/brit/

Maybe

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

rice crispies

are you being serious right now

Rate my aesthetics

I have four pass accounts (need to be renewed though), all originating around 2013

I should sell them, make a bloody killing

Cred Forums Pass user since September 2013.

hugged a female tonight lads :)

RICE CRISPIES

>Hanging out with qt and fat girl
>fat girl starts warning qt about me, saying she doesn't trust me and to keep an eye on my hands
Bitch I've known both of you for less than a day, stop trying to cockblock me.

>now the newfags from 2012 all going to be acting like oldfags

She's probably just salty that you're not interested in her.

Shan't be reading your post unless you're passposting

Cred Forums Pass user since March 2016.

which king george was the best king george?

r I c e

sounds like a mentaller

yes

I'm guessing yes

they always do this

they are just butthurt because they know they will never be a romantic option

>tfw been here since 2011 but never got a pass

If they got a pass in 2012 chances are they'd been posting before then. People wouldn't buy a pass unless they'd been posting for a while.

I was here since about 2008? I think. Either way when passes were announced I absolutely jumped on that shit.

Fat women are worse than Satan.

you know it's true

>people actually bought Cred Forums passes

H O W L I N G

>people are paying to post in this shithole

who /boughttheirpassbecausetheyhadsparebitcoins/ here?

That's the thing though, I know how to deal with the fat cunts. You flirt with them just enough that they think they're the one you're interested in. I think she got worried because she was in the front seat of a car and I was in the back with my arm around the qt's shoulder. Can't prepare for every eventuality I suppose.

Always really used to associate the smell of her detergent with her. Smelt stronger than her perfume, a sort of soft chlorine smell. Not quite sweet but sort of airy in an artificial way. I miss that smell, lads. That feeling

cat's trying to climb on me

>I spend money on Cred Forums

what the fuck are you doing? I don't care how cheap it is, its the principle. Jesus

Smash that little piece of shit out of da floor

I'm an autistic virgin beta but even to me the fact that people actually pay for Cred Forums passes is crinegworthy as fuck

>why yes, I did shell out some of my hard earned cash so I could save 5 seconds when posting on an anime image forum

me on a night out

can hear the runts squealing that their masters spent money on "4 Chain" instead of their food for the week, pitiful

since nobody answered i'm going with King George IIV, because he reigned for 60 years and was well liked by his people

Tits lads desu

>Cred Forums Pass user since x
What the fuck?

>all these mad as fuck captcharunts
sad

>its another canadian tries to fit in episode

*yawns*

>People can actually get lad with that money but instead the spend it to a chinese cartoon web forum.

Went to church on Saturday night instead of Sunday, the Priest was making jokes about Yank politics and an old woman in a Clinton pantsuit was leading the singing, she was terribly off key. Also I got the number of a really cute Paki girl (one of the lighter skinned ones, she might be half) that smelled amazing. Had an actual conversation with her over tea that wasn't just about vapid shite. Feeling pretty good about it 2bh. Maybe /gf2016/ is a go after all.

>posting on an anonymous North Korean claymation forum at half 2 in the morning on a Saturday night
>"""""""hard earned cash"""""""

>implying implications

>captcha
>taking 5 seconds

more like 2, I just skip the odd German words ones (legacy)

>not using some of your benefits to improve the one thing you do in life, shitpost on /brit/

Going to that house party I told you about earlier. Hope im not too autistic

I used to think getting "wankered" would help me be normal, like a retard. Finally realiSed that only drinking a few beers is the best way to be social.

G E T L A D
E
T
L
A
D

hey

Cred Forums Pass user since December 2014.

>church
>Paki

Me

This actually happened to me with my last gf and it basically destroyed our relationship. She basically questioned every little thing I did and I constantly had to explain myself.
Never dating a girl with an ugly friend again, they are vicious.

Honestly thinking about it this way makes me think I should get a pass

woke up quick, at about noon
just thought that i had to be in compton soon

...

ahh yes

/blackgf/ inbound

OP there has superbly baited the runts

very good, carry on

its funny how libtards make fun of trump for his non anglicised name when his family was literally forced by society to change it because of culture norms

>This guy is wasting oxigen

You'd be surprised, a large number of the Asian immigrants we get in Canada are Christians. She was from here, though.

