/brit/

Just bit my cheek while eating some salt and vinegar chips, NEED to die immediately

This is a very bad shop

Bottom left there's shadowing

*hacks the /brit/ mainframe and steals all the memes*

saw some glass bottles smashed in the road
jumped on my bicycle, went into a nearby pub
asked for a broom and started sweeping the glass off the road
the lads who smashed glass were laughing at me
i went up to them and said 'don't smash glass in the road, its not funny, there is an ambulance there imagine if it's tires got fucked, don't be a fucking waste'
handed the broom back to the guy from spoons
jumped on my bike and went home

Say it loud, say it clear,

Refugees are welcome here

you're right that is annoying

ordered a oneplus 3
coming on tuesday

Wish you had the habit of falling into canals, suffering from shock and drowning.

jk

jumped off* my bike

alri there lad what are you a fucking prefect

nice

Business idea: swap the tories for refugees

I key cars when I'm drunk if the car is on the pavement too much

*walks towards you*

would have given you an atomic wedgie there and then

all it takes for evil triumph is for good men to do nothing

once shit myself in my sleep when I was pissed

mates never found out haha

*Israel bombs you*

alri Jordan?

haha reply to me on facebook jordan

>freedom go to hell
WAT

Talked with my working class Polish neighbours who have been here for years now and they still barely speak English at all. Truly jarring.

t. middle class Pole

You're really just increasing your own insurance premiums as the underwriters will notice several keyed cars in the area and this higher risk will be reflected when you go to renew your insurance policy.

i'm a lovely boy when im drunk

When I'm drunk I turn gay

don't know how anyone can talk/listen to/befriend drug users, they're the lowest common denominator of the population and complete cretins

...

thanks, you too!

Business idea: force all racist UKIP voters to live with a refugee

Made myself a chilli last night and went ott with the cayenne chilli powder. Arse is absolutely roaring this morning, dunno if I'm gonna make it through this poo lads

haha

...

that would only make it worse

Good thing I can't drive then

this caricature is actually pretty realistic. the London suburbs really looks like this. you can't even walk comfily because the Pakis always beg for money or try to steal your stuff

I get really really gay when I'm drunk

Not even actually gay, I'm obviously just that comfortable with my sexuality that I can do that and it not be gay

t. man posting on anime website on Sunday afternoon

haha y- yeah

>mouyes

same

what other herbs and spices do you put in your chilli?

I have:

1g MDMA
1g Ketamine
50x 50mg Tramadol
28x 60mg Codeine
60x 10mg Valium
10x 2mg Xanax

Should I neck all this with a few Glenfiddich's and fuck this life off?

Drugs are cool and you're cool if you do them. You sound like a bender

actually crease whenever I see this lad's mug

probably not

Your parents do though. Why would you want to hurt them like that?

>hurr my parents are dead / double leg amputees / both disqualified from driving
ok pal

Unless you plan on turning your life around, yes you degenerate filth.

>not liking a rogue finger up the jacksie

bender

what the hell

My parents are both banned from driving for keying cars

I don't live with them, they live in a far away area, me keying cars in my own area while drunk isn't going to affect them

Probably should neck your self bus runt

What alcoholic drinks are not gay to drink?

Already tried. Didn't work out.

what the fudge

have you ever been in a smoking area of a club where everyone does md

literally the nicest atmosphere of any club ever, everyone is very kind and loving

youtu.be/7ek_O9nsWuc

Lager

Can you even put in any other spices apart from chilli powder?

Ingrefients: large onion, 1kg mince, shit load of chilli powder, two tins of kidney beans, two tins of chopped tomatoes, 300ml beef stock. Cheap as fuck and dinner for the next three days

beer

Trying to link to another board famalan?

Reminder that you are NOT middle class unless you own your home (no mortgage) and your annual income is above 100k.

