MEANWHILE, AT THE Cred Forums MANSION

ATTENTION TO ALL RESIDENTS: Stop sexually assaulting the more effeminate of us. You don't seem to understand how much paperwork we have to fill out every time one of them comes to us with this.

We got you those rubber asses for a reason.

oh yeah I let a badger loose into the vents and have been feeding it to keep the rat population low
just make sure any small pets you have are locked up and we should be pest free soon
I thought about using a snake but that just seemed like it'd go wrong in a lot of different ways

what about those of us who haven't been caught yet?
hypothetically speaking I mean

>think I'll be the only black guy living there
>at least 30% is black nerds with mini fros and skater shoes that talk only about fighting games and obscure weeb titles
>the rest are a mix of white and hispanic with maybe 2% asian
>mfw seeing two females and both are actually fit and attractive and know a lot about games
>no fat, overweight neckbeards, wearing fedoras
>everyone is really chill because we all like pokemon and have that to talk about
>only a handful of meme spouting idiots
>suddenly, europe shows up
RIP Cred Forums mansion

What the fuck ? America I thought we were bros. How can you be so retarded with another language ?

ATTENTION RESIDENTS: Accounting has reworked the budget to install a video security system. As to adhere to the parameters of the new budget, your autismbux fee has been increased for the next six months.

You guys brought this in yourselves.

youtube.com/watch?v=havhaDYh0Sc

WHO LET THE ZOMBIE DOGS IN?
OR THE BIRDS OR THE SHARKS OR THE GIANT ZOMBIE SNAKE?

For anyone interested I will be conducting a 30 minute seminar on the blind spots in the new security system for a fee of $15 in the conference room at 5pm

I wonder who, but he must be punished for being naughty.

to the guy in apartment 205
Stop throwing your piss bottles in the hallway? One of them broke yesterday and the whole floor smelled like piss.

sign my petition to install piss bottle disposal chutes in all the rooms then

WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE ALL LIKE 14 YEARS OLD

Who the fuck put fucking dog shit in my god damn shoes again I swear to god if I find out who's doing this I'm gonna put dog shit all over your bed

>a mansion full of adult manchildren iving with literal underage children
That place would get shut down so hard.

Why would I tell you if your going to Shit on my bed

Okay I'm calling dominoes what do you guys want?

AYYO GET WANGZ

Everyone here is above the age of 18

For you to phone a better fucking takeaway you pleb, this is the reason some of us moves into the shed outside.

Guys, I got the room next to the only girl in the mansion. Should I fug her?

Two medium pizzas, one Hawaiian with sriracha, one white sauce with spinach. And a two liter of diet coke

you got lied to
it's a trap
all the girls left for reasons above

I mean, if you want. I now she doesn't come out much, but she's a straight bulldyke lesbian.

I guess if you're into fat 14 year old boys.

>Pineapple on pizza
Enjoy your weak genes faggot

What does my pants have to do with pizza?

My jeans are pretty comfy
Having a god tier metabolism has its perks if you live the Cred Forums life

Who let the Niggas into the mansion.

>Hawaiian

Stop fucking ordering dragon dildos you fags, people are gonna think it's me.

next you'll be complaining about me having ketchup with steak
it's just bitch bitch bitch with you cu/ck/s

Wow. What a mansion!

dude I think if you dont want to give the impression you order so many dragon dildos you should start by throwing out your immense dragon dildo collection

hawaiian, which is not even bad, is what you bitch about instead of fucking white sauce and spinach pizza?

Don't fucking eat it then, you uppity faggots.
Order your own damb food.

wow way to consider that maybe not everyone else has your patrician taste you fucking faggot.

Next time someone tries to flush cartridges down the porcelain throne, murder.

Mostly manchildren and children, what can you do?

I'm headed to 7-11, what do you faggots want?

...

>Which is not even bad
Didn't read further

Okay guys it's not funny anymore. If you give back all the ps3 games we will let you off with a warning.

one of them Rx Energy 'zonas.

that order is just for him dumbass
you have to order and pay for your own pizzas because otherwise no matter how huge the order is someone throws a bitch fit about the leftovers being eaten

This fucking floor gets stickier every day.

Get me like 5 of these and some jack links teriyaki

Here's a twenty, keep the change

I tried mopping it once and it was like acidic Velcro, eventually melted the mop.

yo guys like eurobeat?
youtube.com/watch?v=dv13gl0a-FA

>Here's a twenty, keep the change
>he actually tips the fucking 7/11 pickup bitch

wow.

I'm headed to 9-11, what do you faggots want?

Who the hell keeps bringing all these fucking frogs in here?

