Stupidest shit youve done while horny

Owen Wilson
Owen Wilson

Stupidest shit youve done while horny

All urls found in this thread:

credforums.com/thread/704495765/miscellaneous
youtube.com/watch?v=6UFzde_Y_t0

Jordan Barnes
Jordan Barnes

Borrowed my mums dildo. Orgasmed, left it on my bed and forgot about it then went about my day. Dinner was weird that night.

Angel Jackson
Angel Jackson

Came on a lollipop, put the wrapper on, and gave it to my friends mom. She loves cherry :P

Lincoln Lee
Lincoln Lee

God tier idea

Luis Hall
Luis Hall

Stuck it in a shop vac

Christopher Davis
Christopher Davis

Stuck my dick in a milk jug. It hurt.

Jacob Stewart
Jacob Stewart

Responded to Craigslist ads for threesomes

Samuel Nelson
Samuel Nelson

Texted my exes lol

Chase Baker
Chase Baker

Somehow gave myself a UTI by doing butt stuff. That was last night.

Oliver Foster
Oliver Foster

I keep asking my best friend for nudes. Or rather panty shots.

Jeremiah Harris
Jeremiah Harris

Masturbated for people online and I didn't even get paid for it.

James Thompson
James Thompson

Hey bby, wanna show that cunt ;)

Anthony Allen
Anthony Allen

bought credits on livejasmin

i was drunk as well so please forgive me

Blake Martin
Blake Martin

Started to jerk off through my pocket in class.

I was in the back, and could see anyone who could see me. I didn't finish, because I knew they'd smell it.

Bentley Wilson
Bentley Wilson

Cuck

Jeremiah Foster
Jeremiah Foster

Let some fag suck my dick.

Cooper Sanchez
Cooper Sanchez

They smelt the precum and knew, everyone knows you as the weird kid that jacks off in the back of the class.

Thomas Clark
Thomas Clark

Walked out into the middle of the woods with wet wipes after taking a big poop and fingered my ass with them to stimulate my ass muscles and make it feel like I was still continuously shitting. Then when I was exhausted I jerked off to porn on my phone and came. Then walked back home.

Joshua Gonzalez
Joshua Gonzalez

Was stupid drunk and was fooling around with a friend that was a lesbian while at a different friend's apartment. We had a little sexual tension for a few years so we dealt with it. Wasn't working out because whiskey dick and she was insanely tight and I was probably too drunk to figure it out. She gets dressed and I step outside to get some air. I start watching porn on my phone and start beating off. Never occurred to me that it might be a bad idea to masturbate on the balcony of a second story apartment building. For context, the balcony was a shared one for each apartment on the second floor and the front doors of all apartment units were on this balcony. It's a miracle that I'm not on the sex offender list.

Levi Sanchez
Levi Sanchez

met up with a CD on cragislist and sucked a dick for the first time. his/her dick was so fucking weird and bent that i had a pretty unpleasant time. 3/10 would not do again unless i was very horny again

Jaxon King
Jaxon King

what's wrong with you?

Brandon Watson
Brandon Watson

I use to get them from her =/

Gabriel Barnes
Gabriel Barnes

Let's see..

Lincoln Mitchell
Lincoln Mitchell

Put a bat up my ass

also this
this
and the first part of this

Luis Johnson
Luis Johnson

Consume many psychoactives that are near me after cumming. I simply can't stop, it's like I loose control temporarily.

Jaxson Lee
Jaxson Lee

Zach is that you? Maya said you tried some gay shit and didnt like it

Jackson Davis
Jackson Davis

4 Words: Put Dick In Crazy

Brody Evans
Brody Evans

preach

Sebastian Hernandez
Sebastian Hernandez

wore my vibrating butt plug in and went to the grocery store
it fell out in the parking lot
i just turned around and drove home
butt plug just on the ground in the parking lot

William Perry
William Perry

nah lmao not zach. i also would never tell anyone about that shit

Caleb Garcia
Caleb Garcia

I wasn't even drunk. Same outcome.

David Murphy
David Murphy

Pic related

Owen Young
Owen Young

what's wrong with you?

Hunter Reyes
Hunter Reyes

Fist in ass.

Joseph Jones
Joseph Jones

I had heterosexual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

Daniel Wright
Daniel Wright

Sigh, I wouldn't know where to start...

Daniel Moore
Daniel Moore

very original, user, I congratulate you

Mason Clark
Mason Clark

Cum doesn't have a smell , faggot. You must be pretty fucking disgusting if your cum smells

Easton Bell
Easton Bell

I'm a closet sissy. Got horny enough to post a craigslist ad and followed through on it. Drove to a guy's house, i got dressed up, we kissed, he felt me up, i sucked his dick for a little, he licked and fingered my ass, sucked my dick a little, fucked me pretty hard. Didn't realize til after I got home that my ass bled. Didn't make him wear a condom even though I planned to 'cause I got caught up in the moment. Ask me anything about it if you're as bored as I am.

inb4 greentext it, too much work
inb4 can't inb4

Juan Evans
Juan Evans

Had sex with a chair and came all over the underside of it, frame had metal rings that my dick just fit into.

Grayson Stewart
Grayson Stewart

Could be female.

