/brit/

Is jaywalking common? Does everyone do it if there's no police around? Are you looked down on if you don't use a crosswalk?.

>be Polish
>get UK citizenship in April
>vote Leave in June
>mfw

>/brit/

Lads reply to this with your degree

Putting a strawpoll together

I live about 300 miles away from pakipoo and I'm on o2 yet I still constantly receive bans from posts he's made for fuck sake

doing a serious think and I reckon that there are some situations where racism might be a bad thing

Include Iceland and the other North Atlantic Archipelago Islands

gave the wife's son a new colouring book x

haha remember that english lecturer who literally got arrested for jaywalking because the po asked to see his identification and he asked to see the police's

REALLY happy I'm not a yank

>Isles of the North Atlantic (IONA)
wouldn't that include Iceland and the faroe islands

>tfw you're expertly '''''jaywalking''''' through the traffic in town whilst the mongy runts are left waiting for the green man

Get a fucking job

msc in economics

Archipelago is a good word

Actually bewildered by this

I'd heard of it, but didn't think it meant you literally can't cross the road when you want

>he lives next to a phone mast

enjoy literally getting cancer

need to engage in sexual congress ASAP

nothing wrong with that

>my mum is literally probably in there

youtu.be/sx3lwaSoGps?t=2m53s

...

international relations

woah

This piece of shit is a convicted rapist.

True

Law (specialising in USA pedestrian law)

you know you're getting old when you can feel yourself getting bigger and your metabolism is letting you down

Your kneecaps, hand them over

he looks better here

Yoga 710 a shit

I work 9-5:30 mate, you troubled by this turn of events?

I actually read less at weekends

Hate runts crossing the road in random places tbqh.

Especially when they do so from behind a parked car then seem upset and shout Arabic at me when I honk at them.

I LOST MY MOJO

...

BA in Politics and International Relations

If private schools are so much better than state schools then why don't we just privatise all schools

Why is he in a thai uni

Doesn't this law only exist in England though?

Masters in Architecture

charge your phone

Why do the vast majority of students come across as so arrogant?

Your balls get zapped when ever you get a txt lad

Biomedical science

>ywn be someone's dirty little haram secret

*makes my privates public*

PhD in Computational Biology

just got called fat in another general. Thankfully /brit/ is yank friendly.

reverse brexit

Alri I'm leaving this simulacra of a general until the stalker stops ruining my experience of it. Good night lads.

ah yes scottish music

youtube.com/watch?v=ib1peLr7Sz8

very good

...

Geology

Cuck pride
World wide

Chemistry

B.Sc.Eng. in shagging your mum

Probably a paedo too.

My friend does this. Can you sum it up for me please?

>objections from local residents

why YES i do want to keep this ugly abandoned industrial estate instead of building a nice new park and flats

*camera pans out on icelad shagging my mother*
*kerry katona appears*
and that's why mums go to Iceland!

...

>this image isn't a 'shop

2,1

@65519451
You should fucking kill yourself, raghead.

muslim girls do their makeup really well

Human biology

What uni?

Lloyd is based tbqh.

WADDUP FAMALAM

Why, mate?

Are you Kingsley, JP Or Howard?

objectively wrong
you're too obsessed with dark skin
it's all they have

madman

George the sharpie fan seems like a bit of a cunt

sorry g'night

>noticeably balding at 20
it's only hair, r-right?

Destroy Iraq

in my 5th year of robotics

oxygen tanks finally arrived lads

see you on the other side

...

i don't african american

Wanted to do geology but there's absolutely 0 job prospects out there

absolute madman

Both

Jesus christ imagine knowing that your privates could just start bleeding at any moment without notice.

What a fucking life

33rd

sort of like a WW1 commander haha

jú famalam
youtube.com/watch?v=1n2nlcSKFx8

What are you doing?

all women should be spayed like the dogs they are

>oxygen

Am I missing the joke or does that not actually kill you?