What's next ,are you guys gonna defend Mac n Cheese or something ? Fucking children I swear to god

I just wear snow shoes whenever I need to get somewhere
It's worked pretty well so far

not at 4 in the fucking morning no I don't.

Gotcha man.

Thanks bro, I'll pay you back when I can.

This 7-11 trip just got interesting.

TURN THAT SHIT DOWN, DUDE. IT'S 3PM SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.

>hating on hawaiian

Kraft dinner is serious business buddy

I dunno but I want to fuck this one.

I tried snow shoes but the pointy bits of floor could still get me through them.

Some Condoms? My Trap just got aids

how about this?
youtube.com/watch?v=XCiDuy4mrWU

Whats with the realistic fullsized bowser doll chained on the old dungeon?

...

they keep coming in on their own man, its their natural habitat.

>we all have pokemon to talk about
or they're all normalfags

It usually gets replaced once a week but an unbirthing fag got to it so now we're sort of airing it out and waiting for him to die before we replace it.

Hop in bro, one of you fucks better be timing this run by the way.

No problem, just be more careful next time.

Go fuck yourself, then.
This is America, we don't do shit for free.

this just raises further questions
and the original question remains unanswered

...

Ok, who put a sticker with the word "cuck" on the mustard bottle in the fridge again?!! This is NOT funny, guys!

>He doesn't laugh whenever he reads Cuckstard

It's a joke, lighten up

Better than this shit.
I couldn't stop giggling like a fucking school girl.

...

...

Stop using mustard then you fag.

I mean the answer to what's with it really depends on whether it smells like lonely, or absolutely fetid with half the face missing.

You'll have to work it out with Jimmy, it's $20 for 3 hours.

Hey guys, gonna go LARP but I'll pick up McDonald's on the way back.

What do you want?

Gonna need some sauce.

How much fucking food do we need? Goddamn.

Hey remember that Wall of Gamecubes that one user tried to build, but he ran out of money after two Gamecubes and a Gameboy Colour? So now there's just two Gamecubes cemented to the floor and one handheld nailed to a wall in one of the hallways. Good times.

Can you fags stop taking Vidya so damn seriously, that's why no one comes over cause you guys end up screaming about how Fox is cheap to use in Melee or betting whoever has the least stars in MP has to eat a soggy waffle

I have a problem
usually I go round to /d/ house for my weekly /d/&/d/ game but their gaming room was too heavily stained this week so I decided to host them here

And they've all gone missing
Now before anyone panics I've already baited some dragon dildo traps (and also dragon dildoed trap traps) in a few of the main walkways and under the stairs and stuff so I need everyone to not set them off like dumbasses and just wait calmly for the /d/eviants to get caught before they do anything we cant undo

>He plays couch co-op with Cred Forums

I mean, you're digging your own grave there.

well there is 80 of us in this damn house

>before they do anything we cant undo
help me

20 Piece mcnugget

I'm gonna head over to town for a bit to pick up some new vidya, but I'm gonna check by Taco Bell on the way back home.

Anyone want anything?

At least tell me it's not the scat crowd.

You would be my hero if you could grab me a crunchwrap supreme, and a Baja blast

GUYS GUYS HOLD ON A SECOND WE NEED TO HIDE YOTSUBA QUICK

Yeah, my heartburn medication

Yo lads I'm heading into town to eat, but stopping by the bar to get a drink too.
What type of hookers you want?

...
I mean not ALL of them are so kinda?

SHIT, HIDE HER WITH THE DYKE BITCH

Good lord that is one beautiful fucking house.

Post more.

Any willing to dress an isabelle fursuit and pretend they're cheating on Bill Trinnen.

like I said before if you can afford to pay for life saving medication for a congenital heart defect then you can afford to pay double rent to pick up the slack for some of the anons who cant

Also we hocked it

Get me one of those sweet Top Gun hats Adam bought from there

>DAY 426

>An all out war has broken out between console and pc users, 42 men died

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS /d/ IS LOOSE IN THE FUCKING HOUSE AND YOU JUST LEFT YOTSUBA OUT.

We aren't that sexually depraved user. Anyways you get your dick chopped off if you touch her.

Yeah, can you bring Daisy over? She's the hottest in spats.

Bolster your spirits men, and raise the defenses.

Its time.

>CODE RED A Cred Forums USER HAS BEEN SPOTTED WITH A GIRL

good show

Fool. Gore only makes /d/ hornier

I don't pay for it, my insurance does

guys can we hire like 10 asian hookers to mud wrestle outdoors?

I THOUGHT THE DYKE BITCH WAS DEAD???

