You wake up in Medellin, Colombia

>You wake up in Medellin, Colombia

...

Time to get some thicc Colombian qts

>Nothing changes
Go back to sleep

Cant tell the difference really.

>You walk 1km and get mugged

>Medellin
I don't know about this city, but Colombia has one place with literally the best climate in the world

>go inform on that hijodeputamaricon Carillo to Don Pablo and claim my reward

...

How likely would I, as a pale gringo, be mugged/killed?

>noooo they finally are everywhere

how has it never hit 100F?

Do you like clouds?

i start selling cocaine, killing prostitutes, and bribing politicians

yes
high altitude

its at 4k in a rainforest.

6k deserts hit 100F

It has even snowed a couple times in there

SACK FOR FOOD
A
C
K

F
O
R

F
O
O
D

FUCK OFF COMMIE

But food

>kms (kill myself)

Or just take a bus back to the city where I live.

Very likely, particularly if you go around being obnoxious and showing off your first world luxuries

cocaine and hooker party

Meh ya estuve de vacaciones allí y es un lugar de lo mas aburrido me prometieron lolis y droga y nada de nada eh para turismo legal e ilegal es mejor Cartagena

walk around and say "plata o plomo" to random people

find blackie, limon and la quica and have a party

I learn Paisa

I roll to seduce. Also

Pero no es ahí donde están las mejores prosti travesti del país?

Wow, my quality of life literally didn't change at all.

Si, demas que no supo donde ir o que buscar

dejá la guevonada hermano

It's gotten better since the older days.

Also I'm from Cali and I hear its like twice as beautiful in Medellin.

It's constantly hot whenever I visit.

Except Bogota or the mountains. Damnit I just want to wear fashionable jackets.

>take the metro and curse Peñalosa loudly

I scream PLATO O PLOMO, HIJO DE PUTA MARICON GONORRHEA at random strangers until someone mercifully ends my existence

i just did this near a latino community in archeage

turns out they really hate every narco reference and i got banned

I'd rather stay in my own Columbia (British), thanks.

...

Fuck, the pictures on Wikipedia look 10/10. I thought latinos were incompetent.

Guess it must be all cartel money, there's no other way.

I also hate it desu. If people really want to jack off to that criminal scum they should at least watch El patrón del mal, which is the superior Escobar series. The guy who played as him did a good job.

Not again...

this nigga got his shit together.

Help to dismantle land mines. I got you bro.

I was just about to mention it.

Narco is all about portraying this "gangster" image of pablo. Meanwhile El Patron del mal shows him like the fat bastard that he really was.

Was Pablo really 420blazingit 24/7 like Killing Pablo claims he was?

I watched "Narcos" and I still got the impression that he's a fat tub of shit, sick cunt