/cum/

matricide edition

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vocaroo.com/i/s06rr7eblVKR
vocaroo.com/i/s1Rvp8Ev1NWW
vocaroo.com/i/s0sA393BfNT2
sd.gafesummit.com/2016/
youtube.com/watch?v=7YRi-X6vMk0
youtube.com/watch?v=FLHG-D6Hmsc
youtube.com/watch?v=G_SXJ18EkNw
spankbang.com/rmyh/video/church girls
youtube.com/watch?v=0DrNgYSoiFI
youtube.com/watch?v=aGeFf_rIAVQ
vocaroo.com/i/s0DAMEbguaQT
youtube.com/watch?v=91lg3lQgEEU
youtube.com/watch?v=IxihL9JPqWc
youtu.be/xrkPe-9rM1Q
youtube.com/watch?v=3q8nGnls1Ow
youtube.com/watch?v=-gXrS6eKfjk
youtube.com/watch?v=X8WooPsxa68
youtu.be/wvAwr7Dv8PM
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

1st for anime

2nd for anime

...

...

Disgusting.

Reminder red people can't speak English

agreed

everything in blue should be carpet bombed

Green master race

Anyone in here has a far fetch dream that will never accomplish?
I want to be a professional figure skate athlete.

>tfw not in the blue
>tfw still call it pop
You just got smeckledorfed right there, bud

>soda

It's pop you...

I don't even have a word for someone so retarded and/or disgusting.

>pop

vocaroo.com/i/s06rr7eblVKR

I'll literally disembowel any motherfucking shitstain I overhear calling pop "soda" in real life

vocaroo.com/i/s1Rvp8Ev1NWW

What's poppin pops?

I want to be fluent in several languages and have a room full of books from China and the Middle East.

Soft drink.

Are you cool with a diplomatic "Coke-Pop" union?

vocaroo.com/i/s0sA393BfNT2

Carbonated beverage.

I mean, it speaks for itself

not that far fetched but I want to travel the entire us for a couple years, seeing all 50 states. Checking out new places, foods, and meeting new people

Fizzy drinks

I want your mum to stop calling me

cold drinks

Sounds like a stupid idea since it's all the same.

I have been to all 48 contiguous states, many several times

...

It's Soda-Pop.

...

Google is based in California, the center of the Soda menace

You don't honestly believe we'd be sheeple to your pathetic propaganda, do you?

how old are you?

sd.gafesummit.com/2016/

*cough cough*

youtube.com/watch?v=7YRi-X6vMk0

27

Did you like South Dakota?

Billy Joel songs always make me feel super nostalgic

I've been to Australia more than California

Everyone here knows that East River = Least River

I propose nous hagamos franspanglish our nouveau idioma. What do you disent, mes amigos.

Yes, the badlands are great.

why? What can you see in Australia that you cant see here?

Other than aborigines and kangaroos

>it's all the same.
That's just simply wrong. Almost every state has its own culture.

Je crois ça would work beaucoup bueno mon amigo

my legs hurt so bad from running and working out

Yeah, they're pretty neato

...

Something about contemporary doo-wop is incredibly cringey, but if you listen to that stuff from the 50s-60s it just seems natural. Must be the production or maybe men can no longer pull off that style of singing without sounding gay as fuck.

Bogans, koalas, and boldly displayed pornography at airports.

I know for a FACT they have hustler and Maxim at newspaper stands @ Sac international airport

American regions are somewhat distinct, but with the exception of Maine and the Southwest, particularly the 4 corners area, I found the U.S. to be very homogeneous.

If by "culture" you mean retarded, redundant, minuscule and meaningless differences nobody but a drunk hoosier gives a flying fuck about.

I like this meme.

Yeah, but yanks put porn magazines in plastic censor covers
Also, why do porn magazines still exist?

