/brit/

Alri lads

Where am I? Guess and i'll tell you how far as the crow flies

send her my way lad, i'll keep her mouth full

my sister thinks i'm the coolest thing ever apparently but for the most part i only communicate to her in grunts

Germany

frankfurt

germany

haha

what do i get out of that?

592 miles

need a city

GFs are overrated. I've never felt better after breaking up with my internet gf

have a wank to the thought

a fistbump

rostock then

going to the clinic, see you lads in a hour.

poland

903 miles

what's got you so riled up?

is your doctor going to examine your willy/stick his finger up your bum?

honestly looking forward to being 40 so i can get female doctors to stick their finger up my bum

Hey welcome to KFC, can I take your order?

the aids clinic i bet

I wish m8. I meant the methadone clinic.

Messanges, France

bring us back something

248 miles

wrong coast lad

lucky, wish i had a prescription to get high

Going to work bye

mum found my cum shoebox

getting the daily sargon in

Every time

Just gonna stick to jav and hentai only now

yeah, can i get a box of "fuck off" with a side of "murderer"?

worked with a former heroin addit, homeless, the whole lot

didn't convince me heroin use or even methadone is a good idea let me tell you what

>tfw jav has started letting blacks in

better late then never to start no fap

combo 4

Took Xanax for the first time the other day and fucked up my entire weekend.

>worked with
Obviously weren't doing too much work if he's homeless

>Reasons to live:

its actually so annoying when that happens
kills my boner instantly

we're out of fuck off sorry

>fap
FOY

3 weeks into my course and already behind on all my lectures haha x

nothing, it's just playful banter with ivan

VR is just around the corner.

How did you get Xanax, friend?

it's all a choice m8

if he wants to be a homeless heroin addict then more power to him if i'm completely honest

mas altaba, spain

no one calls it nowank though

fap is an internetism, I don't think yanks use it IRL unironically.

we say jack off

is he on methadone maitinence now?

53 miles

nearly there

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future

*memes uncontrollably*

a nonyank would
FOY

FOY

a friend of mine has a hookup in chicago and brought some home with him

hmm

"fap" is an onomatopoeia, yanks don't have a monopoly on those

>Googles fap
Ah yes, very good.

the racewar will have killed us all long before then

wahey that's my name :^)

WOAH

i don't buy into that because addiction removes one's ability to make free, informed choices and he was homeless more due to his own shortcomings
how'd you do that

t. Jack Off

Bloody hospitals, I hate it

FOY

can i help you off a horse?

convinced the nonce has contacts in the thai royal house lads
no other way his crimes could go unpunished this long

Shut the fuck up Aussie shitstain

I ended up spouting a bunch of shit about jews, and then I passed out until the next night, and I was supposed to write a paper due in a few hours

passfags out

> implying it wasn't a choice to use the most addictive substance known to mankind in the first place

maybe by encouraging racemixing, the jews are trying to prevent the racewar that could end humanity

maybe the jews are in fact the greatest humanitarians we will ever know

>"A paedophile who led a child sex grooming ring in Rochdale tried - and failed - to overturn his convictions with a European court claiming an all white jury was part of a conspiracy to scapegoat muslims"

anyone seen that new louie doco about the nonce yet?

I saw a bit of it last night, yeah

how come you didn't finish watching all of it? was it crap?

youtube.com/watch?v=dPB7nsXEXvI

this just popped up on my youtube

the great debate

Cerbère, France!

not clicking on that spoiler

fuck off pommy, this is an australian thread

orange

erm

is it bad that I don't see him doing anything wrong there

I do that with girls I know all the time haha?

Started before I got home

daily reminder that jimmy saville did more for charity and good causes than you would in a thousand lifetimes

test

oh my fucking life

Good job lad

That town is where french and spanish railways have to meet because the gauge changes

>mook adds text for pass users
>"yaaaasss, sweet attention! praise mook!"
>everyone filters them
>"wahhh moooook, my attention's not workiiing!"
>adds unfilterable cuckstamp instead
ah yes, very reddity

oldfag

it's merely a taster

ah yes, let's turn Cred Forums into reddit

Does Cred Forums x remove it or something? I haven't noticed anything different

hopefully it'll be better than reddit. up and downvotes would be a great start, but ideally I'd rather be able to "react" to posts like on fb or buzzfeed.

*5 users howled at this post*

Why don't they fuck off to Reddit if they want an online identity?

same

She wants to fuck

Upvote these titties, pls.

