/brit/

it's EX-AYE-VEE-ER thankyou very much

watch Das Boot

or Apocalypse Now Redux

both very relaxing movies

My name is XAVR

eraserhead

> ฟินแลนด์
ฮ่า ๆ ไอร์แลนด์ไม่ใช่ประเทศภาษาอังกฤษ?

You see, Das Boot seems like a drinking movie like Beerfest, but I know Apocalypse now so I'm assuming Das Boot is similarly warlike now.

>lead actor
>John Nonce

shant be watching this

...

it's unironically one of the best war movies ever made

>John Nonce

Is it similar to U571? I kinda liked that movie.

>imdb.com/title/tt0141926/

>not watching kennys heroes

it's on a completely different level

I plan to watch it, Mr Falcon, just wondering what to expect.

I just had an interview at Greggs.

...

were you interviewed by 2 black lads?

were you racist?

No.

No.

Pepe is racist now, don't post pepes.

all me

racist

posted a pepe in greggs lads

...

youtu.be/XjpuU1Yk5Z8

like if you know this feel

share if you want this feel

(you) if you will never understand this

...

They had a really fit girl working there desu.

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
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| This will be the next comment trend. |
| Is this true? |
| ＿＿＿＿＿＿ ＿＿＿＿＿＿ ＿＿＿＿＿ |
| | Yes | | Maybe | | No | |
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...

Movies my dude.

.

KRYTON PEPE

...

ah yes, the """"so-called"""" alt-right

...

Post pepes
Post pepes
Post pepes
Post pepes

ah yes this "so called" "pepe" from Cred Forums.

nobody is racist outside of your little hugbox "pepe" so go back with your other 5 Trump Supporters and wait to lose the election

real life pepe

Arthurgetshissisteronomeglevideo.png

14/88 lads

was looking for this earlier
where were you

ftfu

literally in your fucking thread you ungrateful cunt

...

My 12 year old cousin was using omegle before. I got my auntie to block the website to stop any shit happening.

Didn't see you lad my bad
thanks anyway

Dirty muslim bitch just let off a not so subtle fart next to me lads

...

youtu.be/aS85AvLl9Ik

*whistles*

she's probably seen my willy haha

she was using the text bit

Slap some sense into her

Text bit on what, mate? :^)

...

nah

omegle

Never heard of it :^)

good post

what meme are you trying to pull here lad?

which meme :^)

/brit/? completed it mate

what was your 12 year old cousin trying to pull? :^)

hmm? :^)

my willy

When I asked her about why she was using it she said she was lonely desu.

loving this arthur posting

Me reading the FT

...

fuck off creetin

clipping the finger nails lads

bit rude

youtube.com/watch?v=9XrL_F6tnT4

the beard stinks, lads

stop with the hatepseech, okay? post a more healthy, family friendly meme like "dat boi" okay?

hi :3

edging right now

someone post their hottest pic for me to bust to

going to the toilet lads

you want anything?

LADS lads

had to rush here today to tell you. the gf knocked out a full grown man talking shit to me last night. was in the pub all night last night and this matey kept trying to chat up my mrs, i'm not the jealous type, and he wasn't being overly invasive, so i just stood and watched for a little bit. gf kept switching direction she was facing when he tried to dance with her, but he wasn't taking the hint, so I just walked over and placed myself in front of him and danced with the gf. he kept shouting inaudible stuff at me from behind, which I ignored.

Anyway, he pulled me round by my shoulder and got all up in my face, I was about to hit the guy but he he just fell on the ground, looked at the gf and she was flapping her hand about with an ouch face. anyway, she suckered the guy right in the side of the head he was literally making Z's on the ground

Marry?

one poo please x

youtube.com/watch?v=unW4GOJw4ro

...

me on the right

...

...

Put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel...

NUTS

Kind of funny but also cringeworthy how black American culture gets copied by white Americans and then copied again by Bongs

High test

kind of funny how america has no culture of it's own and just steals everyone else's

wath

Have to shit so bad oh my god but I'm in clas fuckkkkk

mirin bulk

Then how sad is it that Britain steals our lack of culture?

*whips*

...