>can be born any race
>born native american

JUST OOoowowowoowowwo

Liberals hate the Irish as they're proof whites can be oppressed.

why are black people so ugly? why do they have nonexistant chins and jawlines? why do they have absolutely zero facial definition? how do girls find them attractive?

You've already posted this you twat.

did anyone take "drumpf" seriously? i thought it was a joke but apparently it was meant to hurt him

stop being racist lad

Only if they were naughty

stop being racist

have a cold and i don't want to go to bed cos i can tell tomorrow i'll wake up feeling really shit

all im doing is pointing out facts

Fuck off Elliot

AYOO WATCH ME DABBB

*dabs*

Is this visible pass thing permanent?

he posts it every night like the whinging welfare baby he is

STFU, Feel-Sorry-For-Me

Big benis

NEED a qt swarthy Portuguese gf lads

There's a leaf in my thread.

Our Dabbing united will destroy the capitalist system

what about yanks

HE BOUT TO DO IT

*DABS*

*scuttles away*

I'm stressed about nothing again. Need to calm down

*pulls a pair of calipers out of briefcase*
*measures various facial features of a black man*
as you can see, these features are not attractive

>tfw to overqualified for every job in the planet because of my huge IQ
you think being a genious is good? it has it's downsides too..

>disappear for 2 years
>come back
>all the old lads are gone
serves me right Tbh

god-tier by comparison

youtube.com/watch?v=tf7IEVTDjng

The dog

there's a yank in my thread
dear liza dear liza
there's a yank in my thread
dear liza, a yank
then call him a fat cunt
dear henry dear henry
then call him a fat cunt
dear henry, a cunt

>genious

oh gosh

Pls I need some you's. Help me

Me just busting out a quick nae nae before bed

ah, what the h*ll, I have a couple to spare

newcunt

what's it like living in a country with such a long history? do you a lot of time learning about your country in school?

do or did people actually follow this shitty trend in the UK?

◙═══╬

delete this one please

who /drinkingkillabrit/ here?

8=====D ~~~~ O:

'no'

dont think so. I only ever saw it online desu but normies do know about dabbing and my mates referenced ti a bunch ona night out last week

niggers are vile

Been here for 5 years

haha he actually did it
the absolute madman

business idea: Cred Forums passes, but free

The UK is basically little America at this point
We consume all your media

I wouldn't be surprised if the London youth say "candy" instead of "sweets"

bit racist that

a brit girl told me that she hears some groups say ass instead of arse. or use them interchangeably

people over here don't even realise they're using yankisms anymore. i used to work in a bar and so many people would say "can i get X" as opposed to "can i have X" despite the former being as yank as it gets

*swears allegiance to the Queen*

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Not liking this new pass gimmick lads, please keep it out of my /brit/ in future or I'll be forced to take action.

Business idea: Nintendo

>I wouldn't be surprised if the London youth say "candy" instead of "sweets"
the fact that this would be one of the only remaining cultural divisions between us and the states is quite telling. I think most english speaking countries are pretty much quite homogenous at this point

i'm sorry

*pledges allegiance to the flag of the united states of america, the greatest nation on earth. P.S God bless america, the beautiful home of the free amen*

Yeah they do that know
I think it's because "arse" is too British and Yanks are cool

Business idea: Charge the government to house criminals in a large facility.

yeah never even noticed that. I was about to say I use both, but I definitely almost always say "can I get"

Not enough, considering the long history that my country has in its back.

Also, thanks for the (you)

going to bed

Not liking this new yank gimmick lads, please keep it out of my /brit/ in future or I'll be forced to take action.