IT WASNT MY TURN TO WATCH HER, Cred Forums FUCKED UP THIS TIME NOT ME

No shit you double nigger, we need to hide her for the night.

ah fuck
they let the Five Nights at Freddies posters out of their cage
ASSUME BATTLE POSITIONS WE HAVE A /vg/ BREACH
REPEAT: /vg/ BREACH! THIS IS NOT A DRILL

user, don't forget what happened to the West wing last time you tried that.

Just be careful, ok?

Are you trying to arrange a DoA LARP in the backyard? If so, count me in. I'll buy the beer.

Should we ask /tg/ for help?

u live there u dummy

if all goes to shit we'll just lock them outdoors, go inside and play more vidya

Calm your tits down.
I released the cage of the crazy fujoshi with a promise of an actual photo of optimus prime butt for the one that brings more of the FNAF posters.

Dude it wasn't that bad. only two of them died.

No, they'll just nuke the entire mansion. Not worth the risk. Better save that for when Barneyfag shows up.

>I released the cage of the crazy fujoshi
YOU
FUCKING
WHAT

HAVE YOU SEEN MY BABYFACE AND LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR????

ILL BE TORN TO SHREDS

God damn it, as if I don't get enough of people shitting in my cereal from Cred Forumsirgins.

Where do we keep getting money from?
I mean like 70% of us in this damn house are NEETs.

oh god
they're in the thread

You think they would help us?
Even after we burned their character sheets ?

Neetbux

Holy shit i think i just saw a girl! But for some reason she´s hiding in the shadows and her skirt looked like it was bulging with something. Oh well, time to get lucky. Hey bab-

They won't help. Remember what happened last time?
>drunk Cred Forums fags start breaking shit
>we call for help
>/tg/ arrives
>they spend the whole night rolling dice in the hallway whilst the rampage continues

Autismbux also technically the house is condemned so I'm not sure anyone is charging rent.

Uh guys... I think /k/ got into our backyard.

Will I find a cute boyfriend to play vidya with in the Cred Forums mansion?

well originally it was a combined mass con venture but eventually we just outsourced it to India
the profit margins are lower due to the shitty indian accents but its still enough to subsidize what isn't covered by welfare fraud and what we can get from old ladies last will and testements

Arnt they just gonna join the FNAF posters, i mean if they overthrow us again they dont get locked up again

yo im about to jack off. can i borrow an onahole for a second?

Shilling, my friend. I got this sweet deal with Todd that I think you're gonna like. All it involves is calling New Vegas worse than Fallout 4 and telling people to buy more copies of his game.

sauce?

Donald Trump is apparently paying us to work on refine our meme magic

Sure thing, just clean it afterwords ok?

>white sauce and spinach pizza
I've never had that but it sounds delicious.

Excellent! they'll help us purge the rogue elements loose in the house

Fuck, Leave them be. Maybe the fujos will get caught in the crossfire when they try to flee

Speaking of meme magic, anyone seen Cred Forums and /lgbt/? They disappeared off somewhere around the same time.

Yeah i make the white sauce myself. It´s a special recipe.

I narrowly avoided /d/, for fuckssake someone do someth-

Shit's boooooomb

Attention: The basement is reserved for the /fit/Cred Forums user´s gym, NOT a storage room for dildos.

Thank you.

i think it would be best if you did that. i wouldnt want to ruin it.

I FOUND /d/

GET EM

>Not letting /d/-tan rape you

Yeah i saw em. /lgbt/ had a protest in town. And Cred Forums followed em to launch a counter protest. They must have taken the long way around because they went innawoods Must be a shortcut

>Enter the Cred Forums mansion
>Never see the sun again
>Get roomed with a neckbeard weeb and a fighting games fag who won't shut up about Blazblue
>Room is right below the STALKER room
>Periodically hear Ruskies chanting "cheeki breeki" and screaming
>Fallout room consists entirely of guys named Todd
>Overwatch room is nothing but body pillows of the female heroes
>Only contact with the outside world is the Internet, the occassional police raid and those rare times when the /r9k/ mansion comes to visit
>Internet is slow as shit because fifty other douchebags are using it to stream porn and play vidya
>Traps keep trying to jump on my dick
>Only girl vanished six months ago
>Keep hearing weird noises from the basement
>/tg/ keeps calling and asking to hang out
>Domino's won't deliver anymore because so many faggots ordered pizza and opened the door naked

such is life in the Cred Forums mansion

Lucky bastard. I got the adress wrong the first time and ended up getting penetrated by a futanari with two cocks and tentacles for arms. They even tried to vore me, but I managed to narrowly escape and make it here.

