Faust edition
/brit/
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preparing for a wank
>tfw no bgf
...
Doing a wank on omegle right now
...
not even weeb but I could live on sushi tbqh
plus it's /fit/ as fuck
>humans build wonders and terrors in an attempt to destroy nature and tame the wilds
>suddenly super-diseases that we can't stop wiping us all out
So I guess nature was holding back until now. And we fell for it.
Same
Lying naked in bed right now. If anyone wants to slide under the covers with me feel free ;x
Wasn't alive at the time
>no food in the house
>too late in the evening for local chippy
>too far to travel to Tesco
>pizza costs far too much
What do?
WOULD YOU RISK IT FOR SOME UNDERAGE KENDALL BEAVER, LADS??????????????????
>tfw can barbell row 80kgx5
>Stick arms
Ah yes, /fit/ advice
...
underageb- oh wait
crusaders...
>kendall
nah
>Kittens thrown at moving train near Lingwood
me on the left
Try Justeat for something
Thirsty
might go get a big bottle of Dr. Pepper lads
eat your jizz
me on the left
Every British (real) man should have a harem of a least three French women 3bh
deliveroo
>no food in the house
realty though...there's no pasta/rice/beans/noodles/frozen stuff/eggs/tuna etc. etc.?
If that's the case, you're a runt.
don't like muslims, sorry
no
French women smell and don't shave
Don't see any problems with this 2bqh
>man doesn't have a shell with a lifetime warranty
m8...
In /brit/ '87, user posted about this, the Yoga, Lenovo's most accomplished Laptop range. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Yoga 710", a machine so new, most people haven't really published a proper review. But they should, because it's not only about the importance of sharing an opinion and analysing the performance of the machine, it's also a change for giving personal impressions based off days of use.
Oh okay then
imgur.com
absolute banger lads
>''''''''people'''''''' that drink fizzy drinks
yep, binned.
>that colour though
all black or bust m8, well I singed two holes in this one with a fire, warranty wouldn't cover it.
i like patagonia but it's mostly made in china shite
Might watch some anime lads
thoughts?
wear a hat
let people know you're all that
>that cock
M8, lift a little and you're literally chad
Ewwww nigga you gay
>what are stock options
jog on, runt.
don't
ur gonna make big bucks kid
Try boku no pico
show me your body
Everything is made in China these days lad whether it be shite or not. Patagonia gear has a lifetime warranty. They're all about saving the environment and all that guff so they want to repair your jacket if it gets messed up rather than you buying a new one.
Most likely they just send you a new jacket though if it's 15 years down the line.
See, British men are absolutely superior.
>No reverse image results
Holy shit.
...
>tfw dicklet
your physique is p. shite though lad
>That pathetic body
>That tiny pecker
lmao
>Sorry, we don't currently service [postcode]. Please enter your email address and we'll notify you once we do
New meme
fucking hell, why are 90% of used car dealerships owned by slimy pakis
...
You live in London
You're only making me harder
Top film
There are no Pakistanis in London
Indians live on the outskirts and are fully integrated
Bengalis just keep to themselves
>There are no Pakistanis in London
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>There are no Pakistanis in London
>reaction images with cool funny labels
bin yourself you fucking cunts
...
rajeet
Its true
The Pakistani population of London is literally zero. I have never met a single one here
The majority of the population will never meet a single one
why does it seem like a disproportionate amount of gay guys have big dicks?
reminder that corbyn has literally had his penis inside diane abbott
Ok let's get this going
>There are no Pakistanis in London
a lot more in West-Mids & Yorkshire as a % of population.
I keep telling myself to but I forget and then I can't be arsed.
want these people to drown
All UK pakistanis live in the North, in bradford and manchester and that
London only has integrated Indians and Bengalis
The pakistani population of London is literally zero
not one A level between them and already ageing like milk.
me on the right
You know that feeling you get when you think about how when you die the world will carry on without you?
That's what it feels like when you go from being NEET to getting a job and you know /brit/ is going on every day with new gimmicks, banter, slagposts, kpops, and shenanigans with the janny but you miss out on it all because you're working hard for Mr Noseberg.
Then when you get home from looking at a screen all day and talking to stupid cunt customers you don't even have the energy to do anything but sit in a heap and stuff your face.
It feels good tbqh
Drooling tbqh
>You know that feeling you get when you think about how when you die the world will carry on without you?
Happiness?
Men like and appreciate bigger dicks more.