I left my 5 blade razor in the bathroom

Dad is in there now, the bastard better not use it

Also, 146lbs today

1 (You) = 1 upvote
1 Fedora = 1 downvote

imagine unironically having brown eyes

>3.93 MB

shall not be wasting east german bandwidth on this

.n-pu{
display:none;}

why isn't there an emotional IQ test?

Sucks

I have brown skin too

how did hiro run this place into the ground in the space of a year when moot ran it smoothly for over 10?

my sister got brown eyes haha

i got blue :)

neat, why the germany flag though?

hahaha one time i was fucked on coke and speed and talked to this black dude for ages about how i thought the holocaust was a scam

i don't even believe that hahaha what was i think !!

dude was so unimpressed

>how did hiro run this place into the ground in the space of a year when moot ran it smoothly for over 10?

try one of those sociopath tests

your sister's got a lovely brown eye tbf

didn't want to pick my actual location that would be too easy

kek

I have blue eyes :)

Mum bought be a jacket online

She does a lot of online shopping but only for her kids, not herself

Tell her I don't want the jacket, she drops it in my room later in the day anyway
Give it back to her 3 weeks later

Now she's trying to return it

kek

please be in zurich

off to my interview

.. why would you fedora-post that?

Don't reply to it.

Because he's literally a mentally ill paki abused by his father and thinks he's a woman

figuratively me

he would look better if he wore clothes that fit

think I'm becoming asexual

spunking in fanny doesn't really excite me any more

all my lectures were cancelled today
had a lully lie in lads

have you tried spunking in boifanny?

the thought of a man's arse near my cock repulses me tbqh

Browsing /brit/ at Uni library desu

Am I the cancer?

>windows block most UV rays

All this fucking time I've been wearing sunscreen for nothing

well you know what they say

you never know until you try it

fuck off normies

nah you know what they really say

AIDS are God's punishment for degeneracy.

are you on the beanbags?

Since taking Biotin and DNP my urine has become very dark, the toilet bowl is black by the time I finish in the morning

kidney failure

legitimately a sign of kidney failure

you're literally on the verge of death

Pics

nah, the other meds I'm taking only screw with my liver

phone posting?

the gf

fuck, are you sure?

Could it be something else?

Like I said, I am taking DNP

was just thinking how many girls out there have done porn on the sly

i know heaps of strippers former and current sooo idk

kek

No, literally on the Computer in full view

I figured most people don't know what this place is, but I'm not sure how true that is anymore

Just googled it, black urine is common when on DNP

>I figured most people don't know what this place is
Mate, those days are long gone.

...

can't wait for the october edition of /brit/ Monthly to drop through my letterbox

not cancerous at all

might play the sims

or the runt farm simulator as I've taken to calling it

no i actually have no idea

doesn't sound good though haha

> tfw you don't have 2+ years experience as a fucktard

would f her p tho

Should I close the tab

I'm wondering how I ever did this before

What kind of retard pisses black urine and doesn't see a doctor immediately?

hmm could do with a gf

might post in /brit/

or the runt farm as I've taken to calling it

I googled it

It's just a regular sideeffect from DNP

At least now I know it's legit stuff

The internet gf says she wants to take things slow. What the fuck does that mean?

another pengting messages me first on tinder
really can't be fucked at this point though

she wants to spend more time with her real boyfriend and less time with her internet "boyfriend"

"she" needs more time to scam you

>Martin Shkreli is an American entrepreneur and pharmaceutical executive. He is co-founder of the hedge fund MSMB Capital Management, co-founder and former chief executive officer (CEO) of the biotechnology firm Retrophin, and founder and former CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals. In September 2015, Shkreli received widespread criticism when Turing obtained the manufacturing license for the antiparasitic drug Daraprim and raised its price by 5,556 percent (from US$13.5 to US$750 per tablet), leading him to be referred to by media as the "most hated man in America".
Thoughts?

i'm bored whatd do

gonna write a horror book lads. it will be called My Life So Far

he will ruin it

>kidney failure is a common side effect of voluntarily ingesting weedkiller
no shit

not a fan

stock up on passes while they're cheap

no

DNP is also used as a dye, so what's happening is that it's just colouring my urine

the internet gf wants to take things to the next level

i'm telling her my last name

>there are space-faring civilizations out there doing things that baffle our scientists
>humans still can't rid of cumskins

we're never going to make it

Not a nice post

Reminder that "white" "people" evolved from pigs

Guess what American city I'm in

rate the new 'do lads

Boston

let him take Cred Forums as it seems to be his only interest

Ironic isn't it?

