Dear Friends,
The United/European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English, rather than German, as the preferred language for American and European communications.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's and the United State's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and they developed a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English.
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". This will make English konform more klosely to German, which is a more proper language. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, so those would be dropd.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with " v". Vuns agan, zis is mor in kunformuns wiz German.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