My friends do live in the sense that you are Europeans, that you come from people who faced tremendous odds again and again, that much is against you but you've got within you that will, that spirit and above all, the faith and that belief which will lead the generations to come, to look back at you, in the pages of history, with the proud words; To Britain! To Europe! They were true!
...
how long is that?
genocide all socializers
But it's not literally zero, Rasheed. It's almost zero
bit sad, that
...
I've been paying VERY close attention to you mate
Watch your back
gf just sent me this so i called her a gaylord
That doesn't explain why they seem to have a bigger dingle dangle
I will do soon this time honestly, I swear. Then I'll do an update, pics of my arse, cock and body.
Eight inches
Fancy a go?
since when do women not like big dicks?
only 40 more years until retirement lad
feelings are gay
>I will do soon this time honestly, I swear. Then I'll do an update, pics of my arse, cock and body.
I'd shag you now lad but with some more muscle? You'd be hot as fuck.
Do squats for your arse.
I honestly don't know.
They always fucking complain, "Oh it's too big." "Stop it hurts too much." "Oh my God I'm bleeding." Men know how to take it and they love it.
*accidentally uses an americanized spelling
i'll take the one with her hand on her head in the top middle
why would you want a bony bag of smelly shit in your bed
...
>posting pictures of boring plebs at shitty commercial clubs
yeah. pls stop.
ill take the one on the far left top row
il take the one on the right
Desiccating myself with the new dehumidifier
We invented the English Language as it is today, so there's nothing to be ashamed of
Thanks, I will actually do it though, I've been wanting to. And a nicer arse would be great.
But yeah, about shagging me now, can I take you up on that offer?
Yes because /brit/ is the pinnacle of what you are currently missing
Eating activated almonds lads
>2.7% of London's population - (20% of the total Pakistani population in the UK)
gf's getting a bit clingy
might cheat on her to remind her of her place
need a gf like this
good lad
There must be around 300,000 pakis in London if we look at immigration trends since the 2011 census
going to the community "shitty music and erratic arm movement while trying to fit in and pretending to like it" joint
>someone makes a thread about Ireland or the IRA
This happens like 10 times a day here. Why is everyone so obsessed with Ireland?
>But yeah, about shagging me now, can I take you up on that offer?
Bit desperate lad.
I'm still losing all this fucking flab, so sorry, not confident enough yet.
good lad
Like the other poor devils in China, India, and Japan - a great new field for sweatshops to be opened up so that these new industries which we were creating in Britain today will be destroyed as the old industries were - simplified, rationalised machinery with a few white surveyors and then the masses of cheap coloured labor torn off the land and taken into the sweatshops to work and labor and cough their guts out with tuberculosis until they too are thrown on the scrapheap of the sweatshops.
Is that worthy of Britain? Is that to be the future of Europe? And is this competition to be organized within our European brotherhood bringing in these sweat fields in Africa into our Europe civilization so that the financial power in one European country can use it against the financial power in another?
ALL the great financial central power of the world now shifted from the city of London to WALL STREET NEW YORK shall be able on the mass of MONEY of wealth and of power which money brings to it AGAIN and AGAIN and again to exert its influence in POLITICS until as you see today!
It is CHILDISH nonsense to say that a British Government rules Britain - IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH BRITISH GOVERNMENT OR THE BRITISH PEOPLE. The government of the world is the FINANCIAL GOVERNMENT! THE POWER OF MONEY, AND OF MONEY ALONE!
>americanized
FOY
with chebs like that youre more likely to get a doorknob
how's tim doing lads?
hey aqualung
It's literally you people that do it
Muh heritage yanks
>Your education level
>Current job
>Current salary
Me:
>MSc
>Barman
>£7.25p/h
self-contained underwater breathing apparatus?
>112 thousand according to the 2011 census
>Estimated at around 223,797
>doing BA in mathematics
>Student
>For free
maths doctor
number wizard
100k
>MSc
>Analyst (Consulting)
>32k
MSc
Sales
45k
thanks for the You
why are fridges so fucking expensive
>bit desperate
Like you wouldn't believe. Alright then, I get some muscle, you lose the flag, then you shag me.
...
>2011 census
>224,000 pakis
>in london
Slutty. I like it.
apprenticeship
electrician
30k a year
i was also in that post :3
that makes me all titillated tbf
there's an orange ladybird on my bed lads
aren't they the poisonous ones
help pls
>A-Levels
>unemployed
>muh bennies
>/brit/
>posts a german band
nice taste tho
Been depressed for most of my life, do I likely have some sort of disorder?