Got a sty yesterdy

it fucking hurts

Business idea: outsource all prisons to Serco

i got one when I was in cancun and I shagged a girl bareback on the beach

desu I say ass but its nothing to do with yanks and more to do with the fact it rolls of the tongue more smoothly than arse which feels like I'm going out of my way to prnounce the "r"

more of a soft H sound

ahhs

When do we get an edit feature so I can thank people for awarding me with Cred Forums gold?

business idea: gas pakis

youtube.com/watch?v=OORBq7YoiQU
makes me feel a bit sick to watch 2bh

got a splinter and it won't come out

hmmm seems a bit like you wanted to post this to brag 2bh mate

people are out driving their fast cars around

one just went by going at least 150mph

it sounded like a corvette

Gfs been drinking tonight. Gonna try and bum her when she gets here because she's a lot more suggestable when she's pissed

Business idea: abolish capitalism through proletarian revolution and transition to communism

what no I don't brag? The only time I bragged is when I talked about the time I fucked 3 girls in 3 days in Ibiza

More proof that the UK is USA 2.0

howling at this post. i know its fiction, but good lad

who here
/equestrianclass/

you plebs, proles and patricians can git fucked

some good lad has probably been loosening her up for you already la

What the fuck is a genuine smile?

what are they trying to do here? How do they think this will effect the US? Or are they trying to change things in the UK too?

I passed a cop car going the other way going 55 in a 30 zone on my way home and they didn't even turn around or do anything lmao

alri

>we all wear the scar

100% serious. She's on her way to my flat right now

>cop car

theyre doing this shit here too
they just hate cops, that's it

remembering the train hopping expedition i went on 3 years ago from NY to Wyoming

Told you you're proto-yanks.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no

apparently racism is a thing in the UK

I think it's just foreigners with paranoid schizophrenia not understanding what banter is

To show "solidarity" and apparently because black people are stopped for no reason and the police are killing them in jail

Which is rubbish

>tfw remember learning about MLK in school when I was young
>I used to feel good about myself knowing that I'd be one of the whites marching with him
>Tfw I think about it now and really doubt I would've even considered it

Not even racist. Just dont think I would've cared enough to get involved like that

hmm, just found that picture when i googled "runt"

imagine in the UK had a yank Prime Minister

ah alright then no worries lad
*walks off and asks someone else*

whoa

its not me tbf. thats from a reddit about train-hopping and being homeless

passposting test

dumb pirate frogposter

I was raised racist so I wouldn't of hsd this problem lmao

Thinking of making a bet. What can I bet on that guarantees me money?

͏ ▲
▲͏ ͏▲

feel like doing a cry

ok serious moral problem

>black people in X location commit more crime
>because of this crime prevention and law enforcement workers are more inclinced to suspect black folk of crime
>black people get searched and shit more often because of this

who is in the wrong?

is it the racism driving them to cause more crime or are their crimes causing the racism?

hillary winning

Does it show up lads?

Would never happen

Online works when Pedro does it

...

hillary winning

a mass shooting in the US in the next 6 months

youtube.com/watch?v=6V990AVdHiU

No

moots replacement is a fucking jew

Business idea:convert to Judaism and join the international banking cartel

Craig Ferguson sucks arse as well lad

craig ferguson has a fair bit of swag desu i reckon he'd have the best shot of fucking the qt actresses out of all of them

MY BRAIN IS HANGING UPSIDE DOWN

what're ya top three faovurite ramones songs??

1) chain saw
2) today your love, tommorrow the world
3) bonzo goes to bitburg

>hillary winning

what makes you so sure?

we are all memberts of the human race

*unifies Germany*

surely this will work out well

always laugh at this

parents are talking about how bad black people have and how it's all white people's fault again lads

(We're white)

>ramones

asked this one really hot girl who worked at the supermarket where the dark chocolate was one day and then she was like "and if you want some almonds to pair that with there over there"

she was a food genius because like... theyre a snack thats greater than the sum of its parts.... it just has like a really good synergy ya know.... fuck i want to marry that hot girl so she can give me more food tips.... like to play her ass like a bongo naw mean..... shit....

youtube.com/watch?v=tzvDc9dZUts

boppin

getting me in the mood for some big L

Watching match of your da

They're right though

>And then in the World Cup semi-final, Brazil, at home, in front of a packed stadium filled with their fans. Lose, 7 (SEVEN) - 1.

