/brit/

contributing

in rehab now for my crippling broiled tilapia with thai coconut-curry addiction

Doctors say even seeing a picture of fish could trigger me into a relapse

>part of the uk north of carlisle
>meh

>scotland
>HAHA WTF GET A GRIP NOT REALSCROUNGER LOL

why do english people act this way ?

Just got home from my £24k pa job as a consultant at a semi-decent recruitment firm in the city. Pulled up to my newly rented 3 bedroom Barratt house in my Volkswagen golf gti. About to put my feet up and watch Netflix with the girlfriend on my wall mounted plasma Tele whilst eating a ready meal from Waitrose, after that i might do a cheeky watch of the game whilst she's away running a bath.

I wonder if arsenal will infact beat man u? After all i did put a cheeky lay bet on at work with the lads. Speaking of the lads, i wonder if we'll go for drinks down at vodka revs this week? Last time it was banterous with "Pincher" Pete from sales slapping that waitresses arse and getting kicked out of the club, haha, we ended up in the kebaby chatting shit about the tory government, haha.

I'll just check my bank account on my iWatch to see if i can finance this weeks "shenanigans", ah! of course, i'm overdrawn, best ask the gf again see if she can transfer at least £800 from her beauty therapy pay packet. I'll make up for it by doing a facebook post with a pic of me and her saying how much i am grateful, If not i could always put a claim in at the ole bank of mum and dad, haha.

>this is the future my country has chosen

convinced that phimosis isn't a thing, you're just wanking wrong. everyone's foreskin is tight when they start wanking.

Our propaganda says that wikileaks is west propaganda

>not taking that sausage

Kidulthood is the best British film of the 21st century

Prove me wrong.
Protip: you can't

planning holidays to edinburgh

GREAT post

this post made no sense at all

POST TITCOWS

you don't rent barratt homes lad

good post but it needs work

>younger brother who just wants to fit in with his older sister and ends up doing shite like this
Tragic.

You ever notice how all beta males have older sisters and all alphas have older brothers? Growing up the younger brother to an older sister is a 100% predictor for autism.

It's pretty good actually, but not even close to being the best

>haha, we ended up in the kebaby chatting shit about the tory government, haha.

Feel a lot of these new build types would be Tory or non-voters

just my opinion

...

Hello.

Please use the correct thread.

when people talk about the uk scotland is included and everything's fine.

when people talk about scotland, english people chimp out

Anuvahood was better

I hated literally every character in Kidulthood except for the angry older brother near the end

piss off you autistic twat

Mah nigga

it's not four lions mate

>20:32

Well past the time of the night where it is completely impossible to ignore the fact that you have work tomorrow and you will need to get ready for bed soon in preparation

Just end my life.

some german lad posted it

i.4cdn.org/gif/1475433435339.webm

>ywn turn your best m8 who you secretly have a crush on into a vampire to join Bacchus' harem of the night just in time for Halloween

best british movie is human traffic (which is also better than trainspotting)

Younger siblings all around are typically prone to growing up to be beta, doesn't matter if their siblings are male/female. There's a reason heirs to thrones have always been the first born son.

How the fuck can you hate trife

Fuck off rorke

no but I want it too

>didn't even pay for this

watch gia (1998) when you get the chance

the matrix and inception are the first movies in the last 10 years that made me really think

nice tits

Genuine image of my girlfriend

...

me on the left
i.4cdn.org/wsg/1475395392674.webm

shame about the downie face

Just got served by some guy in a burrito shop who looked like he was pinging his nut off lmao

Was gurning a but and really wide eyed

figures, I don't think he's ever met the barratt type

they certainly don't have iWatches, more like they have a Daniel Wellington the gf got him for their anniversary (he got her a michael kors bag)

and they probably watch more ITV than netflix

is that Ethan Klein in the back?

danny boyle is the best mediocre director

dont get it

...

>older ftm sister
what am i

...

ill amend appropriately

*cages the runts*

ahh yes

It's Virtual Reality and he pushed him in real life when in the VR he was at the precipice of the rollercoaster drop. In the guy's mind he felt he was going to plummet to his death because his body was sensing falling forward.