Oh yeah like you wouldn't believe. I'm a slave to cock.
>why yes, I am racist on Cred Forums but pretend not to be in real life
>Your education level
BA (Hons)
>Current job
Civil Servant
>Current salary
>32k, struggle to pay rent and bills
you what?
speak english
preparing to stroke my cock to homosexual pornography
take him outside please
I saw a black one with red spots the other day when I was drinking at the pub alone till I blacked out, I let it crawl across my hand, it tickled.
gf just sent me this
not the least bit gay
I'm happy to take or give tbqh, but yeah always horny.
>no willy
????
jethro tull
>struggle to pay rent and bills
ancient gimmick
howling
molyneux is mental
>10 times
desuarchive.org
it's more like
good lad
It's tucked between his legs
very nice
>tfw bacne
send help
PhD
Doctor
75k
it's common knowledge that stef is a really creepy mentally ill cultist. he's prone to do shit like this.
So am I, I'm pretty flexible like that.
...
>20
>back hair
Halp
me on marujawana
>it's a router isn't connecting to the internet and I have to use my phone episode
Gosh, not sure I could manage 8 inches
>people on /brit/ claiming to make over 20k pa
ah yes. great gimmick this one.
/brit/ is a GAY GENERAL. Heteronormies need to FUCK OFF.
>MSc
>php developer
>42k
...
: to interest or excite (someone) in an enjoyable and often sexual way
Source: Merriam-Webster's Learner's Dictionary
>colleague is one of the most runty people I've ever met
>fat, unintelligent ITV watcher
I'm really struggling to hide my contempt for her. I need a better job fucking baka.
having a steak lads
Decided to become pansexual.
Should I make a profile on a dating website?
Anyone here with past/current experience with them?
ummm excuse me?
Why are Yanks so obsessed with their flag and all that?
They seem to hold it in really high regard, I get patriotism but people are livid about any disrespect shown to it even if its out of protest
26k is literally the average wage
will sell you accutane i have left over
£50 a box
don't do it
amazing post, Icelad
you have really changed the wat i think about life in general. my parents have been feeding me misinformation since i was a little girl, but you have helped me see the truth through your insightful and witty posts.
was going to but i think it was already kill
didn't move when i touched it
wrapped it gently in kitchen towel and gave it a proper send off down the toilet
rip ;_;
Wish I had a bf but I'm an ugly bugger haha x
was it art?
I'll be slow and gentle, nothing a bit of preparation and lubricant can't help with. If not then, well you can take me, how big are you lad?
make nearly double that
what kind of mental illness would you diagnose reviewbrah with?
he definitely has some anti-social type of behaviour
2bh i've tried in the past, but when i have to write about myself and my interests i realise i'm a boring cunt and dont bother
4 inches.
yeah but its not the average wage for the demographics represented on this website.
6 inches dead. Ignore the twat posting before this.
Is this fixable ugly? Self-loathing ugly but not really ugly or objectively, irreparably ugly?
MA
admin
21k
VERY good post
it was necessary for the joke
no you don't
gays will be straight in the oven on the day of the rope
*emerges from spiderhole*
Nice size, you up for showing it?
batty boys need to FUCK OFF
yes I do
>smartwatches
did the overlords really think the runts would buy into this lmao
yes
GAY SHIT
straight men will be bent over the table when they receive my willy
freaky frog cunt
NEVER reply to me again
my taint is hairy as fuck
how do i get rid of it
Sure thing mate.
...
some data ive collected from /brit/
everyone here is 6ft 2 with muscles, has a gf, has a 10incher, has a phd, make over 50k a year.
ah yes.
any bent man in
*squishes you with a book*
squish, squash
Anyone tried oxycodone?
I asked a question
and hates normies
my iq is probably higher than yours, so your post is wrong
This
would bend your neck in half manlet
what's a decent car for under 2k
really? makes me feel better bout my self
>6'9 with muscles
>have 3 gfs
>have a 15 incher
>have a post-doctorate
>make 1000k a year
I am actually unironically 6'2
But I'm not ripped and I don't have a gf or a 10 incher or make over 50k a year
hahaha
statistically
Mmmmmn oh yes there go my bollocks
4 is the correct answer t b h
best DNM right now? haven't used any since abraxas went.
>Go on The Big Questions speculatively looking for morality in Britain
>"And what university did you go to, Peter?"
