/cum/

lemony snicket edition

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=5k293MR--EE
youtube.com/watch?v=r1Vwy_lgyuc
m.youtube.com/watch?v=VHiYWWHChKw
unz.com/isteve/great-moments-in-google-american-inventors/
youtube.com/watch?v=JGqYJAi2eZA
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Nebraska

excellent post

Coahuila

>Hillary's super pac bought Cred Forums and will shut it down solely because Cred Forums kept making fun of her pneumonia

*brrrrrrrt*
It smells like shit in here

wtf gf SenT ME this

What is your deep dark secret /cum/? Something your ashamed of?

I unironically watch teen drama tv shows like the vampire diaries and enjoy them. I use to watch them in secret but I'm a 24 year old now and nobody can judge me because I live alone.

plz no

Fuck. I'm gonna have to find something else to do when I'm bored if this shithole gets shut down

***REMINDER***

This should be /cu/

Don't associate yourselves with Mexicans

What meme is this?

Seriously what's happening?

He's not selling Cred Forums false alarm

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Cute

I almost smothered my little brother when we were kids.

FOL

mexicans are the zesty spice in our /cum/

Why is there a yellow pixel on my flag?

SARS

I must've missed the part where we allowed Limeys to speak

>have a cold
>no class tomorrow
guess what I'm gonna do

Kek, jesus

fuck outta here

no you're cute

thpain'd

Well what is he doing?

I tried to put a dildo in my ass once

so this friend of mine recommended me to pimp a butterfly

>asian tinder match unmatched
Oh well, she was kind of boring and basic 2bh

>having classes on friday

>8AM World Lit class I chose to take, only class of the day
>Attendance isnt even mandatory, just do the quizzes
>get to listen to my roomate and others shamble off to class at 12 while I read
my fridays are great

Asians are gross bud

youtube.com/watch?v=5k293MR--EE
Based extended 12" versions

...

so you did or you didnt?

>friend of mine met his gf of 4 months on tinder
>I can't even make an interpals account
suffering

Didn't

for some reason, my school only schedules civ classes at 8 in the morning too

who the fuck wants to get up that early for notes?

goodnight /cum/

he went to the same highschool as I did B^)

I dunno. Getting up early hasnt been a big deal for me, I've been waking up at 5:30 since elementary school for school

Goodnight

there's a man outside your home

invite-only forums are gay

>tfw gone my entire internet career without registering for a forum

windows 10 sure is wonderful

youtube.com/watch?v=r1Vwy_lgyuc
OFFICIAL thread theme

>he never got invited

Birthday in 3 days

Gonna get drunk alone

Popular forums are over-moderated and populated by people with a reddit tier sense of humor. Some obscure ones focused on niche interests can be comfy and informative. Still, fuck going back to a traditional message board. Anonymity is too addicting.

I don't like a lot of Trump's policies, but I can't stand this cucking anymore

Don't know what to do desu... :/

WHERE ARE MY MEMES!!!!!!

>captcha: tree frog

Blasting drum n bass lads

cum lol

Vote for him anyway.

*trips you on your way out*

there he is there he goes again

...

me recording

MAXIMIZE DONG

>interpals people have photos of them with big groups of friends or on mountains
>just have some gayass selfie
JUST

>Cred Forums circa late 2000s

I must have watched that .gif cycle 10,000 times

...

>they chose fugly ass JLaw over bringing this goddess back

damn shame. a god damn shame

>mexican universities

...

i know wtf

me

El chileANO

he's actually the commie mexican kek

excellent post

>tfw the alcohol won't make the feels go away

Gf literally invited me to some Christian Bible study group , I forgot to bring my fedora though, will update when I hear ridiculous things

>crying after you drink enough alcohol

>you will never smack rebecca's jiggling ass

3bh I wish I could cry, it seems like a relieving thing to do, but last time I cried was over a decade ago, I doubt I'll ever cry again, except maybe on my deathbed when I realize just how much I've wasted my useless shitty life.

