/brit/

This has convinced me to just not renew it and stop posting here when it runs out desu. This site is going to become like Ylilualta, I can feel it now.

Cred Forums Pass user since May 2016.

STOP MIGRATING TO EARLY SWEDKEK THREADS YOU MINDLESS DRONES

Ylilauta is too slow

I DO AS I PLEASE

I can't help it the Swedes make migrating so irresistable

want a theresa may gf

business idea: everyone behaves kindly towards me

business idea: Australia and Austria unite

had a dream last night where i killed theresa may by biting out her jugular

What the hell is going on with all the banter threads

had a dream where I found a lost little boy on the streets and was going to adopt him but my boss at work told me it would be too expensive so i let him go ;-;

*barracks and harasses you*

wish i had one of those mums who was always cooking shitloads of delicious food for me

nonce

worst thread in history

*gaslights you*

not attracted to him

>Everything which involves a child is paedophilia

>wish i was indian

*prevents you from saying what you want to say*

nonces
pajeet

is this a joke?

ah yes slumlord decides to walk in right in the middle of my wank

FUCK OFF

*forces you to attend these meetings*

dormers

It is not being a nonce to want a child you know.

Great post my friend :)

>how was the food, user? :-3

thanks haha x

wassup my niggers

>reddit

yeah id say its a joke

Just since4pass posted to check how long i've had it

I've been here too long

>"Wait a second senpai"
*BRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTT*

rreeeeee get out get out get out

you taking the piss?

Anyone want to come and hang out at my house and play videogames?

Nope, I'm a good goy

*BPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT*

terrible meme

no

my dad's a much better cook than my mam 2bh

Sweden!

how long have you been here then?

Sweden!

reality is unknowable

m0AR

*walks towards you*

Why can't immigrants pronounce 'th' sounds?

Am I going to sound ridiculously posh in the future?

telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/09/28/th-sound-to-vanish-from-english-language-by-2066-because-of-mult/

me 2nd from the left

Lmao, Mosley was such a fucking bent twat. No wonder his son ended up paying for prostitutes to beat him up

why do grils not like me

because you're ugly

This is retarded.

It's hardly as if British people are the only humans on the planet capable of going "thhhhhhh".

just be yourself

‘TH’ stopping – the dental consonants ‘th’ will be replaced by ‘d’ meaning ‘this’ or ‘that’ will become ‘dis’ and ‘dat’

‘TH’ fronting – Words which begin with a ‘th’ sound will be lost so ‘thin’ will become ‘fin’ and ‘think’ will change to ‘fink’

Sound softening – hardly anyone says ‘syoot’ for ‘suit’ anymore and the trend will continue with the sharp corners knocked off words

Yod dropping - words like ‘cute’ or ‘beauty’ will become ‘coot’ and ‘booty.’

Consonant smushing – ‘W’ and ‘r’ are already similar for many southern English speakers but the letters could completely collapse into one sound. Words with ‘ch’ and ‘j’ could also become indistinguishable.

Glottal stop – the slight linguistic trip which turns ‘butter’ into ‘bu’er’ in dialects like Cockney and Geordie will become more prevalent across the country.

Emojis – happy face, sad face, or wink will become part of language and facial expressions.

FUCK OFF

Found the linguist.

Sweden!

>Emojis – happy face, sad face, or wink will become part of language and facial expressions.
dubious

...

youre not being yourself

xD

t-test

>"swedish" "men"

Because most girls prefer negroes

*Is self*
now what

...

Fuck nigger ass

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1475401039931.webm

>2:47

Oh yes I'll definitely be watching all of this uh huh yeah of course the whole thing no really I promise.

piss

out my ass

First 10 seconds are the relevant bit

Back when I was about 6, maybe 7, I would have laughed at this. Now that I am 35 and well travelled, I find this utterly pathetic.

I feel embarrassed for you.

>35
>still posting on Cred Forums

bart i am piss

based may just confirmed we are activating article 50 in march

lost my phone last night lads

ffs

normie btfo

nicked some cunts phone last night

gonna dick pic his aul one

>tfw never dropped a phone, never cracked or scratched a phone screen, never dropped a phone into a toilet bowl, never had a phone stolen

Feels good to be a sensible, responsible adult who knows how to look after his belongings.

there is nothing wrong with browsing the chon mature

what if your ideal future gf messaged you on tinder

I'm even older m7

>Brexit is going to be long, hard and unlubricated

you have a much bigger cock than my dad, user!

If you're a young person wasting your life on here you should kill yourself, seriously.

>india

what went wrong?

Ghandi

what else am I supposed to do, go outside?

don't make me laugh

Did anything go wrong?