FUCKING /d/ICK SUCKER
GET OUTTA MY HOUSE

>innawoods
wonder if /x/ is still camping out there
he's been gone ages

Guys, why the N64 is physically fused with the wall?
How this is even a thing?

>went to /hm/ the other day
>spent the whole time sitting at the edge of the room watching everyone else
>nobody even came up to me to ask if I wanted to join in

Guys stop trying to get rid of /d/. /d/ is a peaceful board and I am sure they haven't done anything wrong.

Shh now, it´s impolite to speak with a full mouth.

Ever since /k/ abandoned it and went unnaground I'm pretty sure /x/ took up residency. In fact I'm going to go visit. Have fun dealing with fujos, /d/, fnaf posters, and Dragon dildos fuckers!

I dont think so, if i know /x/ he went out there for a day and ran home. Now he is coming up with a bullshit story about skinwalkers or someother bullshit

have fun being sacrificed faggot

>I wonder who's behind this post
GO HOME /d/

Attention!

We have confirmations that Anthony Burch has infiltrated the mansion. We are working on getting him removed as soon as possible. If you happen to encounter any strange and dangerous phenomenon in the mansion at this time, always remember that no matter what happens, you will never be Anthony Burch, and therefore you have no cause for worry.

guys I just saw /x/ on the edge of the forest, what the fuck is going on

I dont know where you have been but 4 anons are missing. They probably got vored

As if. Sacrifices are only made with pure virgin maidens.
Oh

Nigga what? I'm with /x/ right now and we ar-

>>Only girl vanished six months ago

We're in the fujo room playing otomeshit

Nothing, user. Everything is alright. No one here is a skinwalker or something.

user? user? ANOOOOOOOOOOOON!

I made you all some food. Please eat up and take a nice long nap.

Was that the plot of this anime?
Shit got boring quick, didn't get past ep 3.

It's just /x/ invoking the shitpost pixies.

Dont pay em any mind. /k/ is still in the backyard shooting the metal siding.

user, I don't know what to say but, /x/ died 3 years ago.

OH SHIT

Reminder to all guests to stop sexually harassing the Loli maids.

Not really but people had this theory that it´s gonna be skinwalkers and everyone´s getting replaced or somethin

WHO THE FUCK ATE ALL THE CHICKEN TENDERS

Bruh, did you think they weren't going to be raped thrice daily.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Waitaminute, that doesn't make sense, I talk to /x/ at least twice a week. They can't be dead! Then again, they never call with the same number, so...

we've been infiltrated

call /k/

Spoil me?

Hey guys friendly reminder we have a nuclear inspection later on tonight! It's probably from all those piss bottles haha, anyway I'll be out at the time. Goodbye.

those are Shota traps user.

wait we have loli maids? Jesus user,Cleaning up after us is gonna fuck them up mentally and physically

>TFW the second american civil war just started

>Tfw Australian
>Tfw the rest of the mansion is out of sync with me
>Tfw making dinner at 4am and a bunch of guys walk in to make pudding and listen to Protomen

for fucks sake

I was hungry, alright?
Fucking only edible thing in this house that isn't Doritos, mountain dew or beer.

Someone call /o/, it's 1 AM and I want tofu

youtube.com/watch?v=19tJRo1TVXQ

Hey guys, listen, I replaced all the screws in Huey's walking gear with gummy snakes. It's gonna be really funny when he tries to walk and all the snakes fly out of the screwholes and then he falls down and breaks his leg.

Are you trying to imply that I have uranium in my urine? Veeeeeery funny, /k/!

>skinwalkers
I know just the man for the job.

/k/ is in the back yard, Though i think they are up to their shenanigans again because they are dressed up like anime and taking potshots at any one who comes out the back door

OH GOD /D/ JUST VORED MY ROOMATE

>Call /o/ to give my car a jump
>Phone rings twice
>Someone picks up
>EUROPEAN CARS ARE FOR POOFS
>-intense revving-
>HOLDEN CUNT FUCK YEAH FUCKEN OATH
>"click"

what the fuck

We JUST got the living room wall fixed from last time some bone head ordered tofu. You want another car in our house again?

REPORTING FOR L A T E N I G H T D O R I F T O

youtu.be/sIgc1eSuPMc

They aren't I checked

But I'm hungry for tofu

Rate my Cred Forums mansion party

We could sneak into Cred Forumss place and steal their chicken tendies.

Sorry Yotsuba, /o/'s gonna be out of commission for a little while.

