/brit/

rate the Halloween costume lads

>just realising Cred Forums's birthday is the same as mine

words cannot describe how much of a runt you are

I've got perfectly clear, smooth skin and I just use a flannel in the shower. Look like a right baby when I shave because I've got "porcelain" skin. No need to buy body cleaning products desu

didn't know Kyary was headlining reading and leeds

business idea: pay more bonuses to bankers

fb.com/photo.php?fbid=1392264047469420&set=pb.100000575139346.-2207520000.1475312453.&type=3&theater

>65572427
This sounds exactly like Grimes.

>he doesn't do no porn
>he doesn't to nopoo
>he doesn't take zinc & omega 3 in the morning
>he doesn't brush & floss twice a day
>he doesn't exercise

loooooooool

bonus idea: give more business to bankers

>he doesn't do no porn

actually impossible

t. guy with shit skin and no gf

I'm really not arsed. I'd wear a pink skirt if it kept getting me as much positive attention as taking care of myself a little better has been.

i run this thread

I don't watch porn

BENDER

Grimes is ugly. No getting around it. Pug crossed with a human.

how? it's easy.

alri gayboy cool your jets

you're supposed to brush your teeth 3 times a day you utter twat

good goyim, use all of that toothpaste

Good lad.

>Multivitamin everyday
>Facemask once a week
>Run at least twice a week
>Brush, floss and mouthwash twice a day every day
>Water only and a fizzy drink max once a week
>Several litres a day

Huge difference to my life

haven't brushed my teeth in weeks
I do this regularly

I don't want attention from blokes though.

w-what? I didn't read about this one on /fit/, citation please. Might need to update the regimen.

t. STILL an ugly virgin

>Facemask once a week

GET OUT YOU FACKING PANSIES

how is it easy

yeah only drinking water and black tea/coffee (except booze hehe) is a big one.

some of the 'people' I work with drink like 1 litre of liquid all day and it's all sugary shite.

Once every few days.
If I have a curry or been on the ales next morning sure.
Glad I'm not the only one.

>coffee
ahh yes

>>Water only and a fizzy drink max once a year
get it right

you just don't do it, wank to memories or use your imagination, or get a girl to give you the succ.

greed is good

Hi there

t. ugly runt with poor personal hygiene.

tbf I used to do the same but then when I stopped realised how much better I felt and looked.

See so many fat people at work go on about how they're losing weight and only eat salad, but cover it in mayo and have a large starbucks then go 'I'm just naturally big I think!'

2healthy4me

>wank to memories or use your imagination
good lad

i've tried

can't get hard doing that

porn has ruined me

yeah, time to stop watching it then.

wank less often too.

don't get this meme

fun fact: if you have to resort to a face mask, you have shit personal hygiene you delusional poofter

have Scotland Yard on the phone, you're fucked m8

...

youtube.com/watch?v=rrmsJhf89MY

on nofap for 4 days now I think I can fly lads
I can also go through walls

"suck a dick"
"I had fucked your mom"
"tyans aren't needed"

Reported.
Enjoy Somali rape

easier said then done

where do you find it you scummer, just out of curiosity

That's literally the most retarded thing I've heard

>If you use water to have a wash and make yourself look clean your hygiene is shit!

What?

Fuck off you oily skinned runt

Might move to Wyoming lads

Good luck with that

Automobile mechanic is the most male-dominated industry there is

Over 98% of mechanics are men

>he uses double negatives

was being very gay with my mates last night for banter lads

You're really taking this gay in denial gimmick to heart.

Hello

what was your favourite hjerpseth montage back in the day lads?

youtube.com/watch?v=x0XSIo1ZCeo

this one always gives me goosebumps but his 2010 world cup one was truly fantastic

well done my friend, though you've a long way to go

On day 47 here

*levetates*

hmmm, got to get ready

*focuses mind and teleports into the shower*

It's ok

I'm not at all lad, it's just true. I used to be the same but then opened my eyes

>He doesn't suck off a lad and then spit out the semen and rub it on his face for a good complexion

swedish nonces seems like a recurring pattern on the chan

who /IRLmoonman/ here?

Suspect most of them are fugees

go fuck off and put your mask on you cretin

I letmen stick their willies in my bum and you're a bigger faggot than me.

>>>/repressed virgin/

youtube.com/watch?v=zkvX6gzgusI

Know some "lads" who legitimately sucked some one off and put Willy in bum when they were passed out. Type of guys who would go

>"Ahah you are such a faggot sucking his dick"

voted leave but I'm fucking this bulgarian bird

ama

no refugees would just go out and rape, they wouldn't bother finding stuff on the internet

this guy is literally a Haitian, he's the one that spams scat and gore

>I wear party hats

fuck off callum cronin

Good old Moonman.