The creature the white man reveres above all others, the pig, they also accept that it's the filthiest, greediest and most vile of all of the almightys creations

So then why? Why do they worship this beast?
I'll tell you, it's because the white man knows, the white man knows the pig embodies all of his qualities and that must mean they are one in the same.
Did pigs evolve into men?
or do men evolve into pigs?
That I cannot know

what time is the day of the rope starting lads? I forgot to check

creating myself and the ex-gf on the sims for academic purposes

Cancelled

The "white" "man" is marked for extinction soon

>where do I live?
>on the edge

strawpoll.me/11354766
strawpoll.me/11354766
strawpoll.me/11354766
http colon forward slash forward slash straw poll dot me forward slash one one three five four seven six six

he'll try to monetise it probably

Whites = Pigs

ah, brilliant addition to my fedora folder

>Did pigs evolve into men?
>or do men evolve into pigs?
>That I cannot know

finally things are terrible enough to warrant leaving this shitty fucking website

*flock of 25 school kids with yellow teeth line up each asking for a popcorn chicken snackbox*

what am I supposed to with all this rope I bought

Did she break up with you?

Denver

dont wanna talk about it

I've been there

> flock of 25 school kids with yellow

so just the average brit then?

>59 billion - The Earth and Moon are very likely destroyed by falling into the Sun

Will you kill yourself when Cred Forums gets shut down?

>kim runtdashian is the top news story in the country

pineal gland status: DOA

>failed 3 driving tests because of roundabouts
>literally no problems anywhere else other than on roundabouts

>brings up topic
>someone tries to continue the conversation
>"dont wanna talk about it"

love these fb status updates

FOY

>59 billion - Number of innocent jews who died in the holocaust. never forget

uhh racist much???
it was 59 gorillian

come to milton keynes and conquer your fears

Some claim the white man didn't evolve from the pig but that the great creator simply gave the white man, pink skin, the same colour as that of the pig, to mark him, so that all his other creatures would now to be wary of this abomination

>Teen launches petition to get Boy Scouts to open up to girls

hm yes

Why can't girl scouts open up to boys?

I live in....Rotherham and the town is full of 4 exit roundabouts and they're always rammed with traffic and pakis.

bloody misogynist

neither of the gyaldem messaging me

>Why can't girl scouts open up to boys?

fuck off paki

there were girls in the scouts when I went like 10 years ago top wew

The gfs ex liked her pic on instagram

Hmmmm

isn't venture scouts the combination of both anyway?

hmm yes 5 day old johnny foreigner news

thanks for posting

slap her about a bit

No idea

I'll heem that gormless sack of shite

having a wnak

tbf I think I'd be happier dead

wank*

>watching new Vsauce video

he keeps talking about obscure maths theories and I've no idea what he's banging on about haha

it's boy scouts not scouts

good, go fucking die you fucking cunt

Today Tories will officially abandon austerity.

Watch how the media which labelled abandoning austerity ludicrous when Corbyn advocated it declare Hammond a genius.

>Ten times Trump shamed others on tax

ah yes the so called "BBC"

we never had austerity

not true austerity?

not gonna lie i think i'd be happier if my sister were dead

how old is your sister

what/10 is she

she's 19 and 0/10

wondering whether or not to grow a beard, i usually look like shit for 3 weeks if i do.

ah

is she actually that uggo

post pics

yeah, she has brown eyes

I'm back lads. what'd I miss then?

you the lad who went to the methadone clinic?

>arrange a meeting
>don't turn up
ffs

why the fuck is he a hate symbol?
I don't keep up with that shit

Stop posting white supremacy images thanks mate

because i said so cunt

ones like this were triggering idiots and they started calling them XYZist lol

a racist frog?

fuck up wanker

FOY

FOK (Fuck Off Kangaroo)

FOY

FOY

I'm not a yank hun x :)

>ones like this were triggering idiots and they started calling them XYZist lol

*glasses you*

talk shit get hit

FOY

FOY

14/88 lads

Had about 5 lucid dreams last night, woke up with my head absolutely fucked

NEED to tell someone what happened

think i might have haemorrhoids lads

Ive had this tiny patch of what I think is thick white skin on my dick for like a year. Every now and again i cut some off with a knife just for fun. Should I stop picking at it and should I see a doctor? I cant find anything on the internet about it and its causing me no problems.

> FOY

100% guarantee they listen to yung lean and lil peep

*does an interview on This Morning about my time on /brit/*

yeah, I miss anything good?

don't mind a bit of the ol' peep

*takes drag of ciggie*
nah m8
*coughs*

And why don't you like Americans?

