apu edition

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why did he puncture that tomato


it's wacky bruce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very sick today lads but the qt is expecting me so I can't disappoint. She spent literally 6 hours confessing to me over the weekend there haha

she sounds demented


don't go for the insane ones me

did i ask?
no, i did not

you wish

is she demented?

bet she's the author of the article "i cant stop sleeping with brexit voters"

you her priest?

gf just sent me this


Sarah Jane Mee?

More like Sarah Jane Peng


I can feel it lads

The white man is rising

wants me a spic gf


*blocks your path*


alright love

rosemary and thyme

>and i want to kill some boxes

the great monstrosity

Forgot to set the toil bell for this morning, running very late.

why can't an intelligent fellow such as my self receive flirts from voluptuous females

>tehee im straigth

*reads and gets rich*

doesn't work


What's the deal with houses?
The fridge runs
The water runs
The electricity runs

Only thing that doesn't run is me!


Just masturbated to porn where the scenario was American nuns purifying one of their number by the use of anal dildos and lesbian anilingus.

Christians are weird.

went to a pub in paris friday
12 euros for a pint
how about no

>are Isabel is now a fully fledged MILF

my dicc

porn? don't touch the stuff

fbi is controlling the world fuck fuck fuck

wonder how many babies she eats

Uni toil today


What phone have you got /brit/?

a pint here is half the price of a sixpack. and it's not even a real pint, it's a "metric pint"

really really enjoying all your blog's

galaxy s3
hate bunk you have to go through in order to get a new one


women? don't touch the stuff

*the bunk

post fucking machines


Hi, apparently I've been paying for unlimited 4G internet for well over a year now along with my broadband but have never received the sim card.

how was getting treated by goebbels like

OnePlus 3T


“Man, I’ve just gotta stop hanging around with these human things” - dog, probably

a large coke with fries, keep the change

Galaxy J7

up yours fuckhead

Toil Bell
Toiling Donuts
Toil King

moto g lte

JFs are subhumans
Brits rule the world

you in koh phangan, bruce?

I don't give a shit

More like Gay7

*blocks your path*

VERY clever

>and i want to kill some boxes
>boxes mean vaginer btw
be sure to keep us updated on how that works out for you la

I like my women like I like my coffee: hot, sweet, and full of black cock

tfw toil

saw this one on facebook

you need to stop having black cocks for breakfast

no and I'm not australian

tinder match called me a manlet

this was a good one iibthwy

Just called a yank a manlet on tinder

pints used to be around a litre here but we use the anglowimp system of around half a litre now

>Fast-food chain KFC has had to shut down a number of outlets across the UK because they have run out of chicken.

need that pre-workout protein

just called an aussie a cunt on Cred Forums

I like my women like I like my beer, frothy head and full of yeast

gee thanks capitalism, the death count just keeps on rising

>no and I'm not australian


post fucking machines

Laughing at all you poor cunts without a 2017 flagship phone

t. Note 8 Master race

it's funny you think it was a joke



how tall are you

ours is a whopping 425ml, and as a bonus the glasses have stupid fucking names like schooners, middies and butchers

>not op5t

'Allahu Ackbar!!'

Pope Francis

how short are you?

5'11 is the minimum height required to be on tinder

More like Pope Gramsci ha!

just got requested to post fucking machines on Cred Forums

need a kiss and a cuddle


>my wife's daughter

I married my wife Debbie in July 2016 and changing my name from mine - Nell - to hers - Harding - caused a big stir among my family and at work. The decision was a no-brainer for me. Debbie has a daughter from a previous relationship and we wanted her to have the same name as the rest of the family. I remember my stepdaughter saying to me that she didn't want to go to school with a different name, and I completely understood how she felt.

Been on tinder for 4 weeks and I've not been able to get one date

Wait wait wait.. Aussie pints are 125ml less than a glorious british pint? Dunno how you lot don’t catch more flack for this

the virgin fin


the chad swede

Got myself a Huawei. Half the price, double the quality really.


How am I going lads

But the most surprising reaction came from my workplace. I am a property manager, I deal with about 100 leaseholders living in blocks of flats. When one of my bosses discovered I had changed my name he said I should have consulted him first because it could cause repercussions for the business and its clients. He said people would assume I was in a same-sex marriage and that I would need to make it clear in my email signature that I had married a woman. It was offensive and I felt like he had singled me out.

Apparently they had complaints - although nobody ever said anything to me directly. Eventually the HR manager told me to take that explanation out of my email signature because it was unnecessary. My boss still refuses to accept my new name and insists on using my maiden name instead.