>faggot
FOY

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-37521090

youtu.be/O3aLpO0BoNg

think the proto-gf is trying to curve me tbqh

need a Aimee Teegarden gf

who?

Ah yes

youtube.com/watch?v=uu7pSe7Ucv4

Shalom.

nada gf

rubbing argan oil on my face haha what am i like

getting close now to that free RED meal lads

...

how much did you spend to get that far tho

>eating nandos
runt life

>an historic

>40,000 people die early every year in the UK due to air pollution

lads

>tho

Fuck off yank.

fuck i miss nandos

*coughs*

explain how this is a foyism . ps. you can't.

cagerunts put us all at risk

9 meals mate

it says it right there

but i also got a GREEN and an ORANGE in that time

the ORANGE i've already redeemed which i let my mate eat for free just cos that's the kind of guy i am you see

business idea: learn patois and move to brixton

whoever smelt it dealt it looool

Nothing to worry about goy. Just go for a walk and get some fresh air, it's good for you.

morning la-
*dies to air pollution*

runt

It's mainly London though so I don't give a fuck.

>Hurrr London is great other people are just jealous
>1.2k a month for a one bedroom hovel in a shit area
>Air pollution kills thousands each year
>Cost of living is stupid
>Can never get a mortgage there unless super rich or have lots of inheritance
>Even if you do get a mortgage it will be part ownership for a one bedroom flat miles out of London
>No countryside available for a morning run in

Awful desu

It's "though" you cheeseburger eating twat.

get fucked abnormies

tears for you

tears i tell you

>not zinc, omega 3 and magnesium

how many times were you struck between going to nandos or going to supermarket for your tea ? because that wipes out all potential savings.

ah yes, more london obsession

yank speak isn't text speak, you mong

you aren't supposed to live in London unless you're solid middle/upper class

having a car is the ultimate runt possession

>proud of eating shit food
RUNT LIFE

...

good thing I have a motorbike then

running through a city is great though

as much as I love running in the country, during my work break I run through London, sometimes Hyde park and it's lovely

>caring about london twats

haha no

You're in the club and this lad walks towards your gf
what do you do?

where can i get a cannoli in the uk

London is shit and the people are shit.
Spend about 3 years to explore then get out.
God help you if, after that you need to remain.

i love nandos far more then anything i can get at any supermarket though

ever though it's dear i feel i'm getting my moneys worth

the free players are just a bonus which i normally just give to mates anyway

crying for you now abnormie

crying for your soul

Learn to speak English, you yank paki.

i founded this meme

yank festivals look proper wank desu

Bath is the best place in the country

make one urself

Unshooped Kev?
What is this? 2014?

Grandpa.

You're very stupid.

lads I think Tim actually bought out his flat from his landlord hahaha

Literally obsessed with Charlotte Crosby from that chav programme in Newcastle even though I've never watched it.

She's clearly some sort of super slag and isn't even remotely attractive yet for some reason I get rock hard looking at her.

Would pay good money for her to sit on my face and grind on me desu

youtube.com/watch?v=6bT00gb4ABs
ohhhh myyyy daaaaaaaaaayyys
that british family live in the best country foodwise but they still have cans of heinz baked beans
teeears

what are the ingredients.

i have never even seen the hazelnut cream here except in kinder buenos

Lichfield is easily the best place in the country

baff or barth

>responding to me twice to make it look like more are on your side

pathetic desu

you literally didnt

i like to keep it og sometimes

she is genuinely a 9/10

look that up on a cooking website
if you can't find hazelnut cream... well buy fresh ingredients and make that yourself

And back to r*ddit you go.

Good ol' Tim

how else are you going to make beans on toast?

also
>their meat is the best

hmmm

I'll jealous of him.

...

Thick cunt

what's the ingredients for the cream tho.

i don't want to accidentally make the chocolate nutella one because it's called the same

can't out of business the tim

no one fucking cares you reddit runt

embarrassing

i literally did

There's a white woman and an Arab pretending to be French..
Mes ami..

they are literally importing cans of baked beans from the UK... grim

marthastewart.com/355331/hazelnut-cream-tuiles
think it's the right one

What the hell is wrong with her face? It's like her face was too small and then got stretched vertically.

>i like to keep it og sometimes
subtle yet effective

What's your attitude to anarchy and communism?

Looks like the paki is just shitposting.

End yourself.

retard ideologies only entertained by students

thick cut

You truly are one thick twat.

Tube chat and this are both pure autism. What is wrong with Londoners?