When you're young is the only time in your life to act normie, your life is over when you get old so you will be spending it on the internet everyday to escape.

Things only get worse.

"Oi look at that bloody bastard slagging off London, tell him how the north is irrelevant"

only cracked 1 screen and never lost a phone in my 9 years of having one
gutted Tbh

>Browsing /r/Cred Forums
>Aus flag

Well that makes alot of sense

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2014.

Can make girl cum from missionary but I can only cum from cowgirl
Wat do

>since October 2014

>Cred Forums Pass user since October 2014.

kek

...

Go sit in a park with a barrel of wine, some pipe weed and invite strangers to sit and chat.

Yes hello, this is sweden?

>"

Wow rude

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2014.

>tfw I was like you until a year ago

since then i've dropped it and cracked the screen, had it nicked, and then subsequently lost the phone that i bought to replace it

dunno what happened to me this past year fucking costing me a fortune i know that much

Do you realise how rapidly your old social groups collapse in your mid/late 20s? Uni is as good as it gets. Most men over 30 are very lonely.

>Can make girl cum from missionary

Who the fuck cares if the girl cums, just do cowgirl all the time

kill yourself

>/brit/ lads make fun of Janny for doing it for free
>literally PAY to post on Cred Forums

t. virgin

Isn't it weird how certain arrangements of molecules and chemicals can stir such an intense reaction in the human mind? For example:

i.4cdn.org/s/1475344905474.jpg

they're the ones sticking up for the janny you fucking mong

if they put the countdown timer back to zero if you bought a pass i would MAYBE think about it

Now I've reached that age I can sort of understand why a lot of blokes stay in relationships with total cows who make their lives hell.

It's either that or be alone.

I'm offering you some sage advice here; get off the internet. I'm a fucking lost cause, but there's hope for you, my friend.

Think of all the time you waste on here and what you could do with that time instead - all the things you could learn, discover or experience. This place will not enrich or benefit your life in any way, shape of form.

>sold something to someone on gumtree
>said they'll pick it up today
>really relying on them showing up because i've got no money for food
>it's now nearly 8pm and they haven't shown up, all shops are shut

i wish people would die

>linking an image to an imageboard

felt nothing

povvo

...

Thing about buying a pass is, if you're not a janny's pet good goy wanker who is never going to get banned then the moment janny flips his lid and bans you for posting something he doesn't like then that's you effectively just thrown £20 down the drain.

hes afraid to download it incase mammy finds out

Get a job

>Do you realise how rapidly your old social groups collapse in your mid/late 20s
Mine collapsed when I was 18. Closest thing I had to a friend in 14 years was a schizophrenic in a mental hospital and he's dead now. ;_;

Why is this thread so slow?
Cred Forums pass user since September 2012

That's an appeasing body. Many thanks for this image, Harold.

only weirdos get up before 12 on sunday

how can you be so pathetic that after 8 years of primary school and 6 years of secondary school you only made 1 friend

If you get yourself permabanned, you deserve to lose your pass

er no lol

Lads, when will we rise up against the pass-using bourgeoisie and sieze the memes of production?

Why would I post a NSFW image on a SFW board? That would be entirely disrespectful to all those wageslaves currently at work this Sunday morning.

Also, the images is already taking up precious space on asian moot's servers so why would I want to rehost it and cause it to take up double the space unnecessarily?

THICC
lads

jannys not gonna like this one bit

>breaking global rule 13
Back to ledit you go.

>Why would I post a NSFW image on a SFW board?

you just did you useless fuck

The 14 years since I was 18, Mick.

*shows janny my Cred Forums pass*

now be a good little boy a run along

don't think there will be any bans here today otherwise your boss will be getting a stern phonecall

Taking a MASSIVE shit right now lads wish me luck
Cred Forums pass user since November 2014

except the average Cred Forums user is never going to get permabanned

Based Jew and his racemixing agenda.

*walks into the Ritz, London*
*receptionist tries to stop me - "sir you you have a reserv-"*
*flash my Cred Forums pass at her*
*she nods and shows me the private elevator to the royal penthouse suite*

got permabanned the other week for joking about shagging a 15 year old

>brown
not a fan desu

This bulky lad walks towards you at the sidewalk and bumps your shoulder causing you to almost fall down. He says with a stern voice: "Watch where you walk, apologize to me right now"

What do you do

Rape jokes aren't funny

been permabanned twice before, turns out their not very permanent

>sidewalk

FOY

huh really makes you think

the ritz mentioned

Morning lads

watched the louis theroux doc about the westboro like half of them quit
wouldnt mind doing the one on the left and have her as my gf desu lads

I once got permabanned on Cred Forums for winning a gets and instructing the Cred Forumstards to raid a football forum.

have a wank

*gropes you*

Is it the 13th birthday of Cred Forums?