I don't like contemporary remakes of stuff like Jazz or swing or doo wap because it's not dance music, it's just in the style of it

Although that doesn't mean they can't be good songs, it's just not the same

The cringe must be embraced in order to enjoy it.

youtube.com/watch?v=FLHG-D6Hmsc

Though honestly you can't beat the real thing, especially the women groups which are my favorite.
youtube.com/watch?v=G_SXJ18EkNw

Because we live in a world where there are still 2.3 million AOL users.

had a wank to this

spankbang.com/rmyh/video/church girls

>smacks lips profusely
Are dogs niggers?

hiro is in canada

no wonder things have been going downhill lately

No, dogs are happy productive americans that make this country a better place

no wonder

Like you guys are any better. I'm not even stating this as a brag. I wish the country had more of a monoculture due to how stupid our political differences get.

I have noone to play baseball or shoot hoops with

>smacks lips
I smack my lips very often, am I a honorary nigger now? I have black neighbors from Mississippi btw.

>tfw I don't live in NY
End my life

Hi

youtube.com/watch?v=0DrNgYSoiFI

I live in NY, but probably not the part you want to live in

The Bronx? it isn't the 80s anymore mate.

I live in upstate

Can you take a pic of the view you have?

I will play baseball with you

I'm sure there is an inner city negro somewhere who will shoot hoops with you too

No. Dogs protect homes, not rob them.

Im a bit far from Canada

I got pickpocketed leaving a theatre in Brooklyn once, had my wallet stolen. People acted like I was an idiot for keeping my wallet in my back pocket, apparently all NY urbanfags know better.

Whereabouts?

Rule number one of a metropolitan city, never keep your wallet on the back pocket.

927 miles south of the border in BC

Where in CA?

Northern california

When will this shit end

here's something I took last winter on my old phone

Go to the closest community center and sign up for a rec ball team.

I honestly find lesbian porn so boring I can't watch it

man on man action is more your cup of tea, amirite?

As a kid I spent a summer in Redding once on a farm.
It was super boring, spent the entire summer killing these swarms of giant butterflies with a fly swatter pretending they were some kind of enemy army.

Found out years later they were Monarch butterflies, an endangered and protected species expected to go quasi-extinct soon and they were on their annual migration from Mexico to Canada. I must have killed literally thousands of them

I can watch solo woman, or man on woman. I can't really say why, but lesbian porn has never done anything for me

redding sucks. Ive been up there a couple of times and it was hot as FUCK every time. At least mt Shasta is kinda close by

Not bad, I've never seen snow in my life.

I'm the exact same way

>I've never seen snow in my life.

Can't really call it a life then can you?

I know..

>spanish band
>music in english
>singer is german
youtube.com/watch?v=aGeFf_rIAVQ
wew lad

...

I need new roommates

>sister randomly decides to make a fuckton of chocolate chip pancakes at midnight

Really? What part of Mexico are you in?

I'm gay and I can't watch solo anything, boring. Gay and some straight work, but solo is unwatchable

she is pregnant

>Not helping
Bitch grab some bacon and eggs

I could go for some late night chocolate chip pancakes

shame I dont have my car

I didn't know until she was done
I just went to the fridge and found like 12 fucking pancakes in there

From up north, the south has more vegetation with plenty of forests and even tropical jungles since it's close to the equator.

Call a taxi to IHOP lad

Everyone is different I guess

no can do

assholes charge 10 bucks MINIMUM for a 5 minute car trip

This has got me wondering

What would happen if you had a taxi take you to a restaurant, and then offered to buy him dinner if he hung around until you were ready to go home?

rented donnie darko buds
still one of the best jake films

Watched that movie with some fags from here, it had a freaking weird story line and ending.

What's good lads?

I find it really comfy for some reason

DEEZ NUTZ

GOT 'IM

I've never seen the appeal of Angelina. Brad took a step down when he left Jennifer Aniston

I watched it when I was 8 when my parents rented it and I remember liking the rabbit mask and the predicting where people go scenes. Didn't creep me out at all. Then I watched it again like 2 years ago and wtf

I had a similar experience with fight club except instead of noticing the creepy I just didn't understand the plot and now I do

My best childhood film memory was when my dad fell asleep watching Total Recall, and the part with the girl with three tits came on

I had no idea what I was fucking looking at

Daft

>tfw I've been stuck in Pallet Town my whole life
>tfw you will never get to the Europe level

Hey Jose, when are you going to start constructing the wall?

bet you've seen this kind of snow eh pendejo

I hate myself and eveyone else

When we're done building the bridge

I have a coworker from New Mexico who calls all soda "coke".

