Hey guys, God here. I'm about to release patch 3.53.1 for your universe. Taking suggestions...

Can you eliminate mosquitoes? Or remove their stinging ability?

K, thx, bai

fucking this

Please give her back

Could you do this but also make bugs not so attracted to me?

>all sales are final

when is the patch coming? and how big will it be?

>
>Could you do this but also make bugs not so attracted to me?
It to any humans, you selfish faggot.

No chance even just for a fucking goodbye, just take me out then

>removed life on jupiter
How could there be life on a gas planet?

Could you make me into a girl please?
It's fine if you can't I just wanted to ask...

You should add more possible natural hair and skin colors

Guys with hairy asses? Wet dint need hair there, please. And our backs too!

>>removed feminism because I let this happen on another universe and everything went horribly wrong
thank god, this patch can't come soon enough, can you please speed up the release?

Add an optional vaporwave soundtrack to everyday life....

Or like... fuck it... optional configurable soundtract to everyday life. Not on a device, just in our brains.

Also perfect memory recall of all music on demand.

Can we please keep the dream glitch? Thats the only time I dont worry about my disability

Maybe he meant the moons? Europa? Doesn't necessarily mean walking creatures, could be bacterium.

Vapor bats.

They're fuckin rad.

I need you to erase some dependencies with Allah's influence, focus on erasing people you know as arabs.

They're are mean to ID everyone on the planet, don't think I count people personally.

Sorry. She's very important for the universe right now and loves you tremendously, that's why I offered her this task.

Can't say that. I'm currently installing another patch on a Universe at war. So it'll take some time.

I thought you would like that ability.

Don't think about it again, I removed it anyway.

Sure, I only need you to get into a life.

You don't want that, trust me.

I don't want to take risks, better to be sure

Requesting a magic DLC.
I want to throw fireballs at stuff.

Bring back Hitler and Genghis Khan

can you add in more detail and remove the mandela bug? that'd be fantastic.

That's why it was removed dumbass it was a bug

oh okay that makes alot more sense. thanks god

Can you bring Hitler back?

He won in a previous patch but it cause long term stability that made the universe boring for the endgame.

>I don't know, my son had that and was crucified.

Remove the anus. It's a real shitty orifice.

please erase spiders or aracnophobia. Also make the lucid dreaming/astral projection event to happen more frequently, it's fun

>
>
>You don't want that, trust me.

Don't want hairless ass/back?

Leads to world of traps.

Noted, there'll be some exceptions.

Let that to technology, you are not too far from that.

Sorry, my son is not willing to return a fourth time.

That's the more efficient system, millions of years ago, everyone had to poo through the skin. Bad idea.

I could help you guys with arachnophobia. Let me test it with some individuals before.

Yes, magic dlc please. If it's too dangerous just add telekinesis and stuff like that, just simple magic so no one fuck shit up

>>minor brain calibrations in preparation for VR

Hoe the fuck to defecate?

>get into a life
>into a life
?

Please nerf my disease, im just a useless background character in this game now.

With all due respect, God, your game sucks, don't get me wrong the graphics are really nice, good job on that, but the game play really sucks, you could at least add in some dragons, or more interesting quests, this shit right here is just boring.

If you ask me, forget patching, just delete it and start all over, this time remove all boring survival aspects from the beginning, and make it something interesting like an action adventure rpg with magic and shit and don't forget dragons!

What's the possibility I'll end up happy?

yes please. I swear I can't function properly if there's any kind of spider near. Also lower theur population, Dude my yard is full of those critters

>
God, I have a question,
Whats the deal with these fucking clown sightings? pic related is a dude from my hometown but all you gotta do is google clown sightings, and this faggotry is all over the place

Make the dragons anthro and fuckable too :^)

Then for me, please? Sorry to sound selfish in my request. But i am organ donor, and think about humanity's progress.

Bump

m.youtube.com/watch?v=jrgLv55OMw4

>removed ticks

BASED GOD
A
S
E
D

G
O
D

Well how about this. Endow me with the ability to shapeshift, and take etheral form. Why? Just because. You can take it all back afterwards anyways. Your God.

Wish I could, but it could lead to the human race dying out, and I need you little brain apes.

>Create game with dragons
>Dragons fuck shit up, players don't get to be top of food chain, everyone whines/dies
>Remove dragons
>WAAH life is too boring!

Every fucking game...

God, I think something is wrong with reality for me. I was born a cis-white male in a western society to a middle-class family and did not automatically become successful. I thought that this was a given. Can you look at my save file and see if something glitched?

