/brit/

martial arts edition

youtube.com/watch?v=nR3qbQeo8nY

Other urls found in this thread:

soylent.com/
huel.com/
tvcatchup.com/channels
i.4cdn.org/gif/1475255600439.webm
youtube.com/watch?v=dJ86LTJJorw
youtube.com/watch?v=ceNScthEDKg
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Crystal_Palace#Destruction_by_fire
vocaroo.com/i/s1AGLICz5agD
youtube.com/watch?v=6E5m_XtCX3c
youtube.com/watch?v=7n70spmBHZU
i.ytimg.com/vi/35cJcBdf3V0/maxresdefault.jpg
twitter.com/TRUNEWS/status/781885025285316609
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

...

alri

business idea: a referendum on membership of the european union

Asuka.

...

mongs
soylent.com/
huel.com/

MICHAEL BISPING IS THE MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

>rose
>female

mmmmm laddieboyos

i haven't thought all of it through, but i figure you'd source it the same places the military uses

drytech for instance makes many of the products used in scandinavian military rations

for distribution just rip off Blue Apron or similar companies, except with me you don't even have to cook anything

Registration finished this week lads, I have the final list of students attending the postgrad course I'm teaching in.

6 British (4 male, 2 female)
1 Chinese (female)
3 French (1 male, 2 female)
1 Indian (male)
1 Japanese (female)
4 Polish (all female)
1 Spanish (female)

those aren't MREs you complete rhizome
*turns your jaw to dust with one kick from my Doc Martens*

yes but soylent is just liquid

MREs have a nice variety of foods

How does it feel knowing you're just a pigment of my imagination?

Fuck you>5

sitting comfy in my bath robe m8os

enjoying a strawberry banana smoothie

genuinely in bed at 9pm on a friday lads. drinking gin and taking sleeping pills.

what you're basically selling is wiltshire farm foods you stupid cunt

It's liquid food
I tried a Huel sample the other day and it REALLY isn't much to write home about

Yes, it can be a meal substitute, but it will get boring quickly, even if you flavour it.

I'm liking this idea. I might get a few MREs on the 'bay just for shits and giggles

Literally a general for every corner of the world and JFs still post in this one. baka

Remember seeing this old bloke in a cafe in Mayfair chatting to these two young Asian girls, looked like some sort of professor. You should try the same lad.

>pigment

A thing about are Tezza on the BBC at the moment

the spire you dummy

would LOVE just to drink my food desu
might give this huel shit a try

it's completely different from farm foods you utter spacker

It's called a dressing gown you utter ruminant

GREEETINGS

MREs are 100% self contained
no need to use any dishes

Lads my Sky Box isn't connected atm, is there a way to watch freeview channels online?

Not just BBC or ITV

dear diary: it's nearly the 10th month of the current year and bradleyposter still hasn't given me a (You)

The ex and I still love each other but she's going through a bad time and can't face getting back together and giving it another chance quite yet. I said I'd give her some time but she's off out with some friends tomorrow (different city) should I tell her to stay safe and whatnot or should I just not message her at all?

Very autistic imo

yeah mate

you're delivering meals to the door that you can store and eat when you want

that's just wiltshire farm foods/meals on wheels

okay, wiltshire farm foods but packaged differently

groundbreaking..

tvcatchup laddo

if you care about her then express it

cut her off and move on laddo

stop shilling for wilshire farm foods, we get it

It's called a robe de chambre, actually.

managed TWO poos today

all tvs have freeview built in mate

or were you born before the digital switchover? fuck off

>The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled

Your car is Japanese. Your beer is German. Your wine is Spanish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Colombian. Your tea is Chinese. Your watch is Swiss. Your fashion is French. Your shirt is Indian. Your shoes are Thai. Your radio is Korean. Your vodka is Russian. Your wife's son is Nigerian. And then you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant?

Sincerely,
lets just all live and let live.

im not even that socially awkward why the fuck do i have no mates

She's going on the pull to shag a lad

>POOVERTON

*does a little dance*

i usually do 3 or 4 a day

why?
i don't really care about food and cooking is super long so would like to cut down on that time wasted

I've got to make a living

you can get a £4 sample that makes a 500ml drink and is about 400 calories, so around 1/5 of your daily calorie intake

It's not amazing though. MUCH thicker than I thought it would be. Lots of chunks that didn't break up despite shaking it for a minute (says to shake it for 10 seconds). I took one sip, decided I didn't like it and chucked the rest down the toilet because I thought it would clog the sink

must be SMALL poos

mine were BIG poos

the woman I want to marry

Imaging actually deriving enjoyment from doing fedora posts

fascinating..