AH YES THE CANADIAN MALE GIVING BIRTH TO A NEW NATIVE CANADIAN

Let me guess, she only dates men over 6'4"

On Omegle?

all culture is stolen from somewhere else

youtube.com/watch?v=JIVaUcE4kAM

gonna post this on her facebook page

>america has no culture
umm guess again sweetie

WE

Gonna shit my pants ah I don't know where the washroom is in this building fuckkkkkkk

a large poo is currently departing from my anus

>washroom
FOY

anyone for coffee?

*flicks on the aeropress*

the poo has fully exited now. felt fantastic.

EEL OF FORTUNE

while you're sitting there trying to be sweet and caring, she's getting her face pushed into a stack of cushions while some chad's giant dick is destroying her pussy
he doesn't give a shit about her, he just wants her body while you want her heart

...

now doing some loud farts and getting rid of the remaining poo.

...

...

the gf

*opens Cred Forums*
*scurries to /brit/*

fucking hell lads I almost read some other posts there for a minute

...

she looks about 47

rest of Cred Forums is shit

Got it out just in time lads quite a good feeling

I have stood up and am now wiping my anus

anus appears to be clean

on reddit right now arguing with a hillary supporter

they're so easy

Fucking hell lads

Some cunt in the next stall is trying to have a conversation with me

Asking me if I rate pogba and slammed the wall when I said not really

washing my hands now

when are we having our first meet up?

>i rate pogba

putting my socks back on now

any qt girls in manchester/stockport wanna cuddle up and watch lion king with me? :3

*steals one sock and scuttles back into his runt cave with it*

whatcha gonna do katie

>reddit

fuck off

SK9 ww@
how about a qt boy, I can wear a skirt if you want

you guys ever played wizard staff?

good post

>first

fill me in on how awkward the first meeting was

did you guys try and do /brit/ memes IRL?

daily reminder that Stoicism is the one true path to inner rest and peace from anxiety and greed

Stoicism, a school of thought that flourished in Greek and Roman antiquity. It was one of the loftiest and most sublime philosophies in the record of Western civilization. In urging participation in human affairs, Stoics have always believed that the goal of all inquiry is to provide a mode of conduct characterized by tranquillity of mind and certainty of moral worth

it'll do
no homo tho...

nothing says stoicism like a cold shower and 200 sit-ups lads

*stands proudly at my window front door completely naked*

ah yes

eels up inside ya
finding an entrance where they can

ah yes, very invigorating
feel like a new man

*has been summoned by OP*

vote labour

*grabs the broom*
out rat, out!

piss off

shoo shoo

fuck off nonce

On a serious note, might start off by taking cool showers then work up eventually to ice cold

*opens the door headfirst*
*upturns your desk*
*rips off your clothes and throws you over my shoulder*

I shall teach you the way of the stoics

Stay

*walks past window and glances up*
*breaks down in laughter*

Your upsetti only serves to increase my spaghetti.

my hot water system is shite so I just admitted defeat and take them

every morning is like a scene out of Requiem for a Dream

whats your favourite type of pasta

Strongly considering an afternoon wank

Had one this morning and it went pretty well

alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright
okay now ladies

grr I'm angry because you live in a foreign country

Spent lunch in the pub with the tights girl from work
Just stared into the distance and zoned out while she talked a load of bollocks about women stuff

nothing says Stoicism like linen pants and a high IQ

what do german wants smell like?

blimey what's he going to do next?

>no qt 5ft - 5'3 size 6-8 late teen/early 20s shy brunette gf
how do I live with this feel?

Dunno

>ameritrains

>how do I live with this feel?

take cold showers and reject excess

All I want is the company of a female, doesn't even have to be attractive or sexual, just the close proximity of her presence will do

It's all good.
Literally why I came here, for you specifically, remember that guy who lent you 30p at school and you never gave it back.. WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?

youtube.com/watch?v=d-i00jDTe8I

having a think of her....