>tfw I look like an average normie but no one knows that I love chinese cartoons

>IDs will fix this board

There are people who actually think this.
Show yourselves so we can ridicule you.

I really roll with the liquor. I don't like crying but I make myself do it because it's sort of like taking a giant shit. The relief never lasts, of course, but like taking pressure off your brain by drilling a hole in your skull, it helps.

>Cried at my grandfathers funeral
>havent cried since
>eyes well up, and there's pain, but no tears
really makes you think

When was the last time you donated blood /cum/?

...

I've got a date tomorrow evening. It's a double date with a girl my friends are trying to set me up with. I haven't been on a real date in a long time.
What do I wear? Do I try and kiss her? Should I pay for her dinner? What the fuck, I'm freaking out.

Look guise, I created a secret message XD!

flags were bad enough

I'm not allowed to

...

My blood is poisonous, so I'm not allowed to.
No, I don't have AIDS or any shit.
It's just poison.

I'm not allowed to either because low blood count.

>My blood is poisonous

?

The fuck's in it?
Are you a C+ blood type?

really made me think with this one

Holy shit it's real LMAO

May I think.
I'm O negative and get calls from the red cross every other week reminding me of when I'm eligible to donate again.

>Poisonous
>HIV-free

Story?

Fuck, I havent been sick in like 4 years. I can feel it /cum/, this is the big one

>Soft core porn

What's even the fucking point?

I haven't but I really want to one day. However I want to make sure I'm perfectly healthy when I do.

That said though I feel like I won't help out lots or be on high demand. I'm A+ and that shit is barely compatible with anything.

In high school

its been years and the VA blood bank still calls my house every single day

they really want that A- blood

*invents peanut butter*
suck it whitey

Huh? A positive is one of the most common blood types there is.

Give me advice, I'm shitting my pants here. And she's super hot too.

a black man invented the peanut too

fucking faggots
i could beat all of you if i see you irl

...

try me, lil nigga. i'll make you my bitch in front of everybody.

like 6 months ago, to a friend who suffered a car accident, he died tho :/

Not me though

...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=VHiYWWHChKw
>1:20

this is mexican google.

ps: im not a chicano, I dont even know spanish

unz.com/isteve/great-moments-in-google-american-inventors/

read this shit. its actually mindblowing.

Any orphans here?

>put more american focus on blacks
>put more mexican focus on whites

What did (((they))) mean by this?

Amerifat is cute! CUTE!

Literal social indoctrination holy fug

*whom

>universal donor
>never donated
>just discovered i might have disease that will force me to donate blood or die
guess i have to be a good samaritan

I'm not fat, I'm heavily built and comfortable with my life choices, which I was born with.

just busted a fat organism

should i shave /cum/?

Mexico is a third wheel.

youtube.com/watch?v=JGqYJAi2eZA QUIERO LA PINCHE BOLITA QUEESTOYPAGANAASRSAASRSADASD!!!

Yes. You look handsomer without it.

yes, and facial hair should be illegal

they said aussies were ugly. they lied.

never heard anyone say that

i personally don't find her attractive

Fucking pitbull face. Ugly fucking cunt abo bitch

When are american ellections supposed to happen?

WHAT will happen?

I honestly want to see trump win, but it will fuck my country up so i have to root for Hillary.

Anyway who i root for doesnt matter since i cant vote.

November 8th
Lots of chaos and butthurt either way

>implying you wouldn't gas 26 jews to get up in that

let's be real

ew icky gross

Why?

Whoever wins I don't care much for (well, I honestly want Shitllary to win, but at the same time I feel we're all screwed either way), what I fear is that we get to see another Brexit situation.

Not so much the status quo being broken, but more all those attacks against people of a certain race or nationality (people were getting beaten up for not leaving, and it wasn't just arab people).

