ all I have to do is trade bodies with some jock and convince him it'll make him as smart as me?

shit doc where do I sign

I seriously hope this head transplant goes well. My body is falling apart at the seams and Im in my 20's. I go to the gym every other day to try and keep myself from turning into a skeleton, but when I work my legs I can barely walk three blocks because of my horribly malformed knees, even with orthotics. I've got a very long family history of dementia, on both sides, which Im trying to keep at bay with everything from drugs to sketchy "natural" pills to fucking cigarettes, which are probably working to destroy my body even more. Unless we get Deus Ex style mechanical augments in the recent future, Im fucked.

>solitary confinement
>cellmate

There will always be helium tanks, friend.

The guy across the hall from me tried to dig a tunnel to the wall of the mountain we were on, but he fucked up his geometry and ended up in my cell. Now, in a coincidence like this, I can totally understand how he thought he was reenacting the plot of the Count of Monte Cristo, so he probably felt obligated to give me his fortune in bitcoins.

I've got too many thing I still need to do. God put most of us on this earth to fill a station, but I was put here to accomplish a mission.

I want to see an indie film about a deformed, luckless man struggling through the events of his life until it finally breaks him. The physical deformity is really key, imo.

Honestly thats a better idea for my movie then what I was going with. I made a bet a while ago that I could get a movie onto Canadian Netflix for under $1k, because theres so much shit on there already, and our idea was a horror movie about the ghost of a castrato singer from the 1600's chopping peoples nuts off. This will seriously cut down on the budget.

Reminder that we are losing huge amounts of helium every year

Eventually there will be none left on Earth, which is why scientists are currently trying to find other sources for it

Play it completely straight (maybe with the occasional awkward bit of exasperated humor) and be sure to put my name in the credits.

Eh, when we do actual science shit with it we recycle it really well. We'll have it to use as coolant pretty much forever, but we might have to start filling balloons with hydrogen in the future.

I could totally do two hours of black and white footage of a poor crippled dude working three jobs to make ends meet while trying to get poetic revenge on the assholes that crippled him, or making restitutions for a crime he committed. ill be sure to put "Fagulon-9000" in the credits. You'll have to come to Canada to actually see it because our Netflix is like the Mogadishu of video streaming.

I'm counting on you, user. Post .webms to various boards when you're done.

Cred Forums is counting on me for that castration horror flick, but fuck them.

Just get the body of a dead prison inmate.

can i have the body of a girl doc?

thats gonna cost you

I need to tell you something. Please listen, and try not to panic.

You haven't had fun playing videogames...for quite some time. Yes, yes, I know. You'd like to know how long. I'm afraid it's been...nine years.

Wrong

how much?

This is the lamest self ban attempt I've ever seen. Not him, but there's one other person who'd love to see you go through with this. Let your story be known, my friend, and stay strong willed. It may not mean much to you, but you've at least got one stranger here wishing you the best.

He died like a retard, holding onto his mirror and fighting for dear life to keep it straight for you to stare at yourself with while being choked to death instead of grabbing his gun sooner.

>Hydrogen Balloons
>Clown fills up hydrogen balloons next to lit birthday cake

>I seriously hope this head transplant goes well
>I've got a very long family history of dementia

Exactly how is a head transplant going to solve that?