>York
>"Ahh nice, very impressive."
Got a weak jaw and kike noise desu lad
no; not a degenerate
Oh I'm straight, it'd be awful if you did that to me!
you sound a little insecure
...
actually 6'3''
renault twizzy
really makes you think
...
yeah
>/brit/ trying to convince me they make anywhere near 26k pa
did not do any thinking as a result of this graphic
>phone up speculatively looking for work
>"and what university did you attend?"
>"university of york"
>"ahh nice, very impressive"
Unironically 6"1 with muscles, but I'm still ugly and make minimum wage.
tony bomboni weighs 8 stone
fucking twink faggot, would stamp his skull in
I love coming to these threads mostly for the self-esteem boost I get
>8'10 with muscles
>have 2 wives, 7 gfs and a harem of 14 wenches
>have a transmutable up-to 22 incher
>3 PhDs and a nobel prize
>make £14000k pa (after taxes)
my parents pulled me out nursery school so i could work at the mill
farts smell of shit
>being impressed by 26k
who dat
i make 1 million pounds a minute
It's a painkiller, you silly nigger.
talk to me when you make that per second, kid
Fucks sake lads some mentally ill tranny nearly caught me out on tinder
haha
bet that wiped the grin off your face sharpish didnt it
normie twat
>tfw 5'4 and built like an Icelandic mill worker
>So what do ya say?xx
>not shagging him
what are you, bent?
post her pic lad
>can go for a beer and watch the footy then lad
unironically made me chuckle, that
only ever read 3 shakespeare plays
shameful
spooky lad
>Admitting you want to bang a man
You absolute GAYBO
it's incredibly impressive watching how easily uneducated and indoctrinated Cred Forumsacks get utterly BTFO by well-read /his/torians when they go to /his/ to try to talk about WW2 or the holocaust
howling
>>>/hat/
Money isn't real
>literally 6'6
>8 inch willy
>no muscles
>no gf
>no degree
>make 16k a year
>8 GCSE's B-E
>Electrician
>Im now on 40k and im not even memeing
This year i started my own company with a fellow plumber. We're only 22 as well, feels good lads.
Example?
do I rate shakespeare? no
waste of genetics
could beat this little faggot in a fist fight with both hands tied behind my back
This entire thread, but it mainly starts around the point someone mentions "Greatest Story Never Told"
can't wait til you're featured on its tumblr lad
fucking always knew i should have done a trade. fuck sake.
Need to fuck this girl from work with immediate effect lads
I descend from peasants
Go offshore and you can make twice that at least.
ask her for a shag then
On a new secret prescription drug that no one knows about and it feels like a speedball
me bum bone hurts
Why is this so difficult?
>trades
you're bound to get cucked by poles and romanians
>find funny picture on twitter with a few hundred retweets
>post it to /brit/ with some shitty caption to make it seen like a blogpost
>(You)s flood in everytime
just like puppets on a string :)
oi gb
because talking about yourself is awkward and makes you think you're boring
drinking tea even darker than 1 currently
Iceland fact: if you remove a wheel from your car - it will legally be considered a motorcycle so you can pay lower taxes off it
Going out Friday night
Will try then
And by try I mean get far too drunk and make a tit out of myself again
...
>6ft7
>17inch cock (flaccid, people can literally see it in my trousers)
>Earn 10mill per year
People usually clap when I enter a room
been doing it since i was 16 m8, got a very good reputation in a well off area. those 'types' aren't welcome it seems.
fair play faó €€m
5'11" and 6'2"
>he's such a manlet that he just can't get his round someone 6'6 posting here
does she show any interest in you
ah yes whilst you get your pleasure out of a cheap (You) I'm secretly working behind the scenes to praise posts like this of that are of interest to me and you pawns go out and find them and /brit/ is like a curated news feed for me
keep searching runt
>this gangly freak thinks it's an achievement being 6'6"
god why do the deformed and mentally challenged make me feel so sad
she wants a man from Jötunheimr
we're in different teams so don't see her much, but caught her looking at me repeatedly when I was in her office for a bit doing something
will use pres to talk to her I think, see how she reacts, etc. and then hope she gets drunk enough to sit on my willy at the end of the night
Only been in this house for 2 weeks and already my runty housemates are trying to steal my property
They're having a laugh if they think I'm going to pay for their food and drink, this should teach them a lesson
ledgemeister
Still get the milk out of that if you tried
shave??
why
ah, my arch nemesises
Just dabbled with a bit of the old MDMA.