If you have facial hair it means you are no better than a dirty hippy

are you guys ready for this friday?

was that hitler's real motivation?

?

I kinda do, i dont wanna see more of that retard anti trump propaganda here in mexico.
Not because i support him but because is retarded.

Like how news say the dollar is $20 now because hillary got sick, and that anti-wall commercial that talks about jobs and other stuff instead illegal immigrants.

Because you can buy a fucking razor for 3 pesos (12 cents).

yes, consider yourself pilled

I need a black gf so fucking bad lads, it literally hurts.

Why THE FUCK did I have to be born a fucking CHI?

Keep it, ignore the ladyboys who obsess over anime and traps ITT

It means you are alpha and have god tier genes.

You can get one.

Same. I'm honestly just sick of Trump overall, wether it be for or against him. (He's still a fucking retard and it's sad a literal murderer seems more fit for the job than him.)

We ARE stronger togheter but I agree that ad is just cringeworthy. Not as bad as the time they tried to make a cumbia out of our anthem, though.

delet this

You are latin, go for an afro-latin girl.

>THICC azn didn't match me
killme

>supposed to go for coffee or something with a policeman and social worker cause they think im a danger to myself and others and at high risk
>said they'd call sometime this week
>still haven't called
hopefully those normie fucks just leave me alone

Asians are gross

I can go with you if you want.

t. chicano

Do you have a mental illness

Is no one gonna talk about how Snicket was a great character

Does /cum/ even know who he is without googling?

Literally who

those were my favorite books through elementary/middle school

Shame the movie was shit

Me and the gf

That's a straight up lie.

I wish I could, but afro-latins tend to come from places in South America or the Caribbean and we only get Mexishits.

I might start saving up to go to the Dominican Republic or Colombia though, thanks for the idea.

Good night cummies

He's the ingenious fucker who made pages black

Why not a black girl from the US?

me and your gf

but you live in mexico...

i dunno i guess
or maybe it's everyone else

t. Winnipeg

...

IT'S BEEN 10 MINUTES WHY HASN'T SHE RESPONDED YET

Blacks here are pretty racist towards spics like me desu.

Fuck them, do it anyways.

I hated everything related to those novels when I was younger

w hat the fuck

My first gf was black and I broke up with her because my parents didn't want me to date black girls.

t.chi

So you got a boner?

That's sad tbqh, how'd they confront you about it

How many confirmed chikANUS post here?

25 minutes until prime chimpout

Was it a secret relationship?
Did you fuck her?

No, I'm a proud Chinaman and along with me and my fellow country men don't get off to disgusting fetishes like the new worlders.

its chilly out

26

50% of all US flags are CHI

I've tried, but I'm an unattractive beta male, and couldn't get ANY gf, much less a sexy, THICC, ebony goddess.

I love my parents, but I wouldn't leave a gf just because they didn't like her. It's a bit rude.

do you have a single fact to back that up?

Good

i wanna fuck that rabbit

I guess it's wrong to say they didn't want me dating black girls, but I got sad because they bullied me.
I just told them I got a gf and she was black and they started to laugh and call her negrita and say I had jungle fever. It was kinda /lat/, but IRL. I couldn't take the bantz and ended up breaking up with her.

No.

THIS PICTURE MAKES ME UNREASONABLY MAD
DELET THIS

CHICANOS OUT

Why is the entire website going apeshit over a tweet saying I'm sorry?

I'm in love with a girl from China, she works at a subways restaurant

Thinking about hoping the Navy tbchwyfamilia

What's your background

CHI

Because people are retarded.

Make me gringito

It has no context, so naturally everyone assumed the absolute worst interpretation x 10.

LE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hispanic dad, Mexican mom.

americans cant handle the truth
Tell me more about her! Have you talked to her yet?

So both parents Hispanic

South Dakota

mexico is an hispanic country
elaborate more

is a bad state

more like...South of anything interesting

>tfw no Certified Sandwich Artist qt
are you NEET?