Cool. Why does it matter what uni?

pretty sure periods follow a schedule

but here's something you can't anticipate
*kicks you in the pisser*

I'm coming for you, boy.

psychology lol

I bet he's not even making a poll, he's just getting (You)s

Because your friend might be me, never know

See you in hell

uhm.. you need oxygen to live, sweety x

Why yes lets keep an ugly 60s block of dogshit just because of some objections from local residents!

Reckon Britain could've looked like Dubai without these fucking cretins

I was but i forgot to say what uni as well so now im not

looks more like butane

Doxxable information

youtube.com/watch?v=a8-pdwEhTBo

Reflect on this lads.

It's very important for Britain

The Shard is fucking eyesore

kek

youtube.com/watch?v=QNhTJs6fzC8

just finished watching the whole thing
good stuff

Well then the entire idea was shite

Lets just forget it ever happened

Dubai looks like arse.

to be honest we should just knock down everything and start again

pretty grilled

China is doing it right

Kill/relocate the 'local residents' and make the country look nicer

Aberdeen.

Are there any new English bands or musicians to speak of?

but user thats unethical

The new gf demands I speak to her. Not talk to her, speak to her. Not about anything specific or related to our relationships. She wants me to tell her about books I've read, movies I've seen, my opinions on various events, stories, anecdotes, etc. She just sits back and listens. She says she likes my voice.

Bit weird if you ask me.

You lads wanna come over?

I have a handle of voddy :3

duhs a bit ov a think

girls just wanna have fun

Posting from the Parthenon

i think it's something you could get used to if you tried

NEED the other Irish poster to stop posting to stop these SNAP posts

besides we all know I'm the best Irish poster

thoughts?

paddy spaparoo

chav car

beep beep hahahaahhaaaahhh

>buying a slow impreza

only lesbos drive a non WRX or STI impreza

strawpoll.me/11330573

Vote lads

what did they mean by this

would it kill ya to buy american?

So damn ugly

Don't follow football, why dont you try asking the inhabitants of your local runt den i.e a pub

My friend is restoring a 2000 WRX

Did any men kick the ball today? Kicky kicky goal like?

that's a no then?

got the energy crystals strapped up to me lads, can literally feel the third eye opening

>Don't follow football, why dont you try asking the inhabitants of your local runt den i.e a pub

ye

Yes. Only buy fast Imprezas. If you must have a Subaru, a Forester or Legacy are acceptable.

I guess though I might run out of topics and it can be quite tiring.

But today she basically called me on Skype and after exchanging some pleasantries just asked me to speak to her and I ended up spending nearly two hours explaining how quantitative proteomics measurements are done which she apparently enjoyed.

private cars aren't environmentally sustainable, twenty years or so we'll all have to get on public transport to go places

Business idea: buy up all neighbouring houses, knock them down and use the land as a lavishly large garden space.

*charges your crystals*

i don't really see myself needing much more than these 160hp

>why yes I do follow football
>would you like to discuss who is the best at kicking the ball
>or perhaps you would enjoy a healthy debate about which team will accumulate enough points to win the league this year
>I have invested significant time and effort in learning about this subject because it is very important to me

You posted this man as an example of someone pathetic and fat, but to me he looks very high test.
>Hairy as fuck
>All fat goes to his belly (sign of high testosterone)
>Thick wrists
>Good jaw

humanity will ascend to a higher plane and we'll be able to teleport our metaphysical form anywhere we want in the blink of an eye

no

Up the ACA

>Don't follow football, why dont you try asking the inhabitants of your local runt den i.e a pub

alri juncker

me? never touch the stuff

yet another freedom we've taken for granted down the drain.
progress marches on.

what sport do you follow?

I want to fuck a girl on her period.

The last-picked kid spotted

only runt den I know of is @65520014's house

Going for a walk in my MAGA hat lads

Strapped a Bowie knife to my belt in case I encounter a pack of rabid leftists

>why yes I am very interested in a sport which features incredibly highly paid sportsmen kick a ball around who are predominantly not from my country or even race, and yes this random team that happens to be in my locality is a large part of my identity

you've got to keep these men occupied with something lad

idle men soon turn bad, football is just a method to subdue the masses

MLG

>fingerless-gloves-fedora (1).png

showed potential future gf the Mexican execution video and she started crying lads

miscalculation haha

fight the good fight brother

Did the man get paid millions to kick a ball around with his millionaire mates again?