Does it have anything to do with the fact that, statistically, they're not white?

Are Nige to the rescue

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3816822/Send-Nigel-Trump-flies-Farage-help-sharpen-debating-skills-clash-Hillary-Clinton.html

>Nigel Farage flew to the US last night to coach Donald Trump ahead of his next presidential debate with Hillary Clinton.

>The former Ukip leader will give the Republican nominee tips on how to defeat Mrs Clinton ahead of their second meeting in eight days' time.

>And Mr Farage – praised for his debating skills during the EU referendum campaign – will also offer help in the build-up to the final clash, which is on October 19.

A tube train would actually be 95% white

So are you just incapable of speaking English?

Your previous retard babble combined with this pretty much confirms it.

retard ideologies only entertained by students

t. moderate aka radical centrist (george osborne and mark carney did nothing wrong )

Based

lel

let me ride your cock

Lad, I've been to L*ndon, don't think you can fool me.

>We're all white :)))) hehe the non-whites just stay in their own areas and caise trouble there hehe :))))
no

>Everyone calling me out on my stupidity is one person

You need to lay off the weed, you paranoid yank cunt.

You trying to get your people to behave like Finns?

sounds like top banter

t. has never even set foot past the M25

me on the left with the gf

My god, he'll be unstoppable.

youtube.com/watch?v=JvKIWjnEPNY

>spend sunday feeling shit about having to go to work the day after
>spend saturday feeling shit that i will spend sunday feeling shit that i will have to go to work the day after
>spend friday evening feeling shit about the fact that i will spend saturday feeling shit about spending sunday feeling shit about having to go to work the day after

who /radical centrist/ here?

you realise this isn't actually a TFL thing? it's just some autist who made them

dfddfggddfdgddfdsgsdgdg

Want to hear a joke? France.

move shake, move shake and hide

london is too busy. it makes people mental

London is a 2016 Mercedes E-Class
Rest of the country is a shitty 2004 Nissan Micra

>hairs on the shaft

what do you do with 'em?

business idea: change BMI of obesity to 45

France is better than the UK

pluck them

now that was an excellent joke

Nope. Hes moving to high Wycombe to some other flat.

How did they know about Tumblr then?

Somebody shop a smug pepe on top of a picture of the French fleet burning at Mers El Kebir haha

...

Bit gay

Wonderful man
Of Trump wins we owe the brits big time

not really

>there are Yanks ITT that unironically support Trump

Hillary is a massive cunt but she's the lesser of two evils in terms of what's best for America

...

Funny guy.

You owe the frogs your existence but you never say merci do you?

Exactly what a gay would say

>not going down to Rakh's news for a top up and a supermalt

s-shit

Trump would be better for us though

>cheese eating surrender monkeys

>London """""""""""""""""""culture""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

how so

>it's a remainer still upset he's moved onto hating trump episode

sort your life out mate

>when your girlfriend actually manages to tick off every single one of the 14 items identifying Histrionic Personality Disorder

For reference

Exhibitionist behavior
Constant seeking of reassurance or approval
Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval
Pride of own personality and unwillingness to change, viewing any change as a threat
Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior of a sexual nature
Using somatic symptoms (of physical illness) to garner attention
A need to be the center of attention
Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification
Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others
Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are
Making rash decisions
Blaming personal failures or disappointments on others
Being easily influenced by others, especially those who treat them approvingly
Being overly dramatic and emotional

Dad and I exchanged some insults, I kept shouting paki at him and he called my a gypsy bastard due to my long hair

My sisters then informed me that I had dual British-Pakistani nationality, it was done when I was a kid

My sisters then hid my England flag

>poortherners talking shite
couldn't care less

Mercedes is German.... Germany is Islamic... so is London... I guess it really is like a Mercedes E Class!

There is a theory that Poleaboo might have this

Already said he would fully support a post-Brexit Britain, whereas Clinton wanted us to stay and idolises Merkel

tell me why trump will be such a great president then lad

>unironically lives in Pooris

played bloodborne for 10 hours today, i think i've accomplished a lot

>Actually surrendering to the Germans

What a poor "country".

France has the best tunes.
youtube.com/watch?v=oTN6cGmH2yM

I don't follow yank politics, nice try though.

the best city in the world

Trump will be a very weak president and Congress will generally be against him so most of his more ridiculous notions will be shot down

He'll probably rely on his VP and cabinet more than anything

I doubt he'll even be re-elected unless he's against Hillary again

Is that a scrotum or cunt?

MUUUUM
ask me next time you want to wear my stockings

Why do people care about brexit?

Literally everyboyd has at least one Irish grandparent just get a backup passport if it goes tits up (it won't)

Got mine the other day.