Please take your time when you deliver the order,
there are a shit load of sharp turns and you /o/ bastards lose no speed when you take them and end up crashing

Can we get a new house phone? Cred Forums keeps prank calling us

Is he /o/kay?

is that a fucking OUYA controller I see? right in front of the gamecube?

Can someone set up a server?

Any new updates?

Oh what the hell? Some /u/ chicks went the wrong way again. They are kissing right in our front lawn.

Why did /k/ have to take back their binoculars earlier today?

Ever since the jews monopolized the Chicken market Cred Forums has been eating Tofu
wait
user you could ask Cred Forums

>implying

youtu.be/hWaPK8d4uZc

Don´t worry, i got your tofu right here.

Said he would deliver

so its gonna be a 4 minute wait.
im going to get the anti /o/ road stips from the garage incase he speeds through here

What about /r9k/, they're practically rolling in tendies

Attention all guests there have been some disturbing reports from the staff. This after having to rehire after the last time. All guests to attend a feminism lecture by anita sarkeesian. Further transgressions will lead to mandatory playing of revolution 60.

C-can i move in guys? :3

Why do I keep hearing screams and sobbing from the toilet?
What are you guys eating?

Eddy got another fucking buff.
Sarah's "I'll tell mom on you" skill tree is still fucking broken.
Double Dee got a slight nerf to his inventions
Kevin's bike got a durability boost.

d-don't worry guys I got this

They just call me a coalburner and says all my friends are either cucks or (((((((friends))))))

They also built a huge wall around their house. There's not even a door. Seriously how do they go out for groceries?

...

well last time /soc/ tried to steal from /r9k/ Every robot actually went outside to beat them to death with their shit clubs, so that plan is a no go

Fuck off Cosmo, you're not welcome in here.

OH FUCK

WHY DID YOU LET ME GO ON THE UNDERNET

RESET THE ROUTERS
WIPE THE HARD DRIVES
DOWNLOAD MORE RAM

Just yell praise kek and they will give you some. Religious people those Cred Forumstards.

doesnt /lgbt/ go out and get them food like every monday?

Underground passages.

KEK VULT

GUYS I GOT THE TOFU BUT I'M COMING IN HOT

STOP SHOUTING I'M NAPPING.

They've gone crazy, they've attached a water purifier to their rainwater collector now.
Something something 'chemtrails' they said.

BRACE FOR IMPACT

HES GOT TOO MUCH SPEED, HE IS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE /K/OMRADS

wait i thought they just bought water filters from alex jones.

Fucking cucktards, lmao

Wait a minute. Whats Cred Forums doing over there?

Here, use this.
Will help you win the battles easier.

Most likely creating a new weirdass cartoon fetish.
But at least now they use the dick containment field to avoid another accident like that pony thing they did years ago.

Guys We still have /d/ running around the house.
Now no one had checked on the dragon dildo traps, some one needs to because im sure as hell not gonna

How long has it been since we have seen Cred Forums?
3 years?

We have managed to recapture /d/ by sacrificing a Trap. May he Rest in peace.

Hey guys, some guy at the door is saying he has to do a radiation check. Should I let him in?

maybe we can get /lit/ to write a poem for him.

It's one of the Todds, don't answer.

Hey guys /vg/ here.
I really dislike the dismay in our kitchen so i devised a plan for a new sitting order, to keep everything tidy, what do you think?

They were on a quest or something.

Really? Because i´m pretty sure i heard futa cackling from the basement telling me to come down. Gonna check just in case.

FUCK NO

GUYS, IS THE PISSBBOTTLE STORAGE BEING PROPERLY COOLED, OR DID THE MAIN PUMP BLOW AGAIN?

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

FUCK

Let him in, he'll rape you and force you to eat your own underwear.

You can only enter the village if you have some profound regret in your life, and can only leave after getting past it. The monster haunting them was just a manifestation of the regrets that they were trying to escape from. No one actually got killed, the guy who went missing at the start actually managed to get past his regrets and got out.

Where is the other 50 of us going to sit?

IT NEEDS MORE CPUS!

On each other´s laps.

>le hawaiian is bad meme

I have nothing to play, fug

Hey guys, I'm gonna be pretty busy for about the next 12 hours, but if things go the way I hope they go, it's been nice knowing you all

Try emulating PS 1 games.

I was listening in to the police radio station and apparently they're gonna raid some big ass mansion filled with "fucking losers".
Let's find the place and watch it go down!

I'm gonna stab the next person I see.
*teleports into shadows*

How come everyone in this mansion is so bad at games?

Already done it with all fun titles
REEE

Don't leave a mess, user!

Choose a random long running series and make it a goal to get through it. Have a goal lends some meaning to your life and you'll be able to shitpost about said shitty series for eons.