Nicholas Robinson
Nicholas Robinson

shared picture from my gf on shouldn share thread , god idea... but my laptop was still running on the thread, she took it to see what Bank for, bad idea,,, sorry for bad english german-user here

Dominic Johnson
Dominic Johnson

cum does smell

Jackson Hughes
Jackson Hughes

Depend on how bad you eat, it can smell really pungnant. Not same user

Elijah Morales
Elijah Morales

You get tested for the high five after?

Adrian Price
Adrian Price

Masturbated with shit, not as fun as it seemed in my head

Jordan Wilson
Jordan Wilson

if it was a girl, the smell would be x10 stronger

Gavin Robinson
Gavin Robinson

Had sexual relations with a female.

Anthony Lopez
Anthony Lopez

He said he jerked. Females don't jerk themselves m8

Adrian Thomas
Adrian Thomas

fell out
How loose is your asshole?

Nathan Walker
Nathan Walker

I was hard up. Hadn't had any in a while and my hand was getting boring.

text my ex Christina
Her name in my phone is "Chrissy"
"God im horny as fuck. get over here now"
reply back "Are you serious?"
"Fuck yes. get over here"
"ok."
waiting around
knock at door
go get door
My friend Chris is standing there
"Huh?"
"Oh god. You're drunk. I'm so sorry"
look at my phone
I'd texted my gay friend Chris
"Oh shit man, I meant to text Christina."
"haha... I thought it was too good to be true."
awkward fucking silence
the silence was painful almost
almost as painful as my blue balls
"Fuck it. you still game?"
shoves me back through the door and shutting it as he follows me in
proceed to get the best head I've ever gotten

Noah Edwards
Noah Edwards

Is this thread just all kinky femanons or what?

Aaron Reyes
Aaron Reyes

Yeah if you're a fucking repugnant fatty that eats like a slob 24/7

Henry Kelly
Henry Kelly

Masturbated in a public library as a mormon missionary. Pretty obviously, no one said anything. Then personally baptized a convert, went back after the mission time, and fucked her in a hotel. She cried with guilt, I went back home.

Gabriel Hughes
Gabriel Hughes

they jerk their clit

and many women use the expression

Landon Young
Landon Young

Stuck my dick in apple sauce, felt cool but ended up wasting a good apple sauce.

Nathan Robinson
Nathan Robinson

You wish, user. I bet every male you meet throughout your entire life will have had one "fuck why did i do that" while they were horny moment

Jace Evans
Jace Evans

Okay b8

Blake Brown
Blake Brown

Back in highschool some fine honeys were flirting with me in class so i 'went to the toilet' and beat my meat and came back. Unfortunately i think this is actually more of a regular thing for some people...

Cameron Foster
Cameron Foster

it was a "my first butt plug"

basically it was really narrow and i lubed up good

Jose Hernandez
Jose Hernandez

yep

this thread shows how many homos and femmes there actually are here.

Carter Lopez
Carter Lopez

Hey i need someone to help me with a medical question on this thread. I shot my friend point blank in the face with a pellet gun. credforums.com/thread/704495765/miscellaneous

Ethan James
Ethan James

Made my gf in that time suck my dick and swallow my cum. Her stepdad was in te other room really close. He was 16 I was 21, If he would caught us I would be dead lol.

Carter Butler
Carter Butler

Raped a drunk girl

Juan Russell
Juan Russell

This and try to get girls off omegle. Very regrettable honestly

Blake Johnson
Blake Johnson

Closet sissy from here.

my first experimentation with anal play was this miniature bat that sat in the hands of a small baseball player statue. i'm talking this thing was smaller in diameter than a pencil, and maybe 4" long, tops. Little did I know where it would take me.

you fucking monster

nope, haven't been tested. probably should at some point. he said he was clean, was a perfect gentleman, and seemed super honest. Also has a wife. I don't think the risk was very high.

Brayden White
Brayden White

Bro job.... nice

Easton Howard
Easton Howard

it's really common for a buttplug to work it's way out while you walk, unless it's a huge freaking monster!

Matthew Flores
Matthew Flores

I would've eaten it

Joshua Bailey
Joshua Bailey

fell out
turned 360 degrees and drove home

Evan Peterson
Evan Peterson

Post em, user!

Grayson Rivera
Grayson Rivera

Fucked a girl i didn't find attractive just because i really wanted sex and she had a pussy

Isaiah Lewis
Isaiah Lewis

holy quads. also, that's why i always wear tight panties when i plug. keeps everything in

Matthew Morris
Matthew Morris

Tried to get away with masturbating on the bus. Was caught. Shame.

Logan Ward
Logan Ward

Kinda dumb leaving a twenty-one year old with his daughter in her bedroom

Xavier Clark
Xavier Clark

Never. I won't break her trust.

Joseph Adams
Joseph Adams

inb4 white knight. you don't have to sound like such a fag about it, but i get you, user

Asher Gomez
Asher Gomez

E-mailed a dick zucker on Craigslist.

Dominic Morgan
Dominic Morgan

Recently I shoved a tongue brush up my ass while fapping. It wasn't doing enough for me, so I took it out and shoved a screwdriver up my ass. Then it started to hurt so I took it out and finished fapping. I regretted it the next day.

Also, Iv been sick for the past week, so Iv had nothing to do but fap and my dick is raw. I have to put neosporin on it every time I start up to numb it a little...

Ryan Gray
Ryan Gray

Sammme. It was kind of nice but never again

Juan Price
Juan Price

Did that for a year. Sex was amazing though....