Note that these are necessary but not sufficient requirements.

ok pal

Spooky

i have some hayfever medicine, ibuprofens, paracetamols and a cup of water

ale

100% agreed

All human trash, leftists, hippies or shitskins. Would genocide

has the since4pass thing gone? haven't seen it for like a whole thread

youtube.com/watch?v=WhwBBaL0_Xw

Cumin, paprika and a bit of cocoa powder

Working class and daddy's paid the mortgage off years ago desu

Good basis for social advancement, good luck.

yeah, oops

>#BanSikhJokes
>Think Twice before cracking a Sikh Joke!
>Sikhs are always on Frontline fighting for India's Safety!
>Share & Spread!

ah yes, bro tier

cumin
coriander
paprika
marjoram/oregano
optional: some chunks of dark chocolate

all are commonly used in chilli recipes

Are there any cocktails that aren't gay?

cumin
paprika
oregano
coriander

presses [spoiler]ctrl S[/spoiler]

You know all these rich rapper types who spend like £30,000 on a night out buying diamond bottles of champagne and that? Always wonder why they don't just spend that money on property instead. Like buy a flat outright and then rent it. Build yourself an ice property portfolio and pay a small group of people to manage it for you so that once your fleeting fame fades you still have passive income and are set for life.

...

godfather

>grinds coffee
>heats water to 80-85 °C
>pulls aeropress plunger to the 4 mark
>turns it upside down
>pours coffee and water into it
>stirs for 10 seconds
>puts filter on cap and screws onto end
>warms milk in the microwave
>allows coffee to bre for 90 seconds
>inverts aeropress and slowly depresses plunger into the cup over 30 seconds
>stirs resulting coffee/milk mixture until it's homogeneous
>takes that first sip

AHHHHHH yes

Crickey O'Reilly senpai

just dropped a bit of pasta between my boobs and I can't fish it out because I'm on a train surrounded by people

hmm

British woman

you fucking spanner

to link to another thread on Cred Forums, literally click on the "No." thing in the post, then copy the URL at the top and paste it in the post

Cred Forums literally does the rest

not fucking difficult

Sikhs are good lads tbf

always popped in the gudwara on the way home from uni for some free curry

youtube.com/watch?v=1W3sslyiUfg

...

property is not that great of an investment

stocks and bonds are better

Beans? In chilli?

Gonna try cumin and paprika next time, cheers boys.

>implying they don't do both

rappers and shit usually get paid to turn up to clubs like that lad

>he doesn't preheat his mug with boiling water

Enjoy your lukewarm beverage, pleb.

t. sanjeet

>implying Sikhs are not bro tier

this is how you can tell rorke has become detached from reality
Cred Forums can do cruel things to a weak mind

fuck sake

You weirdos call them "car wings" istead of doors?

WTF?

>naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/548488/playboy-model-strips-naked-Argentina-Bailando-por-un-Sueno-Strictly-boobs-bum-Monica-Farro

I wish we could just ban all Muslims from entering EuropE

Kidney beans is a key ingredient in chilli. Can't really call it chilli without kidney beans

creasing at your povvo life

*fires up Jura GIGA 5 and inputs the order for 2 coffees (one for the gf)*
*takes a sip (perfect temp, every time)

What's not to like?

They taste good, they help thicken the sauce if you break them down a bit, literally nothing wrong with them unless you're an autist

don't forget salt and pepper (to taste)

hi

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2016.

>get train home from night out
>full of junkie cunts and freaks

don't know where they all come from but it happens every time

Remember to fry the spices in the oil when you're cooking the meat and the onions x

>doors
Domicile entryways.

alri jew

Hi

Why is everyone freaking out in the thread you (wanted to) link?

he's memeing you

fuck off Texas

>he calls car wings """doors"""

Do soap operas like Eastenders and Corrie tackle pressing modern-day issues like transgenderism? I know they have lots of token pakis and blacks these days, just wondering if they have token panseuxals and that yet as well.

atrocious tits but I would have had the biggest lob on

piano lad wasn't best pleased

what does an english person when they say a pint of bitter? Is that ale?

...

How fucking rich are you?

post picsks

Need to get some work done. If I snort my modafinil, will it get working quicker?

>doors

yeah lad because they look like doors don't they

yeah mate let me just bolt my fucking car 'door' shut

yeah got a letterbox and all mate that's right

and a doorbell

fucking mug

I have a £6gorillion bank balance.

