/brit/

gf edition

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you
youtu.be/gpO_ZSf4WVQ
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strawpoll.me/11356651
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GAS
THE
TAIGS
lads

korean pop

>65673341
Get fucked Ludders

*bluetooths this to you*
youtube.com/watch?v=VfP2cCaFetA

How do I deal with all the normies at uni?

Just got home from my £24k pa job as a consultant at a semi-decent recruitment firm in the city. Pulled up to my part-share 3 bedroom Barratt house in my Volkswagen golf gti. About to put my feet up and watch Netflix with the girlfriend on my wall mounted plasma Tele whilst eating a ready meal from Waitrose, after that i might do a cheeky watch of the footie whilst she's away running a bath.

I wonder if arsenal will infact beat man u? After all i did put a cheeky lay bet on at work with the lads. Speaking of the lads, i wonder if we'll go for drinks down at 'revs this week? Last time it was banterous with "Pitcher" Pete from sales slapping that waitresses arse and getting kicked out of the club, haha, we ended up in the kebaby chatting shit about looney politicians, haha.

I'll just check my bank account on my iWatch to see if i can finance this weeks "shenanigans", ah! of course, i'm overdrawn, best ask the gf again see if she can transfer at least £800 from her beauty therapy pay packet. I'll make up for it by doing a facebook post with a pic of me and her saying how much i am grateful to have her, If not i could always put a claim in at the ole bank of mum and dad, haha.

>be me
>meet a nice girl
>actually starting to oneitus her
>actually talking to her as well
>no boyfriend
>many many beta males orbiting her however

i need to make myself different from all them.

hmm yes

KILL
ALL
HUNS

Haven't been here in a while, have we all forgot about are kev?

Just found out the gf slept with 3 black men last week.

risking another nosebleed and cleaning my inner nose

good lass

>still your gf
cuck

Why do Australians make such bad posts?

>Start beta orbiting a girl
>"heh, so many beta males orbiting this girl, what chumps!"

oh wow what an accomplishment
*walks off and talks to someone else*

>Pret sandwiches

Why yes I do want to spend £50 on oak tree leaves and Himalayan cucumbers !

Wow this tastes shite but hey it makes me look cultured ! LOL my bank account is empty?!

>owning a golf gti and a part share on a new 3 bed house on £24k
Doing alright for himself that lad

beta orbiting a prostitute lads

ha

you gonna just let her get blacked like that lad?

Cuckfag fanfic writers OUT

I don't mean to brag, but my missus slept with 4 black men last week.

fuck off back to greggs poortherner

I see that my ban finally been lifted

*closes reddit tabs*

Yes. Unlike America, us brits are not racist and don't care about casual sex

hes a fucking clown isn't he

slept with 5 black men last week

Who /5XL shirts/ here?

did you shag her?

Saw loads of wealthy Jews all heading somewhere today

You can just tell they look down on everyone and laugh

Unelected bureaucrats in Brussels

my gf is letting me wank today lads!

nose is bleeding again

mummy does the shopping for me

i had a bad experience with a prostitute last week

i ate out her arsehole and fanny and all this week i've had a sore throat and phlegmy cough

Bit insecure are we lad

Unsure if this is Caralad or not.

Unelected Brussel sprouts on me Sunday roast

cheated on the gf again lads

i wish I was this successful

stop picking it lad

the state of these posts

back from blackpool

had some donuts

What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done in pursuit of love?

>Australian replies to me
*hides his post*
*continues scrolling*

Ah... the beautiful fresh October air...

3rd one from the top is mine

Fucked a bloke

>costs ~80p more than a supermarket sandwich
>tastes a lot better

pret is based

any memes me mates

I once got hit in the balls while playing footy trying to impress some gal haha

3rd eye status: Calcified beyond repair

you are mum

Wish I could ban all benders like you.

good evening

ah yes

Had sex with a girl

not a fan of the smell of ball musk, christ

the difference between me is I don't any aim for her.

I approached a group of 4 girls infront of her to show my Chadness. I won't even worship her like they do, I'll never like her profile pictures, when ever she talks to me I want her to get a rush.