Even Jumping jack?

B-but we played Dark Souls, the hardest game of all time!

Sounds pretty lame, like an unsatisfying orgasm. Glad I skipped it

Can I join?

Source plz?

I'll try this newer X-Com now, because whatnot

bitch, I can finish 1st stage of Contra with my eyes closed, and can play it virtually forever, this is how good I am at pushing buttons with good timing

Hey the police are here! Maybe they will give us a ride to the event?

Hey guys, they're some lurkers outside watching us. I tried to talk to them but they run, what do we do?

Sauce on the image? My research requires it.

THEY'RE HERE TO TAKE THE CHEESE PIZZA

FUCKING SCATTER

Sure, but you have to be good at building up your speed

SHIT THEY'RE DETAINING ME!! HELP!!!

QUICK!
MAN THE KATANAS!

This better not be anything horse related.
You don't want to wake him up.

Good. All you pedos need to be killed.

Goddamnit I knew decorating the Mad Thad shrine was a mistake.

You think they'd buy that it's just trap anons nvm tazed.

FUCK GET THE PISS BOTTLES! THEY WON'T LAST LONG WHEN THE SMELL HITS EM'!

come sit by the campfire!
youtube.com/watch?v=KRRGYEFZF4A

FUCKING RUN user
WE'RE THE LOSERS THEY'RE AFTER
RUN

Resident Evil fags need to get out and stay out, they keep running and fucking around the place like it's one of their games.

why is my tracer figurine sticky?

The Cred Forums threads were the best part.

my.mixtape.moe/veirsi.mp4

Anyone want to watch ponies in my room? Just Some S1 eps and chill, no fucking drama please.

Maybe quit locking every door with a three piece key scattered around the fucking mansion then.

> unironically enjoying shitty hypersweet canned pinapple

sure is underage desu

Sorry user, I sneezed on it

Sorry about that, soda fell on it while i was jerking off to the floor tiles.

Also why do we even have an underground laboratory? No one here knows how to handle any of the stuff that's down there.

What was that user?

Hey guys Cred Forums here, the Janny kicked me out. Can I hang with you lads for a bit?

I heard some unzipping, followed by "Check out this COCKney accent, Tracer!", followed by vigorous rubbing, followed by sneezing.

Make of that what you will.

That sounds fun but the last time someone watched ponies some guy just kept screaming about barney till they left the room.

Sure, what you want to do?

As long as you're alright with cart racers and Space Jam themed basketball games.

FUCKING OWWW

/fit/ needs to learn to not leave weights laying around on the floor every time he comes over! And that fucking creatine powder of his gets everywhere! I also saw him get a boiled egg (?) out of his GODDAMN PANT POCKET and eat it. Tried to confront him but he just mumbled something about "mad gains... aesthetics... fullnatty... praise Zyzz"

I know he's good for carrying PC's from room to room and all, but damn

Some fucker decided it'd be a good idea to hide 4 pieces of a stone tablet laying around that are needed to open up a chest with a key inside to the food storage room.

>night time comes around
>notice fire in the backyard
>stalkers and souls fags camping around bonfires
>stalkers playing guitar while the souls fags repair their cardboard weapons with duct tape
>some venture into the nearby forest while others return
Not all return.

He broke one of my controllers. Followed by "Sorry brah, don't know my own strength".

Would've been impressed, had he not broken it by taking a hammer to it.

>REfags have become such a high demographic in the house that the second floor and the basement are almost entirely impassable
>have to find three ancient disk pieces just to open the fridge and get milk in the morning
>weird statues and hidden doors everywhere
>one user is still missing in the vents after going looking for the red keycard

Play some vidya, maybe me watch the game tonight

>Tfw want to join the Stalkers
>Metrofag
>Every time a stalker sees me he screams about anomalies and tells me to fuck off outta the zone

reminder to stop cumming on power outlets, there are funny pranks and this isn't one of them

Don't forget that one wannabe who tried to recreate Necromorphs by duct-taping chicken breasts in remote corners of the mansion.

Shape Memory Alloy !!!???

>maybe me watch the game tonight

God damn it, I thought we got rid of all you unga bunga prehistoric fags

Sounds cool, what's the game we watching?

Guys, I'm having a girl over, please clean up all your shit.

>mfw found a space that's devoid of cum and blood
>can finally finish my backlog on my toaster
>right before sleep I can hear a cornucopia of disgusting sounds from /d/ or moaning from /fit/'s room

At least I have my games

do i have time to throw out my pissbottles?

boipucci

>He think a 20 will be able to buy teriyaki strips and 5 energy drinks
I'd believe the drinks are cheap but those jerky strips are fucking rip offs.

