/brit/

feel like this is some sjw video

alri jan jan

...

>pls use my thread guys come on pls
Having school flashbacks?

reckon if things aren't going markedly better for myself in a couple years then i'll just pack it in

>thread wars
refined autism

Yeah I was thinking the same, some turbolefty feminist shite

THEY CALL ME LAMBOGHINI CHAUFFEUR LUXURIOUS

hahahahaha fuck off

you'll lose those 14 stone of excess weight in no time m8!

TOBIAS

did you accept a SIX HOUR collect call from the states?

will meme magic come to britain and create a ukip presidency

reheating last night's alfredo ..

hahahaha

...

foy

It was an emergency call from the International Drainage Commission in Springfield!

>presidency
FOY

Evening chaps

THEY CALL ME NEGRO9000

YES I'm American
NO I'm not fat

> increasingly turning to food to fill the void of depression

hahah UH OH this isn't good

lovely baps

no it's just tawdry jewish humor

youtube.com/watch?v=aZx5zfkG6oU

Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?

...

haha wanker

THEY CALL ME THE-GREAT-CORNLORD

never fallen this much in love in an instant and have absolutely no idea why

*eyes bobbing up and down involuntarily*

having a go

just had a k hole lasds

THEY CALL ME STARBROW

doing a think

giving my upmost

90s playlist is on

Just got called a klan member in Starbucks lads

are you a twink?

doing a wank

90s playlist is off

mental to think that about half of the large companies in America are owned by descendants of Russian/Polish Jews

hell the next president of the US was about to be a Polish/Russian Jew

working my hardest

So lads more than one woman at work has said they've had a dream about me (altohugh they weren't particularly flattering), what does this mean?

youtube.com/watch?v=XuFOgrDGeSM nice tune honestly

"""Mate's""" gonna be a disappointment again so I've ordered my pizza and I'm gonna have the crate of 1664 to myself waheyyy

Good lad

didn't know brits even knew what the kkk was

performing a task

wtf /brit/ you used to be cool

walking to the chipper

going crazy
pull up in mercedes

smoking a cig

heating a pizza

doing a do

tonight he'll be shagging her seven ways to sunday

it's because as soon as we mention islam being bad (((left-wingers))) start screaming about the ku-kulux klan

>break up with the gf
>I-I'll never love anyone else aside from you
>a week after breaking up she's literally dressed like a Kardashian worshipping slag and off to a club
>also has a tinder

I'm sure she's getting rooted as we speak but I have to be honest it's put me off her even more. Not a fan of this gf malarkey

eating alfredo

The KKK is world famous buddy

been thinking i should stop all drugs
like its not worth it

crikey

Her boobs are well big

they both look weird

are they aliens wearing human makeup?

building a foundation

... hey these bastards are preventing me from making singing videos ... presumably what they want ...

go get a new gf

digging beneath the surface

very normal shaped arms that guy has

Just got called an anti-semite in HMV lids

being a be

foundating a buildation

they're brummies so yes

Might buy some make up and a wig just to see what I'd look like as a girl

5 (five) facebook notifications lads

you are yourself doing this?

gf has 32Es lads

>janny is clearly about
>leaves both threads up

beyond fucking useless

I did that, I looked quite pretty ngl

like what if i die while still having drugs in my flat and people find it. ill forever be remembered as someone who had ketamin in a shoe box instead of someone who was who he was

This runt again.
>Clearly over maintained facial hair
>Fucking PLUCKED eyebrows
>Gay undercut haircut for fuccbois
>Feminine face
Why do you keep posting him? He's infuriating

man has definitely had his brows done and is wearing foundation

very interesting

Tim really is a hollowed out husk of a man isn't he

I wonder what he was like before the schizo set in?

a comedic institution indeed

how was it?

You should put on a bikini too and take pics haha
you know for bants hahaha

got called a pom twat in walkabout lads

give us one haha

Nice. Got a feeling I'd look quite good too, just worried I'd get addicted and become a full blown tranny.

got given a pomme frite in cafe rouge lads

sat in my room reading about quantum mechanics and i heard some normatons walking by shouting about "red dead redemption on xbox"

LAUGHABLE how intellectually superior i am

My ex had 34E, was fucking lovely to come head and just rest my head on them

that's all your posts are about too though lad
Drugs seem to define you
You're a shell of your former self

Got a couple of dates set up

I'm just irritated that she's such a liar, it shouldn't bother me but it does

Latex gf..... desu....

WHERE

THE FUCK

IS MY PASSPORT?