Remember last year when
Remember last year when two Premier League players were supposed to come out as gay in a few weeks? Who was it? Redpill me on gay football playersř to come out as gay in a few weeks? Who was it? Redpill me on gay football players

I am a Citizen of the World. I went to film camp. I've read Sartre. I've read Thomas Pynchon. I've read Ayn Rand. I've been to Italy. I've been to France. I speak French. I've been to Spain. I've been to South America. I've been to Kenya. I've been to China. I backpacked across Europe. I prefer tea to coffee. I've been to Greece. I love Greek food. I'm a foodie. I'm always on the look out for a great little place to get breakfast. Sometimes I go to Barnes & Noble and lose track of the time. The black people that I've met said that I have a lot of flavor. I love my MacBook. But I also love my MacBook Pro, because it has the word "pro" on it, short for prolapse. I drive an ancient Volvo that barely starts. The Matrix and Inception were the first movies in the last 10 years that made me really think. And yeah I paint, no big deal. I think conventional painting rules are stodgy, archaic. To bend the spoon you have to realize there is no spoon. Think outside the box. Coexist. Coexist and one more thing. If you don't know the difference "Your" and "You're"... "Your" and "You're". You're a fucking idiot. Get the fuck off my Facebook wall.

>when a scotchish runt replies to you

is boardwalk empire good?

im kissin on her neck and her pussy just too wet

but you can actually go one rollercoaster in real life

why the need for a so-called virtual reality

alri charls

*replies as a uk runt*

>I prefer tea to coffee.
What is this supposed to mean?

Coffee is disgusting. Nobody actually likes coffee

soshito nakagata and mori inmoto

me

Oh fuck yes.

youtube.com/watch?v=vw5pYWb-Ppc

no future no past no end

cancelling my chon pass right now

youtube.com/watch?v=Eltn_nyOPh8
choonage

would like a friend

its starting to dawn on me that Donald Trump is literally going to be the next president of the USA

this is actually surreal. whether you like him or not (I kind of like him 2bh) ... its grotesque when you think about it

very good. they made a pretty horrendous decision in season 2 that lowered the quality for a while, though, but it picked back up again

probably in my top five tv series

>American saab police cars

Always facinated me as a boy

your car is german, your tv korean, your watch swiss and yet you have the CHEEK to demand controls on immigration

how many more countries will they invade i wonder

Just a rebadged GM product la

doing a think

less than hillary will

i'd like more koreans

don't have a watch, car or tv

Question lads:

Are neckbeards acceptable if the hair isn't JUST on your neck? I've got hair on my face and jawline etc too but I'm worried about I'll have to shave my neck so I'm not seen as a "neckbeard"

anyone else had pneumonia here before? how i'am i supposed to know if i'am getting better or not? doctor told me to come back if i dont feel better in 3 days and gave me some meds that fucked up my mouth and gave me a diarrhea

literally none

we'll clean up syria in under a year and then leave the world alone

>tfw born just in time to see a US president that had his own reality TV show and fought in WWE

i like trump desu but its still hilarious

source of this pic

Can I trade all these spics for Germans, Koreans and Swiss then?

The Germans, Swiss and Koreans are all from highly developed nations

post pic

twitter.com/TheFunnyVine/status/780474814670770176

This is literally all of you

>Have argument with mum where she's in the wrong
>She expects me to apologise
>Instead just don't talk to her for a month
>She gives in and tries talking to me again first

Do women always expect you to say sorry to them even when they're in the wrong?

hehe i believe you

You better be backing up your data
someone's backing it up

it isn't you?

Need a Scotch GF lad

It's in the /qa/ thread

sounds lewd

Okay show with a shitty final season.

wtf am i looking at

yeah but i never went to the doctor coz im not a soft cunt

>grotesque

You mean awesome you fucking potato nigger.

>TAKE THEIR OIL

Rate my hat

the 9000 was a joint venture with fiat it wasn't a rebadged vectra

And every other place had crown vics/suburbans and shit according to your movies

yes
my ex did
I got fed up with the woman crap and just dumped her

why? don't you enjoy eating gentlemens relish?