Dad and I exchanged some insults, I kept shouting paki at him and he called my a gypsy bastard due to my long hair

My sisters then informed me that I had dual British-Pakistani nationality, it was done when I was a kid

My sisters then hid my England flag

Spent 1.2 grand since freshers started two weeks ago lads

>smells of shit
>full of gypsy scammers/beggars
>bizarro unwarranted arrogance
>underground is decrepit

Yes
youtu.be/52Gg9CqhbP8

runt life

still better than norwich or whatever shithole you're going to spend all your life in

i really like bad films with really high production values that have very comfy crisp and clean middle class settings

anyone know a film like this

On what?

sounds like a keeper lad

Not being rude mate but for a beautiful country such as France Paris isn't half a shithole.

Londoners might be able to stretch a claim that they live in the best city in the world but it's clearly NYC that is the actual best city.

France is pretty beautiful, Paris isn't though.

Don't even know mate, takeaways and drinks with the odd cab fare thrown in

lel, I live in London kiddo.

>WWII ends
>the French immediately publicly humiliate, disenfranchise, imprison, or kill anybody who supported the Vichy government (including journalists), collaborated with the Germans, or even slept with a German

ah yes what noble and brave people

did something similarly stupid in first year

ended up living out of overdraft for a couple of years. wasn't nice always worrying about money

oh my heart bleeds

fuck off rorke

what does vichy mean

>let's celebrate Cred Forums's birthday by giving our users another chance to give us their money in exchange for 1s and 0s

how can people be so unironically jewish?

Paris is actually beautiful, JFs just don't take the time to appreciate the cool places and rather go to the Louvres or the Eiffel Tower

London is a nice city but I prefer Paris tbH.

>French people trying to ignore the fact that half their country collaborated with the nazis

wew

So they should have desu

Nice bro.
Old one.
Halloween soon
youtube.com/watch?v=6QFwo57WKwg

Is it possible to have a high tolerance for frustration?

could S M A S H a roast dinner right now.

Yes, yes I think so

...

cider is non-alcoholic in the US

I think Trump is finished after this

i.4cdn.org/pol/1475188194468.webm

so... apple juice ?

God I hate Yanks

What do you call these where you live?

They probs have a brand name like jello
Jello juice

> youtube.com/watch?v=6QFwo57WKwg
It's one of my favourite songs.
Here you go
youtu.be/2NrqmMu0hqE

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

wow.
that simpsons episode makes a lot more sense now

grass

Thinking of telling the gf I need a break 2bh

Just not feeling good right now and I need some separation for a week or so.

Bit worried she'll be on Chad Thundercock's did within an hour though. Bad idea?

oh, almost forgot the big newa

Today I weighed 146.5lbs

which one?

cobs

wood lice

>tfw dicklet

Talk it out m8

burns baby burns

going out lads
farewell

Literally thought this exact same thought in response to this cider revelation.

I love you Vassili. Best taste. I am rather drunk on Russian standard too. On my last glass.
youtube.com/watch?v=_mTRvJ9fugM
have this back. Some Scot grill.

pretty sure i've seen it posted before too.

#runtlife

why are yank hotels so expensive? £100 a night minimum

...

>tfw can't tell anybody I'm bi because they'll assume I'm just struggling to admit I'm gay

when will gay and straight people be made to recognise their privilege

kek

Try being trans, cunt

i just can't be bothered today lads

bi is gay

boggles my mind that people think council can even do anything about this.

9/10 times the police can't do anything.

u trans ?

youtube.com/watch?v=vAc5JqcBPK8

Yeah, I'm a fucking a paki too

ah yes i'll bring my dog to work with me

Prophetic.

Do you ever see normans wearing clothing trends and just think "that's a meme item of clothing"?

Like ripped black skinny jeans on girls are a current meme. And black roche-style nikes have been a meme for a while now but people still wear them.

>tfw trans life

got in an argument with the sister

she threw a boiling pot full of pasta right next to me

then i said something mean to her

then she charged at me so i pushed her back and onto her arse because i was scared of what she would do next

if i just pushed her back without putting her on her arse she could've just gotten angrier and charged straight back at me doing god knows what.

then my mum got upset at me for doing so but she understood when i said i'm scared of her, because she's scared of her too...

who was in the wrong here?

i felt like i was just doing what was necessary to defend myself but my sister thinks i took it too far :-/

Also, tame impala is pretty good.