Can I see her penis when she gets here

OH MY GOD GUYS. I FOUND A BOMB NEAR THE SHIT JUGS.

This has to be the work of /r9k/.

Only if I can sniff her armpits

Can i at least mix up the pills in the medicine cabinet? My sides go to orbit ever time i see someone drop down and start shaking and foaming.

can i see yours

She is going to get raped you know. Like super raped.

A BOMB?

Anyone else notice the user in the dark attic that's been building up speed for 11 hours and 55 minutes?

Was any damage done?!

But user, I'm not a girl, so it's not feminine

Texans @ Pats

>Girl

Alright. WHO THE FUCK CAME ON MY CONTROLLER?

He's gotta go fast

Sounds cool man

>overwatch moved in couple of weeks ago
>pretty boy of rich parents
>people only like him because he can acquire good porn
>other day another guy called paladin moved in
>he's cool and fun to play with
>overwatch clearly butthurt
>I bet he can't even provide good porn
>dude shut up we're playing over here
>at least I have porn, haha
The fuck is his problem?

Don't leave your non-cummies controllers in the cummies controllers areas.

I know they're unmarked, but you should know this.

I-i just spilled my coke on it, really.

wanted: qt grill or trap for threesome

no fatties

Haha, it was me! I knew you would flip your shit!

/y/ told me it's okay if you say no homo

/fit/ said "nothing wrong mirin brah"

>tfw /woooo/

I'm going trash it with a stink bomb!

What are you tking about? I just went up there and no one was there

Two /fit/ traps here. Too bad you only need one, we really wanted to spoil some user.

Why is the battlefield guys having a KKK meeting?

kys trnany scum

I knew we shouldn't have let the undertale fags in here!

guys there's some guy in the back yard in his pajamas screaming "wololo".

what should we do?

That's OK, instead we can spoil this /fit/ grill I know.

I´m on his team now, back off.

What makes you think I'm one of them user? I'm freelancer.

I think I'm spiking his lunch again tomorrow

I'll frame this and post it on the fireplace mantle

if you agree please leave a like.
I'm doing it anyway even if you don't agree

Shit, rents due, who's going to pay it?

...

>paying rent

Psst user, what we hunting for?

'Member when moot was around?

You're in my way. Move.

fuck that's comfy. I miss high school, bros

WE'RE GOING TO GET KICKED OUT IF WE MISS IT THIS MONTH! IM DONE PAYING FOR IT. GOOD BYE!

>rent is due
That's in a week, faggot. Plenty of time to suck some dick and make cash.

Rabbits

Sell that autistic dude's ps4

I'm not not doing it this time, YOU are!

Whatcha gonna do?

That won't be enough. Also he's starting to get unstable...

You get clients, I'll suck dick. No /r9k/ neckbeards. Never doing that again.

Sure thing, i bet i can get some dosh out of /fit/. Just remember to say nohomo afterwards. They´re kinda anal about that.

You're.In.My.Way.

Yeah yeah I know the drill. "Brojob brojob choo choo~" that's what they like right?

Seriously that /r9k/ guy was so disgusting; fat, smelly, dirty and tried to pay me in Good Boy Points, whatever that is.

How about you suck my dick first

You wanna fucking go or what?

Why do we even invite him to our parties?

>good boy points

Dude those are really fucking good, you can trade them in for free tendies

...

I didn't. I thought you did?

>tfw housing with Cred Forums autists would be really fun

Only if you REALLY like joghurt.

I already told everyone I want t/o/fu. Where are they anyway?

Since everyone is autistic in this mansion...
Any one wants to come to my room and get ra-- i mean play pokemon emerald with me?

Hey guys, wanna play some bloodbourne?

GUYS COME CHECK OUT THE SHIT I JUST TOOK IT'S FUCKING HUGE

Shit, guys been crashing us since day one. Fuck him, not literally of course.

WHO THE FUCK FILLED THE TOILET WITH FROOT LOOPS?

Guilty!

I HOPE THIS ISN'T CHRIS' SANDWICH

Wasn't me, I was the guy who put tge bread loaf in there

Ah man, it smells! What did you eat?

I'm framing more pictures around the house.

Don't complain faggots

WOAH WHO CUT OFF THE POWER?

Alright, who hired the traps? Come on, fess up

>Gameboy Colour

Here you go, sorry I kept you waiting.

I think /diy/ wanted to try some electricity stealing device he built

MY GAME SAVES!!!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

you faggots forgot to pay the fucking power bill

It was me :^)

It was me of course

Dibs on the blonde girl.

