/cum/

Jotolisco Edition

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=hq2A-AYw4bE
fredericknewspost.com/news/crime_and_justice/cops_and_crime/undercover-operation-in-which-officer-worked-at-burger-king-netted/article_fa4fa74d-76d3-5ba2-b5fe-9800d5f578ff.html
m.youtube.com/watch?v=DTmFXnWAy4w
m.youtube.com/watch?v=_phkY6usCF4
youtube.com/watch?v=T4Opps1lBCI
youtube.com/watch?v=QFcv5Ma8u8k
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

kill yourself my dude

Fucking DESTROYED

PLEASE

Who here /cute/?

They make fun of states like Colorado but those borders are beyond disgusting.

...

Hey

You did it lads.

>mfw I didn't reply to him

Officially 122 (You)s
> that one user who fucking called it

same

Hello there

worst terrorist attack since 9/11

>mobile phone browsing

Make this post one without (You)s

pretty comfy tbqhwy

@65525244(You)

I'm happy about it though

a negative reply is still a reply

So /cum/, why don't you have a significant other?

because anime isn't real ;_;

But I'm married?

talking to women-based autism

because theres no girls in CS and I have a problem with starting conversation

Two threads ago I made a reply, and within 10 seconds, someone posted the exact same image as me, out of all images on Earth. The text had the same idea too.
The thread that got deleted I also posted an image and within 30 seconds of it another user posted the same image too
I wonder if it was the same person

What THE FUCK would you even know about me

I don't know what it says about your marriage then but it can't be good that you're spending your free time with a bunch of sad sacks in an online forum.

I got pegged by my gf last night
It hurts to walk now

I live in a very dangerous city so I stay inside when I'm not working.

I dream of moving somewhere safe one day.

FREE

And who said Cred Forums was for lonely losers only?

Contemporary man, everyone. Get fucked in the ass by woman and whines about it to no one in particular.

Where you live? that sounds like a third world shithole I can go for a walk at night.

i posted the cat one :3

Dunno, I just want it to happen naturally I guess?

I'm more concerned with my career right now.

F-fuck you, get out of my safe space

?

FREE

youtube.com/watch?v=hq2A-AYw4bE

Was there any rule violation at all?

TIBET

ayyyyyyyyyy, Conocía a una mujer de jotoliscooo
me decían que era mujer pero eso no es verdad porque ella es jotoooo
a la chingada a la chingada
chinga tu madre chúpame la verga entera hasta que me venga o cuando quierassss.
how is my song?
good taste

I'm extremely detached from people, even though I have a shit ton of friends including girls, forming long lasting bonds seems the most difficult thing in the world.
I often get sick of people (even close family) and ignore their calls, messages or small talks for whole weeks.

Its not the East or the West side

Janny is black

>only one female in all of my classes
>actually dumb as a rock, can barely keep up
>basically she's a network """"administrator"""" because her dad owns the company she works at
>3/10 but dresses like she's hot shit straight from a nightclub or something
>thirsty as fuck too, talked to the guy next to her constantly during the first couple days, found out he was married, then never talked to him again
I've settled with the fact that I have 0 chances of getting laid at college

What?
It was pretty great
I came without her even touching my dick

nigger I've been here since 2009

Wasn't married back then though

I did this too. Then all my friends gave up and moved on.
Feels shitty, but I brought it on myself.

ah
aa
the drug!

(it was me that posted that one :3)

Are you me

MY CAT WON'T STOP DRINKING FROM THE FISH BOWL

Chicano?

I thought he was a Chicano?

new janny on rotation is black

>My command from Amazon is there
>Was not at home during the delivery trip
>Have to get it by myself (30 minutes of walk)
>Can't get it because I have nothing to prove I live at the address on the box
>Even anything related to residential lease, residential mortgage statement or agreement don't work because it doesn't in Quebec
>tfw Purolator hates you if you are a student outside of your home city
>Can only just wait for tomorrow or Monday at the worst case
Purolator, NEVER FUCKING EVER!