Kind of hope India and Pakistan go to war desu lads

modafinil is wee wee poo poo for normies who can't get their mitts on speed

WEE WEE POO POO

>driving instructor texts me
>"is it OK to move your next lesson to Wednesday at 3.30?"
>No credit so I can't text him back
>He texts me again to say he has made the change anyway

C U N T

Beer, ale, lager etc. Fizzy yellow stuff that tastes bitter.

speed just makes me chat shit to everyone instead of doing work

with modafinil I don't get chatty really, just want to put my head down and work

t. jappreet

L O N G B O Y

corrie has a downsy in it

fair play, they can act better than i can

>I have:
>1g MDMA
>1g Ketamine
>50x 50mg Tramadol
>28x 60mg Codeine
>60x 10mg Valium
>10x 2mg Xanax
>Should I neck all this with a few Glenfiddich's and fuck this life off?

*sits contentedly watching you all talk to eachother*

And create more bloody refugees for us to take in? fuck off m8

...

THE PALE PASTY STUDENT MONG SITS IN HIS ROOM, ALONE IN A SPECTACLE WE KNOW AS...
[RUNT LIFE]

HE TIK-TAKS AWAY ON HIS KEYBOARD POSING THE MOST ASININE OF QUESTIONS TO THE BOYS ON /brit/ - THEY HATE A BIT OF HIM
[RUNT LIFE]

planned to do a lot of reading today

only thing i've read is Cred Forums thus far

Is the glass big or is he very small

>That's right m'lady, I don't have unlimited texts

*Gets out the 6 cup moka pot, passed down from my Nonnina*

*unscrews the container of Illy coffee and puts a couple of tablespoons into the filter basket, tamping it down ever so slightly with the back of the spoon*

*screws on the top nice and tightly*

*puts it down on the aga hotplate*

Anyone for coffee?

he's a bad actor 2bh

So tolerant

>pay as you go

lads, might ask this girl on tinder out
she's decent and I'd have to make it happen with the next few hours as I'm not along for round

what should I say/suggest doing?

>car
>doors

lmao fucking yanks

do you call can lids "can doors" too?

Like this gimmick 2bqh

>Needing to text that many people
FONT

Imagine the type of runt that still uses pay as you go lads

Watch Deepwater Horizon in IMAX at the Printworks

...

1p per 1MB at Three is pretty decent tbqh.

>Why yes m'good sir, I do indeed have unlimited texts! Truly the number of texts I can send on my current mobile payment plan knows no bounds! For the meagre monthy price I pay I am free to send as many texts as I wish at no extra cost!

Alright m8 why don't you use your unlimited texts to text into one of those ITV quizzes that charge £5.00 a pop?

>...

Checkmate you pathetic runt.

>would you like to come round for a round or two of rimming?

The mandem

manny on the map

killed em

>hi there Mr Patel, can I have 10 quid on the leccy card and a 10 quid top up for my phone... it's err... Tesco mobile

>too poor to afford to pay for the device upfront
>paying twice the amount for the device
>installments

SOMEONE ANSWER THIS:

>quran stored incorrectly

imam will be hearing about this

lmao

>2016 anno domini
>Still texting

Send a picture from /r/massivecocks with the phrase 'Take it or leave it'

Not really I get unlimited data for £10

Reminder that sim only contracts are the only logical way to go

>a mortgage

*inserts key*
*emergency credit immediately drained from the top up*

>not upgrading to the new iPhone in advance

>open Battlefield 1 trailer
>every single character is black

ah yes

how much does it cost to power your house for the day?

new gf is staunchly catholic lads

wants me to go to church on sundays but I won't set foot in a house of lies

ffs

Why are all the manny and brum posters so obsessed with talking about their shitty cities

its made by swedes what do you expect

Why is Batman so bloody desperate to kill Superman?

Because he COULD, maybe, someday turn evil? So the solution is smash him over the head with a toilet until he's dead?

This film is so fucking long and makes no fucking sense

>2016
>communicating with other humans
>not exclusively communicating by telepathy

£10 lasts just over a week
Really don't like it and dunno why my landlord chose to use fucking metres, it's not a povvo area, I'd much rather pay monthly

Free booze tho

>iPhone
The runt of smartphones

No we call the can wings

>unlimited data for a tenner

With who?

nightclubs are atrocious

And do you use more than 1GB of data every month on your phone while outside (assuming you have WiFi at home)?