>idle men soon turn bad, football is just a method to subdue the masses

>the Mexican execution video

Which one haha

honest mistake

He's right you know.

>people make fun of red headed men but women voted ireland to have the most attractive men

Just took 10mg of diazepam and drank 3 litres of cider. Now listening to the new TWIABPAIANLAFT album. I am the comfiest man in the world, AMA.

The one where the guy gets his face skinned off

>Did the man get paid millions to kick a ball around with his millionaire mates again?

>Going for a walk in my MAGA hat lads
>Strapped a Bowie knife to my belt in case I encounter a pack of rabid leftists

the one where they cut of the guy's hands and face and he keeps screaming in agony as they start slitting his throat with a dull knife and they try to keep his head in place by shoving a machete into his mouth

i actually made peace with never dating instead

that's quite a lot of cider

>TWIABPAIANLAFT

>women sleep around for 10 years
>suddenly as they reach their mid 20s and thirties they realise they need to leech off a beta, pop out a child or two, have an affair and then steal the family home

ahh yes women

what cider you on lad? careful with that liver.

Really want to be a Dad desu.

never buying anything at Wilkos again

don't lie, you knew how a normalfag would react

Will STRONGLY consider getting married

>ahh yes women

The absolute state of the runt posting that, fuck me
>Topless
>No gains
>Runt face

>get messaged by someone I need to contact to return their call I missed
>ring them two minutes later
>they don't pick up

hmmmmmmmmmm

MEGA MEGA WHITE THING

>found the reddit account of the guy that works in a 24/7 store near me
>talks about trying to kill himself
>instantly realize random people around me are dealing with much more shit than I am

>women sleep around for 10 years
>suddenly as they reach their mid 20s and thirties they realise they need to leech off a beta, pop out a child or two, have an affair and then steal the family home
>ahh yes women

No la I expected her to be angry or grossed out but she just started bawling like a toddler immediately.

M8 there's always gonna be rocks.

Who /houserunning/ here?

I love to turn the lights off in the house when it hits midnight and just run around, jumping over settees and tables and stuff, maybe throw some pillows and headbutt them, gives me this feeling of freedom.

Parents always have a go at me for it because it wakes them up but they know what to expect at this point, I love a good house run.

It's my dream for it to one day be a sport but I can't think of any rules.

underrated post to be honest

>He has a whole folder of fedora pics
>He quietly chuckles to himself as he posts hat pictures
>He internally pats himself on the back as he reclines in glee
>"That'll show them" he whispers as he reaches for another handful of tendies
>He spits breadcrumbs through stained, smiling teeth as continues to chuckle
>"Bath time!" his mother and primary caretaker calls to him down the stairs to the basement
>He lets out a disgruntled sigh as he clicks off Cred Forums.org
>"I'll be back for the rest of those hat tippers later" he thinks to himself as he struggles to lift himself out of his sticky chair
>Still chuckling on his way up the stairs he yells
>"You better be quick this time, Mom, I have important things to do on my computer!"
>"Yes honey, it's just that if we rush it too much, you'll get another rash" his mother replies as she cries internally
>His chuckling and smile fades and is replaced with exhausted grunts and groans as he approaches the top of the stairs
>"I don't care, Mom, I'm having a very important discussion with people about things I don't like, they're all fedora wearing neckbeards, I have to show them what they look like" He exclaims through gasping breathes
>"Okay honey, I'll be as quick as I can" the mere shell of a woman replies
>"Well, get on with it then, whore" he tells her as he enters the bathroom
>His mother sheds a single tear as she reaches for the sponge on a stick to clean between his flab
>She silently wonders how nice her life would have been had she decided to go through with the abortion
>"Too late now" she utters
>"What's too late, Mom? The cretinous melt asks
>"Nothing, honey... Nothing"

>Somebody for something non-work related called me for the first time in 3 weeks
>It was my 12 year old cousin, but she had accidentally called me by mistake not to actually talk to me
REEEE, I'm so lonely.

you have to be 18 to post here mate

>normies trying to "kill themselves"
>"haha bro i took like 3 paracetamol and drank a bottle of vodka so suicidal"

Good Christ shan't ever be giving that a watch

And to think there's Americans out there who want more of such people in our land

qt girl at work sent me an invite on facebook messenger
thought she wanted to talk to me
actually she didn't she invited me by mistake and meant to ask someone else
>mfw

no shit, it's really confronting

the gf

rude

I'm 28 tbf.