Same

I though janny was girl becuase she deleted hot women.
nnoo, no.

Told ya this would happen

just put your fish in the cat's water bowl

How hard is it to get a girl on tinder?

My gf is going on a date tomorrow and I need to find someone to have fun with.

do you like my edit?

Not hard at all.

Do you guys know what it's like to be in a loving relationship where the significant other cares about you and your well being?

I don't

That's pretty great. Make more

Would you?

saved

Haa, I understood that reference. cause hispanics got long namesss

You can fuck my girl. Nut on her face. Make her call you daddy. But at the end of the night, if I'm cuddling with her, who really wins?

It really depends on how you look, but if you lower your standards enough you can find one easily, especially in usa.

This

Either a fat ugly grill or a gay boi.

Canada should be the one getting bullied, why us

It has a dick, right?

RIP Blackberry.

i do though.

It's my first post in /cum/ but if you like to think I'm someone you know than why not.

cause canada always gets bullied

My friends haven't gave up on me just yet. Mainly because I moved out into another city, so they think I have no time for them.
Worst thing it's that I don't consider myself even slightly autistic, I'm well versed with girls, devoid of all shame and have above average looks, so I can't really put the blame on anyone but me.

No

Apparently she's a ''gamer gurll :P''

Is Atlanta a nice city?

ha

I ordered a DVD back in early July. It was back ordered, so it should have arrived some time earlier this month. It's currently "expected" to arrive near the end of October, but I'm guessing it's probably not going to get here until around March.

Just making a joke my man

why is Mexico suddenly posting so much in cum again?

really makes me happy and fuzzy inside. welcome back bros

People say that a lot of black people live there but who gives a damn it's still a great city I don't believe the memes.

FUCK
NO
STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ATLANTA
GOOD
FUCKING
GOD
DON'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR THAT SHITHOLE

panda

>warped/bent hips, not suitable for childbirth
>left tit lower than the right
>can't make a bed
>barely anything in room or closet, not a good homemaker probably wants me to buy her more things to fill empty room
>leaves door-open, bad for security

2/10 would not bang

Mexico very funny, I like you. :^)

I think you need to call them and ask what the fucking shit fuck is happening with you DVD...

Lol

I have no clue either but I'm happy too

There also seems to be less shitposting in this thread

Been trying to install GTA IV for over an hour already and it keeps giving me this error that I've been trying to workaround, fuck pirating these days

same

because lat is a shit
atlanta was alright.

>tfw nauseous

I'll try it out tomorrow
She got a date easily
If you're going to say something about me don't be such a bitch and tell me fuckface

key is fucked
hello canada?

It's mostly me and another guy

I've got some free time, been very busy for the past two weeks

What pic would you like to see?

fredericknewspost.com/news/crime_and_justice/cops_and_crime/undercover-operation-in-which-officer-worked-at-burger-king-netted/article_fa4fa74d-76d3-5ba2-b5fe-9800d5f578ff.html

Damn, glad they got these dangerous criminals off the streets

do you have the photo of the tweet

>really makes me happy and fuzzy inside. welcome back bros

t-thanks...

reminder to all /cum/rades
m.youtube.com/watch?v=DTmFXnWAy4w

helo ameriga

chew mint leaves

Canada tries to act important/relevant but gets ignored/shit on

I'm gonna download this game, I can only find it in Japanese.

Like I said, it was back-ordered. I guess it's just taking longer to get them in than they thought.

were s espayna?
he no call me.

I remember that game lol

>5 grams of weed and two pills

Thats how I wake up in the morning lmao

I hate small towns so much

Jalisco?

Daily reminder

You really wouldn't stick it inside??

We threatened to replace them with Cuba

i dot no
tell him call me

>Suddenly Mexican flags everywhere

Go away fags, I like being alone with the gringos

>he doesn't browse from his bed

No, YOU did that you fucking sperg.