Also, did you see my mosquitoes request to remove their stinging ability?

This is why you make them look and act like humans, just with dragon features. Best of both worlds and I get dragon pussy

God, please grant me attractiveness!

My sides...bg character...you sir deserve sainthood lol

Dude you don't just roll a cookie-cutter class, ahh too late I suppose. When deciding on a class always read up on what that class is saying, not other whining cunts.

When will we get modding tools and access to a developer console? It's been billions of fucking years.

To the female gender, of course.

Through one such request? I hold this much power?

Just fuck a komodo dragon you furry cunt, stick your dick in it's mouth to start with.

Earth is a background character right now. But don't worry, I'll look for something to do with you.

Earth is not a game, is a minigame designed to take great influence on the main history of your universe, but that'll be in a couple million years.

I can't tell you that. Just that Cred Forums isn't your place.

They're a glitch that appeared since I created politics and languages. I'm working on it but is complex. Just give me some time.

Did it before and everyone got really horny and burned as hell.

We'll see.

You are not prepared for that, they would be jealous and destroy you.

He is not me.

You're right, you're a glitch. Just wait for the patch.

Yes, but until I think about a better ID tag system, you'll have to deal with that.

There are things that even I can't do.

Never. Sorry.

Having the indecency to ask god to become a god
>There is a special place in hell for this one

Yes Mr. God. Do something about the Muslims. Also make space travel easier so some of us can get the fuck out of this hellhole.

Just going to antigrav or something, I won't abuse it. Honest!

God why did you strand us on this rock? In this shit hole where we can always imagine our dreams bur we can never have them? Just let me live in bliss or don't let me live at all

Space travel is allready easy as fuck due to relativity. The biggest challenge is the gravity on earth but that will be solved with my space elevator once I get done with my degree.

>>fixed a glitch where you could become aware that you're dreaming in dreams
>>fixed a memory bug you know as deja vu
Fuck you I like those things.

Help me with memory? I want to remember more and be smarter?

Muslims are a test. I trust you to solve this problem, so I can take you all into space and get them to know you.

I'm protecting you.

That's why I'm deleting dream and memory glitches, because they overuse brain power.

Sweet, thanks.

How long before upgrade push?

It's nice to have someone protecting me

God, I have three main problems now. I'd love if you could do something about spiders/arachnophobia, my crippling depression and the fact that I'm forggeting the simplest stuff though I'm only 21

he said that already

Who created you? Will you get patched to optimize you too?

What happens when we evolve into Gods ourselves ?

This, i too have depression that may ruin a 9 year relationship (3 years engaged).

Dear God, my computer keeps fucking up. Can you fix it? I can't afford a new one.
Also give me some friends who live near me.
And a good dealer.
And take away this breathing problem I have. And my depression, and the depression of my friend, whom you already know about since you're God. And take away this retardation that has plagued me recently. I know that's a lot of things. Anyway, Amen.

As I said before, I'm working on arachnophobia, but'll be delivered until the next patch. Depression is a function I used trying to avoid dangerous people as much as possible, unfortunately this function isn't perfect, you need to change variables on this one, change your lifestyle. I can do things work out for you but I need you to try. Also, forgetting stuff is a consequence of this function.

Nice try. You don't need to know that.

You won't.

As I said to you need to change variables. Change your lifestyle with your partner. I helped once to this couple who had fights everyday, so I made the guy to make pig noises everytime he gets angry. That changed everything.

My child, your time has come.

Thank you god, I feel less lonely

I like you
You made my day god
Updating now

Sorry, only Christians have early access.

Good night god, it's actually 4am here. Give me nice dreams and a hug please

Have pleasant dreams my child.

G'day lads, your lord and saviour Satan here. I've hacked into God's update for the universe and removed the deja vu and lucid dreaming patches. taking suggestions for what to hack in if I can get through undetected. Currently:

>Removed Deja-vu fix
>Removed Lucid Dreaming fix
>Added Burning Horse
>Added intelligent life to Alpha Centuri
>Increased spawnrate of UFO's
>Increased Abduction rate of UFO's

God, why can't I find happiness in my life

Hey Satan, would you mind removing all things called "women" they are extremely annoying and always keeps on nagging. Thanks.

Hi there Based God. Kill me? Or grant me my fantasies? I'd really appreciate it, boss.

No, keep in lucid dreaming! I love that one, and it's not like it's fucking with competitive balance!

Maybe make it a side activity? Or let it stay instead of the normal loading screen shit?

How about you fix those surprise erections. Despite what so many Cred Forumstards claim, really don't need them that often.