Literally could not write this.

chocolate covered almonds arent some niche snack only the NWO know about hahaha

My parents are both right-wing and casually racist hahahah

there is absolutely nothing worthy of salvation on the whole mcdonalds menu bar the cheeseburgers

uhmm did you tried to invite her to go out with you or something?

question for the yanks

which gun of yours is your personal favourite and why?

might suck my nigger mate off

Didn't wank today lads, I'm hyperactive

what?

mums a corbynite, dad isnt very outspoken about politics but he told me in confidence he voted leave, and he's casually racist all the time

can get a bit awkward haha

their grilled chicken burgers are unreal desu

centipedes are one of the most brutal animal types on earth

haha, you know what they say - when in Rome!

*hangs myself*

my custom 772-hydropaunic revolver 365 that my grandpapi got me when i turned 13

hey how are you chavista?

really?

now so

Rifle: AR-15 because it's fun as hell to shoot, ammo is cheap and plentiful, and because of the large aftermarket you can mod them out til your heart's content and spend as much or as little as you like

Handgun: Glock 19 because it's literally perfection in firearms form

went out last night lads

felt like a fucking fedora the entire time tbf

hahaha howd the gimmick go last night

go watch monster bug wars and get back to me

they literally never lose

man there isn't anything gnarlier than crocodiles

kek

My parents are both leftists who hate immigrants, the French, Americans, and the rich.

why? were you harshly judging all the normies due to your insecurity?

>glocknade

lmao

What about praying mantis? These motherfuckers are Earth demons

Sound like good sorts

It sucks having liberal parents especially when they think they're so much smarter and enlightened than everyone else because of it

I'm hoping to move far far away from them come the new year

Watch Japanese bug fights on YouTube. The centipede is a bad ass but the king of the bug fights was this giant cricket which would destroy everything in its path

>monster bug wars

fuck that sounds awesome, definitely watching this before bed....

tired

Adopt me

I know they can also play the "ancient unchanged apex predator card" but sharks>crocdilians

did you know sharks are older than trees

Dad is an outspoken turbo-rorke who hates Muslims and voted leave

He's a respectable London barrister though, so he has to hide his power level kek

*invades Poland*

bugs are basically fucking aliens that live on earth

I considered mantis extensively before making this post and I do not feel I was wron in my statement

Not to discredit the mantis, they are stone-cold face eating cunts

jumping jack ant vs hunstman spider is the obligatory first watch to introduce you to the series

youtube.com/watch?v=0KWJC7RKykE

no but i couldnt join in with them shouting facebook memes and so on

i always feel like im cut from a different cloth to them but then when I spend time with different people I feel the same

me BTFO

JUST

Have you ever actually seen a firearm in real life let alone shoot one?

>mum is a corbynite

did you inherit her stupid genes?

Believe this post entirely

*walks away*

hahaha man hows this for a joke right, worked on the saturday of a long weekend, went in to meet this girl and my mates and none of them answered my calls when i went in after calling them four times each haha ! feeling super anxious i just caught the bus back home hahah

imagine if that happened i'd be a super big LOSER right? haha shoot me

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organ_harvesting_from_Falun_Gong_practitioners_in_China

Ah yes, "the" Chinese

seen yes, shot no.

but I was clearly joking so dnt get to angry bby x

we're the aliens tbqhwyf

More like Comrade Corbachev

I get what you mean

I've had both my brother and a mate of mine try to start talking about memes and such and I always just pretend I have no idea what they're talking about

The thought of talking about the Internet IRL just makes me cringe

bare grim, have you spoken to them since?

I'd hook them if i were you

I know lad just giving you a hard time :*

really? like modern trees or fuckin tree palms or something? that's a pretty fair call they're fucking ballistic, sharks are awful hahah

forgive my ignorance on the topic

no
brother did

why do you ask

have you asked her if she genuinely believes he can win a general election?