She's married now

Christian Murphy
Christian Murphy

Several years ago my phone broke so i used my moms laptop to watch porn. Super horny so i didn't catch it when i blew. There was cum all over the keyboard and several of the keys stopped working. I was home alone and heard my mom pull in the driveway like two minutes later while I was feverishly cleaning the keys. I dont think she ever smelled it. Yes, my cum smells.

David Cox
David Cox

Same.
Got a vid if you guys want it.

Owen Johnson
Owen Johnson

That's not my paintbrush and this is NOT the Sistine Chapel....

Camden Long
Camden Long

even with tight panties mine wiggles out, but it's only 3 inches. I need to size up

John Jones
John Jones

Stayed out til 9am on a New Year's Eve doing coke whilst drunk as fuck round someone's house I didn't know. With my GF of the time's brother.
GF calls me at 9am as she was getting up for work. Tell her I'm with her bro, she says as I'm nearer their house I cna just go sleep in bed and she'll wake me when she gets home later at 5pm if I'm still awake, with a BJ. Score.

Fast forward to 5pm and my GF comes home expecting her nice snuggly BF to be in bed all ready for action.
She instead finds me spawled out naked, her dildoes all over the bed and one still jammed in my ass where I'd decided apparently that I was into butt stuff now and had run the batteries down.
Asshole hurt for a week. GF didn't seem to mind expect for the batteries and even tried using one on me later on.

Ayden Powell
Ayden Powell

ok here goes

wife an i have great and varied sex life
i enjoy watching her play with vibes and dildos
also enjoy using said toys on her

but

been together nearly 20 years
shit getting stale
decide to buy her fucking machine
Ultimate Dildo Thrusting Machine
does exactly as it says on box
has remote controlled variable speed
8 settings
from 1 thrust per second up to 8 per second (480 per minute)
wife is happy
i'm happy

one day wife goes out with kids and dogs
homealone.jpg
decide to try adding anal probe to UDTM
i position the machine between to low stools
sit with one ass cheek per stool
slide probe up asshole
turn machine on
speed on feels great
try speed 2
feels much better
try speed 3 then 4
holy shit no wonder she loves this toy
body starts to shudder
this is fuckin intense
speed 5
HOOOOOLLLLLYYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
i have never felt anything like this in my entire life
speed 6
i lose complete control
UDTM is in and out of my spasming anus at 360RPM

cont

Jaxon Green
Jaxon Green

Tried using shaving cream as lube

Jace Parker
Jace Parker

I've never used one so I wouldn't know.

Jaxson Ross
Jaxson Ross

Bud, cum has a distinct chlorine-esque smell. Nothing to do with hygiene. Take a whiff next time you wank.

James Foster
James Foster

cont

feel humungous orgasm coming
relax to enjoy the full sensation
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
sphincter relaxes
colon empties itself
i try to stand up
my legs are like jelly
shit is spurting out of my asshole
the smell is horrific
like something crawled up my ass and died
machine is still whapping away at 360RPM
shit storm all over the fuckin bedroom
can't find the fuckin remote
grab the power lead and pull till it unplugs
standing alone in bedroom
UDTM has semi fluid shit all over and running down it
i'm covered in shit from the knees down
shit on walls, on bed, on carpet and even on ceiling

spend the next 4 hours cleaning EVERYFUCKING inch of bedroom, shampooing carper, repainting walls and touching up the shit stained paint on the ceiling

even did a bolt by bolt strip down,clean and rebuild of UTDM
NEVER AGAIN

Jayden Rivera
Jayden Rivera

Mormons always appear >8/10s in my experience. How do you guys stave off the deformities from incest

Julian Watson
Julian Watson

lmfao 10/10 would read again

Nathan Gray
Nathan Gray

GF and I were at a party, we were left alone in a room in the house. I made her blow me, but instead of having her swallow, I gave her a facial.
There was no bathroom in that room. And there were little kids at the party

Dominic Martin
Dominic Martin

mine's a standard 4-incher (or whatever "medium" usually is), and it stays in pretty well. I need to size up, too, though. Thinking about getting a metal one. I need something that i can really feel the presence of

Camden Murphy
Camden Murphy

what are plugs actually for? what sensation does it give?

Colton Rogers
Colton Rogers

Be me
Be 12
First time masturbating
Get idea for boner
use hand soap
Feeling sudden burning pain
OHSHIT.jpeg
panic and look for solution
find ice and heat muscle cream
apply cream on dicl
Sudden cold penis
new idea
Wash dick with water
Feel numb
Go to bed disappointed
Don't use soap on penises

Caleb Peterson
Caleb Peterson

you know that feeling right before you are about to cum? that "building up" feeling? a vibrating plug makes it feel like that in your asshole constanty

Easton Anderson
Easton Anderson

Let my dog lick my pussy when I was like 13

Alexander King
Alexander King

One time I stuck my dick in a live chicken and then cut its head off just to get off.

Owen Brown
Owen Brown

pic related, the UDTM

Brandon Cook
Brandon Cook

be me
gotta take a shower
planning giving meself a nice facial afterwards when I go to bed
dog sitting there
what you doing looking at me like that you horny bastard
fuck fine come're you dirty slut
a few licks and he's not interested
oh that's it? fine
i feel like shit for letting dog lick me

Parker White
Parker White

does it work for guys?