BA in Pol and IR guy here, I got a job in the civil service. So I don't really think it is a runt degree.

slatestarcodex.com/2015/12/24/how-bad-are-things/

Iceland must be pretty weird, randomly talking to another Icelandic person and finding out you know them. The chances of that happening here is pretty slim.

unironically doing a think about life lads

Maybe there's a reason people don't call you?

12 year odl cousin you say

>people get married without prenups

Fat lass off gogglebox is skinny now lads

Paki pride

>tfw need to meet the love of my life before I'm 30
Fuck sake.

Celtic could probably hold down a Prem spot, and with their International support + Prem TV money they could probably get the money together to challenge the top half. Obviously the established Prem teams don't want another contender, hence Celtic and Rangers will never be allowed to join the English leagues.

if you want a laugh at yanks saying a bus driver is middle class

Did not expect her to be that fragile tbqh.

I guess normies aren't hardened at all against this sort of thing.

Don't worry they're already in your country, you might get to see it live.

youtube.com/watch?v=HMP9f6jEr8c

>65520524
not me by the way

Probably reminds you of when you escaped the Runt nest that one time

>trivialising others problems because you assume life must be fantastic for them because they can actually talk to people and go outside
definition of autism
or psychopathy

I don't have many friends desu and I don't know how I would go about making any. I went to university, but became a recluse, then came back home, and only had 1 friend left from here by then as most had moved away/fallen out of contact.

>bus driver
honestly would rather be a bin man

it would smell more but you'd have to deal with less runts

although i guess you'd be pretty fucking runty yourself

do you have autism?

can't imagine what your parents think
>Oh there goes Johnny again, Christ why won't he stop jumping around down there in the dark like some hyperactive toddler

>people get married

Perhaps, but with that squad they've got at the minute they'd probably get relegated lol

normies are so sheltered and weak that they would kill themselves because some bimbo left them or their useless normie playmate hates them
literally no sympathy for these wastes

>Did not expect her to be that fragile tbqh.

>I guess normies aren't hardened at all against this sort of thing.

youtube.com/watch?v=sa3h2fblh6A
tears

>normies are so sheltered and weak that they would kill themselves because some bimbo left them or their useless normie playmate hates them
literally no sympathy for these wastes

Where do you think you are?

shit

>Responding to people with Fedora pics to feel superior to them while you're browsing Cred Forums on a Thursday night like the rest of us.

Literally kill yourself for the good of mankind.

Imagine the sheer level of runtitude you would encounter as a bus driver
Levels I cant yet perceive

pay would be nice too
well i left your mum's house an hour ago and things have been kind of hazy since

Ah yes, Northerners

Buses down here are civilised

Depressed normies should be encouraged to renounce their undeserved membership of the human species tb h

I'd be happy to oblige

absolute runt tier thread

i expect more from you lot in the next one

>less runts
Fewer runts.

ah yes i'm sure all the niggers on the bus in tower hamlets are the picture of politeness

"people" who use the bus are not civilised mate

Just Morrisons own, 2.5l bottle and prefer it to Strongbow, plus a bottle of some nice fancy cider from some Abbey down south that my mate got me. I gave up on my liver a while ago tbqhwy.

>Buses down here are civilised

Must be all them Sharia patrols and their scimitars

>Buses down here are civilised
youtube.com/watch?v=LMACpa_oXjk

pooh

that's because you're all empty voids

northerners are a lot more lively

>Prefering collect dog shits and drug needles than driving a bus
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJ

thanks thats a bad habit

>fucks up the greentext
off yourself too you incompetent shitflake

As someone who had to use the bus a lot in Canterbury, I can say no it is not.

prenups mean jack shit and are thrown out of court all the time.