>calls digital movies "films"
how to spot a wanker

is this your first interaction with a woman?

martin shkreli writing up a business plan to take over Cred Forums

>funnyvine

Louis Theroux on Savile at 9 lads

you probably were in the wrong m8

Then you obviously didnt have pneumonia you leprechaun fuck

Britain makes a lot of cars

Weird how there is no mass market british car though

what a nerd

>pass user since 2016

Shan't be reading your post

don't shave your neck completely, it makes your beard look wear and your head look tiny
keep your neck and cheek lines in order

>he flicks "digital movies"
get a load of this bozo

youtube.com/watch?v=4VSNfwFV0Ck

he is live streaming right now

Crown Vics, Caprices, etc. All big body American sedans really. But yeah you're right, pretty odd to see. Most police have switched to the Dodge Charger now and seem to love it.

yes i did you fookin fairy man up

...

>y*nks

>I got fed up with the woman crap and just dumped her

>According to Gibbon’s book, Gove and Johnson’s Vote Leave team knew this – but ignored it after polling experts stumbled upon the fact that it had huge appeal to working class voters, who regard Australia as white.

>Gibbon writes: ‘The policy, as one senior Vote Leave strategist told me, was all about sending a signal to white voters.

>‘Australia, along with Canada, is probably the nation most commonly perceived by Britons to be overwhelmingly “white”.

wew lads, how silly were they for thinking Canada and Australia were white haha

Jaguar Land Rover pride of Solihull

Mmmm. Really makes you think.

Yeah how about you stick that pot of gold up your arse you gingernigger

creasing at the fact that an official fleshlight twitter account exists and 56000 people follow it hahahaha

Can someone explain yanks to me?

she had issues, like proper issues
I could handle issues and woman crap, but not from the same person

Gibbon says a ‘Pro-Brexit Tory who worked closely with Gove and Vote Leave’ told him: ‘We weren’t meant to win. That line – “You were only meant to blow the bloody doors off” – it’s true.

‘The plan was to run Remain close enough to scare EU into greater concessions. None of us thought that we were ever going to win – with the possible exception of Dominic Cummings, who just wanted to drive a car into the Camerons’ living room.

banter

she's LITERALLY done nothing what so ever to even begin to suggest she's anything like Thatcher

nice webm

best monty python movie?

It's delicious mate. I have it for breakfast on hot buttered toast. 10/10.

youtu.be/5NsrwH9I9vE
>This might be the next president of the USA

terrific webm posting skills m8

ah yes.

yanks.

Australia actually is pretty white though.

However, I have no idea how anybody could somehow think that Canada is white.

Business idea: split /brit/ into /thenorth/ /thesouth/ and /celt/

Midlands and the Welsh would be welcome in /thenorth/

youtube.com/watch?v=FUL10X8tHbU

night lads

Non-broken version

trust a frenchie to advocate sticking things up yer arse

I like anchovies so I might give it a go

Nah I cba haha

I get what you mean but that guy hardly has a beard at all. I'm worried it'll look too barren without the neck hair because it dort if all blends together, but I don't want to look like an autist either

>scare EU into greater concessions

We already had the best deal out of the entire thing, what more did they want?

Has anyone here ever lived or worked in Italy? Got the chance to relocate but don't know what I'm doing.

why do koreans love white guys?

Life of Brian

alri alri alri

who doesn't

Yeah mate I run a beach resort there, shag Italian women all the time they're right dirty slags.

>Virginians

There is literally nothing wrong with this.

Are you sure this is even yanks? No one is fat.

They're Anglophiles m8. Love us. Where would you be relocating to?

>building a wall in calais
>bringing back grammar schools
>is telling new immigrants they can fuck off unless they're rich

Don't know how you could be against this unless you're a mass immigration muslim lover

actually got the biggest stiffy watching this

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1474906037497.webm

One of the kpop runts just posted this after I battered him at the manny meetup

Wakefield HS. Arlington, Virginia.

300k starting? If serious then where?

grammar schools don't really work 2bh lad

alri Jay?

We're whiter than most countries in the world barring Europe and Australia.

getting on the phone to ludders to sort you out

>all my module essays have the same deadline

mean

Lad you seen the Chinese and SE Asians flooding into Oz at the moment? Gonna be half Asiatic soon enough

yes

hit ctrl + alt + left and literally lost my fucking shit wondering what the hell happened

an even better deal obviously

Canada for the moment is still very white

If I ever see him around wolves he can get it too

>yanks

youtube.com/watch?v=l2XztHkDG4s

Oh my days
Can't get over how bad this is

I look at all the successful people in life who didn't have their billionaire parents send them to Eton/Harrow/Winchester/Dulwich/Repton/Marlborough/Rugby. All grammar school educated.