>Labour's Diane Abbott claims ending EU's freedo of movement could be a disaster for the NHS

ah yes
all those polish doctors coming over here
very impressive

I have a 5'5 size 6-8 mid-20s outgoing curly-haired brunette gf

after the noon pupper
stay strong

the NHS depends on foreign staff because there's been big cuts in nurse and doctor training places

You can pay to hang out with girls

a lot of the doctors are pakis or indians though, not from the EU

daily reminder if you don't practice stoicism you are a thin-wrested pale nerd with loose morals and sissy-boy motives

On the bus and it's only a qt gf material looking girl and I

Should I ask her on a date lads

fuck off merkel

>5'5
5'4 is like the tallest I'll go
>outgoing
noty lol want an introvert reclusive gf
>curly-haired
I'll pass :)

true

i had an indian doctor when i was in hospital

*opens /brit/*
Hmm.. it seems the runts have staged a coup and taken control. I've seen enough.
*closes /brit/*
*informs the PM about the situation and suggests a preemptive nuclear strike*

cool story

...

>getting couped by runts

Runt

only one of us is 30p richer x

...

*stands naked proudly and accepts the nuclear warhead directly as is my due*

and so I shall die

*poses*

Apparently got drunk and pissed myself in my sleep.
First time it's happened, bit worried.

cold showers make you go bald

*cages the runts*

the gf

New tattoo lads

Fug, didn't think this through at all.

Quite the opposite

how at all is that possible

I thought this lucozade bottle was something else

god damnit tim

cold showers don't work if you're still sleeping with a pillow

...

prove me wrong protip you can't

>no qt kgf to gently pat on the head

...

looks more like a stroke than a pat ngl

me too lad ffs

>massive slag actually trying to pretend dabbing is beneath her

What a runt

it was a pat followed by a gentle hair ruffle

Sounds fucking bent

t. ernest hemingway

She probably dabs with the best of them 2bqh

proof

link me your website m8, I lost the bookmark

Heat expands the hair follicles which loosens hair. As well, heat structurally damages the hair, making it weak and brittle.

This is why blow dryers, hair straighteners, etc are bad for your hair

what does this post even mean

...

thailad.zz.mu/

thailad.zz.mu/brit

all that lush green
why was i born here and not in a european country with such beautiful green nature

eating some mac n cheese with bacon for breakfast

you can tell by the trajectory of her hand and the scruffy by of ruffled hair at the very top

Whoever says BOGEYS loudest wins

BBBOOOGGGEEEYYYSSSS

hehehe

ah yes, america
very impressive

Never understood the appeal of mac n cheese

*poos on your head*
hehehehehe

yanks are disgusting and have disgusting habits and taste

Das Boot is god tier tbqh

fat + oil
also easy to make I suppose if you know what you're doing with rouxs

you're not fooling me jew

you won't believe what's happening in yankland right now

train?

youre there la, go on tell us

>qt

>rouxs
mass shooting?

...

>yfw the driver was a muslim

ah yes

hahahaha dumb yanks

what happened there old chap

Tell me about train, why does he cause the crash?

Just had a pack of Greggs own brand crisps lads

Would eat again.

>matched with a girl on my road

>not offering me one

bad lad

See this is why I feel very safe on a UK train

we got over most of our accidents years ago and have excellent safety measures in place now so it's almost impossible to crash, and if it does you're probably fine

gyal's on road

How to make it as an artist / free panera may be the best video on the internet.

what's the burger toll ?

at least a 100 injured

this happened literally minutes ago

youtube.com/watch?v=nvUeo5sagkA

ah yes

stay safe

I think I caused it lad, soz

100 injured burgers?

i live in NY

might go donate blood desu

then get shitfaced afterwards

got called a chav for shoplifting in poundland

Can I get a toot of your respirator?

mind if I join you lad?

lets sink some bevs on broadway

>shoplifting in poundland

do chavs still exist? I went to the UK a few years ago and didn't see any. they seem to have been replaced by lads.

ah yes,

the rasheeds

>e-stalk a qt from work
>she has a kid

Not sure if I should pursue as I don't want to be a living meme.

smash on the lash take the cash and make a pass

They're nowhere near as common but yeah most of them have replaced their tracksuits and tn's for skinny jeans, huaraches and a river island jacket.

So here we all are then.

The lads.

want to suck a cock to see what it is like but I am 100% straight and not attracted to men

*unzips dick*

So I guess 90% of the "chavs" from yesteryear were middle class, same as our eshays. They're now all wearing that new "fresh" outfit.

lads, was at the traffic lights yesterday and saw this abomination at the junction.

me

other side

>get all my work done in less than an hour
>spend the rest of the day shitposting and getting paid
Ah yes

>Ah yes I think I'll play some cities skylines
*loads up save*

ah yes everyone's dead, very good

vanime haha

I suck cocks all the time and I'm not gay

Kek

was driving home and some autist started taking photos of my car

lol they are called itasha. cannot comprehend why someone would drive that around

Funnily enough, it seems to be quite common for a lot of the middle classes to dress like yesteryear's chavs. Most actual chavs try to dress in a really tragic """smart""" way.