Colton Morales
Colton Morales

I use mine as foreplay/stretching for bigger toys. If they're the right shape and size, they can stimulate prostate, but mostly it's just the sensation of having a thing in your ass lol. I also like going out in public, the feeling of knowing i'm doing something naughty, the feeling of knowing that someone might catch on (even though that's extremely unlikely in reality)

Brayden Gonzalez
Brayden Gonzalez

Biggest fear if I ever dabbled in pegging. I just stick to butt plugs

Jordan Powell
Jordan Powell

One evening when it was really late I was walking around in the near by park. Barely anyone came to this park even during the day.

I saw this swan sleeping on the grassy area, no where near the lake. If you have ever seen a swan or a goose their bodies are very attractive (but swans faces are kind of ugly). I was looking at it's neck and wondering about the swans esophagus.

To make a long story short, I cut it's neck, almost cut it's head completely off but not quite. It died as I fucked it's esophagus. It's wings were flapping a lot which really turned me on because a swan has beautiful wings. I would squeeze on it's wings as they flapped, those wings were truly the best part. As it tried to breath the esophagus would tighten against my dick all while the blood was pumping out all over my dick and balls. The red blood was so good looking against the white feathers so I'm glad I decided to do it with a swan and not a goose (even though geese are more attractive in the face). I was completely naked for this and afterwards I washed off in the lake.

It's pretty much the most violently sexual thing I've ever done. I've NEVER been attracted to any other animal besides birds and that's only because of the shape of their wings. I find wings to be irresistibly arousing. It was so violent and exciting. Afterwards I felt so relived, like I had spent the day at a spa. All my muscles were relaxed and I was very chill.

Ryan Morgan
Ryan Morgan

ya, thats where the male g-spot is for it feels a lot better than when girls do it

Charles Howard
Charles Howard

Underage b8 detected

Jace Ortiz
Jace Ortiz

that means she was into you but you were too much of a pussy to do anything about it and now she realizes youre a beta male

she probably laughs about how pathetic you are to whichever guy shes fucking at the time

Oliver Nelson
Oliver Nelson

Girls do not really feel much from anal which is why none of them like it much. They basically just feel like constant reverse pooping.

Tyler Miller
Tyler Miller

I have it my head to get a glass one. It'd be heavy, but I sooooo smooth.

It gives me a satisfying filled up feeling. I love to squeeze my muscles and feel it in there. It's a bit of a turn on too, but mostly it's the filled up feeling for me.

Zachary Gray
Zachary Gray

Used shit as lube.
Licked toilet bowl.
Drank toilet water.
I don't know why the bathroom is such a kinky place for me.

Grayson Stewart
Grayson Stewart

just clean out your insides before doing it. At least take a healthy shit and then eat light beforehand. Myself, I won't even consider anal unless the water i clean myself out with is practically clear coming out.

glass would be a good idea, too.

Ian Gonzalez
Ian Gonzalez

Not hit enough as a child

Christian Garcia
Christian Garcia

literally satan

Hudson Rivera
Hudson Rivera

nice trips swan fucker

Joseph Martin
Joseph Martin

checked and kek'd

Kevin Morgan
Kevin Morgan

But it was such a beautiful creature...

Adam Jenkins
Adam Jenkins

Fitting post for satanic trips

Nathan Perez
Nathan Perez

Mormons have lots of kids. We kill the physically deformed ones and no one is the wiser

Owen Jones
Owen Jones

Yup. Made that mistake myself

Dylan Collins
Dylan Collins

Jacked off into soup when i hosted a dinner party with friends. Watched them all eat my cum with a bright smile, my girlfriend at the time's best friend asked for seconds, i couldn't help but smile

Ian Parker
Ian Parker

gg

Andrew Williams
Andrew Williams

Your post number is literarily 666

Wyatt Harris
Wyatt Harris

When I first started fapping I thought slamming my dick into the shower wall would feel good. It bent my dick and hurt very badly

Dominic Cox
Dominic Cox

What happened

Wyatt Anderson
Wyatt Anderson

In my case I love it for the filled up feeling. It's so yummyyy

Jackson King
Jackson King

I've jerked off to a 15 year old girl on omegle. Instant regret

Charles Wood
Charles Wood

zapped myself with a 9 volt right when i was cummin but my orgasm wasnt better...

Alexander Rivera
Alexander Rivera

I kind of have the same thing for birds but it's more about how they lay eggs and are small/soft

Grayson Green
Grayson Green

be 14
1999
masturbators not redily available
try and spice shit up for my 6th jerk of the day.
go into bathroom and look through medicine cabinet.
decide on using Aim brand toothpaste gel
get hard and squeeze a generous amount in my hand
hmm well that's a bit minty. neat
ohgodno.jpg
the light tingle becomes a burn.
my dick is covered in a sticky substance that burns it
turn on shower
jump in and try and wash it off.
only make it worse.
take dry washcloth and rough scrape it all off my dick
dad starts yelling for me to get out of the bathroom
unlock door and hop in shower
wtf are you doing in here user and why the fuck does it smell like toothpaste?

Robert Carter
Robert Carter

wat

Jose Rogers
Jose Rogers

You disgust me.

I stuck my soft dick through a toilet paper roll and got hard. Big mistake, couldn't get it out. Hurt like hell. Had to carefully cut away the roll. Didn't jerk it for 2 whole days after.