Would be Catania or possibly Cesena.

how exactly does one 'give up looking for work'?

>yanks

thanks no yanks

Know for a fact that I'm going to shag my mates bird when they break up

More of an associate than a friend though

What are some jobs where you just act like a human automaton, moving items from A to B all day without having to talk to other human beings or thing about things?

eyes are feeling moist lads ;_;

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1473868369462.webm

>people like this exist
"Strategic brilliance"

go on the dole

You seriously see nothing weird about this?

Every single one of my housemates just spontaneously evacuated laughing their heads off about going for drinks and getting smashed on the last day before term starts

just sat here in my bedroom in my underwear listening to their shreiks of joy and laughter fade as they walk down the street

nobody even bothered knocking on my door, and I probably would've gone with them all too.

Hmm.

Time to turn the speakers up and crack open the whisky.

go on the girl

twitter.com/theresa_may/status/782660601285926912?s=09

machine operator

didn't know about this...

Lorry drive.r

i'm sorry

>american patriot
>idolises germans

mong

>these are the type of people who have ruined Cred Forums
>these are the type of people who think Cred Forums was made for them

sad and bad feels

>The memes are pretty lit
Ah yes so called """"""""people""""""""

...

Entry level though.

>Smarter than You
he wasn't wrong O'donell

I was just kidding. Yeah it's pretty dorky but they're kids m8.

youtube.com/watch?v=LJnJX10PUX0

Used to do this at school hahahaha

dole is all job seekers allowance

>taking time out of your day to care about badgers

Who the fuck has time for this shite?

*teleports back to 2008*

ahh, yes

things are much better now

leftists sphinctersavaged into the stratosphere

On both counts?

What are my chances of getting any level of paid employment at all with absolutely basic conversational Italian (i.e. start learning and practicing now)?

I didn't ask for this.

Having a cry.

Disabled Labour-voting spackers like the one pictured

she wants a badger from brum

in theory

Fuck me

There is no saving them

business idea: hire a car in Vancouver for 2 weeks and hike everything along BC Highway 99

need a big load of spunk to be dumped into my bum

>just b urself and live fully now

it's all so clear now

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1474857419970.webm

She will make a great tory prime minister

Louis Theroux thread

*outsources machine operation to pakistan*

hmm yes

kill yourself when you're out there

shave the neck faggot

cesena is better because northern you are and more you get paid. what's your job?

biznizzle idea: anyone who has EVER posted on Cred Forums can only post on Cred Forums from now on

mummy may would step on all of their bollocks and crush them to smithereens

...

Sounds nice but how would you make money on it?

business idea: move to tokyo and join a band and become famous for being the poster white guy who writes good songs while shagging the female vocalist

Anyone know if this is authentic Yorkshire Tea? Typically, I order it directly from England on Amazon, but I saw pic related in the supermarket yesterday. It says that it's imported and distributed by a California company. I taste-tested it and it seems to taste roughly the same.

will watch it tomorrow on catch up but thanks for reminding me

>reposting

everything ends badly. otherwise they wouldn't end

>you WILL die one day

why would I want to make money along it?

good thing I'm a pathetic waste of space with no ambition who lives with his mum

;_;

...

had my doubts at first but I quite like her desu

No, it's the notorious counterfeit Yorkshire Tea

looks the same as we have here

Don't think it'd be fake lad

good lad

She'd be better if she wasn't a social progressive wog, feminist and paki panderer

t. Actual Rorke

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilmington_insurrection_of_1898

wish i could turn back time...

to the good old days...

so what do you think of the Cred Forums happenings then lads?

heheh

Business idea: smoke a spliff and hope I feel marginally better about my shit excuse for a life

yea they sell it in like every market

prefer Twinnings anyways

...

I would imagine so

cat just fuckin sneezed
think i might have to beat her

business idea: sell fake imported tea to the stupid yanks

That's the thing, it's my gf who has a job offer, €1100/month in Catania. I'm a bookkeeper so unless I can get some 100% online clients before I left then I'd be starting from scratch.

I don't really know what the cost of living would be yet.

just hiroshimoot trying to monetize the 'chon

no big deal

...

i think hiroshimoot is a mong (literally aha) who thought he could make money off this shithole and is now only feeling the burn

...