They never vote though, they're like the equivalent of working class northern Brexit voters.

wtf what dog cunts

like trees on the whole

when sharks first came about trees and flowers literally did not exist

it was all mosses and self replicating plants like ferns

Shut up you fedora tipping twat

fucking spastic mates got to buy some md off me and the alleged human female is fucking copping it, serves me right for being interested in a bloody mentalist but she's super cute and has an ancient history degree

have a funny photo for the (uoY)

>Saturday night

Why are you here?

*turns up the volume on the /brit/ karaoke machine*
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE A
HEARTBREAKER
IS IT A LESSON THAT I
NEVER KNEW

no

I dont really much care whether she thinks he can or he cant

doubt she cares much either

>Shut up you fedora tipping twat

CAN'T EVEN BLINK WITHOUT PAIN IN THAT EYELID

who /billynomates/ here?

>its a flatmate just walked in on me having sex with her friend episode
>its her and her friend are in the other room arguing in whispers but i can hear everything they are saying because the houses have paper thin walls episode.

ah yes.

how horrifying, heres this bloke getting bit by a white shark off south australia

>student loser corbynite fucking ugly stupid fat twat

SUDDENLY EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED
MY LOVE FOR YOU

lel what're they saying

>md
>ancient history degree

the state of the youth these days shaking my head

storm out crying and shout "I DO HAVE FEELINGS YOU KNOW" then run back to your room crying and slam the door

pretty much one of the scariest things possible, shark jaws, (especially whites) are utter madting

FONT

>ancient history degree MD user

i can literally see her in my 3rd eye now hahaha no idea why'd you even bother with such a runt

aftermath

runt minds act alike

HE IS POSTING THEM

>tfw you have to do a 3000 word essay on Greek agriculture but you're coming down off 12 hours of MD

i dont take drugs anymore just doing a favour for a so-called mate

as if a cute girl with an ancient histoy degree whos currently studying law isn't cool

Well janny cleaned that up quickly

wait

is her name Shannon

Hm?

my flatmate is telling her that she is being irresponsible by sleeping with me and its not fair on her because it makes it awkward, or "awks" as she keeps saying....

is he okay?

no but i knew this sheila called shannon in year 11-12 who had huge tits

cannot imagine how much of an absolute runt you have to be to study anthropology or theology or history

bugs (hemiptera) are actually only 1 out of 29-32 insect orders

ah yes

are you the lad who frequents La Ruche on the reg?

what uni?

history is actually one of the most classy degrees

its very hard too

Ah yes

twitter.com/ManUtd/status/782190328258322432

historys really cool

remind me how elite your stem or economics course is

im a tradesman anyway so pull ya dick

nematodes lads..

The fucking machines.

He may come back later.

howling

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2015.

bricklaying university
im googling it now
nah im form nsw

hows the wild north?

I say this as a stem graduate desu

got massive respect for people who do history

work soon chaps x

*represses the screaming in the back of my head*

>Why yes, I do pay to learn about history, and I will be unemployed the rest of my life!

>Bricklayer
creasing

ah yes let's just get a job at some shitty place with nasty managers and annoying coworkers, all just to earn a shitty pay

jelly poorfags?

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2015.

luckily nobody cares about some irrelevant bitter yank on the internet x

i think i'm the lad youre referring to about going to la ruche on the reg ahaha

didnt go out last night tho desu haha

I like how american Netflix shows always make sure to say "I couldn't care less" rather than the dumb yank "I could care less" thing

Computer science here. Am I a runt?

what do you do?

need a little buffting to keep me company in the evenings lads

>yank being being this desperate for a (You)
Wew
Try Cred Forums, I think the runts there are still sperging out

Nah just a STEMfag redditor hun xxx

hi

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2015.

Yes

Got kicked out of uni and joined the infantry here

haha hello aha

i did but was getting NO lady attention and everyone went to rics so i scrammed! zip!

yes. companies would much rather hire rasheed from univerity of pakistan with a phd in software engineering who will work for 40k a year that a snobby student expecting twice that

>Got kicked out of uni
for what

...

new

one of the few yankisms that triggers me

it literally means the opposite of what they mean