>break up with someone
>complain about what they do afterwards
get a grip lad

having a have

I would turn this runt's non-existent receded jaw into fucking fairy dust if he ever entered my line of sight.

youtube.com/watch?v=eIN9F7y1enE

cracking bance tbf

>tfw there's a girl I desperately want to fuck senseless but I have a gf
>had the chance to fuck her before I met my gf but didn't take it

pretty fire
i cant really word what happened but it was real weird

i also like other stuff but it wouldnt fit the thread innit

fuck her m8

I wore a skirt and blouse, I was turning myself on a bit. Not going to make a habit of it though.

over there

*points behind you*

beside your gay card

Funny how all these people are coming out to hating Trump now that he's running for President.
Oh, NOOOOOOW you think he's this and that.

Find it remarkable that the majority of people in this country plonk themselves down on the sofa and turn the TV on, and sit there for hours every day no matter what shite is on, they'll find something
twitter.com/Reece_Sanderz/status/769133868859453440

what other stuff do you like
we're all eager to find out

gf just sent me this

hey boy
hey girl
superstar djs
here we go

wew
alri [girl version of your name] haha

How do I attain this kind of physique?

youtube.com/watch?v=KEV3PWNMjLA

Never heard of ANY of those shows except Big Brother

>out last night with some mates
>girl who's been with her boyfriend for about 5 years out with us
>seen her kissing two random people in the club

feels bad lads

WEW

... stuff mate
just stuff
dont feel comfortable talking about stuff i like

literally know intelligent females that watch shit like ex on the beach

do NOT understand it
think they should lose the vote desu

Wow, depressing.

Grim as fuck.

Happened to me once at uni, some girl was following me all night and was buying me drinks.

Left the club and she followed and just kissed me and she ended up giving me a blowjob in a field.

Couldn't face my girlfriend properly for weeks.

anyone here have a record player they could loan me?

sure they haven't broken up?

Off to get the pizza lads
Apparently this place is a bit rough so hope I don't get stabbed haha

t. fresher

tell the lad

positive

they're engaged as well

need a website to watch films lads

so you're lying and the truth is you have no hobbies or interests that aren't drug related
your true colours have been revealed jacques and I'm not sure I like it

I reckon wearing girls clothes could be quite arousing if I am being honest
might try it sometime

how could you let this happen?

think it should be fully legal for people (more specifically just me) to murder anyone who offends or even remotely disagrees with them ('them' again being just me)

wew
you should tell him

Tired of wading through text just to get at the funny pics.

tell him desu
don't let sluts get away with it

*posts photo of passport with easyjet boarding pass and glass of wine*

off to #tenerife #travel #traveller #globetrotter #jetsetter #explorer

...

gf just sent me this

(author's note: I'm quite pleased to be able to use this gimmick again)

it's definitely not worth it with the guilt afterwards

jk mate
i like cinema, books, music, cooking, sewing nd other stuff
I just dont talk about it with others

Wonder what it would feel like to stroke his face

Mental illness can take a very long time before it comes to the surface.

youtube.com/watch?v=GygEAcFFMVs

what does bio oil smell like?

alri fannies haha did you get caught or something

she probably cheated on you as well and didn't have the nads to tell you, you're evens

eating an apple

ah yes, the alt-right

youtube.com/watch?v=7wtmk7RwDbs

can't really describe it
distinct smell but not bad

>sewing
AAAAAAAAAAAAA LOOK AT THIS FUCKING FRENCH BENDER LADS

>sewing

how does it feel knowing that there are people ITT that found Cred Forums/brit through reddit and facebook?

Wow, thought you meant they'd broken up. In that case tell him asap

autism: the thread

are women human?

Was the fact she was a complete cunt desu, I didn't just bin her because I was bored. The fact she can go out and be like that after 2 years says more about her than me

sounds pretty hot desu

How come you aren't obsessed with Trump anymore?

thought this was spock lol

p.s. new name inspired by the captcha: chris diesel

What exactly is wrong with Tim lads?

He seems a bit off t b h

primal fear was one of the better remakes tbqh

>sewing
bit gay innit

youtube.com/watch?v=gUljKNAfKgE

Literally what is the point in countries anymore now that multiculturalism is a thing? What are countries now other than political tax boundaries?
You go traveling to other places and everywhere is just the same

>It's been almost ten years now, I have no recollection of how I found this place.
>Told myself I'd leave at 18
>I can't even remember what it was like being 18

time to suicide?

there is absolutely nothing wrong with him

the dentist is just messing him around and he needs him out of business

Question: do you lads think having had a lot of sexual partners is the same for both genders?