I don't, not by a long shot. A £10 top-up lasts me months.

I'm not going to tell you solely for mixing up 'who' and 'whom'

I'm a NEET with no friends, I send 1 text and make 1 call on average per month

Are the fight scenes good tho

O2 exclusive deal I've had rolling since 2010

You will never find a deal as good as the one I have

I do both but am from neither

Think I'm doing it ironically but not really sure

This made me sad too. It's completely misrepresentative of the truth to claim that many soldiers were nonwhites.

No, they'e worse than civil War, and they were already wank

TOBY SAUNTERS UP TO THE COUNTER OF MR PATEL'S AND ASKS FOR TEN BOB ON HIS LECCY CARD
[RUNT LIFE]

HE TOPS UP EVERY WEEK, WATCHING ITV ALL DAY REALLY DRAINS HIS FUNDS - BUT THAT'S JUST
[RUNT LIFE]

tru tru nigga i dun been hitting da crackpipe real raw nig style

Not they're not

The final one is especially bad, it's just dark and sloppy

...

independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/research-suggests-being-lazy-is-a-sign-of-high-intelligence-a7176136.html

Literally me

>you comin out tonight mate?
>we're going to 42's in piccadilly
>gonna be sick

Yep

hang on mate, credit's nearly out
i'll ring you back on the landline

the chix in Frasier are mucho bueno

how much per hour

The fuck do you do with all that?

Serious question.

Accidentally downloaded a 3gb torrent with mobile data the other day.

>Battlefield 1
>An all-black tank crew equipped with sub-machine guns driving a Mark IV at 50mph through a French hamlet

good basis for a Blaxploitation film

sounds like

>News article that states a negative trait is actually a positive trait

Why do people always share this shit on normanbook

>42's in piccadilly

how long does it take you to get there?

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2014.

NEW

yeah and lefties are "smarter"

she only looks good in like 4 of her Instagram photos
looks like a horse in the rest

...

Not a shut in abnormie twat mate

...

love these eyebrows for some reason

absolutely love them

youtu.be/iTFrCbQGyvM

*looks to the ceiling in a club as the pill kicks in*

Ah, so you're a teenager.

Carry on.

could balance a pint glass on her head lmao

owing money is literally and having phone plans is literally jewish tricks

>I'll mindlessly burden myself with perpetual costs that are a cunt to cancel, what could possibly go wrong?

marketing cannon fodder

>trump is stupid
>He's ran every company he's ever had into the ground

how true is this?

Going for a little afternoon nap. Hopefully I'll wake up with a stiffy and hump the pillow pretending it's PureDream off MFC.

APPARENTLY BEFORE JED HAD LEFT US

HE WROTE SOME POEMS

fuck off

>arsemad paki londoner detected

Same, great taste. They really fit his hairstyle and face shape, would shag.

3GB on twitter

>butterface

And you know those tits are deflated Spaniel ears down to her belly button when the bra comes off

...

dumped the gf over the phone, but she is still adamant that she can get me back

He said British women not Londoner women you paki twat

he may be a so called billionaire but so would i given his inheritance!

>And you know those tits are deflated Spaniel ears down to her belly button

is contract law a thing down under or is it all chaos and dropbears

eating a couple of pies

>having mates to speak to on social media makes you a teenager
Here's my wifi usage for comparison

normies, NNNNOOOORRRRMIEEEEEES

The most runt tier boards:
/x/
Cred Forums
Cred Forums
/lgbt/
If you've ever visited these boards leave now

>Not having Spotify Premium and a smaller phone bill
Runt 101

lads is a 136 IQ good? need some validation

*bluetooths JME&Skepta - spaceship at the back of the bus to school*

he was given a million dollars and turned it into a multi billion dollar company, seems smart to me

Mine

>The most runt tier board
>not Cred Forums

>Reddit is fun

>Instagram

no pakis live near me matey

I have Spotify premium and unlimited data you twat
Why would I assume I had free?