>Too autistic to be someone's m8
>Not autistic enough to be the spacker everyone laughs at
I used to be the latter and now I'm just lonely, haha

>It's a Yank doesn't know anything about /brit/ meme history

tsk tsk

Need a cuddle :(

>Imaging actually deriving enjoyment from doing fedora posts

>fascinating..

>tvcatchup.com/channels

Thanks senpai, could have sworn Freeview had more channels than this though

How?

Don't be rude

do you have a blender bottle?

Wish I could lad, to be fair I was way too argumentative and she's suffering from panic attacks and shit like that. Spoke to her for about an hour and a half today over the phone and she just isn't prepared quite yet to give it another shot. I know she isn't playing the field or anything like that, it's just a bit shit at the moment haha. She won't even see me because she knows she will get back with me

Good point, thanks mate

A JF isn't going to get what Wiltshire Farm Foods you spacker. Let alone what the connection to Ronnie Corbett is

I think the kraut is a brit abroad

what motivates you?

Do you find it funny?
Do you imagine that it annoys me, and in turn that gives you pleasure?
do you imagine other people find it funny?

trying to understand the autistic mind

I used one of those protein shaker bottles with the little metal springy ball in it

>an hour and a half today over the phone
mate...

>Documentary about Terry Wogan
>Everyone's legitimately getting teary eyed remembering him

Haha wow this was a very unexpected reply, impressive

ah yes

well that sucks la

>what motivates you?

>Do you find it funny?
>Do you imagine that it annoys me, and in turn that gives you pleasure?
do you imagine other people find it funny?

>trying to understand the autistic mind

>Wish I could lad, to be fair I was way too argumentative and she's suffering from panic attacks and shit like that. Spoke to her for about an hour and a half today over the phone and she just isn't prepared quite yet to give it another shot. I know she isn't playing the field or anything like that, it's just a bit shit at the moment haha. She won't even see me because she knows she will get back with me

sounds like an incredibly gay situation
are you 16 or something

>what motivates you?

>Do you find it funny?
>Do you imagine that it annoys me, and in turn that gives you pleasure?
>do you imagine other people find it funny?

>trying to understand the autistic mind

> to prefer women

mind when you went over to your friend's house when you were young and his mum made sweetcorn for tea and you were like nah mate give me pizza

I find your colonialist assumptions highly problematic

gf is such a prankster haha

i.4cdn.org/gif/1475255600439.webm

kissed a girl and I liked it

see, i thought this will be a problem, I know autistics struggle massively with articulation and self expression, but if you could try. Maybe use your own words?

>POOVERTON?

>She won't even see me because she knows she will get back with me
The delusion is extraordinary

She's over you and moved on to someone else who's caught her eye

me saying yaaah

youtube.com/watch?v=dJ86LTJJorw

The new BRITISH gf

haha poo

>wondering what you meant about "Everyone's legitimately getting teary eyed remembering him"
>google him
>he died in January
can't believe I forgot about that

*rips my face off*

ouch

>alri, just buy enough food for Tuesday
>hmm this should be just enough

>your total is 58.95, how will you be paying?

She hot
got youtube?

Dark days senpai. Dark days

>literally two plastic bowls for tits
>no hips/curved
>shite wig
no ta

WOAH WOAH WOAH

>see, i thought this will be a problem, I know autistics struggle massively with articulation and self expression, but if you could try. Maybe use your own words?

Should've gone to Aldi lad

would happily spend the weekend scraping your brain gunk off the bottom of my steel toe caps

TREGUNA

MEKOIDES

TRECORUM

SATIS

DEE

avada kedavra

>see, i thought this will be a problem, I know autistics struggle massively with articulation and self expression, but if you could try. Maybe use your own words

>see, i thought this will be a problem, I know autistics struggle massively with articulation and self expression, but if you could try. Maybe use your own words?

BY THESE POWERS COMBINED I AM

AN AUTIST

well done you win the internet argument

give us another fedora would you

who /ironpill/ here

*scouts the area for runts*

by golly, its an entire COLONY!