Sorry I'm not Jose.

Nope and you should consider suicide if you use that shit,

>that picture
Money doesn't fucking grow on trees

I like this meme.

how we doin tonight gentlemen

I'm still awake, so not that well

I cant go to bed because my roommates are idiots

studying for a test 2morrow, I am going to fucking fail it holy shit I don't understand any of this at all.

Subject?

eating these, lads

I got quasi-stood up by the same same person for like the fifth time
I say quasi because she's the one who invites me out and then she doesn't message me anything again after that
It's kinda fucking with my head
Today was her last day here (or one of her last days at least) before she moves to Cali

physical chemistry pls no bully

dude electrons lmao

>before she moves to cali

you dont say...

hey ill fuck her for you give me her number

I don't think you wanna do that, she's a single mom high school dropout

haha, and you wanted to date that?

are you just friends or are your standards that low?

No, she's just one of the few friends I have who I can smoke weed with, everyone else I know is straight edge

What do an apple, Hungary and the words "mother fucker" have in common?

waht?

they all have 2 vowels in each word

>
Hungary is one word

I never said it wasnt one word

Oh...

moshi moshi

Spent the night in redding amtrak station after falling asleep and missing my stop on starliner. Shot the shit with some blind punk chick and this black kid from detroit travelling the country after graduating hs.

Then when i went wandering around at dawn some big, fat redneck appeared for whatever reason, asked me if i smoked, i said yea, but don't have any, at which point he held out his giant mitt and dumped a heap of weed into my hands with shasta in the background. It wasn't bad.

...

I wanna make a manga but then again I'm bad at drawing.

WHO IS THIS SEMEN DEMON

Amtrak stations are weird. Ive met people who suddenly will act like we're the best of pals even after jsut sitting close by each other for 10 minutes, and another guy who somehow recognized me because I had his sister in the same spanish class in high school 4 years ago

like what are the odds

I never make real-estate transactions without first consulting my wife. Excuse me.

Youre excused

I live in the blue and call it soda. "Pop" makes me cringe, and calling everything coke is retarded.

>essentially just 3 months left of #gf2016

The write a light novel. lmao, they get anime adaptations pretty much at the same fucking rate as manga these days if not even more and it's quite literally just a fucking book. and LN artists are NEVER the authors. They don't really have a lot of images anyway.

It'll be a comic unless it's published in Japan.

>this will be the year, boys, the year everything changes

why do I keep lying to myself

Hungary has 3

vocaroo.com/i/s0DAMEbguaQT

>came close but backed out cause she had some weird ass daddy/needy issues

Just woke up lads
Listening to dj screw and dude weeding

SOMETIMES y

>le y is a vowel meme
It's the Pluto of vowels.

I love it.
Can only imagine some autist euros' horror stories.

The night trains are the best. Go to the viewing car and it's a low-key party.
Only fell asleep in that story because i talked my way into some girl's bottle.

>caring about female attention anymore

>this is at the forefront of your country's subcultural discussion

guess it makes sense that trump is a successful candidate for president desu

t. berniebrony

SOMEBODY

same

hear someone is a commie here

>I take /cum/ discussions very seriously

>Letters and not sounds are vowels meme

Our public transport and train stations are always filled with weirdos, drug addicts and mentally ill people. You get used to it, but sometimes shit is scary.

will you see the GitS movie cum san

I havent even seen the original movie(s) yet

No because Scarjo was in that shitty anti-Trump video.

>he thinks he's got his finger on a sub-cultural pulse by browsing the most normal general on the most normal board on the chon

Maybe

I found cute snake while mowing

me

want to go for a ride?

only out of morbid curiosity once there is a leak of it. It looks like shit however desu

To the >>/Gulag/ you go American puppet.

I have to go inside whenever I see a snake outside.

...

I meant re: euros getting triggered by american strangers acting overly friendly and familiar.