Ethan Price
Ethan Price

Cred Forums

Jackson Morales
Jackson Morales

Neat!

Jose Morris
Jose Morris

many women
I don't believe you've ever even brushed up against an actual woman

Connor Rogers
Connor Rogers

Lel there was a kid in my 9th grade latin class that would rub himself through his shorts during class. He would make these weird grunts and shit. Odd kid but we were pretty good friends

Austin Jones
Austin Jones

I know your feel. This is a mistake you only make once.

Grayson Young
Grayson Young

Same except I was like 9

Jackson Butler
Jackson Butler

femanon?

John Rivera
John Rivera

It smells exactly like warm brie cheese

Chase Cruz
Chase Cruz

Fucking Bill Clinton.

Gavin Robinson
Gavin Robinson

even though geese are more attractive in the face. Mfw

Levi Nelson
Levi Nelson

no way is that true. a swan would break your arm if you tried that stuff

Jackson Turner
Jackson Turner

Yes

Samuel Ortiz
Samuel Ortiz

how many times did you let your dick lick your pussy?
and how old are u now?

Jack Baker
Jack Baker

Be me
have fleshlight
spin fleshlight around on dick
feelsgoodman
want to spin it faster
get blender
take out blades
glue fleshlight to rotor
put dick inside
disgonnabegood
start blender
dick gets tied in a know
hurts like fuck
post pictures of blended dick on Cred Forums
"we're going to have to amputate"
get prosthetic penis
get giant prosthetic dick
post on Cred Forums in trap threads occasionally

Evan Rodriguez
Evan Rodriguez

As opposed to male cunts?

Anthony Mitchell
Anthony Mitchell

uh huh
u fucked a swan that was freaking out like a chix with its head cut off
pics or it didn'thappen

Josiah Perez
Josiah Perez

Go home kid and put the parents liquor bottles back

James Davis
James Davis

regret
lol

Joseph Murphy
Joseph Murphy

youtube.com/watch?v=6UFzde_Y_t0

Caleb White
Caleb White

It was great while I was doing it but felt like a pedo afterwards

Isaiah Russell
Isaiah Russell

Met up with a CD at my place. Got really high and fucked for hours. Came in his ass 3 times. Was terrified of an std for months but everything worked out fine.

Robert Harris
Robert Harris

Jesus Christ m8...

Show dick...for science?

Michael Ward
Michael Ward

Like 10 times total. I got better at using my hands a couple years later so that wasn't a long term thing. I'm not into dog stuff as an adult. I'm 29 now.

Brandon Carter
Brandon Carter

nice

Jason Allen
Jason Allen

kek

Kevin Price
Kevin Price

cis scum detected

who cares?

Hudson Wood
Hudson Wood

check dem trips

Ryder Sullivan
Ryder Sullivan

the party van

Levi Morgan
Levi Morgan

Thank you

Brayden Richardson
Brayden Richardson

Masterbated by jacking off my dick. While on the clock at work.

Daniel Baker
Daniel Baker

that's no reason to feel guilty. paranoid, maybe, not guilty.

Julian Myers
Julian Myers

Masterbated by jacking off my dick

Lucas Hernandez
Lucas Hernandez

Be alone for a week
Do nothing but jacking off and procrastinating in my sweat pants
Suddenly have the bright idea to shove something up my ass
The only thing that resembles a dildo in my home was a iron bar for my wights
Eh, what the hell.
Put off all the weights on one side and put some on the other so to make it stand
Put a rubber glove over the screw and rub some Vaseline on it
Surround my metal shaft with towels for what might come
Start to jack off
As i do i slowly sit on the screw bar
It hurts like hell but i guess this is how it's done
Continue lowering myself on the bar
Jacking get's harder as my cock deflates under the pain
Say enough is enough and pull the metal bar out of my ass
literally have to screw it out my ass in order to get the thing out
Expect blood as the bar painfully pops out
The rod falls out and the glove is only partially covered in shit
Take a long shower followed by a hot bath

I cleaned up after myself and after that i cleaned up the entire apartment.
I tried it again a month after but it was just as painful, and i had to poop out the glove.

Daniel Martin
Daniel Martin

it's like a woman pretending to be a guy

Hudson Rogers
Hudson Rogers

this is moderately acceptable.

Nolan Russell
Nolan Russell

quads of queers, checked

Jason King
Jason King

Rounded edges m8. Toilet brush or something...

Ayden Walker
Ayden Walker

thinks females are here
fuck dude

Matthew James
Matthew James

Got head from my gf at the time on her parents couch while they were outside drinking with their friends.

her dad walked in halfway through
I had a blanket over her
her dad hugged me and said "thanks for treating my daughter so well."

Asher Richardson
Asher Richardson

Went to store naked assed. No underware, panties, pants etc. Eeeyyyaaahhhj sure thing there buddy.

Jose Carter
Jose Carter

young minds aren't the most reasonable user

Jordan Torres
Jordan Torres

I fapped (slang for masturbate)

Isaac Reed
Isaac Reed

i think it's bs too user, but they could have been wearing a skirt with no underwear

Ian Williams
Ian Williams

I did that too. Once i nut i felt so disgusting that i threw up. Thus ended my experimentation with scat. Thank the fucking lord

Caleb Murphy
Caleb Murphy

16 year old stepdad

moms a real cougar huh?