We couldn't afford real girls?

>girl

I'm just trying to play Doom 3, fuck off.

It was the builderburg group, they couldn't deal with the amount of anti botnet posting that Cred Forums was doing

can I get some sauce plz

One of them is trying to get on me. I keep saying fuck off but they won't, someone want to take him?

So, since chad moved out, do we use the empty room as another PC room, or do we put up some consoles?

Was planning to work out in there.

Too late, already put my extra cum jugs in there

Nah mate i´m busy with the blonde chick.

LMAOing at all these console and pc faggots that need to be attached to an electrical outlet

Make it a room dedicated to hank hill

this place is really coming together.

the autism fills the night air

The room is currently in use, we're storing new gen console games there.

You can't deal with two at the same time?

STOP FUCKING TOUCHING MY SCALE MODELS I ARRANGED THEM PERFECTLY AAAAAA!!!!

GUYS WHY IS THE CLOWN WE HIRED BEATING ME WITH A TOOLBOX OH FUCK

we could use it to store everyone's cum socks

Oh shit, I sold them on ebay.

Alright guys enough with hiring all these traps. We get it, you're gay holy shit.

That's for eating my lunch when i labled it "DO NOT TOUCH"

Maybe, just maybe
I can be your boyfriend tonight, onii-chan

a catboi for every room

Genderbender > Traps

>Empty seat next to me
Am.. am I that hated?

They keep trying to get on my dick when I specifically told them I only like pussy, anyone want to take them?

Death climbed up the clock tower again who's turn is it to kick his ass out this time?

trannies get out

Hey guys I just recently moved in next door.

Just ignore the black vans and the cameras please.

hey bro, pass the controller bro, bro pls

He was alright but he kept inviting people round without asking anyone else.
This new Hiroshima kid is cool, although I saw him going through my folders n shit. Kinda creeped out.

>walk into kitchen
>see 2 fridges
>one labeled gamerfuel
>stocked with any drink your heart desires
>waterfag gets alerted anytime you open it and starts berating you when you take anything besides tap water from the faucet

Where'd everyone go? Bingo?

I wouldn´t drink anything white-ish from that fridge, user.

Think a lot of people walked to the store since /o/ fucked up, again.

Who wants breakfast?

Who let the fucking dog into the kitChen again!

no more gyoza! i'm fucking fed up with gyoza!

Take off that apron. And spread those legs

Magic isn't real

>Trapfags don't see the difference between an actual girl and a tranny

Happy Christmas Cred Forumsansion!
What did you get?!

...

Wash your hands real quick?

I'd like 4 breakfast sammiches and 40 bacons

Nice try, skele, not gonna trick me again

ok my hands are all washed but i just noticed you have an oculus rift mind if i try it out?

I won't tell you skeleton!

It's not christmas you fat oaf.

Couple od you motherfuckers keep eyeing me up because I'm black. Got a problem, meet me outside the gym.

go ahead and open your gifts anons!
THE GIFT IS ME

Are you guys in costume yet?
We still have a "date" with Saun Murray today....

...

Okay, just don't ruin it, okay?

Fuck you, I wanted to fuck that rabbit

I was under the influence, I swear!

I got the hammers ready!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

the influence of dat ass

user... there is a skeleman under your skin RIGHT NOW

lets roll

When are we going to actually start playing video games?

We were playing video games for ages now we're taking a break until the others get back from the store with more chicken tendies.

I'll never open it!

They had no tendies so we got nuggets, that okay?

I found a box of 5.56, who's is it??

NO I'VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES IT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME REEEEEEEE

Did you find a pineapple?

But they look like dinosaurs!

user, NO!

No, but I think I found one leaf.

Oh, well, that's fine then

Hey guys, you like the cosplay I made?

I can't stand cosplayers.

anyone up for some couch coop?

hell yeah i do

I'd be right happy to

The gyoza diet is over user

SHES NOT REAL. WHY EVEN LIVE.

9.5/10

>HAHAHAHHAHA A COUNTRY DOES SOMETHING DIFFERENT
get over yourself you pretentious faggot

...

...

Who's the faggot who keeps drifting in and out of the garage? I walk out there to find the fridge with a huge dent and hear eurobeat in the distance.

STOP
IF I HAVE TO BUY ANOTHER FRIDGE I SWEAR TO GOD

Goof luck trying to cstch me, cuz I'm runnin' in the 90s

Holy shit, guys. I just drank five monsters in an hour. I'm shaking real bad. I'm sweating, but I'm so cold... Is this what death feels like?