>well done you win the internet argument

>give us another fedora would you

I only eat sushi if its California rolls

>You think that you AREN'T the autist in this situation

rate the 'ween 'tume

SAME AS IT EVER WAS

can't think of any oc to make

such a waste of my talent

>who /ironpill/ here

Howling at the fact that photo is of a SEVERLEY autistic child

/gog/

would split your spine like a lion bar with a sneeze

fuck off

saw a guy on one of those 'fat stroller' (whatever they're called) things today in tesco

he wasn't even that fat or old so not sure why he was on it, especially as I saw several far older and fatter people managing to walk around without complaining

then remembered how Americans seem to be proud of being fucking landwhales and actually encourage it through the normalization of such otherwise inexplicable oddities such as fat strollers

Just told my dad about the MRE business idea and thinks it's a brilliant idea.

>normaliZation
The Americanisation continues

would rail the fuck out both these birds

youtube.com/watch?v=ceNScthEDKg

not a fucking clue what you're on about

don't you dare call my wife's son autistic

TADEO!!

breathe through your nose, joseph

I was genuinely curious whether they find it funny or not, the rest i was just playing to see if I could get an actual answer

I've been posting here for years and never once have I saved a picture of a man in a hat so you can understand the motivations are quite alien to me.

I do unironically suspect the people who do it alot are either underage or have some sort of mental deficit though

plus I can't be an autist in any situation seeing as I'm not austistic, the posts don't make me irate, but I feel me saying this makes everyone think the contrary and spurs them on to continue

fedora posting is just lazy and boring if you ask me. got no strong feelings about it, and yes I'm expecting you to do it again

what do you reckon of that new posho family

can't work out if the younger girl is too young to wank off to

Fuck off CrazyRussianHacker

>Implying that I'm the fedora poster from earlier

Explain please

>picking the two youngest members

What's gog lads?

KFC's secret recipe of herbs and spices

these MREs are pretty expensive

the cheapest full one is a Lithuanian one and it's still like £10

What's Crystal Palace like lads?

Is it comfy?

"oh, X is allergic to tumeric, must mean there's tumeric in the KFC recipe"


repeat

KFC joke

>What's gog lads?

do one you mop

Wondering that as well lmao

fuck's sake lads every time I'm on the benzos I end up buying fags

bought a 10 deck of marlboro golds and I know I'll hate myself in the morning for smoking them

doesn't hold a candle to milton keynes

terrible
utterly terrible
ignore London as a whole. It's like 25% white

Go to Manchester

Not a Englander but Im pretty sure Crystal Palace is a building not a town.

smoking is good
consume

>banal greentext one liner

Runt with no self-control detected

KFC is relatively bland

Coca Cola on the other hand

But that's where Pakipoo lives....

>ywn be a big name in the underground Tokyo drifting scene

/cum/ is too empty right now.
You guys cool if I post here?
We can hang out at the mall too.

get rid of these habits lad

calcify your pineal gland and begin the process of opening your third eye

shit suburb

the old crystal palace burned down years ago

>he thinks you calcify your pineal gland to open your third eye

fucking idiot

do your research before you try and gimmick with the big dogs

fuck off yank

crystals don't burn you dumb kraut

>tfw drinking on my own for pres

haha banter

got to Blackpool then

>Scarlett's bf

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pakipoo lives in Rochdale, miles away from Manchester.

No you aren't welcome here!!

I've been /brit/posting since 1988 kid

learn your place

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Crystal_Palace#Destruction_by_fire

lick my arse you runt

drinking fruit cider lads

no homo

everybody look at this bender

Depressing

can only imagine the state of your pineal

*speeds past you holding my katana (backwards)*
*as I sheathe it you explode into 1000 pieces*

Please be in London

This 2bqh

Canadians are not welcome on this planet as well

Shut up, you cute.
Also nice trips

is it tasty?

3bh taeyeons plastic nose is cute
would store up a bucket of my cum, warm it up in the microwave and then pour it all over her plastic face and watch it melt, film it and then upload it to youtube

>/brit/ noticeably slows down around the time people go out on Friday/Saturday nights

cannot stand normies posting here

Do you think the rorkes on here are as brave irl as they are sat in front of their PC/tablet/laptop/phone?

>tfw don't even get invited out anymore

God I wish I had a bf

*it was a hologram*

I'm not really a rorke but yeah I am

Thinking of doing a think.