>implying you wouldn't be doing that as a bus driver

Celtic Dembele best Dembele tobehonest

Any of you lads ever study abroad? did you enjoy it?

bus drivers don't clean the buses you fucking fool

Year in Beijing. Do not recommend.

my cousin drives a bus in a fairly modest town for a small company.

the pay is good because they are the only public transit in the area, basically him and his gf plus sometimes his mates get to hang around driving about all day, making stops for lunch and such, and then picking up mostly old people and drunks to get them home.

its very easy and he has a pretty comfortable life.

what if someone does a stinky poo mid route?

>dog shits and needles inside the bus
In what type of shithole are you living?

du du du du du du

>stinky poo

go away you literal child

University is a meme at this point. 9 Grand a year for vague skills that might be applicable in your career, when any decent tech company offers STEM apprenticeships with better training and pay.

things i have seen on the bus:
>used nappies
>dildo
>rancid meat

Why what went wrong

China is a shithole and the Chinese are barbarians.

just made a mini 'za

Just out of interest lads, what are the criteria one must fulfill to be considered a normie by /brit/ standards?

Like is there a certain amount of times you have to have had sex? Be educated and not unemployed?

roflmfao'ing at this post

Yeah m8, I ended up moving here after finishing my degree. Would reccomend.

If you're seriously considering the necessary criteria to be a normie instead of getting on with your life then you aren't a normie.

>Like is there a certain amount of times you have to have had sex?
yes, once

>Be educated
education is irrelevant

>not unemployed?
makes you more normie if you're employed

asking if you are a normie you normie

Had sex
Don't hate yourself
More than 1 friend
Regularly go on nights out

desu Cred Forums is full of actual normies now who deflect the word on to those with perhaps a more popular social life than them

STOP APPROPRIATING OUR CULTURE REVIEWBRAH HES AMERIKUN U LIMEY KUNT

>Had sex
>Don't hate yourself
>More than 1 friend
All me haha.

>Regularly go on nights out
Don't do this one tbqh.

Am I a semi-normie?

any of you lads got that picture of homer looking up at the sky next to his car and the majority of the picture is the sky (he's in the bottom right corner)

willing to pay several (you)'s for this picture

>Virgin
>Self-loathing
>1 friend
>Never go on nights out
Wew

youtube.com/watch?v=6-usOHfSQuA

1. Have been within 3 metres of a female in the past year.
2. Have received a text message, phone call, or logged into facebook in the last 12 hours.
3. Have gone outside this month.
4. Have had any social interaction that isn't family in the last 24 hours.

>1 friend
normie reeeeeeeeeeeeee

No, you are normie. It's all or nothing system.

>1 friend
that's twice as many as me

>>Regularly go on nights out
>Don't do this one tbqh.
shouldn't be a criteria

plenty of normies don't go out

Is this what you mean? literally just pasted "homer looking up at the sky next to his car" into google

...

>>>/lat/

why?

...

>Had sex
Last had sex in January
>Don't hate yourself
50/50
>More than 1 friend
Yes
>Regularly go on nights out
Not really

weeeeeew thanks lads

riveting tale chap haha

certified normie

Got an excellent post saved up for the next thread lads

Show me your best british memes

sorry wasnt trying to make you feel bad

Jesus Christ /brit/ is so fast now. Lads, I think I'm gonna be leaving, it's no longer comfy here.

See you later Space Cowboys.

...

see you tomorrow lad

>Had sex
No.
>Don't hate yourself
I don't know.
>More than 1 friend
I have no friends.
>Regularly go on nights out
No.

I don't feel anything anymore.

making a designated runt folder

rest in peace, m8

You'll be back

This place builds a drive for shitposting that isn't easily satiated.

new

>had sex
no
>dont hate yourself
no
>more than one friend
yes but no best friend and we're not as close as friends usually are
>regularly go on nights out
used to up until recently

Here come dat /brit/!