If a blood clot forms inside an external hemorrhoid, the pain can be sudden and severe. You might feel or see a lump around the anus. The clot usually dissolves, leaving excess skin (a skin tag), which may itch or become irritated. Internal hemorrhoids are typically painless, even when they produce bleeding.

ahh yes, so tell us about this "tim byrne" and his accomplice, kev boyle

yeah u missed everything good

*doing international promotion for my new bestseller "The /Brit/ Years; 2014 - 2018*

Same desu, but I can spot these hip hop goths from a mile away

>bucket hat
>black nails
Instant give away

unironically used to have a ricardo lopez-tier obsession with her to the point that i planned to kill her and myself but then i started taking drugs and i no longer gave a shit

What is it with Russians and black girls?

color
humor
breathalyze
traveling
maneuver
catalog

*lightly smacks your chest*
don't hurt yourself now m8.
*chuckles to myself*

Really want to die lads

>unironically used to have a ricardo lopez-tier obsession with her to the point that i planned to kill her and myself but then i started taking drugs and i no longer gave a shit

Catalog?

mate

merriam-webster.com/dictionary/catalog

*goes on ABC radio to promote my new book "cold out: a look on the /brit/ side of life"*

ahh yes, thanks for having me today

fookin 'ell, I knew it was too good to be true. this always happens to me.

more like "The /Shit/ Years; 2014 - TBD"

So Hammond has now stolen Corbyn's policy on borrowing in order to get the economy out of trouble. Where is the outrage about that?

...

mmm?

it's official, i've eaten a 4-line kitkat

>passed my assignment by 2 marks

Can they kick you out for barely scraping by?

>Chancellor Philip Hammond has said he is ready to borrow money to support the British economy as he warned it is heading for a “rollercoaster” during Brexit negotiations.

hahahaha

i mean it's probably the best thing to do but it really is funny after six years of trying (and failing) to balance the budget

Nothing?

always wondered what British ufc fans think of Michael bisping. you lads feel like he repped your country well?

nah lad P's get degrees weeeeey

Why don't you like Americans

Still feeling fucked up from those lucid dreams, fuck me, what a ride. Don't think i'll feel notmal again, reality is fucked.

No one cares for that gay shit here.

literally who

welcome among the decalcified lad

>hahahaha what an unelectable twat, Murdoch dear make sure you keep pumping out those opinion pieces about how labour is finished
>bloody hell jezzas policies seem a tad popular *co-opts jezzas ideas*

Wish the Tory party was a proper one nation Conservative party and labour was hard line socialist/unionist with Lib dems bridging the gap

gf just sent me this lads

*does a song and dance*

THIS IS THE GIRL

>my internet gf

business idea: get into politics and put forward literally every possible solution to every problem ever, then when people start doing them you can claim they copied you

>gay shit
>could literally kill your fat neckbeard ass with one hand tied behind his back

right

British ufc fighter

UFC is a cringe sport mate

Didn't get any sleep last night or the night before. Took MDMA sat and the old serotonin must be completely depleted. Gladly though, I got some sleep this morning.

also this guy ran LoL into the ground

oh what's the black gents name? going to the uk with the wife soon so well need to find a bull over there.

It's still gay shit, Tyrone.

german companies have been really shitty all year lads

>prostitute I'm seeing adds another lad on facebook
>feel jealous
someone explain this one to me

*does a dance*

waddy do?

does seeing guys that aren't obese neets and could also kick your ass without even trying trigger you? oh wait your a leaf, that answers that.

get a divorce lad

>prostitute I'm seeing
stopped reading right there, runt

lol cute :3

sorry for triggering you muhammed.

cringe post mate

>Still feeling fucked up from those lucid dreams, fuck me, what a ride. Don't think i'll feel notmal again, reality is fucked.

she's not my gf but I'm not going to turn down free sex lad

So the Tories have ripped up their manifesto and our PM doesn't have a mandate.

General election needed.

>does seeing guys that aren't obese neets and could also kick your ass without even trying trigger you? oh wait your a leaf, that answers that.

everybody hurts......sometimes

...

>trying to argue it's not gay by banging on about the bloke you obviously fancy
alright bender

>unironically using the word cringe

yikes

>unironically using the word yikes
Alri Shaggy, how's Scoob?

gosh darn dingle darn it seppo
you've got me good

Why does this fat nigger Tyrone think he is "triggering" people because they're mocking him over his obsession with gay shit UFC?

Tfw no job, no gf, overweight, 26 and living with parents and losing motivation to go on.