What does time smell like?

yes
im quite good at it

*posts photo of legs on the beach*
had worse Fridays [sun emoji]

There is a black man trying to speak to me

me and the girls on our night out

Greater London is statistically black

...

I found it off funnyjunk around 2008/9 desu

>tfw i found it from wikipedia when rickrolling became a thing and i wanted to research into how it started

just blacked up and keep harassing this little fat kid haha

is that a tranny club or something

lookin good girls! xo

would shag 2, maybe 3

youtube.com/watch?v=lwG6vD2vP8A

me on the right

you don't like your new stepdad?

I like to think of myself as tolerant and not bothered about people like this but whenever I see pictures like this something inside me gets a bit mad and disgusted and think it's wrong.

It's like an inner old man comes out in me, I don't know why.

me back left

>the one at the back drinking a pint while everyone else has women drinks

banter

youtube.com/watch?v=mKelPiDXEwc

twitter.com/sheplaysalone/status/777227445019742208

haha was really worried one of these (back right) was my dad but i realised it's all women so it cant be

look really similar though

...

*gets a black and white tattoo of a rose on my forearm*

*snaps fingers*

excellent film t b h

is david Cameron stepping out of politics all together now?

Yeah, he's going to write his memoirs and then go into public speaking.

Tony Blair 2.0

got a brick shithouse in the garden

How do I get a Chinese slag gf?

*cracks knuckles*

ah yes an American conditioned to accept comercial shit as "excellent"

aha, hmm

standing in someones garden at the moment

i'm a brick shithouse btw

you mean equally shit?

>can you call me?
haha yeah 1 sec
*does not call you*

*whistles*

Missing home tbqph

hot stuff coming through

be black

what is this thing

*keeps things ticking over in midfield*

drunk somali woman once stumbled into my garden

twitter.com/OFFICIALSOSOLID/status/777077441164697600?s=09

British police are becoming yank tier except more autistic

Even rorke cannot defend this

*posts photo of 3* hotel pool*
average monday

Go to Birmingham University, it's full of chinks there

lol banter

a fat and bloated woman wearing too much makeup

May I save this?

I could easily dismantle a brick shithouse with a sledgehammer

literally lost it at this post well done lad

tell us what happened lad

*puts a twelve inch blade against your throat*
you work for the dentist, dont you???

drunk somali woman once stumbled into my garden

Greater London

...

>gif

fuck off

Bet matty didn't get any chink gfs

Got one of the new five pound notes today.

Very impressed by it to be honest

Was waiting for him to start REEEEEEEEing

who the actual fuck gets this worked up about a few literal chinks dying a hundred years ago

need their heads testing

eh?

*Slams out a piano solo and sings a rendition of Hey Jude for the seventeenth time today calming you down*

It's okay Tim, I'm just a dentist, it's DHL who want to get you

>pull someone over for driving on a suspended license
>they get lippy saying "nah senpai it ain't me bruh"

I'd be fucking agg too

>go to hospital
>the receptionists are all female
>nurses are all female
>doctors are mostly female

why can't women just stay in the kitchen?

leftie nonces thinking that all lives matter

Lil nigga should've gotten out of the car

gave some fat nonce a laminated bit of monopoly money and told him it was the new fiver today

he seemed well chuffed lmao

Don't care about a few Indians 2bqh

Would be more outraged if he sacrificed the lives of Britons just to save a few Indians.

the gas chamber in my fridge once exploded and I had to quarantine the entire lower floor of the house

fridge was old so the gas was toxic

>that one attention seeking cunt in every freshers halls

be a literal poof

appreciate the long-awaited return of this gimmick

...

should have said you had a problem with your dick and got her to give it a quick examine

I have mastered my command over the English language; for he is my puppet and I am the puppeteer

Honestly a literary genius

"you haven't got a right to drive"

Bit autistic on the bobbies part but I'd assume the lads licence has expired and he's refusing to exit the car.

One of the Kardashian slags?

Actually I'm 24 and have my own place but normally the misses cooks so I don't get take-aways often
Place was actually pretty nice tbf

Even the runtiest facebook runts I know of who would actually go to Tenerife wouldn't post this

The worst offender I've seen is some girl posting pictures of inside Disneyworld Florida in some oriental style bit with the caption of "off to do some exploring"

Even then, she didn't get that many likes because at almost the same time a lad posted pictures of the Great Wall and Temple of Heaven because he was actually in China and ended up getting a load of likes, despite being one of the quite lads at school and the girl being one of the not so quiet ones

Would you suck off Simon Cowell for £10,000?