When I changed my name at the bank there were problems too. "We've never done a guy before," said the bank teller in disbelief. The branch manager had to speak to me and then he had to call head office to check changing my name was something they were allowed to do. We spent about 20 minutes discussing it all but eventually it got sorted out.

the virgin swede


chad finn


gg finfag

will be taking my wifes last name since mine is shit

Call her a miserable cunt

alri Mr Shit

>and i want to kill some boxes
you've fucked it its over gg

>Australian """""""Pints"""""""

I have always been very single-minded and I absolutely live for filling in the Maiden Name box on forms. Once you're aware of it you realise just how much the need to fill in a maiden name crops up. I now work in pharmaceuticals and go to lots of conferences, where there are always registration forms and inevitable security questions, including questions about previous names. I have ended up being put in an all-women session on more than one occasion because, combined with having a maiden name to declare, they think my first name, Wyn, is a woman's name.

stifled a small chuckle at this one

>my maiden name
holy fuck


afraid to watch this

IPA masterrace

Hate women desu

legally changing my name to DJ Mix Master 1990

alri aussie half pints xD


what supermodel pic are you using mate

she gets turned on by hearing dissidents insult her


>dad walks in

travelling in a fried out comby



enjoy 125mls of gluten

It's just this but with my face

dont expect them to admit to wanting to have sex when they use it to get what they want. they expect you to beg for it or at least play their game because they know you want what they have (their body).

>that cringe yank speak “this is exactly what it looks like”

So awkward and disjointed I don’t like it at all

Thailad's gf just offered me a fucky fuck for 10 dollar

shoes on the bed? I'm going to fucking heem you

How much of a fucking runtoid can you be, Jesus Christ

shoes inside the house? I'm going to fucking heem you

good way to get diptheria


Finnish people be like '20 degrees is too hot!' haha

at least pretend to respect them until you get what you want they dont take well to being treated like they are easy it hurts their feelings even though its obvious

the good image of australia took a serious hit today

noooo bro i dont wanna get tested id onnu what theyre gonna find man


anything over 24 is too hot

thailads...gf.... ha..... hahaha.............. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


>shoes on the bed? I’m going to fucking heem you

have no idea what they're saying

What are you talking about runt

how does weak shit like this get matches

send me the other sneakers thx

milkybar kid



you think it could survive the temp of the ice cream? srs question

I'll say this once and I won't say it again

this once and I won't say it again




not poor

Howling lads get a tinder pic like mine and you'll sleep with a JEWESS on the reg desu

wacky mick



i see a lot of similarities between my dad and tony soprano and between me and aj soprano

Would like to introduce turtle to a REAL british pint and then I would let a 6 year old child out muscle and over power him before skinning him alive and dispersing the various body parts into different lakes

*takes breath*

yanks dating advice..do you have to clap everytime you cum haahahahahahaaha.....

do u have curly jew hair? reckon that's a deal breaker

>i paid too much for a subpar phone because i was too lazy to do the research so ill just project onto everyone else


No lad

paid nowt for my flagship phone
not a tyrone however

going for the khazar milkers then

Does she have big tits. Not worth it if she doesn't have big Khazar milkers.

Reckon I've got this in the bag

abdi, give it back


she just needs prolonged exposure mate dont worry about it

REALLY want to see you succeed for my own horniness

wish I was a don like ed

What the fuck is up with reviewbro's comment section its literally 50% girls has anyone else noticed this

fuck mondays

she seems easy trying something humorous yet slightly romantic maybe it will turn things around

Heard on Sky Sunrise that Mummy May is considering shifting funding away from shit courses at lower ranked schools and to Tarq STEM students

all my life.....all i have wanted to be.....is.....the man of the hour

well he is a sex god

Um hello *ahem* I'd like a schooner, a schmiddy, and a pony for my gf (she's a lightweight)

iPhone X

Bought it yesterday

normies found his youtube channel and think everyone's mocking him

it is

any choice comments

>the ancestor of virgin walk vs chad stride meme

Do not want to turn this around

Bringing this plane into the hillside jaja

>I got a 2:2 history degree at Leeds Metropolitan, why don't I have a swanky £50k job in the City of London by the time I'm 25?

tarqs are more likely to be in the arts than the sciences or anything stemy compared to plebs

E x p o s e d

BARE banter flying around today

slightly worried this might be the case

The example used was of someone studying Nuclear Physics at Oxford vs Arts History at Bedfordshire

I know a guy who got a third in art history and is now a banker in london on 150k

guy can't add up his shopping bill

>private schools


feeling a bit crook x

>feeling a bit crook x

>>feeling a bit crook x

arts history is by far more likely to be a tarquin if you discount the unis.
it is THE posho subject for those who don't have to worry about money

>>>feeling a bit crook x

nvm i checked through some of the channels and they seem genuine

a lot of pretty girls, too - starting to become slightly jealous of rotw

Styles of address

2016–2025: Mr user
2025–2033: Mr user MP
2034–2035: The Hon user MP
2036: Viscount Howick MP
2037–2038: The Rt Hon Viscount Howick MP
2039–2061: The Rt Hon The Earl user PC
2062–2088: The Rt Hon The Earl user KG PC

Dont want to be involved with porn and its corrupting influence in any sort of way

>stay at home during uni
>work weekend job
>work summer jobs
>have at least one paid internship

Boom, no student debt.