No

>I like being alone with the gringos
then why don't you live with them?

any /lawyer/ here?
I want to invest in a plotter (2000USD) and a laser cutter (1500USD) and rent it to a friend that wants to start his own business. What's the best way to avoid being stolen or lose my money because he damaged the damn thing?
Preferably if he doesn't knows he has full responsibility on that.

Remember the Mexiweeb guy?

whats cum listening to?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=_phkY6usCF4
CHI

You can't prove that, especially when it had so many supporters

im a brown native (indio)
today i saw a qt with a fatfuck
here in mexico looks are everything
im about to get my med degree and still no gf,i already accepted my fate, no woman will ever love me

so buds

what's the most you've jerked it and let out a load in one day? personally, 3 for me.

Which one?

protip:move to the USA and get the white pussy

>about to get my med degree
at least you can be a sugar daddy

I have never masturbated

just bee urself

>he'd rather be poor with a gf than rich with a gf

shit, 4. Maybe 5.

no idea how to help you, but you sound really smart and shit so I am sure it will all work out for you bud

trust me man, you'll get a girl. a solid, real as fuck girl. if a dude with an ugly mug like me can make it, so can you.

I have never masturbated

Five. Seven if you count ghost loads

2

Listen to this lad

5 or 6 when I was like 19

All to the same image of a grill I saved from Cred Forums. I still fap to that saved image, well over 100 faps to it

I have never masturbated

I want a weeb gf like Anzu lads.

I'm gonna do another one

>hot
>humid
>smells like garbage
>black people
>rednecks
>run by fundies
It has nice parts like any city (and a couple hipster enclaves), but on the whole it's really bad.

7, my balls felt empty for an entire day

4, i planned for it and drank plenty of water two days before it

3 haha

9
dick hurt and stayed hard for 4 hours after

Get a good contract written and have him sign it.
I don't recommend it.

This is best Mexican desu

business idea: move to the USA and get the white pussy

I have never masturbated

kek

>whites are NOW the minority
whatever happened to the 2050 estimate

Are there any qts here that want to be my gf?
pls respond

kek mean

I CAN'T STOP FAPPING TO GIANT GIRLS HELP ME /CUM/

god bless cum

>mfw whites

>today i saw a qt with a fatfuck
>here in mexico looks are everything
these two statements contradict each other

>HELP ME /CUM/

It's inaccurate because it was made before Trump.

holy

Another one

Sorry Canada I love you I swear

I'm starting to believe girlfriends simply don't exist

>tfw no Asian gf
Feels bad mang I just want to be happy.

What don't you recommend, the whole plotter thing? Or involve friends and business?
I have some money I've been saving for traveling, but I want to make a profit out of it in the next year.

You know you're white when you can fap for hours

as long as you are not getting eaten its ok

>I CAN'T STOP FAPPING
>HELP ME /CUM/
which one haha

you faggots dont get it
ive seen how 9/10s girls fuck with cholos and poor fucks at 16 years old
sure they get pregnant and shit
but ill NEVER EVER experience young love ,if i want a woman ill have to settle with 30's years old bitches and used whores
thats why i get mad

About that...

Women don't like insecure fucks who complain about not having a girlfriend

proofs

then just be poor and stupid

it can't be that hard

...

Because the other races are out getting laid?

Youngins are impressionable. So they're easy to manipulate into relationships. Practice that.

You got to stop acting like this and go for them. The reason why those fucks can get them is because they have confidence. As long as you look at the joneses, you will never get laid and be forever along. Go and show her your aztec warrior, my lonely friend.

>but ill NEVER EVER experience young love ,if i want a woman ill have to settle with 30's years old bitches and used whores
With that attitude, yeah. Or you could work on improving yourself.

Me on top.

I forgot how bangin the Kim Possible theme song is.