that puts you in what the top 3% so yes i would say so

>Wake up
>Ah yes Sunday already
>Time for work again tomorrow

Will unironically vote for whichever party first suggests a four day working week

youtube.com/watch?v=NiNQslJ9OYE

anything above 120-130 is genius

>Trying to get tits on snapchat off a slag last night
>tells me She'll send me them at ten
>then she tells me she'll send at one
>the she tells me she'll send at three

The fucking audacity

>ywn sit on the side of a mountain in a remote Chinese province in solitude whilst the wind rushes through your hair

Cred Forums and Cred Forums are the runtiest boards

good for what? useful work? no not really. Specialist work? nice if you can get it.

EEEEEEEEEEEEeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I used to be a Cred Forumstard for a good year or two, but then I switched to Cred Forums, /s/ and /k/
I'm now an Cred Forums main, with the occasional /s/, Cred Forums, and /ck/ visits

You missed
>Cred Forums
>Cred Forums
>/o/

Hmmm wonder what all these boards have in common

if you live in London, statistically you are lying

yes. im 104 so youre a lot smarter than me.

>Having Spotify Premium and not downloading the songs

Christ almighty

great post

fuck off street view twat

Who were you tested by?

Everyone thinks to MC tough your lyrics must be about negative stuff

tru tru nigga i dun been hitting da crackpipe real raw nig style aint no busta ass mofuckas here SLAYYY

>tfw most, if not all, of the people on your uni course have low self-esteem
>tfw it annoys you to fuck when they keep apologising over and over again and mumbling
>tfw you are the exact same
we're all just a bunch of idiots on this course. sorry lads

me on the road to socialism

those boards have nothing in common you melt

Not bad lad, I'm 151

nah, above 130 is """genius""". 120 is high

Makes 0 difference to me except pointlessly filling up space
I don't need to worry about my data you limitcuck

Gender studies course confirmed

>whilst the wind rushes through your hair

of course i wont. im going bald.

Whats her ig lads

alri einstein

You need me to connect dots that are this obvious?

I hope you have a family accountant to manage you financial affairs.

youtube.com/watch?v=scuwHxTOFdo

Think I fucked it lads

>A British man could become the first person in the world to be cured of HIV.

hmm

good lad

yes they do you mong

They all have an American majority odf posters

Cred Forums Pass user since October 2014.

I'm a qualified accountant
You can't name one drawback to my usage

everyone stop posting

tell us how it goes lad

...

Doesn't every board have a majority of americans?

chloechattty

pirates...

why did you even say that?

every board has an american majority you fucking mong

Fucking tune, if your not enrolled in your local Masonic lodge then fuck off

youtu.be/dSpOjj4YD8c

howling

Listening to some choons

>be me
>match qt on tinder
>have some banter
>get her number
>don't do anything because my autism would immediately become obvious if we actually met up
what a waste of time

>16 years ago there had never been a single case of a child being diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes in the UK. Now there are more than 500 cases of children who have been diagnosed with Type 2 in the UK - and the number is rising alarmingly fast.

hmmmmmmmmmmm. I wonder why

Alri lads

Cred Forums Pass user since June 2016.

She shouldn't be asking silly questions should she, silly bint

why don't we just kill everyone with HIV, would be MUCH cheaper

I think she started 6th form/uni or something like that and reinvented herself

NEW

WHAT IS ALL THIS BUSINESS ABOUT Cred Forums PASS USAGE

HIROSHIMAAAAAA

got an absolute cracker of a post but won't be posting it until there is a new

r8

*gets diagnosed with type 2 diabetes*

You might be surprised to know that it is cheaper on the NHS to treat the obese and smokers than old people because they die at a much younger age

what is this fatuous gimmick

>you will never tongue rachel riley's pink hairless anus

genuinely can't see the point in living lads

...

runt

It's fucking pissing down

well it's almost the post limit so there's time to think up a belter of a post which i'll post in the new thread and realise it wasn't funny ten minutes after the fact

Cred Forums and Cred Forums don't

but some other posters do still have that underage Cred Forums style attitude about them like americans do see

Oh for fucks sake
Knew he'd fuck it up

...