Think you committed a traffic offence and they're forwarding them to the 5-0

did you get a look at the driver

Madison Park is a shithole, fucking coastniggers

Who /ApplegateHeights/ here?

lol what happened?

>Chavs have disappeared
Clueless middle class twats. They haven't gone anywhere and they're still scruffy little scrotes.

apparently a simple router restart doesn't cut it

>Most actual chavs try to dress in a really tragic """smart""" way.
Oh god our equivalent do that too, with gaudy brand name dress shirts and shoes, literally mainland Chinese tier tasteless.

I think everyone just decided to have a death wave.

>tfw static ip
better get cracking on this ban appeal

sadly not. had cars behind me at a light that was going to turn green any moment so wasn't looking while i was snapping.

>Cred Forums only allows respectful discussion of other cultures.

Trying to remember a single respectful discussion in the entire 5 years I've been browsing here

Some user used to to do Country Of the Day threads, where he'd post the wiki page and then people could learn about countries they never thought about before

They were always pretty civil

you get perm banned after a certain amount of normal 1-3 day bans?

bit harsh tbqh

It's so sad to see. The worst types are chavvy call centre workers who wear an ill-fitting (usually too tight) ASOS suit, a shit gaudy watch and some shitty brogues and start thinking they're Alain Delon with a gym membership.

this was during a latin american raid on /brit/ which caught the mod's attention, so he terminated all violations with extreme prejudice

>used to
pity I never saw that. this place has gone to the dogs.

>28 prior bans

over a period of ~5 years now. I rarely get banned

>literally mainland Chinese tier tasteless
this sounds about right

How about you try being a good boy. What would your mother think?

chavs are people too

my mom does know. she posts on /soc/

one every 2 months is still memelord status

That's retarded, if you get under a certain amount of bans every year they should just reset it.

went for a night hike in the mountains with the local search and rescue

at one point we suddenly started to hear music playing faintly in the distance and 2 tourists appeared out of the pitch black darkness, singing and carrying no lights on them whatsoever.

thinking they might have been a bit high

jesus fucking christ

>american "families"

rule 3 is a catch-all
/brit/ threads are nothing but off topic for Cred Forums so it's walking on eggshells

>not shitposting with your mom
sort your life out

>tourists
Who the fuck goes to iceland

Mums

people who need some ice

over a million tourists each year

BAN ASSAULT TRAINS

bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-37503920

>people still being afraid to post their ip addresses

It's like it's really 2005 again

and /soc/ of all places, can you even fathom the amount of dicks she would've taken while you were in the house shitposting?

people who need some land

Hanging like a cunt lads

...

that joke will soon expire

aha

>icelandic people unironically eat this shite

>breitbart is anti semitic
>founded by a jew
>mostly jewish writers

wonder whose agenda they're pushing?

she browses here sometimes too. she loves to hear the /brit/ lads talking about doing a poo and having a wank

I've considered it.

WAKE ME UP INSIDE

all this train nonsense makes me glad that that britain took all our trains

>Young women are the highest risk group for mental health problems, according to new data released by NHS Digital.

>One in five women reported a common mental disorder such as anxiety and depression in 2014 compared to one in eight men, according to the survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing.

I mean that's obvious. After all ,it's not like men under-report mental health issues and self harm / suicidal thoughts because they were raised to correlate needing help with weakness and that being weak is the greatest embarrassment you can commit.

Obviously women are just more vulnerable and need more special treatment. Men are fine.

I'm sure that'd taste pretty nice, especially in winter.

jews trying to make anyone who doesn't like jews look like total mongs

like them chicken nuggets from there
big back o' 'em for like a quid innit

127.0.0.1

proofs

doxxing you

trump is ahead four points nationally

guilt

HI YANK'S MUM

me bottom left

rye bread, sheep's head, ram's testicles, smoked lamb, haggis, pickled shark and flat cake

new