I know this exact feel.
Nothing compares to the love between teens because the hormones are pumping so strong, it's the most intense carnal love any person can experience. And the opportunity for ever experiencing it has long passed me up.

med faggots are a bunch of self entitled hot heads in my uni.
Just hang with different people, I'm sure as fuck there are a few hippy girls scattered in design/politics faculties. Just go to a party and meet a few of them, out of the bunch they are the least exigent.
Also, sorry to break it to you, but after 22, thee's nothing but used whores. Unless you're on of those sickening weirdos that have gf 4 years younger than them.

If you are truly are this autistic, I'm sure you will be able to afford top notch hookers on a doctor's salary.

I remember how I used to watch that and powerpuff girls religiously

My dad called me a faggot to my face and told me to watch "manly" stuff like Dragonballz and Samurai Jack and that stupid shit.

What an asshole he was

>smart enough to be a med fag
>not smart enough to use cheesy lines and coerce some dumb slut to be his gf

Just don't be yourself, and only mentioned "medfag"

try acting like a "bad boy" and join a cartel

>My dad called me a faggot to my face

lol faggot

queer

My dad actually watched Dragon Ball Z and Cowboy Bebop with me when I was a kid.
Too bad he was a major pothead.

>Cuck can't figure out how women work
>Vents his frustration on women rights.

lol what a faggot.
I got dressed as girl by my sister back when we were 4. I bet you're father would've chopped my balls.

his nick name will be el virgen.

the official rule for weirdness is
half your age + 7

A 22 year old dating an 18 year old is fine

Mine too but he was not into drugs.

>el virgen

Shit fuck

>El Virgen de Internacional

What anime is that one?

>A 22 year old dating an 18 year old is fine
Nah senpai, that shit is just downright pathetic, at least in the relationship scheme.
Fucking young people is nice and shit, but feeling sentimentally attached to someone with that kind of age gap is seriously weird and makes me patronize the guy as a dependent manchild that masturbates to weird shit like chinese cartoons.

youtube.com/watch?v=T4Opps1lBCI

Did they translate the pun on the title at 2:13?

>autist thinks women fuck basement-dwelling neet tier males in a post-dowry world

Space Patrol Luluco

Episodes are like 6 minutes or something, all full of Trigger references

>thinks women fuck basement-dwelling neet tier males

Well then what does that make me if I have had sex?

where the fuck is my little witch academia at shaft?

...

;_;

4 years isn't that big of an age gap
i guess you're still pretty young, but when you get older you'll see there's not much difference in maturity

"lol you fought to make israel richer you welfare queen"

This nigga looks like Squidward's house

We're here for you senpai

kek

...

I just realized I haven't jerked off in like 5 days. My libido seems to be diminishing. I'm getting older.

kek

Thanks mate, I like short ones.

I still fap like once a day. Keeps my head clear.

>My dad actually watched Dragon Ball Z and Cowboy Bebop with me because he was a major pothead

ftfy

dude was baked

kek

Kek

...

I usually rub one out once a day. I just haven't really had the urge. I have been working out more lately. Maybe that has something to do with it.

kek

once you stop its easy to just forget, so weird.

You're doing gods work

kek

Not impossible, just unlikely.

>hot
>humid
I like hot
>smells like garbage
I don't really think so
>black people
I like black people
>run by fundies
I'm ok with it

Doesn't sound too bad

I don't fucking care what anyone says Sonic Heroes was great

jej

gotta cum faster
are you from cali or somewhere off the coast?

Every sonic game is better than Sonic Boom

Thanks user, glad you're enjoying my edits

Dude it was my childhood. At the risk of sounding like an edgelord or whatever I must say i fucking love the design of Metal Sonic at the final boss fight, IDK what it is but I dig it

Mexico on a role today

Even with it's shitty controls it was a pretty good post-adventure game

das it maine

me on the left

I'm from Envigado, next to Medellin

I started buying really fancy socks and underwear.
Feels good man.

I shatpost on the internet.

ayyyyyy, you the guy who posted the video of that market in his neighborhood?