"car-mel" or "ca-ra-mel" lads?

only chance you'll ever get to beat some pussy

Nipping to Winnipeg, you lads want anything?

carmul

its either Hiro tanks the place to squeeze out any revenue he can before dumping it or someone else buys it and we worry what they turn it into.

*throws it into the harbor*

What was she thinking putting those three berks in charge of this.

the second one obviously

care-a-mel

ca-ra-mel.

CAR-MULL is a yankism.

bring me back a gf

chipper

cant believe the first george bush is still alive. guy must remember the fucking crusades

cob

mong

Can't believe they thought this was a good idea

That Cred Forums banner he uploaded brings me back 2bh

good lad

*gives you a small loan of a million dollars*

make it happen lad

HIIIIII WOOOOOOWEEEEEE

youtube.com/watch?v=poz6W0znOfk

Jimmy Carter is still alive

Cascadian independence please and thanks.

Could heem all these arrogant students with one arm behind my back

so when will 'lad culture' finally come to an end?

This 2bh
Car-mull makes you sound like a dullard, like you can't pronounce an extra syllable. Understandable for yanks, not so much anyone else

Chip shop/fish and chip shop la

it contains 2 a's so what do you think

ah yes new towns

Best poster in /brit/ tbqh lads x

KAHR-MULL

Anything else makes you sound like a huge queer .

>mfw Yanks pronounce 'graham' as 'gram'

a FUCKING tree

never
lad for life here

will put you on a bonfire and and burn you, blairite scum

Ta gueule Angus.

grahm cracker

grim

Literally never seen so many white faces together on Birmingham new street before

>Americans call this a boo-ee

since vaporwave is dead, what genre should i listen to to be a pretentious hipster 2cool4school twat?
>inb4 grime

fucking hell lads this Louis Theroux doc on Saville is so dark

youtube.com/watch?v=ZJOOdTaX6_o

me

>tfw Yanks say 'crayon' like 'cran'

Worse than Cockneys

fuck off, the h is silent, blame the frogs.

youtube.com/watch?v=CeRoi43azds

yanks, what do you lot call this?

>be yank
>pronounce twat as twot
>still spell it as twat

>yo dude, here's my good friend - creg

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1475438345562.webm

take a look in the mirr

what fucking board is this on

Brock - lee

probably the major expense is the rent but i live in Rome and here is quite expensive compared to other cities as catania. you should keep your clients because i don't think you can work here as a book keeper (different laws and shits) so i can't help you that much with advices

how do you pronounce these again?

youtube.com/watch?v=rdjqIBZoIEY
neoclassical darkwave

how the fuck do you even get carr-mul from caramel

fucking yanks I swear to christ

still laffin that sara recorded a really ugly vine and she never did another one

What is this?
2014?

Anus

this had me absolutely rattled when I found out

cil ann trough

Japanese jazz-fusion
youtube.com/watch?v=t94DyU_h2Jc
Filk
youtube.com/watch?v=LA1sA5MD8J0
Neo-Medieval
youtube.com/watch?v=iEVmyruTfxo

>this is what you want to build on the green belts
utter scum you are

tbf how do you pronounce swat?

HoLV best cocteau twins album

was literally going to post the exact same desu senpai

scran

no it isn't

MK is the complete opposite of what we need

pretty sure they already replaced that with grime culture

every white british teenager I see these days acts like they just walked off the set of Kidulthood

...

just found the link to renew my 2012 Cred Forums pass

is the signature still a thing, I want to shitpost with it

Watching this Louis Theroux thing on BBC 2 lads

Suh-lantro

kek, it was horrendous tbf, not sure what was going through her head when she uploaded it

...

cone but with an S at the front

...

any of these

red onion

oh you bitch

is it a herb or an ERRB

/Buckinghamshire/ lad?

to-mah-to

or

to-may-to

urb

You brits talk like complete fags brah.

>Cilantro
wtf

so we'll hate him...

What do you think of this music ?
youtube.com/watch?v=cI_YixsqrfA

...

>we

>tew-may-toe

I'm employed and do a few private clients on the side, so if I can get and keep enough work while moving abroad I would do that. Equally I'd be happy to ditch bookkeeping altogether.

How much is your rent in Rome?

Is there any tourism around Catania or call for English speakers in basic shit like bar staff?

Is this what your average Frenchman looks like?

No mate

yes

rather ill lads
don't want to go to work tomorrow

my m8 rented a car in vancouver