Thoughts?

>Poulton-le-Fylde
How do you say this lads?

screeching at the thought that i would fucking obliterate u if you ever even thought to mutter a word my way in real life

Poulton-le-Fylde, silly

Poulton-le-Fylde

>Good to have you here Mr Leaf. I'd like to know what you think you can bring to this general, take your time

No, I don't. Why do you ask?

just finishing up pres, on my way out soon x

everyone else wanted to go retarded early for some reason so I had a sleep instead and will meet them somewhere

On the tcp tonight lads gonna get off my skull haha

pool-tonne-lay-fie-l-D

"ngh!"

really made me think, this one

Ironically it's the lefties who tend to be internet hardmen but don't utter A WORD like they do online in public

korean ladies don't look like real humans

in fact, most asians don't look like real humans
they look like aliens pretending to be what they think humans are.

Does Simon know you're shitposting on here, Louis?

vocaroo.com/i/s1AGLICz5agD

They're unironically worse than Yanks.

I can bring anime

might post some slags

what do you all think about this

>Asking /brit/ not /fr/

LET IT GOOOOO
LET IT GO

>open CarphoneWarehouse
>my choice is limited to expensive shite or low-end shite

Ahhhh yes

Ironically, this is utter bullshit.

...we'll be in touch

Post lewder ones

humongous cobs

forbidden by the shari'ah lad, alhamdulillah

*looks around*
*whispers*

but go on, you can post some ;)

Not really mate, lefties don't call other people niggers or faggots online do they

Business idea: you type how many captchas it took you to make the post in the name field

It will be a good quality indicator

Its

pole-ton le field

Doing a listen to The Smiths.

What are the first words? Alevtina ?

Is it comfy?

well thats definitely a point in your favour Mr Leaf

youtube.com/watch?v=6E5m_XtCX3c

might watch the spongebob movie lads

Ironically, I could literally turn your jaw to dust with a single sneeze

If it was anybody else I'd believe that, she's pretty much a shut in autist. If that was the case I'd have fucked her off long ago with ease.

Unbelievable bentekkers

>Page 1

/brit/ is dead

The one on the right has impressive chebs
The chebs on the left are insane

Business idea: We force our ideas until people like them

please do

>shut in autist girl
>Going out in a city where she will get attention
The recipe for a long hard dicking desu

is Cred Forums the biggest reddit hugbox on Cred Forums lads?

Ironically, you couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding.

good comments

that would be Cred Forums

"I live near there. It's Poulton-Le-Fylde"

Where I live is super comfy, Poulton is supposed to be decently comfy. Blackpool is horrible though.

We can also hang out at the mall.
Mum said she's got room for four of us in the van.

love vpl desu

>posting slags

Just go on /s/ ffs

...

...

*shakes penis off*

HEY

GO TO HELL

Cred Forums's more tumblr than reddit
Generally the insult is Cred Forumsmblr

Of course!

Cred Forums is one of the least reddit boards on Cred Forums

I bet you're watching this thing on Terry Wogan la

...

Continue with slagposting
please

how did you get a photo of my gf you creep

Did someone say... Anime?

velouté poulet

whats the criteria for being a rorke?

Really struggling to push this poo out lads

Need some words of advice/encouragement

rank them

Aye.

Forgot that she was quite a qt.

Having common sense

Me on the right

...

Just had a crazy dream where I put £50 of petrol on my car when I only wanted £10
woke up in a cold sweat

no
no one said anime

That dog creepypasta with the photoshopped face unironically terrified me for several months

I remember seeing a warning before viewing it and thought nothing of it
Don't think much of it anymore but whenever i see it pop up, I close the tab/hide the post

1 3 2

me

actually i did so you can be quiet thank you

myself on the right

youtube.com/watch?v=7n70spmBHZU

the gf

...

unironically like hair like that

I said slags

Try coffee desu

why are right wing lads so stupid and poor?

Yeah m8.

Literally cannot imagine a qtier qt atm

haha lol

no idea what your on about

post it

they used to scare me when I was like 17/18 sitting downstairs in the dark on my own

now am hard af and I dont give a shit

Not a fan of the people on the bus desu

literally happening at this very moment

White privilege

It's an absolute wonder you lost the EU referendum senpai

...

looks like a rally, Trump or Clinton?