Managed to get myself involved with a dominant ladyboy lads ffs

Pretty sure she will end up blackmailing me

Only did it cause she said she'd strip for me

Need a boyfriend

Business idea: get the army to build a wall around Blackpool and use it as an artillery range

lmao he actually did it the madman
how much was postage

got the lads to send a topless photo of me (on facebook) to her whilst rather drunk then begged someone to give me her number so I could say sorry.

withdraw from anything resembling a social life and make sure they never learn your name

that'll show em

I had sex with all your mothers last night lol

never put effort into chasing girls
haven't felt like an actual crush on a girl for ages
just see girls from tinder that I don't want to get into a relationship with

keane 2bh
the verve 2bh
oasis 2bh
snow patrol 2bh

Get out as soon as you can

This one I met was fucking mental and sent videos of me shagging her to my boss.

Still get ripped about it.

What anime should I watch lads?

got one in the "pipe"line for poleaboos aberdeen meetup, it'll be a "blast"

Fuck OFF ;_;

*yawn*
*stretches*
*checks the time*

ahh, yes the normies must be back from wage slavery by now

fiver

The Heston Blumenonce baguette from Waitrose is the absolute dankness my lads

Give it a taste, don't let the chance go to waste

that's a 12 year old boy sir.

>Waitrose
FOB

>I don't any aim for her
Absolute gibberish typical of a beta in panic mode.

>>actually starting to oneitus her
>but I'm n-not a b-b-b-b-beta orbiter!

Lads I eat a can of tuna mixed with a pouch of brown 'Mexican style rice' and a bit of mixed bean salad most days for work

>costs £2 or so
>770kcal, 63g protein, 14g fibre

You can't beat this shit

sounds lit

windy tales or mononoke

doesn't take much effort 2bh, you just need to hang out

besides I really like the embarrassing, slightly awkward moments with butterflies in the stomach when hanging out with girls who fancy you

Just ordered pic related

telling her that i loved her and wanted to be with her forever whilst she was dumping me

friends was shite

the concept of sitting in trendy cafes doing nothing can't have been that popular, can it lads?

K on obviously. Or steins gate if you've never seen it dont watch too much anime desu just post it to trigger rorke

desu

sounds a bit grim though

hmmm

how's /northernirishgf2016/ coming along lads?

never make a connection with girls I know
don't really know why

prêt a manger is fucking great don't know whats wrong with you lot

Chuckled at this one

FOY

That concept is the only reason Starbucks exists and look how much dosh they make.


Friends was GOAT, by the way.

Aspirational tv is the absolute worst

Enjoy your mercury poisoning

lad, i see talking to other girls as practice for her.

i'm a fucking don, yeah I oneitus her, and what?

tell you what...
tell you what... it's nine and a half thousand pounds

this

chicken caesar baguette every day

I loved the smell of balls/bellend but only really my own.. funny that

Don't know where to start 2bqh

Actually like the taste, is a hit runty I'll concede that. Should really make my own lunch but can't be arsed hehe

just seen something absolutely incredible

like something out of star wars

*puts on DOTA by Basshunter*
YES LADS

maybe it's luck but it always seems to just happen with me

I've had one since last year. We're both taigs though (the only Northern Irish worth a shit).

girls und panzer

Just remembered that we got btfo by Yanks. Fuck thats embarrassing lads

made eye contact with a girl last week some point. I looked over to her suddenly and she seemed shocked/impressed at my neck turning speed

also ate a pain bagnat for lunch haha

good taste

need a wife

>go hiking in Bavaria in late April
>god damn fucking surprise snow when it was already 15C at home
>leave early
>get voucher for missed night at hotel

>go to the same place again last weekend
>rain most of the time
>leave early again
>get voucher for missed night at hotel again

What will nature think of next time? Tornaydoughs?

>I'm a fucking don
>I'm a fucking Chad
>Beta orbiting a girl that he has oneitis for

>We're both taigs though

ahah...nice one

*turns around and walks away*

>Showing off your neck turning speed so early
Lad, you'll intimidate her with your prowess if you don't ease into it.

Sorry lad, I don't fancy retards.

LOVE it when the bus turns up early lads

k-on

What is the equivalent city in Russia to Liverpool? Vladivostok?

youtube.com/watch?v=IWBLfzZNhHE
youtube.com/watch?v=IWBLfzZNhHE
youtube.com/watch?v=IWBLfzZNhHE

choon

buy a bycicle you tosser

>criminal shithole

Probably Tolyatti, or Norilsk

Ut us not me who is being unreasonable ut us ye

fucking hell sweet potato crisps are disgusting

Find it cute that the frog knew there was a "y" in the word but wasn't sure where to put it.

scousers are the kings of smack dealing

>why yes, I do make use of the omnibus service

It'll be funny one day

>there are t*igs in this thread RIGHT NOW

why don't you fuck off down south if you love it so much

>he considered shagging protestant schoolboys until he found out they were dumb
hmm

who is this semen demen?

not even beta orbiting.

she comes to me.