Is it really that hard?

>Dont want to be involved with porn and its corrupting influence in any sort of way

>Dont want to be involved with porn and its corrupting influence in any sort of way

like to kiss my dog

this but unironically

>message a girl on tinder
>she ignores me
>follows my insta and likes my post
ah yes ah yes ah yes ah yes


how will thailad ever recover?

Just enjoy your life and pay slightly more tax (if you even reach the threshold)

i think they love him for the same reason girls love gays
he comes across as completely nonthreatening but not ugly and gross like a neckbeard
he doesn't seem like the type of guy to be trying to have sex with them and he isn't a girl who could be competition

like to tug of war with myself




should have been an advice dog was the only time when that shit wasn't gay af senpai

anticipating the tinder post by bruce

haha get it?


Any black man in?


fuck off

Slippery slope isn't a fallacy


R.I.P. Stormin

not in politics at least


because i hate niggers



Glad you got the Russians working on the explanation for you lads

recent thought: atoms aren't real

Why tho?

>Slippery slope isn't a fallacy
>not in politics at least

>don't push me on this icy mountain. i'll fall all the way down!
>"that's a slippery slope fallacy honey x"
*pushes them*

Comfy rain has descended upon these isles lads

>>not in politics at least

what level are you

im lvl 4 tbqh

dude what if race is just a societal construct and we were all black once anyway haha

Any marvel movie will do well here and it hasn't got much competition at the moment.

wish it was friday

replace porn with anime

bottom text is the best meme


between 8 and 9

Why are people so fucking defensive over people liking the film? Holy shit.

slippy slop fallacy :D:DDDD

starring into ocean waves,


Love toilet graffiti me

like unironically liking a kid's finger painting

Calm down cheddar man, can’t accept you black now?

apparently I needed an explanation

Cheddar Panther

The best marvel movie ever was Iron Man, followed by Dr Strange

thailads worried his gf will leave him for a black man

i reckon white people are gonna get killed at a greater rate in south africa after the movies release

>Calm down cheddar man, can’t accept you black now?

might have told a few fibs throughout my years browsing Cred Forums 2bh

quite tall were some of them tales haha

i would be embarrassed if i admitted to liking a capeshit film desu

but those are both the same movie

hello nigger

Are you schizophrenic?

You'll find few places that would discriminate the darkies more than here

Hahah, alri, lad, I get you now.

think so sometimes

what makes you say that tho


Why you posting your ancestors pictures?

I fucking hate this saffa prick can we get a vote ban on this cunt? !voteban Saffa


Because you believe in the paranoid white genocide delusion.


that number thailad gave out turned out to be for the king's phone
just rung him and told him he's a cunt

ahahaha, runts

>Because you believe in the paranoid white genocide delusion.

Never hear any boere here going on about white genocide 2bqh. It's always the armchair experts from abroad that come to these conclusions about the place.

>paranoid white genocide delusion.
brody pls

yeah changing the genetic stock of a nation to thrid-worlders is just business as usual among the various nations of the world

aye my relatives were slave owners and im proud of that. what about you what are you proud of blue gum?

small brain: love is just a chemical reaction in our brains designed to facilitate reproduction and the continuation of our lineage
large brain: love is a metaphysical transcendant concept
huge brain: love is just the sensation of a woman draining your testosterone

edit: referring to the west in general

How safe is it really?

the real resistance by the boers died off a long time ago


You can’t possibly know that exact detail about your own ancestors
I’m proud of my own life.

Cape Town is as unsafe as it gets on planet earth


*sneaks into the thread*

poo poo poo
willy bum poo
poo poo bum poo
oh oh
poo poo poo willy bum poo
bum poo all over you


I was asking someone who lives there not a British armchair expert.

it's a matter of statistics, dummy

oi you tried sneaking in here eh??

don’t care

Depends where really. Areas with higher concentration of whites are generally the safest obviously. Not as bad as most on the pole make it out be.


*throws away passport* uh, yes, *cough* I'm a syrian refugee in need of asylum?

welling up just thinking of the plight of the refugees

creasing up just thinking of the plight of the refugees

Can't be bothered to do this poo. Can't wait until we get transporter technology to teleport poos out of the poochamber without actually having to shit them out.

welling up thinking about the plight of the 125 mls

How safe would let’s say bloemfontein be?

>i cant do research and figure something out.
bantu logic

smell like shit and my kitchens a bloody mess but cba addressing either

wow just discovered the dark theme option on youtube

Fairly safe. Again, depending on the exact area. Why Bloem of all places?

*checks your furnished beard*
*checks the minor case on my form*

Because it seems worth visiting.

ain't got the genetics for a beard lad *sheds a single soy-based tear*

Ok, that's a first. Wouldn't mind getting a drone cam and filming all the areas. Might give people a better perspective of the areas.

You seem like a fucking bellend ya drip

Why am I a bellend?

just keep talking, people: you're making my job a whole lot easier


fucking /birt/
dyslexic black cunt