Jayden Thompson
Jayden Thompson

fucking satan

Nathan Gray
Nathan Gray

screencap this shit

David Bailey
David Bailey

Mhm, that never happened

Colton Howard
Colton Howard

everyone has done this.

Kayden Bailey
Kayden Bailey

did he make u cum?

Elijah Turner
Elijah Turner

That a thing?

Anthony Murphy
Anthony Murphy

tried to fuck my own ass and tore my anus a bit
used moms dildos in ass & mouth at the same time, also a2m
came on my fingers and then jammed them in my ass
tried to fuck my dog, am incredibly glad I couldn't fit
jerked off with my moms panties
jerked off into condom and was gonna eat it but couldnt get horny again
tried to enema with shower hose but all it did was give me horrible diarrhea

John Walker
John Walker

put my dick in a watermellon when i was like 14. it was too heavy to get any kind of pleasure of it.

Angel Nguyen
Angel Nguyen

ladies and gentlebros, i present to you

the antichrist

John Howard
John Howard

You horny devil.

David Flores
David Flores

Asked my mom's friend if she wanted to fuck. Asked her in front of my mom and other friends and family members.

James James
James James

The real question comes down to whether these posters have peni or vaginers

Luke Edwards
Luke Edwards

There should be an instruction manual to read this shit.

Julian Gomez
Julian Gomez

i enema with shower hose pretty regularly (inb4 bad for you, inb4 can't inb4), but for cleanliness before anal play rather than for pleasure. Of course you're gonna shit it all out at first. Just rinse and repeat until water is clear, and if you're trying to hold it in (like for pleasure or whatever), just practice.

sissy here, sorry to (probably) disappoint

Hudson Davis
Hudson Davis

Kek

Andrew Ross
Andrew Ross

i felt so relieved
I know that feel.

Jaxon Ross
Jaxon Ross

what part is confusing

Ryder Myers
Ryder Myers

Shoved a Q tip in my dickhole when i was 13
hurt like fuck
Didnt know what sounding was

Oliver Hall
Oliver Hall

Fucked a 1 5 year old... twice... it was easy, she loved it and she could take me in her ass. I wish I hadn't though , I'm a struggling actor and if I make it.. it'll always be in the back of my head she could out me.

Luke Jones
Luke Jones

That was you huh? I remember those posts.

James Ortiz
James Ortiz

"Whoa, a real life girl?!"

Matthew Green
Matthew Green

this is like every /fit/shit, ever

you fucking faggots

Evan Jenkins
Evan Jenkins

but for cleanliness before anal play rather than for pleasure
that's why I did it too wasn't liking the feeling at all, and did it a bunch of times but it never got any clearer. also I did hold it in because I heard that's what you're supposed to do from someone on here probably

Jack Price
Jack Price

what are you, new? read this with no problem

Carter Bell
Carter Bell

In case nobody knows cause you're a dumb idiot, this is copy pasta. Just google search "One evening when it was really late I was walking around in the near by park. Barely anyone came to this park even during the day. I saw this swan" and see for yourself.

I know what you'll all say, "fucking faggot, get off Cred Forums hurr durr" but, I like to be an asshole, and I can be the biggest asshole by pissing people like you off. So please, tell me about your rustled jimmies.

Hudson Brooks
Hudson Brooks

fucked a hotpocket out of the micro wave.
My second time trying washesven but I burnt my head the first time

William Parker
William Parker

put a air pump up my ass and pumped fuck load of air into my stomach
put a water balloon up my ass trying out various levels, pretty amazing pressure on prostate
once opened my sisters tampon and wore it, then vaccumed it up and she was told off
cummed into a greek yogurt tub in the fridge to get back at my family, however 2 days later they made carbonara for my sister me and brother. Yeahhhhh dunno if they knew or not but i ate 3 bites and gtfo

Kayden Cox
Kayden Cox

Had sex with a woman I did not love :'(

Blake Hernandez
Blake Hernandez

Put my dick in a hoover

Cameron Williams
Cameron Williams

I like the feeling these days, but probably because of the association with the later pleasure. Your first time doing it, doing it after not having done it for a while, or doing it when you're digesting food is always gonna be like that. Super frustrating to the point that enema becomes more of a chore than anything pleasurable. Some nights I honestly just call it quits and decide i'll try again a different day. Also, i don't think holding it in will aid in cleaning in anyway. I sort of hop around and wiggle to help dislodge (on the advice of someone on the internet once). Don't know if it does anything, but doesn't hurt.

Jaxson Smith
Jaxson Smith

greek yogurt
carbonara

wat

Andrew Morgan
Andrew Morgan

that aint healthy.
physically or psychologically

Colton Jackson
Colton Jackson

Let a guy jack off with my 13 year olds panties and look at creepshots of her in a bikini next to me while I jacked off.

Jaxson Adams
Jaxson Adams

pics of daughter

John Carter
John Carter

Smells like mushroom soup to me

Isaiah Cooper
Isaiah Cooper

When i was twelve of so I would lick a girls pussi, she was 7 or 8 at the time she used to pretend we were cats grooming, can still remember the smell of her fresh cunt. Now 19 and this girl passively accuses my younger bro of same age of raping her or some shit, no-one really believes it but bro is struggling to go to school out of embarrassment. scared one day shit will get out and too much of a fagot to tell anyone except you faggots.

Jonathan Scott
Jonathan Scott

That's not happening.