MISSAHS BUNFEEL
MISSAHS BANFIELD
MISSAHS BANFEEL

you're a yank aren't you
you've been undermining the lads all day

ahhh shite made a mistake again !!!!!!
*crawls in a hole*

Too far to cycle desu. Learning to drive instead.

*sets your face on fire and then puts it out with a fork*

*it's an improvement*

ah yes...very impressive...

Good post.

Check'd

Waheyyyy, well played lad. Protestant girls are retards too, unfortunately.

absolutely creasing at 190's performance with women

bit soon

who /4chanpass/ here

*kisses you*

>She comes to me
>NEED TO MAKE MYSELF DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER ORBITERS LADS

"bit soon" isn't a thing when your name is Bernard.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZVOIgPrDH7E

vietnam war military ration

looks like im going to have to leave the house

havent been outside since i came home from uni classes friday

for how many kms do u commute?

*blushes*

just wageslaved for 9 hours

shhhhh....shhh....SHUSH! ...SHUT UP!

>be me
>declare I love a girl here
>betas flame me for it because jealous

can you guys stop talking about girls and sports

it's making me insecure

Uni? Nah, not a fan.

Can someone explain the "rasheed" meme to me?

what does she look like?

Watching girls footy lads

poof

lads

youtube.com/watch?v=deyMNPbaRpA

forgive me father for I have sinned

About 20

okay

might cop a technics sl-1200

want to visit dubai

*poos on your head*

bought one before they stopped making them

going to hang on to it for 20 years until it becomes very valuable

>Announce I have oneitis for a girl and I'm orbiting her like a beta bitch
>EVERYONE ELSE IS THE BETA THO
kek

>made 30 bands in 30 minutes
>before I count it, I done damn near spent it

I'm not the kind of man
Who tends to socialize
I seem to lean on
Old familiar ways
And I ain't no fool for love songs
That whisper in my ears
Still crazy after all these years

ah yes quite a lot indeed

erene katya vera

>socialize

Alri Yank

...

until you have put your willy inside her you are an orbiter

@65674383
good post

I take it back. That post was shit.

How do I break it to my housemates that I don't actually want to live with them anymore and that I want to get a 1-bedroom flat

It's a yank song so I kept it in their gibberish language.

you lot will work for me one day

t. call centre manager

Chek'd

tell them you need your own space you manchild spastic

lad if she fucks it up somehow or on the off chance rejects me, I'll drop her like a ton of bricks.

might plan a holiday vacation to norilsk

You don't.

Just get your flat.

Why are all Youtube links showing up as spam?

you [delete this] tube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

no takebacks weeey dickhead

>not posting superior version

Like Australian men but find Australian women incredibly annoying.

Am I a poof?

It's not the superior version if I disagree with it you Paddy cretin.

>that tin can opener

wow look at me le alpha macho man xDddddd

But I'm signed to a contract here, I need to have someone else lined up to take my room for the rest of the year otherwise I'll be paying for it still

One guy said his friend was looking to move in but that was more than a week ago and because we had a room spare then, should I just ask him about that?

Who cares what you think lmao

>TFW eating freddos and drinking cheap Tesco energy drinks

Life doesn't get better than this lads

I had a crack on the GH arcade machine. 50p per song, daylight robbery.
Played reptilia by the strokes.

The guitar weighs a tonne, the strum bar was loose and mushy but the fret buttons felt responsive at least. It played quite loudly but still not good enough to play well, and the missed note noises where VERY loud, which felt tense and put me off a bit.

I got a third place score but the score table disappeared before I could take a picture. I waited for about a minute and it brought up a random song score list so I didn't bother.

3/10, waste of 50p

>if she fucks it up
>she
>when she's not even close to pursuing him
KEK

Who wants to buy?

$5

What if I'm a taig and also very proud of us being 98% white?

*walks in with swagger*

"HEY HEY HEY ALRIGHT LADS?"

simpsons did it

>cheap energy drinks

absolute runt behaviour

people who drink those 20p cans are utter runts, even the runts who drink red bull and lucozade.

runts

id prefer to win it :3

...