We only talk about kites because her dad builds them professionally, shes a lonely girl but I cant seem to have her open up. I dont get opportunities to talk to her. Her typical saturday is playing piano and chess

-__-

if china takes over the US, come spirit me awayto holland pls

Liar

North Dakota... interesting?
Hmm...

Have you been to the motherland?

I dont get many*

What's wrong?

We're full though :^)
most of us are waiting for wilders to build the wall so you better hurry up if you still want to come here

Shit day?

Mook fucked up Cred Forums for a tiny bit

>Badlands
>serial killings made into a terrance malick movie

>south dakota
>corn palace

...

>family values
You mean like how the chinese tourists let their kids shit and piss on the floor in public?

Yeah a few times already, I can't complain desu although there are lots of CHINKS there
Have you tried to talk about her hobbies yet? Or maybe made her laugh?

it must suck being a chink in a yuro country

My mother is a first generation Mexican immigrant.

T.Asian dutch guy who always complains about not getting blonde pussy

And don't you EVER forget it.

So your dad is American?

no, i have social anxiety so i get nervous around her

she probably thinks im weird, her father would never let her date me probably

the comfiest show ever made

Well I'm juggling two gfs now and it's kinda hard and I feel bad about it. Add to that i have to live with all these annoying normie fucks bothering me 24/7. They want me to fuck some ugly girl we hang out with and one jokingly texted her that I was interested in her and she replied along the lines of "Yeah, sorry no." And he sent in some 10 person group chat to everyone and now I'm pissed some ugly ass chick I dont like isnt into me even though I already have two qt girlfriends. All I really want to do here is fucking study and do my work, i wish i didnt have to deal with the people here, wew

just picked 2 locks in a row feeling pretty good lads
need some more locks to pick now tbqh

>has two gfs
>complains about normies
kys

Are you practicing for something

Yes.

damn dude why did you do that to yourself?

they find you out balancing between gfs and you're done

You're a faggot

Congratulations

>TWO qt gfs
>complaining
I'll kill you

Why? I love this country to death desu
I'd join the army if I had to
SHUT the FUCK up huh
desu, she's probably even more scared of you than you are of her. You can always try fampai, you should talk to her next time you see her!

humble brag : the post

...

>I'd join the army if I had to
So what you're saying is you'd be willing to be drafted?

>superstition
>usa

Because Asian men are bottom on the totem pole, European cuties see you as femboys

utter philistine

I think exile should still be a punishment

im going to rob a sperm bank and guzzle cum

Then I'm a self loathing normie, rather I had the company of people itt

I'm not sure why, I decided I will have to pick one soon but honestly I feel like I love both.The major difference between them is one makes 100k a year and the other just started college, that may be the deciding factor. I'm an absolute idiot

Please do

The ugliest girl just rejected me and all my "friends" here have it cemented in text, I've got little to be proud of right now but you're a right I did brag a little about the gf situation although it's honestly killing me inside

and get all the women because im tall like them?
naw it wouldnt be fair to you desu

I guess, idk, i dont know if i can handle a relationship

thanks

thinking of breaking up with my gf lads

dude obv go with the 100k one
>job security
>free shit
>not subject to brainwashing of uni if they're cool

Do it, one more qt single Canadian I can get to suck my dick at a club toilet

sup guys

Yeah, there's not anything wrong with that right?
No problem user! You sure can, good luck!

desu, i'll just find a short qt I guess
Come on user!
Have you spoken to the qt at the 4k run yet?

I love Miranda desu

ew gross buddy

Not really, it's just an odd thing to say

good evening, pooman

Bjs in the club toilets are the best

That's the practical choice but I feel like the other girl would have a very rough time if I broke up with her

Nigger

>4k
you mean 5k :^)
no, but tomorrow night there is a race during night but we wear glow in the dark paint and stuff, so maybe ill meet a qt hopefully.
desu lately ive just been feeling super autistic.
also have an luck on the job?