Your public transport and train stations are like literally almost everywhere in the west? Shocker.

Good post.

To be honest, the public transport in California was okay, judging by my limited experience besides some loud black women.

I also found a wood frog

When I was outside last night and saw a frog in front of me, I automatically said PEPE under my breathe.

tfw runescape double xp in 4 hours

youtube.com/watch?v=91lg3lQgEEU

I've jerked off to Halle Berry before

sure bud, just keep calling every 'subversive ideology' you encounter "bernie-tier" tier instead of an actual, honest examination of our political system right?

>Hillary has to stand during the debate
It's over. The election is literally over right now. Trump wins.

She could "break" her leg while saving a black baby from being run over by white supremacist meme-lovers. That way she'd have an excuse to sit and dumb people like the a big bunch of germans would believe her and celebrate her.

To be honest, the public transport in NRW was good, judging by my experience using it for several months besides some loud t*rk males.

Depending on which part of NRW you were it might even be true.

Why is the mexican president so angry

Primarily Bonn.

Cause he's got the evil in him and is about to show weedman how it's actually done "south of the border"

Bonn has the reputation of being rather boring compared to cologne, so I could imagine that the situation there is better than here, but even then there will be lines that take you to the fucked up parts of the town.

Well yea, it's super boring compared to cologne. Good thing it was only an hour away.

if Trump actually wins I might die of laughter, and I'm voting for him

What were you doing in Bonn? I know they have a lot of Museums and I mean as the former capital a lot of historical things. They have no real nightlife though, that's why they come here each weekend.

feeling like shit desu

youtube.com/watch?v=IxihL9JPqWc

damn it feels good being right? amirite?

I've been several times. First gf, then praktikum, then studying.
It's really a pretty comfy, mostly quiet town.
Nightlife was kind of a joke.

Did you like it here in NRW?

Loved it.
Nearly every minute.

Nice to hear. A lot of people have a bad opinion on this state, I mean obviously there are a lot of problems here, but we are still better than Bremen or Berlin.
Which US-State are you from?

anime

I feel like it's mostly memeing on the sylvester shit suggesting you've been overrun with migrants, ruhrgebiet being post-industrial and working class, and jealousy for being a top land, but i am biased.

California.

I have fleas, I can't go to sleep without feeling something bite or crawl on me.

I guess that's why you can deal with this, because california seems somewhat like germany, at least if you have a superficial look on it.
There are problems like debts and minorities, you also live in a more "left" state etc.
We have a lot of problems with immigrants and radical islamists, funny enough Bonn is known to be full of them. We can't deny that and I see a lot of problems because our current state interior minister is an incompetent dumbfuck.

forgot to mention that I had some people from I think Maryland over here and they were shocked, because of the situation here. I think they believed that germany was like 50s Bavaria or something.

...

WORDS THAT KILL, WOULD YOU SPEAK THEM TO ME?

AYYYYO REAL NIGGA HOURS
WHO TF UP?????

HIT THAT MF'ING LIKE BUTTON

Me ^_^

What are ya doing up this late?

Idk wat about u

i'm opp hihi

I love the USA & I love Americans

t. maker of good american love

Jetlag fucked me over

I work 3rd shift and am used to staying up late

thanks NZ ily2, there was a girl from New Zealand in my kindergarten class. A shame she eventually lost the accent.

How come Americans are so friendly and talkative? Like I'm baffled how friendly everybody I met was.

t. Tourist in Kalamazoo

Only white Americans are friendly

Americans are usually curious about foreigners and have an affinity for them. European ones in particular.

I'm exhausted.

Do mexicans prefer /cum/ or /lat/?

hardmode: name one good reason i should vote for hillary

mega hardmode: name one good thing obama has done for our country

16.10.2016

>10.16.2016
FTFY

>trying to make sense with americans
kek

GOOD MORNING /CUM/!!!!