...

let me feel your muscles user la

i think it's actually the poor who will suffer from brexit lol

i might not make as much profit on my investments for the next coupla years but you and your ilk won't be able to get jobs lol

...

This man comes up to you and squeezes your bf's muscles. What do you do?

This fucking thing

i.ytimg.com/vi/35cJcBdf3V0/maxresdefault.jpg

Fuck it was difficult for me even searching it up
Its not even a creepypasta thing, that shite is for children

This genuinely terrifies me for some reason

doubt I'd shed a tear if the roof caved in

>anime nonces are here

time to post trains

class 390 is cute

purple aki pls go

Go ahead, give em a squeeze babe

trump ofc

hillary can't into rallies. she's getting heckled everywhere she goes twitter.com/TRUNEWS/status/781885025285316609

fucking hell lad that's proper unnerved me

wish I hadn't opened that

the presenter girl is very cute

dutch people are top weird though

And yet she's still ahead, weird

evening lads

i'm so proud of me for being able to go to job interviews and trial shifts and do as well as i have with all them despite my severe anxiety

wow, yanks are doopin mental

>mfw I make more in a year than a povvo runt like you will in a decade
Actually laffin at your Reddit-tier comments the last few threads all focused on the EU. Your total lack of capital letters is a dead giveaway

going to make an image of say, some bull's testicles in a state of disrepair or w/e and label them as calcified pineal glands with a suitably academic medical format and see if people repost it seriously

those trump supporters actually look like the biggest runts going

I use that term without any irony whatsoever

gonna tilt lads
*tilts*
WAHEY

aaaaaaaaaaaa

the posh family off gogglebox

younger girl
elizabeth.delaneyellwood.7

older sister
jess.delaneyellwood?

oh ok

I-it's not me, I swear!

Want a 16 year old gf

I'm literally seeing a face on the front of that train lad

The lights are the eyes, the Virgin sign is the mouth and the yellow is the face

are you retarded?

nonce

I'm not a Trumpfag, but I think he'll win. There's a lot of shit that will stick to Hillary that the Republicans haven't really played yet.
There'll also be a bit of a shy Trump effect I think, like we had with the EU referendum. Leave was consistently under-represented in the polls til days before the vote.

sup

good job lad

Oops

It's already 2:00 o'clock.
Good evening.

gas this family

...

how much diazepam does it take to kill you?

heard the lethal dose is like 1 g/ kg body weight but that can't be right, so I'd have to take like 90 g to kill me?

POO

that's a big can

Get soon lads.

need to get some music so I have a bit of a sesh desu

nah the first one in the chamber is that fucking family of fat arses

Fatty

its just like a dog with teeth and all red hue and shit

a good creepypasta or even jumpscare is much worse, I could stare at this for 10 solid minutes and then go to bed and I'd be fine

Don't mind if I do

>wearing shoes in the house

do northerners really do this?

willies

hello

Voting trump now

>90kg is fat
It's not even 15 stone lad

bad lad

the one with the german bloke?

annoys me so much, he's such a normie cunt too

that whole family has the combined iq of a mouse

>manbun

Cunt

> manchester
> northern
do southerners *really* do this

>tfw want to lift
>dont want to get too jacked

...

for you

Obese tubby wanker. I bet you stink of sweat too

yes

my dad is from salford and wears his old work boots as slippers

FOY

Hungry tbhonest

He's right

Manchester is Northern. Birmingham is too

nah the one with the absolutely butters daughter

the mum is slim but the dad, son and daughter all look exactly the same

new

LESTA MENTIONED

Nobody gets too jacked lad
you don't accidentally look like Ronnie Coleman

>being from Middlesborough so everything south of York is 'Southern' to you.

Fucking hell lads, imagine actually being from North of Leeds.

>Birmingham is too
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha no

>Birmingham is too
ah yes, the midlands are in the north
because that makes sense

its incredibly hard to OD fatally on benzos

even if you try and kill yourself most likely you'll just pass out, go on a mad one for like a week and remember none of it

its not something you take to kill yourself, unless you mix it with a shitton of booze, opiates, warm bath and slit wrists

seventh stage of my McDonalds interview process coming up sunday lads

was out cold for 2 weeks after the sixth

really prepping myself for the next one

haha bums

women are pure evil

I knew this already but I've recently reaffirmed this belief

York is north of Leeds and objectively the better city

hey

howayala'?