I offer 6 American pounds

she likes me lad.

Tough luck old boy.

You people are left wingers through and through.

Don't puss out now.

should have played k-on hokago live instead

the chase lads

>taigs
>white

youtu.be/gpO_ZSf4WVQ

>energy drinks
may as well take a pickaxe to your third eye

>She likes me
>That's why I'm desperately trying to change myself to stand out from the other beta orbiters

Look at her
Just have a look
At her
She is so beautiful.
I will never be with her

Sounds pretty weak and pathetic desu

>left wingers through and through
Factually incorrect. I think you already know that the way taigs vote has no bearing on how they actually feel about things. See: that poll of party voters that showed Sinn Fein voters having the highest resistance to "refugees" out of all the parties in Ireland

FOWB

Fantastic post

didn't see that one
there was a DDR machine but fuck that

>caring about your 3rd eye

4th eye: sealed

Vital reminder about the future of Cred Forums

>caring about your 4th eye

brown eye: sealed

Hello Mary Lou, goodbye heart

Call me a runt again you little shit I'll fucking stab you.

No?

Heh, that's what I thought.... kid.

is she from Norilsk?

4chins needs to die desu

>>That's why I'm desperately trying to change myself

but I'm not?

give me my money in stacks
and lace my bitches with 9 figures
real niggas fingers on nickle plated 9 triggas
Must see my enemies defeated
I catch them while they coked up and weeded
open fire now them niggas bleedin'
see me in flesh and test and get your chest blown

>caring about your brown eye

7th chakra gate: opened

>kid
>not chap
FOY

well you fucking should

>>be me
>>meet a nice girl
>>actually starting to oneitus her
>>actually talking to her as well
>>no boyfriend
>>many many beta males orbiting her however

>i need to make myself different from all them.

>not trying to make myself different though
lmao

does the UK have fluffer nutters?

peanut butter on a hamburger with mozzarella cheese is actually quite delicious`

Lucozade is the nectar of the Gods, you would have to be a fool and a runt to abstain from it, or in other words: a yank

need a gf that will let me drink her piss desu lads

why would you ever need 1920x1080 pixels on a 5" screen?

yes

we have nutella, biscoff, peanut butter, marshmallow fluff

we're very unhealthy

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1475501118424.webm

I like the 0 calorie version

don't tell me that's a peanut butter & marshmallow sandwich

...

idk mate lipton ice tea is a bit better

nonce

Nah, unfortunately

Tea belongs in the sea

Didn't know they get Lucozade in Ireland.

Agree though It's bloody nice.

Because every photo you take goes up on facebook, instagram and snapchat....right?

walk on

good post

the runts are getting restless, did someone switch their food up?

>Didn't know they get Lucozade in Ireland.
Dont be daft now

I miss Caralad

people that use that shit invariably add crappy filters to make their pictures look as washed out and obscure as much detail as possible

I just don't geddit

Didn't know you chaps have electricity until last week 2bqh

>lucozade original

leave this thread

I suppose a FILTHY scotsman would say IRN BRU is the BEST fizzy drink but THEY are WRONG

fuck off and SHOOT some HEROIN you JOCK bastards

*something something*....fucking pakis....*mimble mumble*...day of rope.....

MADE from GIRDIRRSSS

original is the best though

I swear to fuck if you drink lucozade orange or that shite isotonic sports drink that isnt even lucozade or even worse, the citrus flavour ill have no choice but to spark you out

original is the GOAT you runt swine

High res pic with shitty filter = high quality jeans intentionally ripped and torn = good because it's something expensive or high quality that you've chosen to make shitty on pupose because of irony

Low res pic with no filter = old jeans worn and torn with use = bad because you can't show off how expensive or high quality your things are and act like you only ironically don't care if they look like shit

Some Aryan bloke moved in next door. What's say we go over and show him just how welcome he is in an Anglo town?

>hating original
This thread is now mine and you are not welcome.
Leave.

My local store always runs out of Lucozade Orange first

Not one person buys the original kek

*nudges you towards the reddit door*

Tried IRN BRU once and was disgusted Scotchmen drink that swill.

let's tuck you into bed grandad

here we go we'll even put an x factor rerun on for you, you love x factor

off you pop

just hitta lick on kim k lads

>Aryan bloke
you mean an indian?

