Seinfeld Thread

Daniel Edwards
Daniel Edwards

ELAINE
Jeeze, can you believe how quickly
they got this place cleaned up? This
entire block was covered in dust!

JERRY
I know, it’s immaculate! It’s like
they made a blood sacrifice to Mr.
Clean. Hey, by the way, I am so, so
sorry about that guy you were seeing.

ELAINE
Brian? Meh.

JERRY
Meh? What do you mean, meh? He was
murdered by terrorists.

ELAINE
I was gonna break up with him anyway.

JERRY
I thought you liked him.

ELAINE
He was nice, but in conversations he
was just so... animated. It was like I
was dating a radio sound effects guy.
Anyway, saved me an awkward dinner.

JERRY
Well as long as it worked out for you.

(KRAMER ENTERS AND RUSHES TO THE TABLE, SITTING NEXT TO JERRY.)

KRAMER
You remember my crazy friend Mo Atta?

ELAINE
The guy you fish-sit for when he goes
to Florida? What about him?

KRAMER
Look at this!

(KRAMER HANDS ELAINE A NEWSPAPER. SHE READS.)

ELAINE
“The leader of the hijackers has been
identified as Egyptian-national
MOHAMED ATTA.” GET - OUT!

(ELAINE SHOVES KRAMER FROM ACROSS THE TABLE.)

KRAMER
You know he was always talking about
how evil America was? Eventually I
told him, “Why don’t you do something
about it?” I thought he’d write to his
Congressman!

JERRY
Kramer, he just crashed a plane into
the World Trade Center! He slit the
pilots’ throats with a box-cutter!

KRAMER
Not “a” box-cutter - MY box-cutter. He
borrowed it last week!

ELAINE
(even more intense)
GET - OUT! You have to do something!

KRAMER
Oh, you’d better believe it! I’m
getting that box-cutter replaced.

All urls found in this thread:

creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Seinfeld_Lost_Episode
drive.google.com/file/d/0B50l484pDaMobXI2Wk5CX0NMbkU/view

Charles Reed
Charles Reed

creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Seinfeld_Lost_Episode

Parker Watson
Parker Watson

What the fuck

Colton King
Colton King

There’s a story about a "lost" episode of Seinfeld floating around the internet.

The episode was supposed to air around season six, but it was mysteriously cut. The “official” story about the episode was that it featured Elaine purchasing a firearm after being mugged, but many elements about this episode were never revealed until recently. NBC Executives refused to officially report on the episode until the Seinfeld season six DVD commentary. I have the tape but as someone who works within NBC, unfortunately I can’t reveal my sources.

I work at the GE building in Rockefeller Plaza, and I have access to their digital archives. That’s as much as I can divulge. We also have the entire original Seinfeld series in multiple formats, including original reels and VHS tapes. I noticed an episode with the production code “607” was missing from the tape set, and it was relocated in a set of old news reels. The replacement episode “The Mom and Pop Store” was filmed a season later to replace the missing episode. It is oddly titled “The Mason”.

Lincoln Williams
Lincoln Williams

The episode starts out as normal, with Jerry’s apartment, but the camera is much more steady. Jerry walks out as though he’s been drugged and remarks that all of his family and friends have been dying lately. His buzzer rings and it’s George. George runs up, half crying and tells Jerry he’s seen something terrible. He’s mumbling and stuttering for about five minutes until he can form a sentence. There are still pauses for humor, but there is no audience or laugh track. George informs Jerry that planes have crashed into the twin towers due to a terrorist attack on New York.

Jerry turns on the news and you can see modern footage of the 9/11 attacks, all pre-filmed several years beforehand. George says that isn't the worst part: Elaine and Kramer were in the towers at the time of the bombing. What proceeds is a graphic and explicit phone call of screaming and crying and Kramer saying that something terrible has happened, and Elaine is dead. Kramer screams there’s no air in the building, and he’s burning to death, and that he’s going to jump.

The camera cuts to live footage of a man falling from the twin towers. George genuinely looks upset and says, “I’m sorry Larry, but I can’t go through with this,” and he tries to walk off the set, but people stop him and push him towards the stage. He walks out Jerry’s prop window and you can hear him calling his agent. There’s a lot of mumbling, and you can see candles being lit behind the stage.

Noah Thomas
Noah Thomas

Jerry goes over to the bookcase and pulls it aside, revealing a ceremonial black table with candles, a dinner plate, and a strange box. There is a Masonic symbol against black cloth just outside where the fake stage window would be. Jerry says some weird things in a foreign dialect, and one cut of the camera shows a poster of Barack Obama (This episode originally aired in 1995). The scene ends with Jerry waking up in bed, as though it’s all a nightmare. Kramer comes in and asks if Jerry has seen a lizard. Jerry laughs and says, “We are the lizards,” and the camera zooms slightly. His eyes become slivered, like almonds.

The tape is only seven minutes long, and what proceeds is just twenty minutes of dead air. If you continue watching to the end, it seems there are three more news reports tacked on. The first is about an outbreak of swine flu, the second about a train bombing, and the third...

Jaxson Wright
Jaxson Wright

9/10

Angel Davis
Angel Davis

this show gets creepier the more I analyze it

Isaac Taylor
Isaac Taylor

I don't get it, what is this referencing?

Caleb Cook
Caleb Cook

do Americans actually do this?

Jose Rogers
Jose Rogers

Observational comedy? Yes some do.

Alexander Green
Alexander Green

Thanks fren

Eli Garcia
Eli Garcia

no, i mean carrying your dog's steamy poop around in a bag, instead of having him to go in your backyard

Anthony Clark
Anthony Clark

drive.google.com/file/d/0B50l484pDaMobXI2Wk5CX0NMbkU/view

Andrew Cox
Andrew Cox

Please share your observations user.

Robert Campbell
Robert Campbell

You're supposed to pick it up with a bag if your dog shits in public.

Ian Russell
Ian Russell

that was awful, what the fuck?

Ethan Lewis
Ethan Lewis

The backyard is not available when you're walking around a different city. Maybe you need an American education.

Xavier Sanchez
Xavier Sanchez

1. train your dog
2. if you dont have a backyard, then you dont deserve a dog

Lucas James
Lucas James

here's your (you)

Luke Ramirez
Luke Ramirez

Why would you want dog shit all over your yard? Pick it up either way

Angel Brooks
Angel Brooks

big if true

Caleb Reyes
Caleb Reyes

It's a lost episode creepypasta. What do you expect?

Camden Gomez
Camden Gomez

Julia is actually part Mexican, apparently.

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