Just embarrassing. He's behaving like an absolute child.

fuck the police

>it's only good if it's an indie art house flick

*tips*

fingered her outside Sankeys

did the nazis build it?

oh
well enjoy your food then
glad you didnt get stabbed x

I used to be a hardcore memebase browser and a friend of mine literally said "Cred Forums slash bee has all the latest memes"

Cheers mate

I once beat EIGHT men in a particularly rambuncious pub brawl, permanently disabling 3 and iirc eating 2 of them

>probably dreamt it 2bh, but constantly recall it as fact anyway

had to be sara 2bh she's a fucking mong at the best of times

might go out in manc and try and shag her just pretend to be a commie

what should i eat tonight

same here
there was some tranny on the telly talking about the tranny that's in the Army and it made me annoyed for no reason

>memebase
im still a valued member of the memebase community

the gas chamber in my arse once exploded and I had to quarantine the entire lower floor of the house

kebab was old so the gas was toxic

Same la

Remember dsend lmao

only niggers and pakis have a problem with rorke policing methods

Me john thomas is all swollen up xx

pasta

My pussy :3

how is that autistic you fucking pleb?

>damage control

my arse

where did you imply this from
>it's only good if it's had lots of money and sponsors put into it
litterally the definition of pleb

>Leaked email reveals Israel has 200 nukes

thoughted a thunk

yeah that was me and my seven mates and all over a spilt pint too everyone thinks your a wanker for that mate

No wonder Cromwell smashed such a mentally feeble race of runts.

that's why america is too afraid to steal their oil

I don't go to Birmingham but there's still a lot of them at my uni

They almost exclusively hang around in packs of other Chinese

Even the British born Asians hang around in packs of British born Asians

Cromwell also killed a king for no real reason.

He wasn't a saint 2bqh

*catches them in the air and defuses them*

time to put my feet up

>who the actual fuck gets this worked up about a few literal chinks dying a hundred years ago
The sort of people that wave Soviet flags unironically.

200 that we know of and they also have the most advanced missile defence capabilities in the world

Ah yes, the friendly jews are definitely not planning anything

This pizza is fucking immense lads

>america is too afraid to steal their oil
America is literally a Jewish puppet. This is accepted and acknowledged by anyone who has a shred of political knowledge

>live in a small town
>probably won't see them for YEARS

alri

shouldn't eat halal meat

t. irish immigrant

I'd say yeah, then bite it off and stamp his fucking badger head in.

Yeah I'm good mate, you?

Just finished an aldi BBQ meatfeast pizza and i must say my tastebuds are pleased

>mfw some utter RUNT claims cold pizza is better than warm pizza

I live in a tiny irrelevant northern shithole lad and withdrew one from a Tesco cash machine.

I reckon they'll be everywhere

>America is literally a Jewish puppet. This is accepted and acknowledged by anyone who has a shred of political knowledge

>America is literally a Jewish puppet. This is accepted and acknowledged by anyone who has a shred of political knowledge

Go back to Cred Forums you fucking Nazi

Fucking HATE Nazis t b h as any good white man should

jews let them have their fun invading middle eastern countries to make israel stronger

don't see any reason why they wouldn't want them to invade iran they just wont do it cause america will get nuked

>huntingtonshire

is this the only rural county?

ahh yes
talk about fast food
all the while i shall be preparing my quorn ""pepperoni"" sandwiches and pasta for work tomorrow

Read up on Mordechai Vanunu. We've known Israel has had nukes for decades.

>feeling over your coarse rough hands after a hard day of manual labour

...

>asked politely to get out of the car
>doesn't
>surprised when they use force to get him out

how do you know what his flag is?

Did get concerned a bit when I found out matey who owns it's name was Naz but even he was white haha

Nice one, probably wasn't far off of this one. BBQ with pepperoni and meatballs

Reckon Lincolnshire counts too, right?

ate a leftover kebab for brekkie this morning

memes aside you have to admit that DOES look pretty badass

>America is literally a Jewish puppet. This is accepted and acknowledged by anyone who has a shred of political knowledge

new

Sometimes u gta show ur the head nigga in charge

OLD NEW THREAD

Business idea: ban an IP from posting on the rest of the boards within 24 hours of posting on Cred Forums

You're not obliged to get out of the car btw.

ah yes, no one should be concerned about this
or their secrecy and treacherousness in general
i hope no racists disagree with this
remember how many died

which tiny irrelevant northern shithole
I live in a tiny irrelevant northern town but it isn't a shithole
I might have to try at the post office cashpoint that dispenses fivers tomorrow then

Honestly don't know why you'd bother being in politics at all if you were as rich as the Camerons desu