>not having milk in your tea
>not taking the teabag out first
>not adding water to tea
>not taking sugar
ghastly

>tfw no piss gf

but I like mixed berry

be there in a tic

This MRE channel is very relaxing

want alcohol but also don't want to make depressing trip to shops

what a dilemma

Good lad

> not adding water to tea
U wot m8

HOL UP
smacks lips
What yer tryin' to say is
rolls up sleeves
What you Anglo bois is saying
breathes heavily through crooked teeth
That we fenians can
Swings shaleileigh wildly
That we can like get sum
snorts loudly through huge nostrils
Get sum of that you saying that
holds armalite in hands and shakes it twice
Some fookin
eats potatoes and corned beef while having some Guinness
Hol up so u be sayin is
licks alcohol eroded teeth and grins
That this little anglo gurl hurr
AAAAAAAAAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AYYYOOO
beats wife profusely
SO HOL UP HOL UP
steals
SO U BE SAYIN
surrenders anal virginity to the catholic church
SO HOL UP U BE SAYIN
gets bombed by ulster scots
AAAYYYOOO SO U BE SAYIN
checks for nearest pub
U BE SAYIN
collects dole money
HOL UP HOL UP
licks beaten teeth and smacks lips
AYYYOO U BE SAYIN
scratches ginger hair
SO U BE SAYIN
opens a up a bottle of potcheen and pours some for his feins bobby sands and micheal collins
HOL UP SO U BE SAYIN
praises radical sinn fein paramilitaries
WE GON BE
dindu nuffins
FINNA WE GON BE
sucks air through teeth
AYYYOO HOL UP WE GON BE
collects pot of gold
SO WE GON BE
instinctively looks around for PSNI
SO U SAYIN WE GON BE
catches a leprachaun
SOM FINNA
scopes dem RUC
SO WE GON BE
shouts up a ra
SOM FINNA
chucks Claidheamh Mòr
AYYYOO SOM FINA
sets down petrol bombs
HOL UP
strokes welfare check for 37 potato offspring pensively
WE GON BE
throws petrol bombs
SOM FINNA
bareknuckle boxes
WE GON BE
grabs dick and shuffles left and right
SOM FINNA
participates in a drive-by shooting in west belfast
HOL UP MUH FENIAN
converts to Catholicism
U SAYING WE GON BE
repeated tiocfaidh ar la yelling in the background
SOM FINNA
sells heroin
WE GON BE
takes a puff of tobacco pipe
GAELS N SHIT

>he's not B E A D Y
I don't have anything to say to you

you add cold water after the milk cos its a bit too hot

fansonline.net/middlesbrough/mb/view.php?id=5040067

Need anything lads?

MAJOR

I'M BURNING UP

Mock her orbiters starting with the weakest ones, you'll look more alpha and dominant. Get a confession of love from an orbiter and twist it to get the girl to find them creepy and mislead the orbiters into situations where it only ruins their chance with senpai.

don't understand a single bit of that post but at least i learned a new word. thanks lad

>not having lucozade original in your tea

Really impressed with the sudden massive rise in post quality from the Irish.

With the milk you shan't feel the TASTE of the tea.

reckon your mum won't be allowed in with that sign on the window

>only 600mg of etizolam left
what am I supposed to do when it runs out?
I need it to function

you're diluting it then

No one is actually concerned for your wellbeing here so just jog on elsewhere

phone dr patel

this is enough
just don't take as much

Phone Dr Goldstein

you compensate by adding a bit less hot water so it's the same concentration

im tryin to snort every drug in existence, sometimes it requires innovation and persistence to find new drug snorting solutions

milk ADDS FLAVOUR to the tea you nefarious whelp

hmm

Try Cyanide next

Drugs? Shan't be opening your third eye.

Did we decide where we were going to migrate now Cred Forums is being closed?

Couldn't believe this when I first watched it

got a case of the mondays, lads

perhaps a bit of ket off your mothers tits instead?

just ignore the trotsky quisling mate he hasn't got the foggiest about tea making

reddit.com/r/britreddit

think i fried my brain with all the mdma i used to take

might fire up the old bebo account

No it doesn't you insignificant little worm.

taper

/r/brit

roleplaying as a Brit on a Tuvan throat singing board by adopting their colloquialisms lads

don't teste me knave

Answer honestly lads

strawpoll.me/11356651

And if I don't?

NEW

I only subscribed to nsfw subs

What should I vote?

does it count as browsing if i only check like 2 subs for 5 seconds each when i wake up?

*pavel