FOY

...

forgot pic

>you are a solid rood boi who breakz the rulez

neck yourself runt

Good post

*walks up to the BA exclusive members desk for my flight*
s-sir you need a....
*flashes my Cred Forums pass*
ah right this way sir
*get taken to an exclusive boarding lounge with a swimming pool and thai masseuses and unlimited free food and drink and get automatically upgraded to first class for no extra cost*

ah yes....

dunno what you just said, bro. Thanks for the (You)s though

d

@65617989
FOY

my life is finished

bit early

>65617989
Sidewalk is american, we call it the pavement

you're in the club and this big gentleman walks over and hits on your girl
what do

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kennedy_curse

>it's now legal to shag Cred Forums in Spain

Nice

excellent post

being alone sounds better here

Dash off to the local kebab shop so he can review it for me.

*walk into the local spar*
*Select some crisps and a flump*
That'll be £2.60 sir
*Flash my Cred Forums pass*
What? Sorry sir-thats not a credit-
*Turn 360 degrees and walk away with my goods*

reviewbrah is a big guy

sit and observe the sheer autism unfolding before me

cant miss what you never had

a what?

*pulls the handbrake on my 2006 3 series (financed) outside the bilderberg conference*
*get swarmed by armed police and private security pointing guns in my face telling me to back off*
*take off sunglasses slowly, and retrieve something from my jacket pocket*
*police screaming at me to stop, but recoil when they see the shiny gold surface of my Cred Forums pass*
"gentlemen, please stop this charade"
*they kneel as I am shown inside to my spot at the head of the table*

but pavement is the surface of the road

the black thing

no thats called the tarmac

BIG

we call it the path you stupid american wanker

i wish giant eagles would come and rescue me like they did for bilbo baggins and thorin oakenshield and his men.

How did you post that Cred Forums pass thing

it's called the walkie-zone you fucking mong

>the tarmac

:DDDD

>[My4Pass]

Underneath your comment, no meme arrow.

>speaking directly to a Cred Forums pass owner

*smacks you on the back of the head*

have you no respect? you must direct questions through their mediator

>work tomorrow
>and the day after that
>and the week after that
>and the month after that
>and the year after that
>and the decade after that
>and the decade after that
>and the decade after that

>how to spot nouveau riche who bought their pass with lottery winnings or some shit instead of inheriting it

Cred Forums Pass user since December 2014.

4 wanks yesterday
2 so far today

...

this place is getting more like reddit by the day

So what will the pass users do when Hiroshima sells their details.

pass users are lower than niggers

test

[My4Pass]

Better than the neetlyfe unless you're in some turbo-runt office cube position.

...

can I just say how much I admire you

I know you must get this a lot but you're in the 1% of Cred Forums members who have a pass and I just wanted to say I aspire to be like you one day

hmm

Cred Forums Pass user since September 2015.

...

I already told the government I browse Cred Forums, it'll be fine

m8....

And what would you rather be doing - sitting on your stained couch of your benefits flat picking your navel and watching shit on TV ?

...

...

lol

Cred Forums Pass user since September 2015.

>2015
newfags

Cred Forums Pass user since September 2008.

I've only got one shot

since4pass

at least at the end of it all we get rewarded by being put into an industrial oven and burnt to a cinder

read the rules dipshit

>Will other people know I'm using a Pass?
>No. Unless you enter since4pass in the Options field

[My4Pass]

daily reminder theresa may is bluffing to cover up a soft brexit if that

...

Add this to your custom CSS to get rid of the Cred Forums pass sigs:

.pu-lbl {
display: none;
}

lol nerd

Cred Forums Pass user since April 2016.

testing

virus do not type

[My4Pass]

youtube.com/watch?v=rRmv4uD2RQ4

>to your custom css
fuck off nerd

didn't realise so many of you nerds actually had passes

howling over here

Test

t. jealous poorfag

Actual child

More proof Kpop posters are nonces

very impressive

would rather take a £20 note and give it to a paki that buy a pass

You've bought a pass simply the avoid the captcha?

Imagine not being able to afford a few quid a year for a pass

Imagine solving fucking puzzles to post on here

Imagine being a passless cuck

You ever tried to do the captcha when drunk? It's a fucking nightmare

I bought one so I could shitpost in China

Even then I would sometimes forget to turn off my proxy and I would post under a French or Yank flag

thats a woman

ah yes, Cred Forums premium

...