youtu.be/wycjnCCgUes

yeah, wife that shit and knock her up lad

trust me u won't regret it

ahh.
deleted reddit flags so no idea when I'm talking to you, pakiboo

>tame impala

I enjoyed their video about a white beta being cucked by a black man:

youtube.com/watch?v=sBzrzS1Ag_g

NYC looks like a chaotic mess

There is good Russian music too
youtu.be/FukFE7JUb3A

london more so

grid pattern > all

He's only really that annoying when he blogs about his life tbf

grid pattern is fucking horrible

feel trapped

>moved house
>no drying machine
>trying to dry clothes in winter

end it boys

Hijacked.
youtube.com/watch?v=FFqoXXWH9fc

rightwingnews.comslashcalifornia/child-prostitution-just-became-legal-california-agree/

California needs to be nuked. Such a shame because the place itself is gorgeous

Ho there, teafags.

if you're attracted to men you're gay

>rightwingnews

uhuh, sure

answer me lads

>if its not on the guardian I wont believe it!

it was an ad.
fuck.
youtube.com/watch?v=YYzitnR9WJY

is she qt
post a pic of her

>You're coming home from a midnight shift at work
>Weathers cold
>Tired
>Slight chill on the platform
>Someones just been sick in a McDonald's bag
>Night Tube arrives

youtube.com/watch?v=lQzjC7wlBpA

just put the heating on for winter

let the cosy times roll

Podge you cunt. Where did you bury Rodge?

no, she's fuggo

not posting a pic

Guy, please tell about overground. What trains it use?

runt

>getting your news from literal propaganda outlets

pineal gland status: withered away

...

America is literally the greatest country in the world

Its so fascinating and big

Haven't wanked for like 4 days
Need to get my dick sucked immediately

>thinking mainstream media isn't propaganda

Russian train wanker loves his trains

you might enjoy
youtube.com/watch?v=yKJAEnLml0k

Feel sick desu

rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-56208028.html

Only 75k lads! What a steal.

London actually depresses me.

If I earned anywhere near decent money in London I'd just live in a shit house share and pay off a mortgage somewhere in the north and rent out a house.

00's Dave Clarke, Umek
I like Umek. Big lad like me.
youtube.com/watch?v=x4oxq8Bqt8A

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3816822/Send-Nigel-Trump-flies-Farage-help-sharpen-debating-skills-clash-Hillary-Clinton.html

>decriminalised
>legalisation

two different things

why are right wingers such histrionic retards

Not bad :3
However, we're using that (picrel)

>thinking it is

>child sold into sexual slavery

ah yes very criminal

what is this? metro?

dat traktor

the retarded german is here again

youtube.com/watch?v=N78NfMXeA4A

this song makes me so happy

why does he need he skills sharpening, thought he won the first debate :^)

>implying it ever leaves

Nope, Moscow overground (Moscow Central Circle).

>rightwingnews.com

>Resisted the urge to move to London like all my mates after uni
>They say they feel sorry for me still living at home
>I pay £200 rent a month and my mum cooks most of my meals
>Can save 500 a month minimum, afford holidays, to go out, and other stuff
>Also ploughing money into a H2B ISA
>I'll actually be able to afford a house one day
>They're unironically saving a 100 pounda month so they can put down a deposit on a 100k studio apartment like this

rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-59249249.html

Yano when you're younger and you see those people in places like Hong Kong where they live in tiny spaces and you feel sorry for them, is this effectively just what's happening with London now and British people as the standard of living continues to drop?

he won the first 30 minutes, then the moderator started hammering on him and he went on the defensive

not a fan of the new stock at all

ugly trash

test

This is the same in all major cities worldwide

Stop complaining you stupid fucking Northern cretin

Do you even have two brain cells to put together in that tiny Northern skull of yours?

No one "won" the first debate, it was 90 minutes of 5 year olds throwing insults at each other

>£10k/anum
there are properties available right in the centre of my nowhere city for that price that take in much much more than that

stakeholders.ofcom.org.uk/binaries/research/tv-research/Offensive-language/Offensive-Language-2016-QRG.pdf

very funny read

Several actually mate.

I have the best of both worlds. Work send me to London semi regularly for meetings and i get to stay over, enjoy London then come back to my suburban/countryside house and relax.

It's a great feel knowing that when you finally get 10k together for a deposit on a box on somebody's roof greenhouse I'll be buying my second house to let out.

>the "we all lose" opinion

heard it a million times from buttbattered leftists

trump is clearly the better option this year

weird, overground stock is p. modern as it is.

Need to replace old thameslink shite.

...

Ginger Mild language, generally of little concern. Typically viewed as a humorous insult, however more
aggression or specific intent to hurt heightens impact.

wow rude

I've been supporting trump from day one but you have to admit the debate was just an all round mess

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moscow_Central_Circle

only his rambling about his temperament was bad