Hudson Green
Hudson Green

Kekd hard

Adam Miller
Adam Miller

Don't worry, you won't make it

Jayden Hall
Jayden Hall

i'm a psychologist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Charles Reed
Charles Reed

Fresh pic- I member. good stuff. I like it. alright.

Elijah Torres
Elijah Torres

that reminds me of something I forget on
visiting friends of parents out of state
they have a daughter who is like 9 or some shit
I have to sleep in her room while she sleeps in parents bed
every night for 3 days I jerk off with her panties
I mean they were all brand new since they just moved and I didn't cum into them so it wasn't that bad
wasn't even a pedo thing panties are just super soft on your dick

Leo Gray
Leo Gray

Weird....I eat a lot of citrus fruits so could be why. Not a clue

Landon Walker
Landon Walker

Posting some pictures that now i regret on Cred Forums

Dylan Lee
Dylan Lee

shampooing carper

Joshua Evans
Joshua Evans

Dabbling a little to much into the Freudian branches?

Liam Bennett
Liam Bennett

post them again fag

Luke Cook
Luke Cook

It's surprisingly hard to find a guy willing to jack off with a 13 year olds panties I've found.

John Gomez
John Gomez

jacked off to my teacher in my classroom when i was like 11 lol.

Aiden Williams
Aiden Williams

Of course not you retard.

Hitting kids only fucks them up.

Jayden Howard
Jayden Howard

Why not, already ruined my shit, just give me a second to post them.

Owen James
Owen James

That's why I'm not too worried...

Samuel Hill
Samuel Hill

i fucked the shit out of pic related.

Austin Carter
Austin Carter

I wanted to prepare for anal with a girl. While jacking it on the toilet I pooped and I put some on my dick to "prepare" for what it was like.

Eli Miller
Eli Miller

Nice trips. Freud's psychosexual bullshit was silly, but I genuinely dislike that he's written off as a total kook instead of folks giving credit where credit is due. He got the ball rolling in a major way on the nonconscious shit.

nice

Nolan Walker
Nolan Walker

already ruined my shit
did people find your fb or something?

Dylan Sanders
Dylan Sanders

statutory law
it might hurt your career, but you won't go to jail

Joshua Richardson
Joshua Richardson

I'm 22.. that's jailbert

Wyatt Wood
Wyatt Wood

be 12
visiting dad & stepmom
finished swimming
going up the stairs to change
stepmom in kitchen yells at me to check on sleeping baby stepsister
go into her room
shes laying in her crib
awake, sorta kicking her legs around
one side of diaper isn't attached; front poking up a little
from my angle, can just barely see the crack of her pussy
bonerinitiated.jpg
pull diaper away a little to see more
pussy wet from pee
pull diaper a little more
everything is wet and puffy and red
dickisdiamonds.jpg
reach thumb in
rub against lips
feel my heartbeat in my ears
thumb trembling as i start to press tip inbetwe--
hear stepmom coming up the stairs
push front of diaper down
bolt to the door, yell at her from down the hall
"she's awake. needs new diaper."
go into bedroom
wait til hear mom enter stepsis's bedroom
pull off swim trunks
close eyes
smell thumb
fap furiously

Joseph Gonzalez
Joseph Gonzalez

Btw psychologically I'll let you run authority on that one. Physically you should be using saline for the enemas.

Source: im a cancer researcher

Luke Mitchell
Luke Mitchell

hot.

James Garcia
James Garcia

Typical liberal bullshit.

Carson Phillips
Carson Phillips

i fucked a quesadilla once while very high, forreal

Adrian Hall
Adrian Hall

my sister

Aaron Reed
Aaron Reed

yeah, i know municipal water supply ain't the best thing to have up one's ass. Haven't had any negative short-term effects, so i don't really care that much. Just waiting on the cancer lol. also, props for respect as opposed to typical "hurr durr ur psychologist, prove it i know more than u u loser neckbeard fuck." it's refreshing

Colton Torres
Colton Torres

15
1 5

He said 1 5 year old, as in he fucked one 5 year old, twice.

Daniel Nelson
Daniel Nelson

What, was it a guy, you fucking faggot?

Daniel Gomez
Daniel Gomez

Masturbated during some language class in high school. The class was boring and the girl sitting in front of me had and still has the best ass in the universe, so I spent my time doing something useful. Perks of sitting in the last row.

Jordan Adams
Jordan Adams

Damn son hahahah

Joshua Reyes
Joshua Reyes

I don't believe it.

Isaiah Ortiz
Isaiah Ortiz

underrated roast, lulz

Logan Bennett
Logan Bennett

Where are you from? Like, state.

Brody Johnson
Brody Johnson

When she's 22, you'll be fine, then.
Funnily enough, my old man did the same thing with the same ages with my mom.

Liam Lee
Liam Lee

Ditto m8, despite my engrish moment. While not necessarily carcinogenic, it's more just creating a hypotonic environment in the colon. Could result in some digestion issues in the future. I think saline kits are pretty easy to find these days. Hell if you want discrete just get the "Nettipots" and make sure you make it your final rinse... so-to-speak.

Charles Perry
Charles Perry

Yeah what's your current address

David Lee
David Lee

Oh how wrong you are, friendo.

Levi Rogers
Levi Rogers

Well I'm just saying sounds like someone I know in Den, CO

*shrugs* not that important to me anyway

Bentley Myers
Bentley Myers

He's not your friend, buddy.