Child

imagine paying money to post on here

>moot spams his own website
>ok we'll introduce this temporary captcha system
>oh sorry it's permanent now
>BUT you can avoid this for a small yearly fee!

>THEY ACTUALLY PAY

would you fuck a prostitute for free?
asking for a friend

really makes you think

prooofs

opinions on including Cred Forums pass in amazon prime?

asking for a friend

Get a life you sad, sad bastard

how much more is a Cred Forums pass than a netflix account and what do you get for it

ye

>Get a life you sad, sad bastard

Yes if they're decent

alright lads you've helped my friend make a decision

>normies itt think they're better than me because they don't have a pass
lol

You save yourself 3 seconds of your life each time you post and support the 'Chon at the same time!

gf left me for a man from brum

having a bag of popcorn for breakfast haha what am i like!

...

>tfw abnormie and has never owned a pass

was in a thread with reviewbrah once and i said something along the lines of "fuck off murderer" in response to the usually meat-laden meals he reviews and he gave some fedora-tier response along the lines of "ah yes i like to enjoy a good steak" or some shit

woah get a load of this fucking mental case

alri fatty

runt

youtube.com/watch?v=4FZzhI3WyKA

don't hack me

Have ~10k spare but I wouldn't buy a pass, since that's fucking gay, and I have a job and leave the house every day and stuff like that.

how did you know it was him

got a feeling you're telling porkies pal

look who's talking

>he doesn't donate to his local mosque & cat shelter

>(((ezra levant)))

shan't be viewing a second of this

enjoy that captcha and post cooldown?

>tfw used to have a pass but didn't renew it because I'm saving up for the missus' engagement ring

...

have a savings account, a stable job, a wife, two children, and I go to church every sunday. STILL wouldnt buy a pass

FONT

>Dude quantum computing lmao

he vocaroo'd this

vocaroo.com/i/s1bPXyTwg7fG

but any tax you pay goes towards my benefits, free for me to waste on Cred Forums passes and anime merchandise

lefties are going to fling their shit around like apes at the zoo when are theresa triggers the 50

why doesn't Cred Forums have a shop yet. reeeeee. need some merch

jlist is shit

There's hundreds of burger shops in this city yet none of them can make a good burger

Why are germans so bad at food?

so bored lads . literally nothing to do. slow as fuck day here and irl

Just done a poo and STILL wouldn't buy a Cred Forums pass

>our triple AAA credit rating
oh fuck that's like 9 A's

howling
where did he post that? I thought it was just a meme that he browsed the chon

Cred Forums's heyday is over. not really worth paying money to post sooner anymore. maybe back in the day but not now

Ah yes
It was only Brexiters who were scaremongering

>You're all twats, now listen while I swear at you and spout off what ever Cameron told me to say

>have to pay your dealer in public

Hate doing that lads

>implying that solving capchas isn't second nature for me now

seeing 2 attractive girls but both are basically broken
wish I attracted normie girls

*unleashes a barrage of frenetic punches directly on the mandem*

...

very good lad

not when you can get banned so fucking easily

>activate article 50

>when you're shotting gear in broad daylight and some autist makes it completely obvious what is taking place
hate customers like you

sure thing

/r9k/ in june last year

>Shanghai to Urumqi
>2500 miles
>44 hours by train

>train ticket only costs £44

british rail take note

Duterte has the right idea with degenerate druggies

racists need to leave. it's not even a joke when innocent black kids are actually dieing out there

you're both sick in the head

cry more Ludford

NY

in what class?

you don't want to be seated for 44 hours mate

IT IS EARLY DO NOT MIGRATE

shan't be using this thread

STOP

Going to sit on your shoulders and unscrew your fucking head

>44 hours in a carriage surrounded by spitting and shitting chinks

pass

The seats are fucking horrible though
They're as bad as the Pacers here
They also don't have air conditioning or food service, only water that is sometimes hot

NEW

fuck off janny

Official new

So Labour have said that the Jeremy Corbyn membership should fight poverty not Labour MPs.

I'm sorry but that's exactly what we are doing. We are turning away from New Labour. The Labour Party that started the privatisation of the NHS, the Labour Party that followed in Maragret Thatchers footsteps and sold off council and social housing to the middle class and elite, the Labour Party that started an illegal war in Iraq that killed thousands of innocent people, a Labour Party that made millions of people suffer under austerity and neoliberalism and a Labour Party that was no better than the Tories.

That's the exact Party I don't want and that's the reason I didn't support Labour until Jeremy Corbyn got in last September.

Jeremy Corbyn is making Labour into the left wing caring socialist Party it should be and he's making it a Party with real Labour policies.