Don't do that to yourself man. Go for the 100k

jaredo from el subway

I am a sentimental man, I tried to reach god with just one hand (8)

I'm going to feel evil for it, never knew I was such a bad person

You're good for realizing it's a bad thing I guess, but it's the right thing for you right?

Weigh your options and write them down if you have to.

The 100k one is much, much more secure. Mature and less likely to cuck you

I'm thankful for this country and if this country would get attacked I'd join the army and defend this country desu. My friends looked weird at me when I said some similair thing.
>you mean 5k :^)
wew woops :^)

There are probably other qts there too so if you don't find "that" qt then you can go for the other qts! Wish I could join you on the 5k t b h

I saw one qt (although she was a bit taller than me), they ate and when they were about to leave they walked past me and asked if i was the brother of my sister as they've seen her before

I said yes and some co-worker continued the conversation about how I look like my sister and I basically shut in and stopped talking and started blushing desu, it didn't even make it better that I was quite sick so I couldn't even try to reply and join in on the conversation

who /hyped for rick and morty season 3/

when?

>unironically watching Rick and Morty

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreddit!

reddit and maymay

I would rather have more court transcripts desu

are you drunk?

by the end of the year
no specific date yet
>everything i dislike is reddit
whats wrong with it
hm

We'll see, I just want all three of us to end up happy in the end

They are both fairly mature but the poorer one has bad anxiety issues, it's one of the reasons I'm afraid to leave her. They are both much more conservative-Cred Forums tier than me, they'd both kill me if they found out I was seeing someone else but I'm afraid the poorer one would hurt herself too if I broke up

hey man as selfish as it sounds it's not your fault if she hurts herself.

A lot of crazies will try to guilt trip you and say they'll kill themselves or whatever if you do so. Best to end it now rather than later when she feels more committed.

She's not crazy, I am for doing this too her. Feels bad

I dunno man just say you ran into some kind of emergency and can't make a commitment

don't we all

drinking pepsi out of a tea cup, atm

coke is better btw

if you lost your taste buds, sure

pop does that to us regardless of the brand

still pleb taste btw

>colonists would riot against stamp distributors and tax collectors if they didn't resign
>some people had their houses torn down
>people were threatened to be beaten to death if they didn't resign
>one guy wasn't allowed to dock until he resigned, but he wasn't even enlisted yet, so he had to send a letter in advance for his resignation before he could even go on land
>large majority resigned or quit their positions without any warning because the general atmosphere was so hostile
Pretty rude honestly.

My parents got me a fuckhuge bag of Swedecuck fish for my birthday and I ate so many it feels like lead is sitting in my stomach

>pop

lads i saw a fella with a burzum shirt the other day

pop is the correct term
soda niggers and coke inbreds literally kill yourselves

You're welcome

They aren't bad
your shit's gonna hurt btw
the correct term

soda's wrong btw

Fatty

Yeah, it's pop bucko

its SODA

its soda

Just what you do expect from a stupid pop chink nuggets faggot canadian

maybe if you're a tranny from commifornia

pepsi is anti-american

unless you hate your country you drink coke

It's pop guys, come on

>pop is the correct term
>soda niggers and coke inbreds literally kill yourselves

maybe if you're a tranny from Canada


>Coke
>american

they moved all their factories south of the border so they pay less costs

only non-whites get triggered when you call it "pop"

chicago here
no one says pop
wrong
t. zhang

>chicago
>like anyone gives a fuck

As you can see, the down home white americans generally refer to it as soda, whereas the leftists, non-whites and generally undesirables refer to it as soda or coke. Real america knows whats up.

You're confused

>leafs saying im not american
emmm fuck off

new

I did it guys--I registered for the LSAT!!!!!!

This December third will determine the rest of my life

is that lawyer exam?

Y-yes