Lads, got a really fucking serious problem. Chairs at work make my arse/groin area/upper thighs smell like mental. No idea what the problem is.
Not my clothes because one day I went in with all new stuff and it was the same problem. I wash everyday and scrub like a madman but same issue. I'm a normal size and I'm not sweaty. My arse and area between balls and thigh sweat a little but surely that's normal and no fucker else seems to smell. Small possibility it could be a fungal thing but I don't see how when as I say I keep clean and don't go to things like swimming pools or gyms.
I only work part time but the problem seems to start after like only half an hour of sitting. Small office and I know people have isolated me as the source. Tried using various deodorants, talcum powder, types of underwear including no underwear but I get the same problem. Driving me absolutely fucking mental.
Is it possible my body is having some kind of weird reaction to these specific type of office chairs? Never have this problem sitting elsewhere.
based janny
he's 'ere
...
Just piss in their ribena
>did a thing
nope
UWWAAAA?!
fuck off back to Cred Forums you homophobe
not so fast
sys.Cred Forums.org/derefer?url=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FEIECo0M.gifv
Need a gf like this
>being a racist prick
fuck off bigot
*pokes a hole and shotguns your milk*
how big is his cock?
does it grow too or is it just really out of proportion?
VERY important question
WELL IF YOU PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT MAYBE WE WOULDN'T HAVE SO MANY PREMATURE THREADS IN THE FIRST PLACE
*audience roars in approval*
Hmmmm
had a wank
going to get into bed and listen to No one is ever going to want me and sleep
giving the pineal a workout
youtube.com
I don't know why they don't just raise the bump limit.
two of my best mates are black and indian m8, try again.
decided after careful consideration that I won't watch this video
Screaming
Nationalist Conservative >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Nationalist Socialist
ah yes, ASMR
*shoves an ice pick into my ears*
they look like right runts
interesting choice
you HOMOPHOBE
not a fan of the homophobic atmosphere in here
>life isnt about enjoying things. it's about fitting in and seeming interesting
this is what normies actually believe
need a work gf
great post
hahaha dickhead
>being friends with shitskins
fuck off cuck nu-male
belter
...
had a good idea for an edition before i went to eat but i've forgotten it now
fuck
>some young fucking unintelligent runt electrician is making more money than me even though i sacrificed my best years for schooling and pursuing a physics degree
fucking fuming.
alri sershlad
"What if, as is the case in far too many universities, we are given the message that sexual violence isn't actually a form of violence?"
Emma Watson, UN Goodwill Ambassador, tells the UN General Assembly that universities need to be a safe space for women and minorities.
>he fell for the STEM meme
*becomes an electrician*
a new level of cuck
no need to be jelly m8, seems like its ur attitude holdin u back x
when will they learn?
me helping my sister dance with her boyfriend
Science Technology Electricians and Medicine
do not mention him
the bloody normalton, he abandoned us
me underneath
prepping the bull
just thought you should know, i've been reading this thread for quite a while, and haven't posted until now
not like i lucked into it m8, its hard work, im on call 24hrs, i started when i was 16, its only now im making mega money.
and just cos i didnt go to uni doesn't mean im not intelligent stephan hawking
i wake up every day is a daydream
thanks
i was wondering then you would come out of your shell x
You're clearly a thick cunt though.
prepping the pitbull
Anyone want some of this MDMA, bitches?
woow. ..... dam.... make ye thinken
dont matter making bank x
watching cartoons
what if that were jesus, bro?
Got 9 pills in my house desu
No thank you
My comedown from Saturday has only just ended and that has put me off it now
Those are some clean sidewalks
sys.Cred Forums.org/derefer?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsys.Cred Forums.org%2Fderefer%3Furl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fi.imgur.com%252FEIECo0M.gifv
Lads
>MDMA
Enjoy your brain damage.
they're called pavements, yank
You have to be over 18 to post here.
Jesus had a work ethic.
me under the jacket receiving a blowjob
FANNY
>sidewalks
hm not a fan of this prolespeak
was waiting for you to join us actually
Link properly or I will not hesitate to fucking end you
looks pretty old and worn out 2bh
>pills
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER
...
>Why are thick cunt's allowed to make more money than someone that is university educated?
t. paki
That was well gay
MDMA is eurotrash shite real brits take codeine and tranqs
...
Rasheed.
Iceland fact:
the only way to travel in and out of the country is by using a modified trawler which serves as an airplane