Wyatt Hernandez
Wyatt Hernandez

No just fifteen sperg. Literally nothing attractive about little girls pedo. The 15 year old was tall, developed, ass and tits I couldn't resist.

Nicholas Watson
Nicholas Watson

Eh, wats up, doc?

Gabriel Roberts
Gabriel Roberts

habeeb it

ah, i see. hopefully i don't do it often enough to have serious effects (maybe once or twice a month, tops). honestly i'm just rationalizing instead of listening to people who know shit at this point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nicholas Garcia
Nicholas Garcia

Right? It's not even that big an age difference ugh.

John Reyes
John Reyes

kik and a half user

Anthony Adams
Anthony Adams

was her name meg just out of curiosity?

James Foster
James Foster

masturbated with icyhot.

Blake Williams
Blake Williams

Not even close

Jace Rogers
Jace Rogers

how was it?

Daniel Nelson
Daniel Nelson

pedo

You're the one fucking minors, 5 or 15

Owen Martinez
Owen Martinez

Try Australia M80

Christopher Jackson
Christopher Jackson

I did something similar but it was with a giant history book. Got away with it a few times but I don't recall if my balls were up n' running yet.

Benjamin Gomez
Benjamin Gomez

came by rubbing my dick against a tree through my jeans while sitting atop it

Jeremiah Scott
Jeremiah Scott

Then I don't see what the big deal was bruh, lol

Sebastian Powell
Sebastian Powell

I enjoy tying myself up.
One time I left the keys my handcuff inside my house, drove and placed my house key about a mile and a half away from my house, got naked, and then locked myself up.
Tied my ankles so I had to walk very slowly. Almost got caught a few times, but managed to hide. The whole time I was shocking myself as well.
A lot of fun, but definitely not doing it again any time soon.

Nathan Butler
Nathan Butler

I want dubs goy

Luis Wilson
Luis Wilson

wtf

William Anderson
William Anderson

Meh, didn't fuck her bc of her age, she had the body of a 20 year old. And i wadnt the fiest or last older guu she fucked, she was a self described slut. Hypersexual i guess, so that eased my conscience. Also it was just twice one night. Never been with another girl under 19

Oliver Long
Oliver Long

fucked my step sister when we were both like 14 before she became my stepsister and continued after.

Andrew Mitchell
Andrew Mitchell

whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, pedo scum

Ryder Bell
Ryder Bell

More?

Sebastian Powell
Sebastian Powell

Future serial killer
That relief you felt is how I imagine serial killers feel after they kill.

Kevin Williams
Kevin Williams

K

Benjamin Gray
Benjamin Gray

Legend, Hope he was hot.

Logan Green
Logan Green

they jerk their clit

Virgin detected

Tyler Gray
Tyler Gray

lol'ing so hard I literally pissed myself a little. Now I won't be able to wake my wife up to fuck. But after reading this sick shit it's probably for the best, I don't want to start banging her and think about a damn bird

Joseph Miller
Joseph Miller

mfw sex is ruined for me now because i always think of bird
mfw i have no face

Jaxon Sanchez
Jaxon Sanchez

When I was in high school, fucking my girlfriend in the ass in the hallway, tucked in the back of the school. A guy walked down the hallway, kept his eyes ahead, and don't give a fuck.

Thomas Martin
Thomas Martin

he'd be a hebephile you fucking morons. pedophile deals with pre pubescent.

Charles Nelson
Charles Nelson

newscaster girl is so fine

Aaron Ortiz
Aaron Ortiz

Not stupidest by far, but I just got home from a night out with a friend and also my first time with a whore.
He went first (since he was paying) and left the door open, so for thirty minutes I could only listen to his drunken shit talk while the whore tried to get him to shut the fuck up and concentrate while staring at the flower patterned window drapings, which was somewhat awkward.
During my turn my friend played guitar and cheered me on through the partition, and I only managed to cum after filling my both hands with negroid flesh and thinking to myself "this woman is an object".
Shit was fucking confusing.

Ayden Perry
Ayden Perry

you're all immoral cunts. have fun burning in hell, fag!

Oliver Price
Oliver Price

Cred Forums never fails to amaze me

Jacob James
Jacob James

Not sure why your cum smells. You should go to a doctor.

Lucas Jenkins
Lucas Jenkins

You're an idiot

Connor Diaz
Connor Diaz

Everytime while horny i post pics my gf sent me here to let you fap for her!

Jonathan Cruz
Jonathan Cruz

You can't post that and not follow up with gf pics

Juan Thomas
Juan Thomas

Blew my best friend a few times... We started jerking off together during sleep overs in like 7th grade, by 8th we jerked each other once in a while.. And by 9th, he had convinced me to blow him, and would never reciprocate... That progressed through high school.. Haven't done it since 09 when We graduated tho

Kayden Ward
Kayden Ward

Touched the tip of my dick to this and hit the shock button for the hell of it. It hurt like a mofo at first, but felt amazing about 30 seconds later when I started to fap. My dick was at least 10x more sensitive.

Kevin Myers
Kevin Myers

What do you mean?

Benjamin Rodriguez
Benjamin Rodriguez

when I was around 12 years old I found my stepmom's vibrator... been stickin things up my ass ever since

Evan Rivera
Evan Rivera

Told her I loved her.

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