WHAT ARR YOU DOING TODAY?!?!??!

fetti was geht

cucks

Studying for a Russian History exam from Catherine the Great to Alex III

youtu.be/xrkPe-9rM1Q

hahahahaha really gonna vote for hillary now :D:D

why does germany shill for hillary so much on Cred Forums

Haha awesome sarcastic post :DD Upvoted :DDD Reblogging to /r/germanhumor :DDDD

It's the elusive German """humor"""

kys you fucking scumbag

niggers

rekt

youtube.com/watch?v=3q8nGnls1Ow
Trip Hop 2bh

...

Good morning!

At work listening to . Later I'm chaperoning a middle school dance with my wife

youtube.com/watch?v=-gXrS6eKfjk
youtube.com/watch?v=X8WooPsxa68
Have some more
Sound Defects if you like the beats more
Emancipator if you want a more chill tone

Good shit, I'll check them out.

I've been finding more cool music through Youtube recommendations than I have since I first found Cred Forums years ago. I barely go there anymore.

this general really sucks

Cred Forums is cancer because they snub entry level bands too much and thus only the deepest genre bands are talked about. However entry level is what everyone needs if you're going to get into a genre.

/cum/-sama, ohayou gozaimasu~

I blame Cred Forums's tendency to circlejerk over taste in general with chart threads, pitchfork, last.fm, etc.

I'm not much help either. I can't really "talk" music in a very meaningful way, and that's what actually makes a decent discussion.

Is there anything more American than grabbing a breakfast burrito at McDonald's and then beating off to Taylor Swift?
My morning has been pretty comfy, ngl

>this is a 10/10 in burgerland
lmao

:(
How ya doing latvia

gonna be home in 2 hours
tired as fuck
want beer

how are you buddy

>This is a 10/10 in Bongistan

I'm doing a-ok buddy
Enjoy that beer :)

How do we fix American police

kill them

We can't do that

They've literally never done anything wrong

eye for an eye

They literally are killing innocent people

why do niggas don't do something so easy like raise hands and lay on the ground?

Morning buds

FUK DA POLICE HE AIN'T MY DADDY

>innocent

Criminal scum detected

Do you guys know anything about tattoos?

Yeah, we can get drunk and get stick and poke tattoos prison style if your down? Ash your cigarettes into a bottle cap then bobby pin them into your skin

They are taught day one to resist authority, or have no respect for it at all given that they come from single mother homes.

It's even worse now because their owners, the Democrats, are enabling them more than ever and the soros funded anarchy group blm hasn't gone away. Being fueled by white guilt millenials who live sheltered lives and enjoy virtue signaling more than anything.

I was asking because my gf had a tattoo idea and was trying to find out if you guys knew anything about what they meant

How does one raise testosterone levels?

You dont need to know that.

What's her idea?

Y-yes I do
Please tell me

Stop jerking off, do more physical activity

great to hear that lad

my tits are nice

A lot of powerful and strong men jo

man tits are NOT nice

Yeah but you're looking for spare testosterone. There is a reason fighters wont have sex while they are training before a fight.

Show me them man boobies

Where is footkraut

Stalking Asian girls probably

lowtax owns us now lads

>tfw no happy-go-lucky yank mate to take out for a curry and a messy night out in town

my dad takes prozac everyday

That's a good thing though right? I mean if he needs it

my dad takes xanax at night

yeah but still has strugle
he can't retire from work because he still needs to mantain some mistakes he did in the past and he is tired in almost every sense imaginable
Sometimes i whish he stop giving a fuck about everything and go to live far away for his own good

Ah I'm sorry to hear that m8

Have normies stopped playing Pokémon Go yet?

It's finally not making the most money out of any app, but it's still making money. This ""game"" is more mystifying to me than that CS:GO $1,000 fake gun paint shit.

top tier banter
youtu.be/wvAwr7Dv8PM

Ever heard of that app Ruby? I think it got banned, but it was basically just a screensaver that costed $999 so that rich people could have a pissing contest with it.

Why don't you all just move to Field, BC, like any sane /cum/ would? Smh desu lads.

...

Proud of you, bud.
But, only one breakfast burrito?
A taste of honey and all that.

What

There is a rape is not ok protest at my college right now
It's as memey as it sounds. Newscrew is here though

new