AAAAAAAAAAA DIBUJARRR GOKUS JAJJAAJA

FECK OFF YA KNACKER

No, that guy was from Cali i think

27 vive en Cali, bastante lejos de Antioquia

Djibouti = GEE-BOOTY AHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

ill fuckin bate de hed of u ya fucin gobshite

>says this when his country is the most weebed latin country than chile

Benin=BEE-NIS
OH MAN

Why is Africa so lewd

>Niger

Songs that take you back to childhood
youtube.com/watch?v=QFcv5Ma8u8k

7 or 8

>trying to get on Iran's power level

...

>Sonic Unleashed
>Literally /trv/ / Cred Forums Simulator 2K08

you're all gay and stupid

I know

>in the classroom
>taking a test
>everyone quiet
>wanna take a shit so bad
>let out a silent fart
>not silent at all
>guys around can abrely hold their laughter
>teacher: is the test really that hard?
>everyone explodes in laughter
you know, because when youre scared you shit your pants

I'm stupid but not gay.

kek I had exam too

I'm gay but not stupid.

well at least it worked out

>prof says all this shit will be on test
> only two questions from the review are on the midterm

lol you got trolled

Good thing you were listening.

High Test

/cum/?

Look at the newfag, look at him and laugh!

...

ded

I got banned from overwatch comp

>I play overwatch competitively

Me in the picture.

>why yes, I do play overwatch!

>he doesnt play european semitruck simualtors

ahegao

>over one day
>no text back
Well, guess I'm getting drunk tonight.
Cheers /cum/rades

>11pm
>have to wake up at 5am
This is akin to torture

Got a difficult test tomorrow

>mfw unpatriotic pinko would rather play european semitruck simulators rather than superior american ones

American truck Simulator's map for california is all kinds of fucked up and triggers me, tbqhwyf

its not 10 minutes of Sacramento to Bakersfield, and they completely forgot the sierra nevadas exist

>mfw I play Madden 15 because I won't give the EA Jew 60 bucks for a roster update

from Sacramento*

isnt estaban a spaniard?

sucks, thats probably why nobody ever talks about it

I don't even like driving through the central valley in real life. Why would you want to do it for five hours in a vidja game?

>neighbor is playing some loud norteño music

are sites like readcomics.tv legal?

i thought mexico had its own eagles

well it doesnt need to be completely accurate, I just wish it was a little more to scale

You're right

And do you know who doesn't have its own eagle?

Canada

Haha

The wiki says he's Peruan

I guess you have point. It should simulate the experience of trying to figure out what crop you're driving past. There's also that huge dairy that looks like the cow version of Auschwitz.

Pretty sure there are more bald eagles in Canada in the US. If anything we kinda stole the bird from them. Good thing we went with it though. Ben Franklin thought the wild turkey would be a better bird.

you mean the farm with a manure smell thats hits you like a freight train?

which band or singer?
>tfw my lil bro suddenly got a thing for chalino sanchez
now, every morning I wake up to him

Cute doggo

Yes, it goes on for miles.

Party pooper

But there used to be more in the USA, at one point they covered most of your country. You guys just liked hunting them and spraying DDT.

I'm taking this too far, I really need to choose a gf. This is a disaster, you really cant have two but I dont have the heart to break up with either of them

>which band or singer?
I don't know and I don't want to know

pretend indie/alt rock is in Normal type

What pokemon type are you /cum/?

redpill me on norteño music

How cute are they and who has the best ass??

It's trash

/the end

Is that all that matters now? I just dont want to hurt anyone

you're such a looser

Ground/Flying, I guess

Maybe fighting but I only really like post-rock out of that list

Whoops.

water and rock

...

...

Well I'd say you aren't doing anything wrong as long as both girls don't know about each other

Brown bears and mountain lions used to be found across most of the USA too, coast to coast.

I'm going to bed early tonight. Have a pleasant tomorrow.

I think Don Roach shoul be in the next Die Hard movie

Get in, whoever is awake

Ive seen plenty of mountain lions here in California

They are kill in the midwest to east coast though

>Not going over and dancing and having a beer

...

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